8544 lines
418 KiB
Plaintext
8544 lines
418 KiB
Plaintext
The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Blue Castle: a novel
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This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
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most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
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whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
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you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located
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before using this eBook.
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Title: The Blue Castle: a novel
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Author: L. M. Montgomery
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Release date: May 3, 2022 [eBook #67979]
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Most recently updated: May 19, 2026
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Language: English
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Original publication: United States: Frederick A. Stokes company, 1926
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Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/67979
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Credits: Laura Natal Rodrigues (Images generously made available by Hathi Trust Digital Library.)
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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BLUE CASTLE: A NOVEL ***
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_The_
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BLUE CASTLE
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_A NOVEL_
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BY
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L. M. MONTGOMERY
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NEW YORK
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FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY
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MCMXXVI
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CONTENTS
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CHAPTER I
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CHAPTER II
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CHAPTER III
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CHAPTER IV
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CHAPTER V
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CHAPTER VI
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CHAPTER VII
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CHAPTER VIII
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CHAPTER IX
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CHAPTER X
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CHAPTER XI
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CHAPTER XII
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CHAPTER XIII
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CHAPTER XIV
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CHAPTER XV
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CHAPTER XVI
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CHAPTER XVII
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CHAPTER XVIII
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CHAPTER XIX
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CHAPTER XX
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CHAPTER XXI
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CHAPTER XXII
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CHAPTER XXIII
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CHAPTER XXIV
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CHAPTER XXV
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CHAPTER XXVI
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CHAPTER XXVII
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CHAPTER XXVIII
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CHAPTER XXIX
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CHAPTER XXX
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CHAPTER XXXI
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CHAPTER XXXII
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CHAPTER XXXIII
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CHAPTER XXXIV
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CHAPTER XXXV
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CHAPTER XXXVI
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CHAPTER XXXVII
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CHAPTER XXXVIII
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CHAPTER XXXIX
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CHAPTER XL
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CHAPTER XLI
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CHAPTER XLII
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CHAPTER XLIII
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CHAPTER XLIV
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CHAPTER XLV
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THE BLUE CASTLE
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CHAPTER I
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If it had not rained on a certain May morning Valancy Stirling’s whole
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life would have been entirely different. She would have gone, with the
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rest of her clan, to Aunt Wellington’s engagement picnic and Dr. Trent
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would have gone to Montreal. But it did rain and you shall hear what
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happened to her because of it.
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Valancy wakened early, in the lifeless, hopeless hour just preceding
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dawn. She had not slept very well. One does not sleep well, sometimes,
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when one is twenty-nine on the morrow, and unmarried, in a community
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and connection where the unmarried are simply those who have failed to
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get a man.
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Deerwood and the Stirlings had long since relegated Valancy to hopeless
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old maidenhood. But Valancy herself had never quite relinquished a
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certain pitiful, shamed, little hope that Romance would come her way
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yet—never, until this wet, horrible morning, when she wakened to the
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fact that she was twenty-nine and unsought by any man.
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Ay, _there_ lay the sting. Valancy did not mind so much being an old
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maid. After all, she thought, being an old maid couldn’t possibly be as
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dreadful as being married to an Uncle Wellington or an Uncle Benjamin,
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or even an Uncle Herbert. What hurt her was that she had never had a
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chance to be anything but an old maid. No man had ever desired her.
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The tears came into her eyes as she lay there alone in the faintly
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greying darkness. She dared not let herself cry as hard as she wanted
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to, for two reasons. She was afraid that crying might bring on another
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attack of that pain around the heart. She had had a spell of it after
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she had got into bed—rather worse than any she had had yet. And she was
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afraid her mother would notice her red eyes at breakfast and keep at
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her with minute, persistent, mosquito-like questions regarding the
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cause thereof.
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“Suppose,” thought Valancy with a ghastly grin, “I answered with the
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plain truth, ‘I am crying because I cannot get married.’ How horrified
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Mother would be—though she is ashamed every day of her life of her old
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maid daughter.”
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But of course appearances should be kept up. “It is not,” Valancy could
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hear her mother’s prim, dictatorial voice asserting, “it is not
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_maidenly_ to think about _men_.”
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The thought of her mother’s expression made Valancy laugh—for she had a
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sense of humour nobody in her clan suspected. For that matter, there
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were a good many things about Valancy that nobody suspected. But her
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laughter was very superficial and presently she lay there, a huddled,
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futile little figure, listening to the rain pouring down outside and
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watching, with a sick distaste, the chill, merciless light creeping
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into her ugly, sordid room.
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She knew the ugliness of that room by heart—knew it and hated it. The
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yellow-painted floor, with one hideous, “hooked” rug by the bed, with a
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grotesque, “hooked” dog on it, always grinning at her when she awoke;
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the faded, dark-red paper; the ceiling discoloured by old leaks and
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crossed by cracks; the narrow, pinched little washstand; the
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brown-paper lambrequin with purple roses on it; the spotted old
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looking-glass with the crack across it, propped up on the inadequate
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dressing-table; the jar of ancient potpourri made by her mother in her
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mythical honeymoon; the shell-covered box, with one burst corner, which
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Cousin Stickles had made in her equally mythical girlhood; the beaded
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pincushion with half its bead fringe gone; the one stiff, yellow chair;
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the faded old motto, “Gone but not forgotten,” worked in coloured yarns
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about Great-grandmother Stirling’s grim old face; the old photographs
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of ancient relatives long banished from the rooms below. There were
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only two pictures that were not of relatives. One, an old chromo of a
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puppy sitting on a rainy doorstep. That picture always made Valancy
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unhappy. That forlorn little dog crouched on the doorstep in the
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driving rain! Why didn’t _some one_ open the door and let him in? The
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other picture was a faded, passe-partouted engraving of Queen Louise
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coming down a stairway, which Aunt Wellington had lavishly given her on
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her tenth birthday. For nineteen years she had looked at it and hated
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it, beautiful, smug, self-satisfied Queen Louise. But she never dared
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destroy it or remove it. Mother and Cousin Stickles would have been
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aghast, or, as Valancy irreverently expressed it in her thoughts, would
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have had a fit.
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Every room in the house was ugly, of course. But downstairs appearances
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were kept up somewhat. There was no money for rooms nobody ever saw.
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Valancy sometimes felt that she could have done something for her room
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herself, even without money, if she were permitted. But her mother had
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negatived every timid suggestion and Valancy did not persist. Valancy
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never persisted. She was afraid to. Her mother could not brook
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opposition. Mrs. Stirling would sulk for days if offended, with the
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airs of an insulted duchess.
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The only thing Valancy liked about her room was that she could be alone
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there at night to cry if she wanted to.
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But, after all, what did it matter if a room, which you used for
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nothing except sleeping and dressing in, were ugly? Valancy was never
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permitted to stay alone in her room for any other purpose. People who
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wanted to be alone, so Mrs. Frederick Stirling and Cousin Stickles
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believed, could only want to be alone for some sinister purpose. But
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her room in the Blue Castle was everything a room should be.
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Valancy, so cowed and subdued and overridden and snubbed in real life,
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was wont to let herself go rather splendidly in her day-dreams. Nobody
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in the Stirling clan, or its ramifications, suspected this, least of
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all her mother and Cousin Stickles. They never knew that Valancy had
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two homes—the ugly red brick box of a home, on Elm Street, and the Blue
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Castle in Spain. Valancy had lived spiritually in the Blue Castle ever
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since she could remember. She had been a very tiny child when she found
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herself possessed of it. Always, when she shut her eyes, she could see
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it plainly, with its turrets and banners on the pine-clad mountain
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height, wrapped in its faint, blue loveliness, against the sunset skies
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of a fair and unknown land. Everything wonderful and beautiful was in
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that castle. Jewels that queens might have worn; robes of moonlight and
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fire; couches of roses and gold; long flights of shallow marble steps,
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with great, white urns, and with slender, mist-clad maidens going up
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and down them; courts, marble-pillared, where shimmering fountains fell
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and nightingales sang among the myrtles; halls of mirrors that
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reflected only handsome knights and lovely women—herself the loveliest
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of all, for whose glance men died. All that supported her through the
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boredom of her days was the hope of going on a dream spree at night.
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Most, if not all, of the Stirlings would have died of horror if they
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had known half the things Valancy did in her Blue Castle.
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For one thing she had quite a few lovers in it. Oh, only one at a time.
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One who wooed her with all the romantic ardour of the age of chivalry
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and won her after long devotion and many deeds of derring-do, and was
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wedded to her with pomp and circumstance in the great, banner-hung
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chapel of the Blue Castle.
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At twelve, this lover was a fair lad with golden curls and heavenly
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blue eyes. At fifteen, he was tall and dark and pale, but still
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necessarily handsome. At twenty, he was ascetic, dreamy, spiritual. At
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twenty-five, he had a clean-cut jaw, slightly grim, and a face strong
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and rugged rather than handsome. Valancy never grew older than
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twenty-five in her Blue Castle, but recently—very recently—her hero had
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had reddish, tawny hair, a twisted smile and a mysterious past.
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I don’t say Valancy deliberately murdered these lovers as she outgrew
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them. One simply faded away as another came. Things are very convenient
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in this respect in Blue Castles.
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But, on this morning of her day of fate, Valancy could not find the key
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of her Blue Castle. Reality pressed on her too hardly, barking at her
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heels like a maddening little dog. She was twenty-nine, lonely,
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undesired, ill-favoured—the only homely girl in a handsome clan, with
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no past and no future. As far as she could look back, life was drab and
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colourless, with not one single crimson or purple spot anywhere. As far
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as she could look forward it seemed certain to be just the same until
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she was nothing but a solitary, little withered leaf clinging to a
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wintry bough. The moment when a woman realises that she has nothing to
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live for—neither love, duty, purpose nor hope—holds for her the
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bitterness of death.
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“And I just have to go on living because I can’t stop. I may have to
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live eighty years,” thought Valancy, in a kind of panic. “We’re all
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horribly long-lived. It sickens me to think of it.”
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She was glad it was raining—or rather, she was drearily satisfied that
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it was raining. There would be no picnic that day. This annual picnic,
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whereby Aunt and Uncle Wellington—one always thought of them in that
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succession—inevitably celebrated their engagement at a picnic thirty
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years before, had been, of late years, a veritable nightmare to
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Valancy. By an impish coincidence it was the same day as her birthday
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and, after she had passed twenty-five, nobody let her forget it.
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Much as she hated going to the picnic, it would never have occurred to
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her to rebel against it. There seemed to be nothing of the
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revolutionary in her nature. And she knew exactly what every one would
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say to her at the picnic. Uncle Wellington, whom she disliked and
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despised even though he had fulfilled the highest Stirling aspiration,
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“marrying money,” would say to her in a pig’s whisper, “Not thinking of
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getting married yet, my dear?” and then go off into the bellow of
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laughter with which he invariably concluded his dull remarks. Aunt
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Wellington, of whom Valancy stood in abject awe, would tell her about
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Olive’s new chiffon dress and Cecil’s last devoted letter. Valancy
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would have to look as pleased and interested as if the dress and letter
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had been hers or else Aunt Wellington would be offended. And Valancy
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had long ago decided that she would rather offend God than Aunt
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Wellington, because God might forgive her but Aunt Wellington never
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would.
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Aunt Alberta, enormously fat, with an amiable habit of always referring
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to her husband as “he,” as if he were the only male creature in the
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world, who could never forget that she had been a great beauty in her
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youth, would condole with Valancy on her sallow skin—
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“I don’t know why all the girls of today are so sunburned. When _I_ was
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a girl my skin was roses and cream. I was counted the prettiest girl in
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Canada, my dear.”
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Perhaps Uncle Herbert wouldn’t say anything—or perhaps he would remark
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jocularly, “How fat you’re getting, Doss!” And then everybody would
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laugh over the excessively humorous idea of poor, scrawny little Doss
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getting fat.
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Handsome, solemn Uncle James, whom Valancy disliked but respected
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because he was reputed to be very clever and was therefore the clan
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oracle—brains being none too plentiful in the Stirling connection—would
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probably remark with the owl-like sarcasm that had won him his
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reputation, “I suppose you’re busy with your hope-chest these days?”
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And Uncle Benjamin would ask some of his abominable conundrums, between
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wheezy chuckles, and answer them himself.
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“What is the difference between Doss and a mouse?
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“The mouse wishes to harm the cheese and Doss wishes to charm the
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he’s.”
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Valancy had heard him ask that riddle fifty times and every time she
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wanted to throw something at him. But she never did. In the first
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place, the Stirlings simply did not throw things; in the second place,
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Uncle Benjamin was a wealthy and childless old widower and Valancy had
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been brought up in the fear and admonition of his money. If she
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offended him he would cut her out of his will—supposing she were in it.
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Valancy did not want to be cut out of Uncle Benjamin’s will. She had
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been poor all her life and knew the galling bitterness of it. So she
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endured his riddles and even smiled tortured little smiles over them.
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Aunt Isabel, downright and disagreeable as an east wind, would
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criticise her in some way—Valancy could not predict just how, for Aunt
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Isabel never repeated a criticism—she found something new with which to
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jab you every time. Aunt Isabel prided herself on saying what she
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thought, but didn’t like it so well when other people said what _they_
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thought to _her_. Valancy never said what _she_ thought.
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Cousin Georgiana—named after her great-great-grandmother, who had been
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named after George the Fourth—would recount dolorously the names of all
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relatives and friends who had died since the last picnic and wonder
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“which of us will be the first to go next.”
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Oppressively competent, Aunt Mildred would talk endlessly of her
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husband and her odious prodigies of babies to Valancy, because Valancy
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would be the only one she could find to put up with it. For the same
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reason, Cousin Gladys—really First Cousin Gladys once removed,
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according to the strict way in which the Stirlings tabulated
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relationship—a tall, thin lady who admitted she had a sensitive
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disposition, would describe minutely the tortures of her neuritis. And
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Olive, the wonder girl of the whole Stirling clan, who had everything
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Valancy had not—beauty, popularity, love,—would show off her beauty and
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presume on her popularity and flaunt her diamond insignia of love in
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Valancy’s dazzled, envious eyes.
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There would be none of all this today. And there would be no packing up
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of teaspoons. The packing up was always left for Valancy and Cousin
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Stickles. And once, six years ago, a silver teaspoon from Aunt
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Wellington’s wedding set had been lost. Valancy never heard the last of
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that silver teaspoon. Its ghost appeared Banquo-like at every
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subsequent family feast.
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Oh, yes, Valancy knew exactly what the picnic would be like and she
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blessed the rain that had saved her from it. There would be no picnic
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this year. If Aunt Wellington could not celebrate on the sacred day
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itself she would have no celebration at all. Thank whatever gods there
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were for that.
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Since there would be no picnic, Valancy made up her mind that, if the
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rain held up in the afternoon, she would go up to the library and get
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another of John Foster’s books. Valancy was never allowed to read
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novels, but John Foster’s books were not novels. They were “nature
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books”—so the librarian told Mrs. Frederick Stirling—“all about the
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woods and birds and bugs and things like that, you know.” So Valancy
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was allowed to read them—under protest, for it was only too evident
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that she enjoyed them too much. It was permissible, even laudable, to
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read to improve your mind and your religion, but a book that was
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enjoyable was dangerous. Valancy did not know whether her mind was
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being improved or not; but she felt vaguely that if she had come across
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John Foster’s books years ago life might have been a different thing
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for her. They seemed to her to yield glimpses of a world into which she
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might once have entered, though the door was forever barred to her now.
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It was only within the last year that John Foster’s books had been in
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the Deerwood library, though the librarian told Valancy that he had
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been a well-known writer for several years.
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“Where does he live?” Valancy had asked.
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“Nobody knows. From his books he must be a Canadian, but no more
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information can be had. His publishers won’t say a word. Quite likely
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John Foster is a nom de plume. His books are so popular we can’t keep
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them in at all, though I really can’t see what people find in them to
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rave over.”
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“I think they’re wonderful,” said Valancy, timidly.
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“Oh—well—” Miss Clarkson smiled in a patronising fashion that relegated
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Valancy’s opinions to limbo, “I can’t say I care much for bugs myself.
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But certainly Foster seems to know all there is to know about them.”
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Valancy didn’t know whether she cared much for bugs either. It was not
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John Foster’s uncanny knowledge of wild creatures and insect life that
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enthralled her. She could hardly say what it was—some tantalising lure
|
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of a mystery never revealed—some hint of a great secret just a little
|
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further on—some faint, elusive echo of lovely, forgotten things—John
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Foster’s magic was indefinable.
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Yes, she would get a new Foster book. It was a month since she had
|
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_Thistle Harvest_, so surely Mother could not object. Valancy had read
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it four times—she knew whole passages off by heart.
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And—she almost thought she would go and see Dr. Trent about that queer
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pain around the heart. It had come rather often lately, and the
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palpitations were becoming annoying, not to speak of an occasional
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dizzy moment and a queer shortness of breath. But could she go to see
|
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him without telling any one? It was a most daring thought. None of the
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Stirlings ever consulted a doctor without holding a family council and
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getting Uncle James’ approval. _Then_, they went to Dr. Ambrose Marsh
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of Port Lawrence, who had married Second Cousin Adelaide Stirling.
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But Valancy disliked Dr. Ambrose Marsh. And, besides, she could not get
|
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to Port Lawrence, fifteen miles away, without being taken there. She
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did not want any one to know about her heart. There would be such a
|
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fuss made and every member of the family would come down and talk it
|
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over and advise her and caution her and warn her and tell her horrible
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tales of great-aunts and cousins forty times removed who had been “just
|
||
like that” and “dropped dead without a moment’s warning, my dear.”
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Aunt Isabel would remember that she had always said Doss looked like a
|
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girl who would have heart trouble—“so pinched and peaked always”; and
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Uncle Wellington would take it as a personal insult, when “no Stirling
|
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ever had heart disease before”; and Georgiana would forebode in
|
||
perfectly audible asides that “poor, dear little Doss isn’t long for
|
||
this world, I’m afraid”; and Cousin Gladys would say, “Why, _my_ heart
|
||
has been like that for _years_,” in a tone that implied no one else had
|
||
any business even to have a heart; and Olive—Olive would merely look
|
||
beautiful and superior and disgustingly healthy, as if to say, “Why all
|
||
this fuss over a faded superfluity like Doss when you have _me_?”
|
||
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||
Valancy felt that she couldn’t tell anybody unless she had to. She felt
|
||
quite sure there was nothing at all seriously wrong with her heart and
|
||
no need of all the pother that would ensue if she mentioned it. She
|
||
would just slip up quietly and see Dr. Trent that very day. As for his
|
||
bill, she had the two hundred dollars that her father had put in the
|
||
bank for her the day she was born. She was never allowed to use even
|
||
the interest of this, but she would secretly take out enough to pay Dr.
|
||
Trent.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent was a gruff, outspoken, absent-minded old fellow, but he was
|
||
a recognised authority on heart disease, even if he were only a general
|
||
practitioner in out-of-the-world Deerwood. Dr. Trent was over seventy
|
||
and there had been rumours that he meant to retire soon. None of the
|
||
Stirling clan had ever gone to him since he had told Cousin Gladys, ten
|
||
years before, that her neuritis was all imaginary and that she enjoyed
|
||
it. You couldn’t patronise a doctor who insulted your
|
||
first-cousin-once-removed like that—not to mention that he was a
|
||
Presbyterian when all the Stirlings went to the Anglican church. But
|
||
Valancy, between the devil of disloyalty to clan and the deep sea of
|
||
fuss and clatter and advice, thought she would take a chance with the
|
||
devil.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER II
|
||
|
||
|
||
When Cousin Stickles knocked at her door, Valancy knew it was half-past
|
||
seven and she must get up. As long as she could remember, Cousin
|
||
Stickles had knocked at her door at half-past seven. Cousin Stickles
|
||
and Mrs. Frederick Stirling had been up since seven, but Valancy was
|
||
allowed to lie abed half an hour longer because of a family tradition
|
||
that she was delicate. Valancy got up, though she hated getting up more
|
||
this morning than ever she had before. What was there to get up for?
|
||
Another dreary day like all the days that had preceded it, full of
|
||
meaningless little tasks, joyless and unimportant, that benefited
|
||
nobody. But if she did not get up at once she would not be ready for
|
||
breakfast at eight o’clock. Hard and fast times for meals were the rule
|
||
in Mrs. Stirling’s household. Breakfast at eight, dinner at one, supper
|
||
at six, year in and year out. No excuses for being late were ever
|
||
tolerated. So up Valancy got, shivering.
|
||
|
||
The room was bitterly cold with the raw, penetrating chill of a wet May
|
||
morning. The house would be cold all day. It was one of Mrs.
|
||
Frederick’s rules that no fires were necessary after the twenty-fourth
|
||
of May. Meals were cooked on the little oil-stove in the back porch.
|
||
And though May might be icy and October frost-bitten, no fires were
|
||
lighted until the twenty-first of October by the calendar. On the
|
||
twenty-first of October Mrs. Frederick began cooking over the kitchen
|
||
range and lighted a fire in the sitting-room stove in the evenings. It
|
||
was whispered about in the connection that the late Frederick Stirling
|
||
had caught the cold which resulted in his death during Valancy’s first
|
||
year of life because Mrs. Frederick would not have a fire on the
|
||
twentieth of October. She lighted it the next day—but that was a day
|
||
too late for Frederick Stirling.
|
||
|
||
Valancy took off and hung up in the closet her nightdress of coarse,
|
||
unbleached cotton, with high neck and long, tight sleeves. She put on
|
||
undergarments of a similar nature, a dress of brown gingham, thick,
|
||
black stockings and rubber-heeled boots. Of late years she had fallen
|
||
into the habit of doing her hair with the shade of the window by the
|
||
looking-glass pulled down. The lines on her face did not show so
|
||
plainly then. But this morning she jerked the shade to the very top and
|
||
looked at herself in the leprous mirror with a passionate determination
|
||
to see herself as the world saw her.
|
||
|
||
The result was rather dreadful. Even a beauty would have found that
|
||
harsh, unsoftened side-light trying. Valancy saw straight black hair,
|
||
short and thin, always lustreless despite the fact that she gave it one
|
||
hundred strokes of the brush, neither more nor less, every night of her
|
||
life and faithfully rubbed Redfern’s Hair Vigor into the roots, more
|
||
lustreless than ever in its morning roughness; fine, straight, black
|
||
brows; a nose she had always felt was much too small even for her
|
||
small, three-cornered, white face; a small, pale mouth that always fell
|
||
open a trifle over little, pointed white teeth; a figure thin and
|
||
flat-breasted, rather below the average height. She had somehow escaped
|
||
the family high cheek-bones, and her dark-brown eyes, too soft and
|
||
shadowy to be black, had a slant that was almost Oriental. Apart from
|
||
her eyes she was neither pretty nor ugly—just insignificant-looking,
|
||
she concluded bitterly. How plain the lines around her eyes and mouth
|
||
were in that merciless light! And never had her narrow, white face
|
||
looked so narrow and so white.
|
||
|
||
She did her hair in a pompadour. Pompadours had long gone out of
|
||
fashion, but they had been in when Valancy first put her hair up and
|
||
Aunt Wellington had decided that she must always wear her hair so.
|
||
|
||
“It is the _only_ way that becomes you. Your face is so small that you
|
||
_must_ add height to it by a pompadour effect,” said Aunt Wellington,
|
||
who always enunciated commonplaces as if uttering profound and
|
||
important truths.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had hankered to do her hair pulled low on her forehead, with
|
||
puffs above the ears, as Olive was wearing hers. But Aunt Wellington’s
|
||
dictum had such an effect on her that she never dared change her style
|
||
of hairdressing again. But then, there were so many things Valancy
|
||
never dared do.
|
||
|
||
All her life she had been afraid of something, she thought bitterly.
|
||
From the very dawn of recollection, when she had been so horribly
|
||
afraid of the big black bear that lived, so Cousin Stickles told her,
|
||
in the closet under the stairs.
|
||
|
||
“And I always will be—I know it—I can’t help it. I don’t know what it
|
||
would be like not to be afraid of something.”
|
||
|
||
Afraid of her mother’s sulky fits—afraid of offending Uncle
|
||
Benjamin—afraid of becoming a target for Aunt Wellington’s
|
||
contempt—afraid of Aunt Isabel’s biting comments—afraid of Uncle James’
|
||
disapproval—afraid of offending the whole clan’s opinions and
|
||
prejudices—afraid of not keeping up appearances—afraid to say what she
|
||
really thought of anything—afraid of poverty in her old age.
|
||
Fear—fear—fear—she could never escape from it. It bound her and
|
||
enmeshed her like a spider’s web of steel. Only in her Blue Castle
|
||
could she find temporary release. And this morning Valancy could not
|
||
believe she had a Blue Castle. She would never be able to find it
|
||
again. Twenty-nine, unmarried, undesired—what had she to do with the
|
||
fairy-like chatelaine of the Blue Castle? She would cut such childish
|
||
nonsense out of her life forever and face reality unflinchingly.
|
||
|
||
She turned from her unfriendly mirror and looked out. The ugliness of
|
||
the view always struck her like a blow; the ragged fence, the
|
||
tumble-down old carriage-shop in the next lot, plastered with crude,
|
||
violently coloured advertisements; the grimy railway station beyond,
|
||
with the awful derelicts that were always hanging around it even at
|
||
this early hour. In the pouring rain everything looked worse than
|
||
usual, especially the beastly advertisement, “Keep that schoolgirl
|
||
complexion.” Valancy _had_ kept her schoolgirl complexion. That was
|
||
just the trouble. There was not a gleam of beauty anywhere—“exactly
|
||
like my life,” thought Valancy drearily. Her brief bitterness had
|
||
passed. She accepted facts as resignedly as she had always accepted
|
||
them. She was one of the people whom life always passes by. There was
|
||
no altering that fact.
|
||
|
||
In this mood Valancy went down to breakfast.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER III
|
||
|
||
|
||
Breakfast was always the same. Oatmeal porridge, which Valancy loathed,
|
||
toast and tea, and one teaspoonful of marmalade. Mrs. Frederick thought
|
||
two teaspoonfuls extravagant—but that did not matter to Valancy, who
|
||
hated marmalade, too. The chilly, gloomy little dining-room was
|
||
chillier and gloomier than usual; the rain streamed down outside the
|
||
window; departed Stirlings, in atrocious, gilt frames, wider than the
|
||
pictures, glowered down from the walls. And yet Cousin Stickles wished
|
||
Valancy many happy returns of the day!
|
||
|
||
“Sit up straight, Doss,” was all her mother said.
|
||
|
||
Valancy sat up straight. She talked to her mother and Cousin Stickles
|
||
of the things they always talked of. She never wondered what would
|
||
happen if she tried to talk of something else. She knew. Therefore she
|
||
never did it.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick was offended with Providence for sending a rainy day
|
||
when she wanted to go to a picnic, so she ate her breakfast in a sulky
|
||
silence for which Valancy was rather grateful. But Christine Stickles
|
||
whined endlessly on as usual, complaining about everything—the weather,
|
||
the leak in the pantry, the price of oatmeal and butter—Valancy felt at
|
||
once she had buttered her toast too lavishly—the epidemic of mumps in
|
||
Deerwood.
|
||
|
||
“Doss will be sure to ketch them,” she foreboded.
|
||
|
||
“Doss must not go where she is likely to catch mumps,” said Mrs.
|
||
Frederick shortly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had never had mumps—or whooping cough—or chicken-pox—or
|
||
measles—or anything she should have had—nothing but horrible colds
|
||
every winter. Doss’ winter colds were a sort of tradition in the
|
||
family. Nothing, it seemed, could prevent her from catching them. Mrs.
|
||
Frederick and Cousin Stickles did their heroic best. One winter they
|
||
kept Valancy housed up from November to May, in the warm sitting-room.
|
||
She was not even allowed to go to church. And Valancy took cold after
|
||
cold and ended up with bronchitis in June.
|
||
|
||
“None of _my_ family were ever like that,” said Mrs. Frederick,
|
||
implying that it must be a Stirling tendency.
|
||
|
||
“The Stirlings seldom take colds,” said Cousin Stickles resentfully.
|
||
_She_ had been a Stirling.
|
||
|
||
“I think,” said Mrs. Frederick, “that if a person makes up her mind
|
||
_not_ to have colds she will not _have_ colds.”
|
||
|
||
So that was the trouble. It was all Valancy’s own fault.
|
||
|
||
But on this particular morning Valancy’s unbearable grievance was that
|
||
she was called Doss. She had endured it for twenty-nine years, and all
|
||
at once she felt she could not endure it any longer. Her full name was
|
||
Valancy Jane. Valancy Jane was rather terrible, but she liked Valancy,
|
||
with its odd, out-land tang. It was always a wonder to Valancy that the
|
||
Stirlings had allowed her to be so christened. She had been told that
|
||
her maternal grandfather, old Amos Wansbarra, had chosen the name for
|
||
her. Her father had tacked on the Jane by way of civilising it, and the
|
||
whole connection got out of the difficulty by nicknaming her Doss. She
|
||
never got Valancy from any one but outsiders.
|
||
|
||
“Mother,” she said timidly, “would you mind calling me Valancy after
|
||
this? Doss seems so—so—I don’t like it.”
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick looked at her daughter in astonishment. She wore glasses
|
||
with enormously strong lenses that gave her eyes a peculiarly
|
||
disagreeable appearance.
|
||
|
||
“What is the matter with Doss?”
|
||
|
||
“It—seems so childish,” faltered Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Oh!” Mrs. Frederick had been a Wansbarra and the Wansbarra smile was
|
||
not an asset. “I see. Well, it should suit _you_ then. You are childish
|
||
enough in all conscience, my dear child.”
|
||
|
||
“I am twenty-nine,” said the dear child desperately.
|
||
|
||
“I wouldn’t proclaim it from the house-tops if I were you, dear,” said
|
||
Mrs. Frederick. “Twenty-nine! _I_ had been married nine years when I
|
||
was twenty-nine.”
|
||
|
||
“_I_ was married at seventeen,” said Cousin Stickles proudly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked at them furtively. Mrs. Frederick, except for those
|
||
terrible glasses and the hooked nose that made her look more like a
|
||
parrot than a parrot itself could look, was not ill-looking. At twenty
|
||
she might have been quite pretty. But Cousin Stickles! And yet
|
||
Christine Stickles had once been desirable in some man’s eyes. Valancy
|
||
felt that Cousin Stickles, with her broad, flat, wrinkled face, a mole
|
||
right on the end of her dumpy nose, bristling hairs on her chin,
|
||
wrinkled yellow neck, pale, protruding eyes, and thin, puckered mouth,
|
||
had yet this advantage over her—this right to look down on her. And
|
||
even yet Cousin Stickles was necessary to Mrs. Frederick. Valancy
|
||
wondered pitifully what it would be like to be wanted by some
|
||
one—needed by some one. No one in the whole world needed her, or would
|
||
miss anything from life if she dropped suddenly out of it. She was a
|
||
disappointment to her mother. No one loved her. She had never so much
|
||
as had a girl friend.
|
||
|
||
“I haven’t even a gift for friendship,” she had once admitted to
|
||
herself pitifully.
|
||
|
||
“Doss, you haven’t eaten your crusts,” said Mrs. Frederick rebukingly.
|
||
|
||
It rained all the forenoon without cessation. Valancy pieced a quilt.
|
||
Valancy hated piecing quilts. And there was no need of it. The house
|
||
was full of quilts. There were three big chests, packed with quilts, in
|
||
the attic. Mrs. Frederick had begun storing away quilts when Valancy
|
||
was seventeen and she kept on storing them, though it did not seem
|
||
likely that Valancy would ever need them. But Valancy must be at work
|
||
and fancy work materials were too expensive. Idleness was a cardinal
|
||
sin in the Stirling household. When Valancy had been a child she had
|
||
been made to write down every night, in a small, hated, black notebook,
|
||
all the minutes she had spent in idleness that day. On Sundays her
|
||
mother made her tot them up and pray over them.
|
||
|
||
On this particular forenoon of this day of destiny Valancy spent only
|
||
ten minutes in idleness. At least, Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles
|
||
would have called it idleness. She went to her room to get a better
|
||
thimble and she opened _Thistle Harvest_ guiltily at random.
|
||
|
||
“The woods are so human,” wrote John Foster, “that to know them one
|
||
must live with them. An occasional saunter through them, keeping to the
|
||
well-trodden paths, will never admit us to their intimacy. If we wish
|
||
to be friends we must seek them out and win them by frequent, reverent
|
||
visits at all hours; by morning, by noon, and by night; and at all
|
||
seasons, in spring, in summer, in autumn, in winter. Otherwise we can
|
||
never really know them and any pretence we may make to the contrary
|
||
will never impose on them. They have their own effective way of keeping
|
||
aliens at a distance and shutting their hearts to mere casual
|
||
sightseers. It is of no use to seek the woods from any motive except
|
||
sheer love of them; they will find us out at once and hide all their
|
||
sweet, old-world secrets from us. But if they know we come to them
|
||
because we love them they will be very kind to us and give us such
|
||
treasures of beauty and delight as are not bought or sold in any
|
||
market-place. For the woods, when they give at all, give unstintedly
|
||
and hold nothing back from their true worshippers. We must go to them
|
||
lovingly, humbly, patiently, watchfully, and we shall learn what
|
||
poignant loveliness lurks in the wild places and silent intervales,
|
||
lying under starshine and sunset, what cadences of unearthly music are
|
||
harped on aged pine boughs or crooned in copses of fir, what delicate
|
||
savours exhale from mosses and ferns in sunny corners or on damp
|
||
brooklands, what dreams and myths and legends of an older time haunt
|
||
them. Then the immortal heart of the woods will beat against ours and
|
||
its subtle life will steal into our veins and make us its own forever,
|
||
so that no matter where we go or how widely we wander we shall yet be
|
||
drawn back to the forest to find our most enduring kinship.”
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” called her mother from the hall below, “what are you doing all
|
||
by yourself in that room?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy dropped _Thistle Harvest_ like a hot coal and fled downstairs
|
||
to her patches; but she felt the strange exhilaration of spirit that
|
||
always came momentarily to her when she dipped into one of John
|
||
Foster’s books. Valancy did not know much about woods—except the
|
||
haunted groves of oak and pine around her Blue Castle. But she had
|
||
always secretly hankered after them and a Foster book about woods was
|
||
the next best thing to the woods themselves.
|
||
|
||
At noon it stopped raining, but the sun did not come out until three.
|
||
Then Valancy timidly said she thought she would go uptown.
|
||
|
||
“What do you want to go uptown for?” demanded her mother.
|
||
|
||
“I want to get a book from the library.”
|
||
|
||
“You got a book from the library only last week.”
|
||
|
||
“No, it was four weeks.”
|
||
|
||
“Four weeks. Nonsense!”
|
||
|
||
“Really it was, Mother.”
|
||
|
||
“You are mistaken. It cannot possibly have been more than two weeks. I
|
||
dislike contradiction. And I do not see what you want to get a book
|
||
for, anyhow. You waste too much time reading.”
|
||
|
||
“Of what value is my time?” asked Valancy bitterly.
|
||
|
||
“Doss! Don’t speak in that tone to _me_.”
|
||
|
||
“We need some tea,” said Cousin Stickles. “She might go and get that if
|
||
she wants a walk—though this damp weather is bad for colds.”
|
||
|
||
They argued the matter for ten minutes longer and finally Mrs.
|
||
Frederick agreed rather grudgingly that Valancy might go.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER IV
|
||
|
||
|
||
“Got your rubbers on?” called Cousin Stickles, as Valancy left the
|
||
house.
|
||
|
||
Christine Stickles had never once forgotten to ask that question when
|
||
Valancy went out on a damp day.
|
||
|
||
“Yes.”
|
||
|
||
“Have you got your flannel petticoat on?” asked Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“No.”
|
||
|
||
“Doss, I really do not understand you. Do you want to catch your death
|
||
of cold _again_?” Her voice implied that Valancy had died of a cold
|
||
several times already. “Go upstairs this minute and put it on!”
|
||
|
||
“Mother, I don’t _need_ a flannel petticoat. My sateen one is warm
|
||
enough.”
|
||
|
||
“Doss, remember you had bronchitis two years ago. Go and do as you are
|
||
told!”
|
||
|
||
Valancy went, though nobody will ever know just how near she came to
|
||
hurling the rubber-plant into the street before she went. She hated
|
||
that grey flannel petticoat more than any other garment she owned.
|
||
Olive never had to wear flannel petticoats. Olive wore ruffled silk and
|
||
sheer lawn and filmy laced flounces. But Olive’s father had “married
|
||
money” and Olive never had bronchitis. So there you were.
|
||
|
||
“Are you sure you didn’t leave the soap in the water?” demanded Mrs.
|
||
Frederick. But Valancy was gone. She turned at the corner and looked
|
||
back down the ugly, prim, respectable street where she lived. The
|
||
Stirling house was the ugliest on it—more like a red brick box than
|
||
anything else. Too high for its breadth, and made still higher by a
|
||
bulbous glass cupola on top. About it was the desolate, barren peace of
|
||
an old house whose life is lived.
|
||
|
||
There was a very pretty little house, with leaded casements and dubbed
|
||
gables, just around the corner—a new house, one of those houses you
|
||
love the minute you see them. Clayton Markley had built it for his
|
||
bride. He was to be married to Jennie Lloyd in June. The little house,
|
||
it was said, was furnished from attic to cellar, in complete readiness
|
||
for its mistress.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t envy Jennie the man,” thought Valancy sincerely—Clayton
|
||
Markley was not one of her many ideals—“but I _do_ envy her the house.
|
||
It’s such a nice young house. Oh, if I could only have a house of my
|
||
own—ever so poor, so tiny—but my own! But then,” she added bitterly,
|
||
“there is no use in yowling for the moon when you can’t even get a
|
||
tallow candle.”
|
||
|
||
In dreamland nothing would do Valancy but a castle of pale sapphire. In
|
||
real life she would have been fully satisfied with a little house of
|
||
her own. She envied Jennie Lloyd more fiercely than ever today. Jennie
|
||
was not so much better looking than she was, and not so very much
|
||
younger. Yet she was to have this delightful house. And the nicest
|
||
little Wedgwood teacups—Valancy had seen them; an open fireplace, and
|
||
monogrammed linen; hemstitched tablecloths, and china-closets. Why did
|
||
_everything_ come to some girls and _nothing_ to others? It wasn’t
|
||
fair.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was once more seething with rebellion as she walked along, a
|
||
prim, dowdy little figure in her shabby raincoat and three-year-old
|
||
hat, splashed occasionally by the mud of a passing motor with its
|
||
insulting shrieks. Motors were still rather a novelty in Deerwood,
|
||
though they were common in Port Lawrence, and most of the summer
|
||
residents up at Muskoka had them. In Deerwood only some of the smart
|
||
set had them; for even Deerwood was divided into sets. There was the
|
||
smart set—the intellectual set—the old-family set—of which the
|
||
Stirlings were members—the common run, and a few pariahs. Not one of
|
||
the Stirling clan had as yet condescended to a motor, though Olive was
|
||
teasing her father to have one. Valancy had never even been in a
|
||
motorcar. But she did not hanker after this. In truth, she felt rather
|
||
afraid of motorcars, especially at night. They seemed to be too much
|
||
like big purring beasts that might turn and crush you—or make some
|
||
terrible savage leap somewhere. On the steep mountain trails around her
|
||
Blue Castle only gaily caparisoned steeds might proudly pace; in real
|
||
life Valancy would have been quite contented to drive in a buggy behind
|
||
a nice horse. She got a buggy drive only when some uncle or cousin
|
||
remembered to fling her “a chance,” like a bone to a dog.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER V
|
||
|
||
|
||
Of course she must buy the tea in Uncle Benjamin’s grocery-store. To
|
||
buy it anywhere else was unthinkable. Yet Valancy hated to go to Uncle
|
||
Benjamin’s store on her twenty-ninth birthday. There was no hope that
|
||
he would not remember it.
|
||
|
||
“Why,” demanded Uncle Benjamin, leeringly, as he tied up her tea, “are
|
||
young ladies like bad grammarians?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy, with Uncle Benjamin’s will in the background of her mind, said
|
||
meekly, “I don’t know. Why?”
|
||
|
||
“Because,” chuckled Uncle Benjamin, “they can’t decline matrimony.”
|
||
|
||
The two clerks, Joe Hammond and Claude Bertram, chuckled also, and
|
||
Valancy disliked them a little more than ever. On the first day Claude
|
||
Bertram had seen her in the store she had heard him whisper to Joe,
|
||
“Who is that?” And Joe had said, “Valancy Stirling—one of the Deerwood
|
||
old maids.” “Curable or incurable?” Claude had asked with a snicker,
|
||
evidently thinking the question very clever. Valancy smarted anew with
|
||
the sting of that old recollection.
|
||
|
||
“Twenty-nine,” Uncle Benjamin was saying. “Dear me, Doss, you’re
|
||
dangerously near the second corner and not even thinking of getting
|
||
married yet. Twenty-nine. It seems impossible.”
|
||
|
||
Then Uncle Benjamin said an original thing. Uncle Benjamin said, “How
|
||
time does fly!”
|
||
|
||
“_I_ think it _crawls_,” said Valancy passionately. Passion was so
|
||
alien to Uncle Benjamin’s conception of Valancy that he didn’t know
|
||
what to make of her. To cover his confusion, he asked another conundrum
|
||
as he tied up her beans—Cousin Stickles had remembered at the last
|
||
moment that they must have beans. Beans were cheap and filling.
|
||
|
||
“What two ages are apt to prove illusory?” asked Uncle Benjamin; and,
|
||
not waiting for Valancy to “give it up,” he added, “Mir-age and
|
||
marri-age.”
|
||
|
||
“M-i-r-a-g-e is pronounced _mirazh_,” said Valancy shortly, picking up
|
||
her tea and her beans. For the moment she did not care whether Uncle
|
||
Benjamin cut her out of his will or not. She walked out of the store
|
||
while Uncle Benjamin stared after her with his mouth open. Then he
|
||
shook his head.
|
||
|
||
“Poor Doss is taking it hard,” he said.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was sorry by the time she reached the next crossing. Why had
|
||
she lost her patience like that? Uncle Benjamin would be annoyed and
|
||
would likely tell her mother that Doss had been impertinent—“to
|
||
_me_!”—and her mother would lecture her for a week.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve held my tongue for twenty years,” thought Valancy. “Why couldn’t
|
||
I have held it once more?”
|
||
|
||
Yes, it was just twenty, Valancy reflected, since she had first been
|
||
twitted with her loverless condition. She remembered the bitter moment
|
||
perfectly. She was just nine years old and she was standing alone on
|
||
the school playground while the other little girls of her class were
|
||
playing a game in which you must be chosen by a boy as his partner
|
||
before you could play. Nobody had chosen Valancy—little, pale,
|
||
black-haired Valancy, with her prim, long-sleeved apron and odd,
|
||
slanted eyes.
|
||
|
||
“Oh,” said a pretty little girl to her, “I’m so sorry for you. You
|
||
haven’t got a beau.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy had said defiantly, as she continued to say for twenty years,
|
||
“I don’t _want_ a beau.” But this afternoon Valancy once and for all
|
||
stopped saying that.
|
||
|
||
“I’m going to be honest with myself anyhow,” she thought savagely.
|
||
“Uncle Benjamin’s riddles hurt me because they are true. I _do_ want to
|
||
be married. I want a house of my own—I want a husband of my own—I want
|
||
sweet, little fat _babies_ of my own—” Valancy stopped suddenly aghast
|
||
at her own recklessness. She felt sure that Rev. Dr. Stalling, who
|
||
passed her at this moment, read her thoughts and disapproved of them
|
||
thoroughly. Valancy was afraid of Dr. Stalling—had been afraid of him
|
||
ever since the Sunday, twenty-three years before, when he had first
|
||
come to St. Albans’. Valancy had been too late for Sunday School that
|
||
day and she had gone into the church timidly and sat in their pew. No
|
||
one else was in the church—nobody except the new rector, Dr. Stalling.
|
||
Dr. Stalling stood up in front of the choir door, beckoned to her, and
|
||
said sternly, “Little boy, come up here.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy had stared around her. There was no little boy—there was no one
|
||
in all the huge church but herself. This strange man with the blue
|
||
glasses couldn’t mean her. She was not a boy.
|
||
|
||
“Little boy,” repeated Dr. Stalling, more sternly still, shaking his
|
||
forefinger fiercely at her, “come up here at once!”
|
||
|
||
Valancy arose as if hypnotised and walked up the aisle. She was too
|
||
terrified to do anything else. What dreadful thing was going to happen
|
||
to her? What _had_ happened to her? Had she actually turned into a boy?
|
||
She came to a stop in front of Dr. Stalling. Dr. Stalling shook his
|
||
forefinger—such a long, knuckly forefinger—at her and said:
|
||
|
||
“Little boy, take off your hat.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy took off her hat. She had a scrawny little pigtail hanging down
|
||
her back, but Dr. Stalling was shortsighted and did not perceive it.
|
||
|
||
“Little boy, go back to your seat and _always_ take off your hat in
|
||
church. _Remember!_”
|
||
|
||
Valancy went back to her seat carrying her hat like an automaton.
|
||
Presently her mother came in.
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” said Mrs. Stirling, “what do you mean by taking off your hat?
|
||
Put it on instantly!”
|
||
|
||
Valancy put it on instantly. She was cold with fear lest Dr. Stalling
|
||
should immediately summon her up front again. She would have to go, of
|
||
course—it never occurred to her that one could disobey the rector—and
|
||
the church was full of people now. Oh, what would she do if that
|
||
horrible, stabbing forefinger were shaken at her again before all those
|
||
people? Valancy sat through the whole service in an agony of dread and
|
||
was sick for a week afterwards. Nobody knew why—Mrs. Frederick again
|
||
bemoaned herself of her delicate child.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling found out his mistake and laughed over it to Valancy—who
|
||
did not laugh. She never got over her dread of Dr. Stalling. And now to
|
||
be caught by him on the street corner, thinking such things!
|
||
|
||
Valancy got her John Foster book—_Magic of Wings_. “His latest—all
|
||
about birds,” said Miss Clarkson. She had almost decided that she would
|
||
go home, instead of going to see Dr. Trent. Her courage had failed her.
|
||
She was afraid of offending Uncle James—afraid of angering her
|
||
mother—afraid of facing gruff, shaggy-browed old Dr. Trent, who would
|
||
probably tell her, as he had told Cousin Gladys, that her trouble was
|
||
entirely imaginary and that she only had it because she liked to have
|
||
it. No, she would not go; she would get a bottle of Redfern’s Purple
|
||
Pills instead. Redfern’s Purple Pills were the standard medicine of the
|
||
Stirling clan. Had they not cured Second Cousin Geraldine when five
|
||
doctors had given her up? Valancy always felt very sceptical concerning
|
||
the virtues of the Purple Pills; but there _might_ be something in
|
||
them; and it was easier to take them than to face Dr. Trent alone. She
|
||
would glance over the magazines in the reading-room a few minutes and
|
||
then go home.
|
||
|
||
Valancy tried to read a story, but it made her furious. On every page
|
||
was a picture of the heroine surrounded by adoring men. And here was
|
||
she, Valancy Stirling, who could not get a solitary beau! Valancy
|
||
slammed the magazine shut; she opened _Magic of Wings_. Her eyes fell
|
||
on the paragraph that changed her life.
|
||
|
||
“_Fear is the original sin_,” wrote John Foster. “_Almost all the evil
|
||
in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of
|
||
something._ It is a cold, slimy serpent coiling about you. It is
|
||
horrible to live with fear; and it is of all things degrading.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy shut _Magic of Wings_ and stood up. She would go and see Dr.
|
||
Trent.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER VI
|
||
|
||
|
||
The ordeal was not so dreadful, after all. Dr. Trent was as gruff and
|
||
abrupt as usual, but he did not tell her her ailment was imaginary. After
|
||
he had listened to her symptoms and asked a few questions and made a
|
||
quick examination, he sat for a moment looking at her quite intently.
|
||
Valancy thought he looked as if he were sorry for her. She caught her
|
||
breath for a moment. Was the trouble serious? Oh, it couldn’t be,
|
||
surely—it really hadn’t bothered her _much_—only lately it had got a
|
||
little worse.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent opened his mouth—but before he could speak the telephone at
|
||
his elbow rang sharply. He picked up the receiver. Valancy, watching
|
||
him, saw his face change suddenly as he listened,
|
||
“’Lo—yes—yes—_what_?—yes—yes”—a brief interval—“My God!”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent dropped the receiver, dashed out of the room and upstairs
|
||
without even a glance at Valancy. She heard him rushing madly about
|
||
overhead, barking out a few remarks to somebody—presumably his
|
||
housekeeper. Then he came tearing downstairs with a club bag in his
|
||
hand, snatched his hat and coat from the rack, jerked open the street
|
||
door and rushed down the street in the direction of the station.
|
||
|
||
Valancy sat alone in the little office, feeling more absolutely foolish
|
||
than she had ever felt before in her life. Foolish—and humiliated. So
|
||
this was all that had come of her heroic determination to live up to
|
||
John Foster and cast fear aside. Not only was she a failure as a
|
||
relative and non-existent as a sweetheart or friend, but she was not
|
||
even of any importance as a patient. Dr. Trent had forgotten her very
|
||
presence in his excitement over whatever message had come by the
|
||
telephone. She had gained nothing by ignoring Uncle James and flying in
|
||
the face of family tradition.
|
||
|
||
For a moment she was afraid she was going to cry. It _was_ all
|
||
so—ridiculous. Then she heard Dr. Trent’s housekeeper coming down the
|
||
stairs. Valancy rose and went to the office door.
|
||
|
||
“The doctor forgot all about me,” she said with a twisted smile.
|
||
|
||
“Well, that’s too bad,” said Mrs. Patterson sympathetically. “But it
|
||
wasn’t much wonder, poor man. That was a telegram they ’phoned over
|
||
from the Port. His son has been terribly injured in an auto accident in
|
||
Montreal. The doctor had just ten minutes to catch the train. I don’t
|
||
know what he’ll do if anything happens to Ned—he’s just bound up in the
|
||
boy. You’ll have to come again, Miss Stirling. I hope it’s nothing
|
||
serious.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, no, nothing serious,” agreed Valancy. She felt a little less
|
||
humiliated. It was no wonder poor Dr. Trent had forgotten her at such a
|
||
moment. Nevertheless, she felt very flat and discouraged as she went
|
||
down the street.
|
||
|
||
Valancy went home by the short-cut of Lover’s Lane. She did not often
|
||
go through Lover’s Lane—but it was getting near supper-time and it
|
||
would never do to be late. Lover’s Lane wound back of the village,
|
||
under great elms and maples, and deserved its name. It was hard to go
|
||
there at any time and not find some canoodling couple—or young girls in
|
||
pairs, arms intertwined, earnestly talking over their little secrets.
|
||
Valancy didn’t know which made her feel more self-conscious and
|
||
uncomfortable.
|
||
|
||
This evening she encountered both. She met Connie Hale and Kate Bayley,
|
||
in new pink organdy dresses with flowers stuck coquettishly in their
|
||
glossy, bare hair. Valancy had never had a pink dress or worn flowers
|
||
in her hair. Then she passed a young couple she didn’t know, dandering
|
||
along, oblivious to everything but themselves. The young man’s arm was
|
||
around the girl’s waist quite shamelessly. Valancy had never walked
|
||
with a man’s arm about her. She felt that she ought to be shocked—they
|
||
might leave that sort of thing for the screening twilight, at least—but
|
||
she wasn’t shocked. In another flash of desperate, stark honesty she
|
||
owned to herself that she was merely envious. When she passed them she
|
||
felt quite sure they were laughing at her—pitying her—“there’s that
|
||
queer little old maid, Valancy Stirling. They say she never had a beau
|
||
in her whole life”—Valancy fairly ran to get out of Lover’s Lane. Never
|
||
had she felt so utterly colourless and skinny and insignificant.
|
||
|
||
Just where Lover’s Lane debouched on the street, an old car was parked.
|
||
Valancy knew that car well—by sound, at least—and everybody in Deerwood
|
||
knew it. This was before the phrase “tin Lizzie” had come into
|
||
circulation—in Deerwood, at least; but if it had been known, this car
|
||
was the tinniest of Lizzies—though it was not a Ford but an old Grey
|
||
Slosson. Nothing more battered and disreputable could be imagined.
|
||
|
||
It was Barney Snaith’s car and Barney himself was just scrambling up
|
||
from under it, in overalls plastered with mud. Valancy gave him a
|
||
swift, furtive look as she hurried by. This was only the second time
|
||
she had ever seen the notorious Barney Snaith, though she had heard
|
||
enough about him in the five years that he had been living “up back” in
|
||
Muskoka. The first time had been nearly a year ago, on the Muskoka
|
||
road. He had been crawling out from under his car then, too, and he had
|
||
given her a cheerful grin as she went by—a little, whimsical grin that
|
||
gave him the look of an amused gnome. He didn’t look bad—she didn’t
|
||
believe he was bad, in spite of the wild yarns that were always being
|
||
told of him. Of course he went tearing in that terrible old Grey
|
||
Slosson through Deerwood at hours when all decent people were in
|
||
bed—often with old “Roaring Abel,” who made the night hideous with his
|
||
howls—“both of them dead drunk, my dear.” And every one knew that he
|
||
was an escaped convict and a defaulting bank clerk and a murderer in
|
||
hiding and an infidel and an illegitimate son of old Roaring Abel Gay
|
||
and the father of Roaring Abel’s illegitimate grandchild and a
|
||
counterfeiter and a forger and a few other awful things. But still
|
||
Valancy didn’t believe he was bad. Nobody with a smile like that could
|
||
be bad, no matter what he had done.
|
||
|
||
It was that night the Prince of the Blue Castle changed from a being of
|
||
grim jaw and hair with a dash of premature grey to a rakish individual
|
||
with overlong, tawny hair, dashed with red, dark-brown eyes, and ears
|
||
that stuck out just enough to give him an alert look but not enough to
|
||
be called flying jibs. But he still retained something a little grim
|
||
about the jaw.
|
||
|
||
Barney Snaith looked even more disreputable than usual just now. It was
|
||
very evident that he hadn’t shaved for days, and his hands and arms,
|
||
bare to the shoulders, were black with grease. But he was whistling
|
||
gleefully to himself and he seemed so happy that Valancy envied him.
|
||
She envied him his light-heartedness and his irresponsibility and his
|
||
mysterious little cabin up on an island in Lake Mistawis—even his
|
||
rackety old Grey Slosson. Neither he nor his car had to be respectable
|
||
and live up to traditions. When he rattled past her a few minutes
|
||
later, bareheaded, leaning back in his Lizzie at a raffish angle, his
|
||
longish hair blowing in the wind, a villainous-looking old black pipe
|
||
in his mouth, she envied him again. Men had the best of it, no doubt
|
||
about that. This outlaw was happy, whatever he was or wasn’t. She,
|
||
Valancy Stirling, respectable, well-behaved to the last degree, was
|
||
unhappy and had always been unhappy. So there you were.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was just in time for supper. The sun had clouded over, and a
|
||
dismal, drizzling rain was falling again. Cousin Stickles had the
|
||
neuralgia. Valancy had to do the family darning and there was no time
|
||
for _Magic of Wings_.
|
||
|
||
“Can’t the darning wait till tomorrow?” she pleaded.
|
||
|
||
“Tomorrow will bring its own duties,” said Mrs. Frederick inexorably.
|
||
|
||
Valancy darned all the evening and listened to Mrs. Frederick and
|
||
Cousin Stickles talking the eternal, niggling gossip of the clan, as
|
||
they knitted drearily at interminable black stockings. They discussed
|
||
Second Cousin Lilian’s approaching wedding in all its bearings. On the
|
||
whole, they approved. Second Cousin Lilian was doing well for herself.
|
||
|
||
“Though she hasn’t hurried,” said Cousin Stickles. “She must be
|
||
twenty-five.”
|
||
|
||
“There have not—fortunately—been many old maids in our connection,”
|
||
said Mrs. Frederick bitterly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy flinched. She had run the darning needle into her finger.
|
||
|
||
Third Cousin Aaron Gray had been scratched by a cat and had
|
||
blood-poisoning in his finger. “Cats are most dangerous animals,” said
|
||
Mrs. Frederick. “I would never have a cat about the house.”
|
||
|
||
She glared significantly at Valancy through her terrible glasses. Once,
|
||
five years ago, Valancy had asked if she might have a cat. She had
|
||
never referred to it since, but Mrs. Frederick still suspected her of
|
||
harbouring the unlawful desire in her heart of hearts.
|
||
|
||
Once Valancy sneezed. Now, in the Stirling code, it was very bad form
|
||
to sneeze in public.
|
||
|
||
“You can always repress a sneeze by pressing your finger on your upper
|
||
lip,” said Mrs. Frederick rebukingly.
|
||
|
||
Half-past nine o’clock and so, as Mr. Pepys would say, to bed. But
|
||
First Cousin Stickles’ neuralgic back must be rubbed with Redfern’s
|
||
Liniment. Valancy did that. Valancy always had to do it. She hated the
|
||
smell of Redfern’s Liniment—she hated the smug, beaming, portly,
|
||
be-whiskered, be-spectacled picture of Dr. Redfern on the bottle. Her
|
||
fingers smelled of the horrible stuff after she got into bed, in spite
|
||
of all the scrubbing she gave them.
|
||
|
||
Valancy’s day of destiny had come and gone. She ended it as she had
|
||
begun it, in tears.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER VII
|
||
|
||
|
||
There was a rosebush on the little Stirling lawn, growing beside the
|
||
gate. It was called “Doss’s rosebush.” Cousin Georgiana had given it to
|
||
Valancy five years ago and Valancy had planted it joyfully. She loved
|
||
roses. But—of course—the rosebush never bloomed. That was her luck.
|
||
Valancy did everything she could think of and took the advice of
|
||
everybody in the clan, but still the rosebush would not bloom. It
|
||
throve and grew luxuriantly, with great leafy branches untouched of
|
||
rust or spider; but not even a bud had ever appeared on it. Valancy,
|
||
looking at it two days after her birthday, was filled with a sudden,
|
||
overwhelming hatred for it. The thing wouldn’t bloom: very well, then,
|
||
she would cut it down. She marched to the tool-room in the barn for her
|
||
garden knife and she went at the rosebush viciously. A few minutes
|
||
later horrified Mrs. Frederick came out to the verandah and beheld her
|
||
daughter slashing insanely among the rosebush boughs. Half of them were
|
||
already strewn on the walk. The bush looked sadly dismantled.
|
||
|
||
“Doss, what on earth are you doing? Have you gone crazy?”
|
||
|
||
“No,” said Valancy. She meant to say it defiantly, but habit was too
|
||
strong for her. She said it deprecatingly. “I—I just made up my mind to
|
||
cut this bush down. It is no good. It never blooms—never will bloom.”
|
||
|
||
“That is no reason for destroying it,” said Mrs. Frederick sternly. “It
|
||
was a beautiful bush and quite ornamental. You have made a
|
||
sorry-looking thing of it.”
|
||
|
||
“Rose trees should _bloom_,” said Valancy a little obstinately.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t argue with _me_, Doss. Clear up that mess and leave the bush
|
||
alone. I don’t know what Georgiana will say when she sees how you have
|
||
hacked it to pieces. Really, I’m surprised at you. And to do it without
|
||
consulting _me_!”
|
||
|
||
“The bush is mine,” muttered Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“What’s that? What did you say, Doss?”
|
||
|
||
“I only said the bush was mine,” repeated Valancy humbly.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick turned without a word and marched back into the house.
|
||
The mischief was done now. Valancy knew she had offended her mother
|
||
deeply and would not be spoken to or noticed in any way for two or
|
||
three days. Cousin Stickles would see to Valancy’s bringing-up but Mrs.
|
||
Frederick would preserve the stony silence of outraged majesty.
|
||
|
||
Valancy sighed and put away her garden knife, hanging it precisely on
|
||
its precise nail in the tool-shop. She cleared away the severed
|
||
branches and swept up the leaves. Her lips twitched as she looked at
|
||
the straggling bush. It had an odd resemblance to its shaken, scrawny
|
||
donor, little Cousin Georgiana herself.
|
||
|
||
“I certainly have made an awful-looking thing of it,” thought Valancy.
|
||
|
||
But she did not feel repentant—only sorry she had offended her mother.
|
||
Things would be so uncomfortable until she was forgiven. Mrs. Frederick
|
||
was one of those women who can make their anger felt all over a house.
|
||
Walls and doors are no protection from it.
|
||
|
||
“You’d better go uptown and git the mail,” said Cousin Stickles, when
|
||
Valancy went in. “_I_ can’t go—I feel all sorter peaky and piny this
|
||
spring. I want you to stop at the drugstore and git me a bottle of
|
||
Redfern’s Blood Bitters. There’s nothing like Redfern’s Bitters for
|
||
building a body up. Cousin James says the Purple Pills are the best,
|
||
but I know better. My poor dear husband took Redfern’s Bitters right up
|
||
to the day he died. Don’t let them charge you more’n ninety cents. I
|
||
kin git it for that at the Port. And what _have_ you been saying to
|
||
your poor mother? Do you ever stop to think, Doss, that you kin only
|
||
have one mother?”
|
||
|
||
“One is enough for me,” thought Valancy undutifully, as she went
|
||
uptown.
|
||
|
||
She got Cousin Stickles’ bottle of bitters and then she went to the
|
||
post-office and asked for her mail at the General Delivery. Her mother
|
||
did not have a box. They got too little mail to bother with it. Valancy
|
||
did not expect any mail, except the _Christian Times_, which was the
|
||
only paper they took. They hardly ever got any letters. But Valancy
|
||
rather liked to stand in the office and watch Mr. Carewe, the
|
||
grey-bearded, Santa-Clausy old clerk, handing out letters to the lucky
|
||
people who did get them. He did it with such a detached, impersonal,
|
||
Jove-like air, as if it did not matter in the least to him what
|
||
supernal joys or shattering horrors might be in those letters for the
|
||
people to whom they were addressed. Letters had a fascination for
|
||
Valancy, perhaps because she so seldom got any. In her Blue Castle
|
||
exciting epistles, bound with silk and sealed with crimson, were always
|
||
being brought to her by pages in livery of gold and blue, but in real
|
||
life her only letters were occasional perfunctory notes from relatives
|
||
or an advertising circular.
|
||
|
||
Consequently she was immensely surprised when Mr. Carewe, looking even
|
||
more Jovian than usual, poked a letter out to her. Yes, it was
|
||
addressed to her plainly, in a fierce, black hand: “Miss Valancy
|
||
Stirling, Elm Street, Deerwood”—and the postmark was Montreal. Valancy
|
||
picked it up with a little quickening of her breath. Montreal! It must
|
||
be from Doctor Trent. He had remembered her, after all.
|
||
|
||
Valancy met Uncle Benjamin coming in as she was going out and was glad
|
||
the letter was safely in her bag.
|
||
|
||
“What,” said Uncle Benjamin, “is the difference between a donkey and a
|
||
postage-stamp?”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know. What?” answered Valancy dutifully.
|
||
|
||
“One you lick with a stick and the other you stick with a lick. Ha,
|
||
ha!”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin passed in, tremendously pleased with himself.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Stickles pounced on the _Times_ when Valancy got home, but it
|
||
did not occur to her to ask if there were any letters. Mrs. Frederick
|
||
would have asked it, but Mrs. Frederick’s lips at present were sealed.
|
||
Valancy was glad of this. If her mother had asked if there were any
|
||
letters Valancy would have had to admit there was. Then she would have
|
||
had to let her mother and Cousin Stickles read the letter and all would
|
||
be discovered.
|
||
|
||
Her heart acted strangely on the way upstairs, and she sat down by her
|
||
window for a few minutes before opening her letter. She felt very
|
||
guilty and deceitful. She had never before kept a letter secret from
|
||
her mother. Every letter she had ever written or received had been read
|
||
by Mrs. Frederick. That had never mattered. Valancy had never had
|
||
anything to hide. But this _did_ matter. She could not have any one see
|
||
this letter. But her fingers trembled with a consciousness of
|
||
wickedness and unfilial conduct as she opened it—trembled a little,
|
||
too, perhaps, with apprehension. She felt quite sure there was nothing
|
||
seriously wrong with her heart but—one never knew.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent’s letter was like himself—blunt, abrupt, concise, wasting no
|
||
words. Dr. Trent never beat about the bush. “Dear Miss Sterling”—and
|
||
then a page of black, positive writing. Valancy seemed to read it at a
|
||
glance; she dropped it on her lap, her face ghost-white.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent told her that she had a very dangerous and fatal form of
|
||
heart disease—angina pectoris—evidently complicated with an
|
||
aneurism—whatever that was—and in the last stages. He said, without
|
||
mincing matters, that nothing could be done for her. If she took great
|
||
care of herself she might live a year—but she might also die at any
|
||
moment—Dr. Trent never troubled himself about euphemisms. She must be
|
||
careful to avoid all excitement and all severe muscular efforts. She
|
||
must eat and drink moderately, she must never run, she must go upstairs
|
||
and uphill with great care. Any sudden jolt or shock might be fatal.
|
||
She was to get the prescription he enclosed filled and carry it with
|
||
her always, taking a dose whenever her attacks came on. And he was hers
|
||
truly, H. B. Trent.
|
||
|
||
Valancy sat for a long while by her window. Outside was a world drowned
|
||
in the light of a spring afternoon—skies entrancingly blue, winds
|
||
perfumed and free, lovely, soft, blue hazes at the end of every street.
|
||
Over at the railway station a group of young girls was waiting for a
|
||
train; she heard their gay laughter as they chattered and joked. The
|
||
train roared in and roared out again. But none of these things had any
|
||
reality. Nothing had any reality except the fact that she had only
|
||
another year to live.
|
||
|
||
When she was tired of sitting at the window she went over and lay down
|
||
on her bed, staring at the cracked, discoloured ceiling. The curious
|
||
numbness that follows on a staggering blow possessed her. She did not
|
||
feel anything except a boundless surprise and incredulity—behind which
|
||
was the conviction that Dr. Trent knew his business and that she,
|
||
Valancy Stirling, who had never lived, was about to die.
|
||
|
||
When the gong rang for supper Valancy got up and went downstairs
|
||
mechanically, from force of habit. She wondered that she had been let
|
||
alone so long. But of course her mother would not pay any attention to
|
||
her just now. Valancy was thankful for this. She thought the quarrel
|
||
over the rosebush had been really, as Mrs. Frederick herself might have
|
||
said, Providential. She could not eat anything, but both Mrs. Frederick
|
||
and Cousin Stickles thought this was because she was deservedly unhappy
|
||
over her mother’s attitude, and her lack of appetite was not commented
|
||
on. Valancy forced herself to swallow a cup of tea and then sat and
|
||
watched the others eat, with an odd feeling that years had passed since
|
||
she had sat with them at the dinner-table. She found herself smiling
|
||
inwardly to think what a commotion she could make if she chose. Let her
|
||
merely tell them what was in Dr. Trent’s letter and there would be as
|
||
much fuss made as if—Valancy thought bitterly—they really cared two
|
||
straws about her.
|
||
|
||
“Dr. Trent’s housekeeper got word from him today,” said Cousin
|
||
Stickles, so suddenly that Valancy jumped guiltily. Was there anything
|
||
in thought waves? “Mrs. Judd was talking to her uptown. They think his
|
||
son will recover, but Dr. Trent wrote that if he did he was going to
|
||
take him abroad as soon as he was able to travel and wouldn’t be back
|
||
here for a year at least.”
|
||
|
||
“That will not matter much to _us_,” said Mrs. Frederick majestically.
|
||
“He is not _our_ doctor. I would not”—here she looked or seemed to look
|
||
accusingly right through Valancy—“have _him_ to doctor a sick cat.”
|
||
|
||
“May I go upstairs and lie down?” said Valancy faintly. “I—I have a
|
||
headache.”
|
||
|
||
“What has given you a headache?” asked Cousin Stickles, since Mrs.
|
||
Frederick would not. The question had to be asked. Valancy could not be
|
||
allowed to have headaches without interference.
|
||
|
||
“You ain’t in the habit of having headaches. I hope you’re not taking
|
||
the mumps. Here, try a spoonful of vinegar.”
|
||
|
||
“Piffle!” said Valancy rudely, getting up from the table. She did not
|
||
care just then if she were rude. She had had to be so polite all her
|
||
life.
|
||
|
||
If it had been possible for Cousin Stickles to turn pale she would
|
||
have. As it was not, she turned yellower.
|
||
|
||
“Are you sure you ain’t feverish, Doss? You sound like it. You go and
|
||
get right into bed,” said Cousin Stickles, thoroughly alarmed, “and
|
||
I’ll come up and rub your forehead and the back of your neck with
|
||
Redfern’s Liniment.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy had reached the door, but she turned. “I won’t be rubbed with
|
||
Redfern’s Liniment!” she said.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Stickles stared and gasped. “What—what do you mean?”
|
||
|
||
“I said I wouldn’t be rubbed with Redfern’s Liniment,” repeated
|
||
Valancy. “Horrid, sticky stuff! And it has the vilest smell of any
|
||
liniment I ever saw. It’s no good. I want to be left alone, that’s
|
||
all.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy went out, leaving Cousin Stickles aghast.
|
||
|
||
“She’s feverish—she _must_ be feverish,” ejaculated Cousin Stickles.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick went on eating her supper. It did not matter whether
|
||
Valancy was or was not feverish. Valancy had been guilty of
|
||
impertinence to _her_.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER VIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy did not sleep that night. She lay awake all through the long
|
||
dark hours—thinking—thinking. She made a discovery that surprised her:
|
||
she, who had been afraid of almost everything in life, was not afraid
|
||
of death. It did not seem in the least terrible to her. And she need
|
||
not now be afraid of anything else. Why had she been afraid of things?
|
||
Because of life. Afraid of Uncle Benjamin because of the menace of
|
||
poverty in old age. But now she would never be old—neglected—tolerated.
|
||
Afraid of being an old maid all her life. But now she would not be an
|
||
old maid very long. Afraid of offending her mother and her clan because
|
||
she had to live with and among them and couldn’t live peaceably if she
|
||
didn’t give in to them. But now she hadn’t. Valancy felt a curious
|
||
freedom.
|
||
|
||
But she was still horribly afraid of one thing—the fuss the whole
|
||
jamfry of them would make when she told them. Valancy shuddered at the
|
||
thought of it. She couldn’t endure it. Oh, she knew so well how it
|
||
would be. First there would be indignation—yes, indignation on the part
|
||
of Uncle James because she had gone to a doctor—any doctor—without
|
||
consulting HIM. Indignation on the part of her mother for being so sly
|
||
and deceitful—“to your own mother, Doss.” Indignation on the part of
|
||
the whole clan because she had not gone to Dr. Marsh.
|
||
|
||
Then would come the solicitude. She would be taken to Dr. Marsh, and
|
||
when Dr. Marsh confirmed Dr. Trent’s diagnosis she would be taken to
|
||
specialists in Toronto and Montreal. Uncle Benjamin would foot the bill
|
||
with a splendid gesture of munificence in thus assisting the widow and
|
||
orphan, and talk forever after of the shocking fees specialists charged
|
||
for looking wise and saying they couldn’t do anything. And when the
|
||
specialists could do nothing for her Uncle James would insist on her
|
||
taking Purple Pills—“I’ve known them to effect a cure when _all_ the
|
||
doctors had given up”—and her mother would insist on Redfern’s Blood
|
||
Bitters, and Cousin Stickles would insist on rubbing her over the heart
|
||
every night with Redfern’s Liniment on the grounds that it _might_ do
|
||
good and _couldn’t_ do harm; and everybody else would have some pet
|
||
dope for her to take. Dr. Stalling would come to her and say solemnly,
|
||
“You are very ill. Are you prepared for what may be before you?”—almost
|
||
as if he were going to shake his forefinger at her, the forefinger that
|
||
had not grown any shorter or less knobbly with age. And she would be
|
||
watched and checked like a baby and never let do anything or go
|
||
anywhere alone. Perhaps she would not even be allowed to sleep alone
|
||
lest she die in her sleep. Cousin Stickles or her mother would insist
|
||
on sharing her room and bed. Yes, undoubtedly they would.
|
||
|
||
It was this last thought that really decided Valancy. She could not put
|
||
up with it and she wouldn’t. As the clock in the hall below struck
|
||
twelve Valancy suddenly and definitely made up her mind that she would
|
||
not tell anybody. She had always been told, ever since she could
|
||
remember, that she must hide her feelings. “It is not ladylike to have
|
||
feelings,” Cousin Stickles had once told her disapprovingly. Well, she
|
||
would hide them with a vengeance.
|
||
|
||
But though she was not afraid of death she was not indifferent to it.
|
||
She found that she _resented_ it; it was not fair that she should have
|
||
to die when she had never lived. Rebellion flamed up in her soul as the
|
||
dark hours passed by—not because she had no future but because she had
|
||
no past.
|
||
|
||
“I’m poor—I’m ugly—I’m a failure—and I’m near death,” she thought. She
|
||
could see her own obituary notice in the Deerwood _Weekly Times_,
|
||
copied into the Port Lawrence _Journal_. “A deep gloom was cast over
|
||
Deerwood, etc., etc.”—“leaves a large circle of friends to mourn, etc.,
|
||
etc., etc.”—lies, all lies. Gloom, forsooth! Nobody would miss her. Her
|
||
death would not matter a straw to anybody. Not even her mother loved
|
||
her—her mother who had been so disappointed that she was not a boy—or
|
||
at least, a pretty girl.
|
||
|
||
Valancy reviewed her whole life between midnight and the early spring
|
||
dawn. It was a very drab existence, but here and there an incident
|
||
loomed out with a significance out of all proportion to its real
|
||
importance. These incidents were all unpleasant in one way or another.
|
||
Nothing really pleasant had ever happened to Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve never had one wholly happy hour in my life—not one,” she thought.
|
||
“I’ve just been a colourless nonentity. I remember reading somewhere
|
||
once that there is an hour in which a woman might be happy all her life
|
||
if she could but find it. I’ve never found my hour—never, never. And I
|
||
never will now. If I could only have had that hour I’d be willing to
|
||
die.”
|
||
|
||
Those significant incidents kept bobbing up in her mind like unbidden
|
||
ghosts, without any sequence of time or place. For instance, that time
|
||
when, at sixteen, she had blued a tubful of clothes too deeply. And the
|
||
time when, at eight, she had “stolen” some raspberry jam from Aunt
|
||
Wellington’s pantry. Valancy never heard the last of those two
|
||
misdemeanours. At almost every clan gathering they were raked up
|
||
against her as jokes. Uncle Benjamin hardly ever missed re-telling the
|
||
raspberry jam incident—he had been the one to catch her, her face all
|
||
stained and streaked.
|
||
|
||
“I have really done so few bad things that they have to keep harping on
|
||
the old ones,” thought Valancy. “Why, I’ve never even had a quarrel
|
||
with any one. I haven’t an enemy. What a spineless thing I must be not
|
||
to have even one enemy!”
|
||
|
||
There was that incident of the dust-pile at school when she was seven.
|
||
Valancy always recalled it when Dr. Stalling referred to the text, “To
|
||
him that hath shall be given and from him that hath not shall be taken
|
||
even that which he hath.” Other people might puzzle over that text but
|
||
it never puzzled Valancy. The whole relationship between herself and
|
||
Olive, dating from the day of the dust-pile, was a commentary on it.
|
||
|
||
She had been going to school a year, but Olive, who was a year younger,
|
||
had just begun and had about her all the glamour of “a new girl” and an
|
||
exceedingly pretty girl at that. It was at recess and all the girls,
|
||
big and little, were out on the road in front of the school making
|
||
dust-piles. The aim of each girl was to have the biggest pile. Valancy
|
||
was good at making dust-piles—there was an art in it—and she had secret
|
||
hopes of leading. But Olive, working off by herself, was suddenly
|
||
discovered to have a larger dust-pile than anybody. Valancy felt no
|
||
jealousy. Her dust-pile was quite big enough to please her. Then one of
|
||
the older girls had an inspiration.
|
||
|
||
“Let’s put all our dust on Olive’s pile and make a tremendous one,” she
|
||
exclaimed.
|
||
|
||
A frenzy seemed to seize the girls. They swooped down on the dust-piles
|
||
with pails and shovels and in a few seconds Olive’s pile was a
|
||
veritable pyramid. In vain Valancy, with scrawny, outstretched little
|
||
arms, tried to protect hers. She was ruthlessly swept aside, her
|
||
dust-pile scooped up and poured on Olive’s. Valancy turned away
|
||
resolutely and began building another dust-pile. Again a bigger girl
|
||
pounced on it. Valancy stood before it, flushed, indignant, arms
|
||
outspread.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t take it,” she pleaded. “Please don’t take it.”
|
||
|
||
“But _why_?” demanded the older girl. “Why won’t you help to build
|
||
Olive’s bigger?”
|
||
|
||
“I want my own little dust-pile,” said Valancy piteously.
|
||
|
||
Her plea went unheeded. While she argued with one girl another scraped
|
||
up her dust-pile. Valancy turned away, her heart swelling, her eyes
|
||
full of tears.
|
||
|
||
“Jealous—you’re jealous!” said the girls mockingly.
|
||
|
||
“You were very selfish,” said her mother coldly, when Valancy told her
|
||
about it at night. That was the first and last time Valancy had ever
|
||
taken any of her troubles to her mother.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was neither jealous nor selfish. It was only that she wanted a
|
||
dust-pile of her own—small or big mattered not. A team of horses came
|
||
down the street—Olive’s dust pile was scattered over the roadway—the
|
||
bell rang—the girls trooped into school and had forgotten the whole
|
||
affair before they reached their seats. Valancy never forgot it. To
|
||
this day she resented it in her secret soul. But was it not symbolical
|
||
of her life?
|
||
|
||
“I’ve never been able to have my own dust-pile,” thought Valancy.
|
||
|
||
The enormous red moon she had seen rising right at the end of the
|
||
street one autumn evening of her sixth year. She had been sick and cold
|
||
with the awful, uncanny horror of it. So near to her. So big. She had
|
||
run in trembling to her mother and her mother had laughed at her. She
|
||
had gone to bed and hidden her face under the clothes in terror lest
|
||
she might look at the window and see that horrible moon glaring in at
|
||
her through it.
|
||
|
||
The boy who had tried to kiss her at a party when she was fifteen. She
|
||
had not let him—she had evaded him and run. He was the only boy who had
|
||
ever tried to kiss her. Now, fourteen years later, Valancy found
|
||
herself wishing that she had let him.
|
||
|
||
The time she had been made to apologise to Olive for something she
|
||
hadn’t done. Olive had said that Valancy had pushed her into the mud
|
||
and spoiled her new shoes _on purpose_. Valancy knew she hadn’t. It had
|
||
been an accident—and even that wasn’t her fault—but nobody would
|
||
believe her. She had to apologise—and kiss Olive to “make up.” The
|
||
injustice of it burned in her soul tonight.
|
||
|
||
That summer when Olive had the most beautiful hat, trimmed with creamy
|
||
yellow net, with a wreath of red roses and little ribbon bows under the
|
||
chin. Valancy had wanted a hat like that more than she had ever wanted
|
||
anything. She pleaded for one and had been laughed at—all summer she
|
||
had to wear a horrid little brown sailor with elastic that cut behind
|
||
her ears. None of the girls would go around with her because she was so
|
||
shabby—nobody but Olive. People had thought Olive so sweet and
|
||
unselfish.
|
||
|
||
“I was an excellent foil for her,” thought Valancy. “Even then she knew
|
||
that.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy had tried to win a prize for attendance in Sunday School once.
|
||
But Olive won it. There were so many Sundays Valancy had to stay home
|
||
because she had colds. She had once tried to “say a piece” in school
|
||
one Friday afternoon and had broken down in it. Olive was a good
|
||
reciter and never got stuck.
|
||
|
||
The night she had spent in Port Lawrence with Aunt Isabel when she was
|
||
ten. Byron Stirling was there; from Montreal, twelve years old,
|
||
conceited, clever. At family prayers in the morning Byron had reached
|
||
across and given Valancy’s thin arm such a savage pinch that she
|
||
screamed out with pain. After prayers were over she was summoned to
|
||
Aunt Isabel’s bar of judgment. But when she said Byron had pinched her
|
||
Byron denied it. He said she cried out because the kitten scratched
|
||
her. He said she had put the kitten up on her chair and was playing
|
||
with it when she should have been listening to Uncle David’s prayer. He
|
||
was _believed_. In the Stirling clan the boys were always believed
|
||
before the girls. Valancy was sent home in disgrace because of her
|
||
exceedingly bad behavior during family prayers and she was not asked to
|
||
Aunt Isabel’s again for many moons.
|
||
|
||
The time Cousin Betty Stirling was married. Somehow Valancy got wind of
|
||
the fact that Betty was going to ask her to be one of her bridesmaids.
|
||
Valancy was secretly uplifted. It would be a delightful thing to be a
|
||
bridesmaid. And of course she would have to have a new dress for it—a
|
||
pretty new dress—a pink dress. Betty wanted her bridesmaids to dress in
|
||
pink.
|
||
|
||
But Betty had never asked her, after all. Valancy couldn’t guess why,
|
||
but long after her secret tears of disappointment had been dried Olive
|
||
told her. Betty, after much consultation and reflection, had decided
|
||
that Valancy was too insignificant—she would “spoil the effect.” That
|
||
was nine years ago. But tonight Valancy caught her breath with the old
|
||
pain and sting of it.
|
||
|
||
That day in her eleventh year when her mother had badgered her into
|
||
confessing something she had never done. Valancy had denied it for a
|
||
long time but eventually for peace’ sake she had given in and pleaded
|
||
guilty. Mrs. Frederick was always making people lie by pushing them
|
||
into situations where they _had_ to lie. Then her mother had made her
|
||
kneel down on the parlour floor, between herself and Cousin Stickles,
|
||
and say, “O God, please forgive me for not speaking the truth.” Valancy
|
||
had said it, but as she rose from her knees she muttered, “But, O God,
|
||
_you_ know I did speak the truth.” Valancy had not then heard of
|
||
Galileo but her fate was similar to his. She was punished just as
|
||
severely as if she hadn’t confessed and prayed.
|
||
|
||
The winter she went to dancing-school. Uncle James had decreed she
|
||
should go and had paid for her lessons. How she had looked forward to
|
||
it! And how she had hated it! She had never had a voluntary partner.
|
||
The teacher always had to tell some boy to dance with her, and
|
||
generally he had been sulky about it. Yet Valancy was a good dancer, as
|
||
light on her feet as thistledown. Olive, who never lacked eager
|
||
partners, was heavy.
|
||
|
||
The affair of the button-string, when she was ten. All the girls in
|
||
school had button-strings. Olive had a very long one with a great many
|
||
beautiful buttons. Valancy had one. Most of the buttons on it were very
|
||
commonplace, but she had six beauties that had come off Grandmother
|
||
Stirling’s wedding-gown—sparkling buttons of gold and glass, much more
|
||
beautiful than any Olive had. Their possession conferred a certain
|
||
distinction on Valancy. She knew every little girl in school envied her
|
||
the exclusive possession of those beautiful buttons. When Olive saw
|
||
them on the button-string she had looked at them narrowly but said
|
||
nothing—then. The next day Aunt Wellington had come to Elm Street and
|
||
told Mrs. Frederick that she thought Olive should have some of those
|
||
buttons—Grandmother Stirling was just as much Wellington’s mother as
|
||
Frederick’s. Mrs. Frederick had agreed amiably. She could not afford to
|
||
fall out with Aunt Wellington. Moreover, the matter was of no
|
||
importance whatever. Aunt Wellington carried off four of the buttons,
|
||
generously leaving two for Valancy. Valancy had torn these from her
|
||
string and flung them on the floor—she had not yet learned that it was
|
||
unladylike to have feelings—and had been sent supperless to bed for the
|
||
exhibition.
|
||
|
||
The night of Margaret Blunt’s party. She had made such pathetic efforts
|
||
to be pretty that night. Rob Walker was to be there; and two nights
|
||
before, on the moonlit verandah of Uncle Herbert’s cottage at Mistawis,
|
||
Rob had really seemed attracted to her. At Margaret’s party Rob never
|
||
even asked her to dance—did not notice her at all. She was a
|
||
wallflower, as usual. That, of course, was years ago. People in
|
||
Deerwood had long since given up inviting Valancy to dances. But to
|
||
Valancy its humiliation and disappointment were of the other day. Her
|
||
face burned in the darkness as she recalled herself, sitting there with
|
||
her pitifully crimped, thin hair and the cheeks she had pinched for an
|
||
hour before coming, in an effort to make them red. All that came of it
|
||
was a wild story that Valancy Stirling was rouged at Margaret Blunt’s
|
||
party. In those days in Deerwood that was enough to wreck your
|
||
character forever. It did not wreck Valancy’s, or even damage it.
|
||
People knew _she_ couldn’t be fast if she tried. They only laughed at
|
||
her.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve had nothing but a second-hand existence,” decided Valancy. “All
|
||
the great emotions of life have passed me by. I’ve never even had a
|
||
grief. And have I ever really loved anybody? Do I really love Mother?
|
||
No, I don’t. That’s the truth, whether it is disgraceful or not. I
|
||
don’t love her—I’ve never loved her. What’s worse, I don’t even like
|
||
her. So I don’t know anything about any kind of love. My life has been
|
||
empty—empty. Nothing is worse than emptiness. Nothing!” Valancy
|
||
ejaculated the last “nothing” aloud passionately. Then she moaned and
|
||
stopped thinking about anything for a while. One of her attacks of pain
|
||
had come on.
|
||
|
||
When it was over something had happened to Valancy—perhaps the
|
||
culmination of the process that had been going on in her mind ever
|
||
since she had read Dr. Trent’s letter. It was three o’clock in the
|
||
morning—the wisest and most accursed hour of the clock. But sometimes
|
||
it sets us free.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve been trying to please other people all my life and failed,” she
|
||
said. “After this I shall please myself. I shall never pretend anything
|
||
again. I’ve breathed an atmosphere of fibs and pretences and evasions
|
||
all my life. What a luxury it will be to tell the truth! I may not be
|
||
able to do much that I want to do but I won’t do another thing that I
|
||
don’t want to do. Mother can pout for weeks—I shan’t worry over it.
|
||
‘Despair is a free man—hope is a slave.’”
|
||
|
||
Valancy got up and dressed, with a deepening of that curious sense of
|
||
freedom. When she had finished with her hair she opened the window and
|
||
hurled the jar of potpourri over into the next lot. It smashed
|
||
gloriously against the schoolgirl complexion on the old carriage-shop.
|
||
|
||
“I’m sick of the fragrance of dead things,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER IX
|
||
|
||
|
||
Uncle Herbert and Aunt Alberta’s silver wedding was delicately referred
|
||
to among the Stirlings during the following weeks as “the time we first
|
||
noticed poor Valancy was—a little—_you_ understand?”
|
||
|
||
Not for worlds would any of the Stirlings have said out and out at
|
||
first that Valancy had gone mildly insane or even that her mind was
|
||
slightly deranged. Uncle Benjamin was considered to have gone entirely
|
||
too far when he had ejaculated, “She’s dippy—I tell you, she’s dippy,”
|
||
and was only excused because of the outrageousness of Valancy’s conduct
|
||
at the aforesaid wedding dinner.
|
||
|
||
But Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles had noticed a few things that
|
||
made them uneasy _before_ the dinner. It had begun with the rosebush,
|
||
of course; and Valancy never was really “quite right” again. She did
|
||
not seem to worry in the least over the fact that her mother was not
|
||
speaking to her. You would never suppose she noticed it at all. She had
|
||
flatly refused to take either Purple Pills or Redfern’s Bitters. She
|
||
had announced coolly that she did not intend to answer to the name of
|
||
“Doss” any longer. She had told Cousin Stickles that she wished she
|
||
would give up wearing that brooch with Cousin Artemas Stickles’ hair in
|
||
it. She had moved her bed in her room to the opposite corner. She had
|
||
read _Magic of Wings_ Sunday afternoon. When Cousin Stickles had
|
||
rebuked her Valancy had said indifferently, “Oh, I forgot it was
|
||
Sunday”—and _had gone on reading it_.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Stickles had seen a terrible thing—she had caught Valancy
|
||
sliding down the bannister. Cousin Stickles did not tell Mrs. Frederick
|
||
this—poor Amelia was worried enough as it was. But it was Valancy’s
|
||
announcement on Saturday night that she was not going to go to the
|
||
Anglican church any more that broke through Mrs. Frederick’s stony
|
||
silence.
|
||
|
||
“Not going to church any more! Doss, have you absolutely taken leave——”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I’m going to church,” said Valancy airily. “I’m going to the
|
||
Presbyterian church. But to the Anglican church I will not go.”
|
||
|
||
This was even worse. Mrs. Frederick had recourse to tears, having found
|
||
outraged majesty had ceased to be effective.
|
||
|
||
“What have you got against the Anglican church?” she sobbed.
|
||
|
||
“Nothing—only just that you’ve always made me go there. If you’d made
|
||
me go to the Presbyterian church I’d want to go to the Anglican.”
|
||
|
||
“Is that a nice thing to say to your mother? Oh, how true it is that it
|
||
is sharper than a serpent’s tooth to have a thankless child.”
|
||
|
||
“Is that a nice thing to say to your daughter?” said unrepentant
|
||
Valancy.
|
||
|
||
So Valancy’s behaviour at the silver wedding was not quite the surprise
|
||
to Mrs. Frederick and Christine Stickles that it was to the rest. They
|
||
were doubtful about the wisdom of taking her, but concluded it would
|
||
“make talk” if they didn’t. Perhaps she would behave herself, and so
|
||
far no outsider suspected there was anything queer about her. By a
|
||
special mercy of Providence it had poured torrents Sunday morning, so
|
||
Valancy had not carried out her hideous threat of going to the
|
||
Presbyterian church.
|
||
|
||
Valancy would not have cared in the least if they had left her at home.
|
||
These family celebrations were all hopelessly dull. But the Stirlings
|
||
always celebrated everything. It was a long-established custom. Even
|
||
Mrs. Frederick gave a dinner party on her wedding anniversary and
|
||
Cousin Stickles had friends in to supper on her birthday. Valancy hated
|
||
these entertainments because they had to pinch and save and contrive
|
||
for weeks afterwards to pay for them. But she wanted to go to the
|
||
silver wedding. It would hurt Uncle Herbert’s feelings if she stayed
|
||
away, and she rather liked Uncle Herbert. Besides, she wanted to look
|
||
over all her relatives from her new angle. It would be an excellent
|
||
place to make public her declaration of independence if occasion
|
||
offered.
|
||
|
||
“Put on your brown silk dress,” said Mrs. Stirling.
|
||
|
||
As if there were anything else to put on! Valancy had only the one
|
||
festive dress—that snuffy-brown silk Aunt Isabel had given her. Aunt
|
||
Isabel had decreed that Valancy should never wear colours. They did not
|
||
become her. When she was young they allowed her to wear white, but that
|
||
had been tacitly dropped for some years. Valancy put on the brown silk.
|
||
It had a high collar and long sleeves. She had never had a dress with
|
||
low neck and elbow sleeves, although they had been worn, even in
|
||
Deerwood, for over a year. But she did not do her hair pompadour. She
|
||
knotted it on her neck and pulled it out over her ears. She thought it
|
||
became her—only the little knot was so absurdly small. Mrs. Frederick
|
||
resented the hair but decided it was wisest to say nothing on the eve
|
||
of the party. It was so important that Valancy should be kept in good
|
||
humour, if possible, until it was over. Mrs. Frederick did not reflect
|
||
that this was the first time in her life that she had thought it
|
||
necessary to consider Valancy’s humours. But then Valancy had never
|
||
been “queer” before.
|
||
|
||
On their way to Uncle Herbert’s—Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles
|
||
walking in front, Valancy trotting meekly along behind—Roaring Abel
|
||
drove past them. Drunk as usual but not in the roaring stage. Just
|
||
drunk enough to be excessively polite. He raised his disreputable old
|
||
tartan cap with the air of a monarch saluting his subjects and swept
|
||
them a grand bow. Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles dared not cut
|
||
Roaring Abel altogether. He was the only person in Deerwood who could
|
||
be got to do odd jobs of carpentering and repairing when they needed to
|
||
be done, so it would not do to offend him. But they responded with only
|
||
the stiffest, slightest of bows. Roaring Abel must be kept in his
|
||
place.
|
||
|
||
Valancy, behind them, did a thing they were fortunately spared seeing.
|
||
She smiled gaily and waved her hand to Roaring Abel. Why not? She had
|
||
always liked the old sinner. He was such a jolly, picturesque,
|
||
unashamed reprobate and stood out against the drab respectability of
|
||
Deerwood and its customs like a flame-red flag of revolt and protest.
|
||
Only a few nights ago Abel had gone through Deerwood in the wee sma’s,
|
||
shouting oaths at the top of his stentorian voice which could be heard
|
||
for miles, and lashing his horse into a furious gallop as he tore along
|
||
prim, proper Elm Street.
|
||
|
||
“Yelling and blaspheming like a fiend,” shuddered Cousin Stickles at
|
||
the breakfast-table.
|
||
|
||
“I cannot understand why the judgment of the Lord has not fallen upon
|
||
that man long ere this,” said Mrs. Frederick petulantly, as if she
|
||
thought Providence was very dilatory and ought to have a gentle
|
||
reminder.
|
||
|
||
“He’ll be picked up dead some morning—he’ll fall under his horse’s
|
||
hoofs and be trampled to death,” said Cousin Stickles reassuringly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had said nothing, of course; but she wondered to herself if
|
||
Roaring Abel’s periodical sprees were not his futile protest against
|
||
the poverty and drudgery and monotony of his existence. _She_ went on
|
||
dream sprees in her Blue Castle. Roaring Abel, having no imagination,
|
||
could not do that. _His_ escapes from reality had to be concrete. So
|
||
she waved at him today with a sudden fellow feeling, and Roaring Abel,
|
||
not too drunk to be astonished, nearly fell off his seat in his
|
||
amazement.
|
||
|
||
By this time they had reached Maple Avenue and Uncle Herbert’s house, a
|
||
large, pretentious structure peppered with meaningless bay windows and
|
||
excrescent porches. A house that always looked like a stupid,
|
||
prosperous, self-satisfied man with warts on his face.
|
||
|
||
“A house like that,” said Valancy solemnly, “is a blasphemy.”
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick was shaken to her soul. What had Valancy said? Was it
|
||
profane? Or only just queer? Mrs. Frederick took off her hat in Aunt
|
||
Alberta’s spare-room with trembling hands. She made one more feeble
|
||
attempt to avert disaster. She held Valancy back on the landing as
|
||
Cousin Stickles went downstairs.
|
||
|
||
“Won’t you try to remember you’re a lady?” she pleaded.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, if there were only any hope of being able to forget it!” said
|
||
Valancy wearily.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick felt that she had not deserved this from Providence.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER X
|
||
|
||
|
||
“Bless this food to our use and consecrate our lives to Thy service,”
|
||
said Uncle Herbert briskly.
|
||
|
||
Aunt Wellington frowned. She always considered Herbert’s graces
|
||
entirely too short and “flippant.” A grace, to be a grace in Aunt
|
||
Wellington’s eyes, had to be at least three minutes long and uttered in
|
||
an unearthly tone, between a groan and a chant. As a protest she kept
|
||
her head bent a perceptible time after all the rest had been lifted.
|
||
When she permitted herself to sit upright she found Valancy looking at
|
||
her. Ever afterwards Aunt Wellington averred that she had known from
|
||
that moment that there was something wrong with Valancy. In those
|
||
queer, slanted eyes of hers—“we should always have known she was not
|
||
entirely _right_ with eyes like that”—there was an odd gleam of mockery
|
||
and amusement—as if Valancy were laughing at _her_. Such a thing was
|
||
unthinkable, of course. Aunt Wellington at once ceased to think it.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was enjoying herself. She had never enjoyed herself at a
|
||
“family reunion” before. In social functions, as in childish games, she
|
||
had only “filled in.” Her clan had always considered her very dull. She
|
||
had no parlour tricks. And she had been in the habit of taking refuge
|
||
from the boredom of family parties in her Blue Castle, which resulted
|
||
in an absent-mindedness that increased her reputation for dulness and
|
||
vacuity.
|
||
|
||
“She has no social presence whatever,” Aunt Wellington had decreed once
|
||
and for all. Nobody dreamed that Valancy was dumb in their presence
|
||
merely because she was afraid of them. Now she was no longer afraid of
|
||
them. The shackles had been stricken off her soul. She was quite
|
||
prepared to talk if occasion offered. Meanwhile she was giving herself
|
||
such freedom of thought as she had never dared to take before. She let
|
||
herself go with a wild, inner exultation, as Uncle Herbert carved the
|
||
turkey. Uncle Herbert gave Valancy a second look that day. Being a man,
|
||
he didn’t know what she had done to her hair, but he thought
|
||
surprisedly that Doss was not such a bad-looking girl, after all; and
|
||
he put an extra piece of white meat on her plate.
|
||
|
||
“What herb is most injurious to a young lady’s beauty?” propounded
|
||
Uncle Benjamin by way of starting conversation—“loosening things up a
|
||
bit,” as he would have said.
|
||
|
||
Valancy, whose duty it was to say, “What?” did not say it. Nobody else
|
||
said it, so Uncle Benjamin, after an expectant pause, had to answer,
|
||
“Thyme,” and felt that his riddle had fallen flat. He looked
|
||
resentfully at Valancy, who had never failed him before, but Valancy
|
||
did not seem even to be aware of him. She was gazing around the table,
|
||
examining relentlessly every one in this depressing assembly of
|
||
sensible people and watching their little squirms with a detached,
|
||
amused smile.
|
||
|
||
So these were the people she had always held in reverence and fear. She
|
||
seemed to see them with new eyes.
|
||
|
||
Big, capable, patronising, voluble Aunt Mildred, who thought herself
|
||
the cleverest woman in the clan, her husband a little lower than the
|
||
angels and her children wonders. Had not her son, Howard, been all
|
||
through teething at eleven months? And could she not tell you the best
|
||
way to do everything, from cooking mushrooms to picking up a snake?
|
||
What a bore she was! What ugly moles she had on her face!
|
||
|
||
Cousin Gladys, who was always praising her son, who had died young, and
|
||
always fighting with her living one. She had neuritis—or what she
|
||
called neuritis. It jumped about from one part of her body to another.
|
||
It was a convenient thing. If anybody wanted her to go somewhere she
|
||
didn’t want to go she had neuritis in her legs. And always if any
|
||
mental effort was required she could have neuritis in her head. You
|
||
can’t _think_ with neuritis in your head, my dear.
|
||
|
||
“What an old humbug you are!” thought Valancy impiously.
|
||
|
||
Aunt Isabel. Valancy counted her chins. Aunt Isabel was the critic of
|
||
the clan. She had always gone about squashing people flat. More members
|
||
of it than Valancy were afraid of her. She had, it was conceded, a
|
||
biting tongue.
|
||
|
||
“I wonder what would happen to your face if you ever smiled,”
|
||
speculated Valancy, unblushingly.
|
||
|
||
Second Cousin Sarah Taylor, with her great, pale, expressionless eyes,
|
||
who was noted for the variety of her pickle recipes and for nothing
|
||
else. So afraid of saying something indiscreet that she never said
|
||
anything worth listening to. So proper that she blushed when she saw
|
||
the advertisement picture of a corset and had put a dress on her Venus
|
||
de Milo statuette which made it look “real tasty.”
|
||
|
||
Little Cousin Georgiana. Not such a bad little soul. But dreary—very.
|
||
Always looking as if she had just been starched and ironed. Always
|
||
afraid to let herself go. The only thing she really enjoyed was a
|
||
funeral. You knew where you were with a corpse. Nothing more could
|
||
happen to _it_. But while there was life there was fear.
|
||
|
||
Uncle James. Handsome, black, with his sarcastic, trap-like mouth and
|
||
iron-grey side-burns, whose favourite amusement was to write
|
||
controversial letters to the _Christian Times_, attacking Modernism.
|
||
Valancy always wondered if he looked as solemn when he was asleep as he
|
||
did when awake. No wonder his wife had died young. Valancy remembered
|
||
her. A pretty, sensitive thing. Uncle James had denied her everything
|
||
she wanted and showered on her everything she didn’t want. He had
|
||
killed her—quite legally. She had been smothered and starved.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin, wheezy, pussy-mouthed. With great pouches under eyes
|
||
that held nothing in reverence.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington. Long, pallid face, thin, pale-yellow hair—“one of the
|
||
fair Stirlings”—thin, stooping body, abominably high forehead with such
|
||
ugly wrinkles, and “eyes about as intelligent as a fish’s,” thought
|
||
Valancy. “Looks like a cartoon of himself.”
|
||
|
||
Aunt Wellington. Named Mary but called by her husband’s name to
|
||
distinguish her from Great-aunt Mary. A massive, dignified, permanent
|
||
lady. Splendidly arranged, iron-grey hair. Rich, fashionable beaded
|
||
dress. Had _her_ moles removed by electrolysis—which Aunt Mildred
|
||
thought was a wicked evasion of the purposes of God.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Herbert, with his spiky grey hair. Aunt Alberta, who twisted her
|
||
mouth so unpleasantly in talking and had a great reputation for
|
||
unselfishness because she was always giving up a lot of things she
|
||
didn’t want. Valancy let them off easily in her judgment because she
|
||
liked them, even if they were in Milton’s expressive phrase, “stupidly
|
||
good.” But she wondered for what inscrutable reason Aunt Alberta had
|
||
seen fit to tie a black velvet ribbon around each of her chubby arms
|
||
above the elbow.
|
||
|
||
Then she looked across the table at Olive. Olive, who had been held up
|
||
to her as a paragon of beauty, behaviour and success as long as she
|
||
could remember. “Why can’t you hold yourself like Olive, Doss? Why
|
||
can’t you stand correctly like Olive, Doss? Why can’t you speak
|
||
prettily like Olive, Doss? Why can’t you make an effort, Doss?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy’s elfin eyes lost their mocking glitter and became pensive and
|
||
sorrowful. You could not ignore or disdain Olive. It was quite
|
||
impossible to deny that she was beautiful and effective and sometimes
|
||
she was a little intelligent. Her mouth might be a trifle heavy—she
|
||
might show her fine, white, regular teeth rather too lavishly when she
|
||
smiled. But when all was said and done, Olive justified Uncle
|
||
Benjamin’s summing up—“a stunning girl.” Yes, Valancy agreed in her
|
||
heart, Olive was stunning.
|
||
|
||
Rich, golden-brown hair, elaborately dressed, with a sparkling bandeau
|
||
holding its glossy puffs in place; large, brilliant blue eyes and thick
|
||
silken lashes; face of rose and bare neck of snow, rising above her
|
||
gown; great pearl bubbles in her ears; the blue-white diamond flame on
|
||
her long, smooth, waxen finger with its rosy, pointed nail. Arms of
|
||
marble, gleaming through green chiffon and shadow lace. Valancy felt
|
||
suddenly thankful that her own scrawny arms were decently swathed in
|
||
brown silk. Then she resumed her tabulation of Olive’s charms.
|
||
|
||
Tall. Queenly. Confident. Everything that Valancy was _not_. Dimples,
|
||
too, in cheeks and chin. “A woman with dimples always gets her own
|
||
way,” thought Valancy, in a recurring spasm of bitterness at the fate
|
||
which had denied her even one dimple.
|
||
|
||
Olive was only a year younger than Valancy, though a stranger would
|
||
have thought that there was at least ten years between them. But nobody
|
||
ever dreaded old maidenhood for her. Olive had been surrounded by a
|
||
crowd of eager beaus since her early teens, just as her mirror was
|
||
always surrounded by a fringe of cards, photographs, programmes and
|
||
invitations. At eighteen, when she had graduated from Havergal College,
|
||
Olive had been engaged to Will Desmond, lawyer in embryo. Will Desmond
|
||
had died and Olive had mourned for him properly for two years. When she
|
||
was twenty-three she had a hectic affair with Donald Jackson. But Aunt
|
||
and Uncle Wellington disapproved of that and in the end Olive dutifully
|
||
gave him up. Nobody in the Stirling clan—whatever outsiders might
|
||
say—hinted that she did so because Donald himself was cooling off.
|
||
However that might be, Olive’s third venture met with everybody’s
|
||
approval. Cecil Price was clever and handsome and “one of the Port
|
||
Lawrence Prices.” Olive had been engaged to him for three years. He had
|
||
just graduated in civil engineering and they were to be married as soon
|
||
as he landed a contract. Olive’s hope chest was full to overflowing
|
||
with exquisite things and Olive had already confided to Valancy what
|
||
her wedding-dress was to be. Ivory silk draped with lace, white satin
|
||
court train, lined with pale green georgette, heirloom veil of Brussels
|
||
lace. Valancy knew also—though Olive had not told her—that the
|
||
bridesmaids were selected and that she was not among them.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had, after a fashion, always been Olive’s confidante—perhaps
|
||
because she was the only girl in the connection who could not bore
|
||
Olive with return confidences. Olive always told Valancy all the
|
||
details of her love affairs, from the days when the little boys in
|
||
school used to “persecute” her with love letters. Valancy could not
|
||
comfort herself by thinking these affairs mythical. Olive really had
|
||
them. Many men had gone mad over her besides the three fortunate ones.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know what the poor idiots see in me, that drives them to make
|
||
such double idiots of themselves,” Olive was wont to say. Valancy would
|
||
have liked to say, “I don’t either,” but truth and diplomacy both
|
||
restrained her. She _did_ know, perfectly well. Olive Stirling was one
|
||
of the girls about whom men do go mad just as indubitably as she,
|
||
Valancy, was one of the girls at whom no man ever looked twice.
|
||
|
||
“And yet,” thought Valancy, summing her up with a new and merciless
|
||
conclusiveness, “she’s like a dewless morning. There’s _something_
|
||
lacking.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XI
|
||
|
||
|
||
Meanwhile the dinner in its earlier stages was dragging its slow length
|
||
along true to Stirling form. The room was chilly, in spite of the
|
||
calendar, and Aunt Alberta had the gas-logs lighted. Everybody in the
|
||
clan envied her those gas-logs except Valancy. Glorious open fires
|
||
blazed in every room of her Blue Castle when autumnal nights were cool,
|
||
but she would have frozen to death in it before she would have
|
||
committed the sacrilege of a gas-log. Uncle Herbert made his hardy
|
||
perennial joke when he helped Aunt Wellington to the cold meat—“Mary,
|
||
will you have a little lamb?” Aunt Mildred told the same old story of
|
||
once finding a lost ring in a turkey’s crop. Uncle Benjamin told _his_
|
||
favourite prosy tale of how he had once chased and punished a now
|
||
famous man for stealing apples. Second Cousin Jane described all her
|
||
sufferings with an ulcerating tooth. Aunt Wellington admired the
|
||
pattern of Aunt Alberta’s silver teaspoons and lamented the fact that
|
||
one of her own had been lost.
|
||
|
||
“It spoiled the set. I could never get it matched. And it was my
|
||
wedding-present from dear old Aunt Matilda.”
|
||
|
||
Aunt Isabel thought the seasons were changing and couldn’t imagine what
|
||
had become of our good, old-fashioned springs. Cousin Georgiana, as
|
||
usual, discussed the last funeral and wondered, audibly, “which of us
|
||
will be the next to pass away.” Cousin Georgiana could never say
|
||
anything as blunt as “die.” Valancy thought she could tell her, but
|
||
didn’t. Cousin Gladys, likewise as usual, had a grievance. Her visiting
|
||
nephews had nipped all the buds off her house-plants and chivied her
|
||
brood of fancy chickens—“squeezed some of them actually to death, my
|
||
dear.”
|
||
|
||
“Boys will be boys,” reminded Uncle Herbert tolerantly.
|
||
|
||
“But they needn’t be ramping, rampageous animals,” retorted Cousin
|
||
Gladys, looking round the table for appreciation of her wit. Everybody
|
||
smiled except Valancy. Cousin Gladys remembered that. A few minutes
|
||
later, when Ellen Hamilton was being discussed, Cousin Gladys spoke of
|
||
her as “one of those shy, plain girls who can’t get husbands,” and
|
||
glanced significantly at Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Uncle James thought the conversation was sagging to a rather low plane
|
||
of personal gossip. He tried to elevate it by starting an abstract
|
||
discussion on “the greatest happiness.” Everybody was asked to state
|
||
his or her idea of “the greatest happiness.”
|
||
|
||
Aunt Mildred thought the greatest happiness—for a woman—was to be “a
|
||
loving and beloved wife and mother.” Aunt Wellington thought it would
|
||
be to travel in Europe. Olive thought it would be to be a great singer
|
||
like Tetrazzini. Cousin Gladys remarked mournfully that _her_ greatest
|
||
happiness would be to be free—absolutely free—from neuritis. Cousin
|
||
Georgiana’s greatest happiness would be “to have her dear, dead brother
|
||
Richard back.” Aunt Alberta remarked vaguely that the greatest
|
||
happiness was to be found in “the poetry of life” and hastily gave some
|
||
directions to her maid to prevent any one asking her what she meant.
|
||
Mrs. Frederick said the greatest happiness was to spend your life in
|
||
loving service for others, and Cousin Stickles and Aunt Isabel agreed
|
||
with her—Aunt Isabel with a resentful air, as if she thought Mrs.
|
||
Frederick had taken the wind out of her sails by saying it first. “We
|
||
are all too prone,” continued Mrs. Frederick, determined not to lose so
|
||
good an opportunity, “to live in selfishness, worldliness and sin.” The
|
||
other women all felt rebuked for their low ideals, and Uncle James had
|
||
a conviction that the conversation had been uplifted with a vengeance.
|
||
|
||
“The greatest happiness,” said Valancy suddenly and distinctly, “is to
|
||
sneeze when you want to.”
|
||
|
||
Everybody stared. Nobody felt it safe to say anything. Was Valancy
|
||
trying to be funny? It was incredible. Mrs. Frederick, who had been
|
||
breathing easier since the dinner had progressed so far without any
|
||
outbreak on the part of Valancy, began to tremble again. But she deemed
|
||
it the part of prudence to say nothing. Uncle Benjamin was not so
|
||
prudent. He rashly rushed in where Mrs. Frederick feared to tread.
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” he chuckled, “what is the difference between a young girl and
|
||
an old maid?”
|
||
|
||
“One is happy and careless and the other is cappy and hairless,” said
|
||
Valancy. “You have asked that riddle at least fifty times in my
|
||
recollection, Uncle Ben. Why don’t you hunt up some new riddles if
|
||
riddle you _must_? It is such a fatal mistake to try to be funny if you
|
||
don’t succeed.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin stared foolishly. Never in his life had he, Benjamin
|
||
Stirling, of Stirling and Frost, been spoken to so. And by Valancy of
|
||
all people! He looked feebly around the table to see what the others
|
||
thought of it. Everybody was looking rather blank. Poor Mrs. Frederick
|
||
had shut her eyes. And her lips moved tremblingly—as if she were
|
||
praying. Perhaps she was. The situation was so unprecedented that
|
||
nobody knew how to meet it. Valancy went on calmly eating her salad as
|
||
if nothing out of the usual had occurred.
|
||
|
||
Aunt Alberta, to save her dinner, plunged into an account of how a dog
|
||
had bitten her recently. Uncle James, to back her up, asked where the
|
||
dog had bitten her.
|
||
|
||
“Just a little below the Catholic church,” said Aunt Alberta.
|
||
|
||
At that point Valancy laughed. Nobody else laughed. What was there to
|
||
laugh at?
|
||
|
||
“Is that a vital part?” asked Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“What do you mean?” said bewildered Aunt Alberta, and Mrs. Frederick
|
||
was almost driven to believe that she had served God all her years for
|
||
naught.
|
||
|
||
Aunt Isabel concluded that it was up to her to suppress Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Doss, you are horribly thin,” she said. “You are _all_ corners. Do you
|
||
_ever_ try to fatten up a little?”
|
||
|
||
“No.” Valancy was not asking quarter or giving it. “But I can tell you
|
||
where you’ll find a beauty parlor in Port Lawrence where they can
|
||
reduce the number of your chins.”
|
||
|
||
“_Val-an-cy!_” The protest was wrung from Mrs. Frederick. She meant her
|
||
tone to be stately and majestic, as usual, but it sounded more like an
|
||
imploring whine. And she did not say “Doss.”
|
||
|
||
“She’s feverish,” said Cousin Stickles to Uncle Benjamin in an agonised
|
||
whisper. “We’ve thought she’s seemed feverish for several days.”
|
||
|
||
“She’s gone dippy, in my opinion,” growled Uncle Benjamin. “If not, she
|
||
ought to be spanked. Yes, spanked.”
|
||
|
||
“You can’t spank her.” Cousin Stickles was much agitated. “She’s
|
||
twenty-nine years old.”
|
||
|
||
“So there is that advantage, at least, in being twenty-nine,” said
|
||
Valancy, whose ears had caught this aside.
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” said Uncle Benjamin, “when I am dead you may say what you
|
||
please. As long as I am alive I demand to be treated with respect.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, but you know we’re all dead,” said Valancy, “the whole Stirling
|
||
clan. Some of us are buried and some aren’t—yet. That is the only
|
||
difference.”
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” said Uncle Benjamin, thinking it might cow Valancy, “do you
|
||
remember the time you stole the raspberry jam?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy flushed scarlet—with suppressed laughter, not shame. She had
|
||
been sure Uncle Benjamin would drag that jam in somehow.
|
||
|
||
“Of course I do,” she said. “It was good jam. I’ve always been sorry I
|
||
hadn’t time to eat more of it before you found me. Oh, _look_ at Aunt
|
||
Isabel’s profile on the wall. Did you ever see anything so funny?”
|
||
|
||
Everybody looked, including Aunt Isabel herself, which of course,
|
||
destroyed it. But Uncle Herbert said kindly, “I—I wouldn’t eat any more
|
||
if I were you, Doss. It isn’t that I grudge it—but don’t you think it
|
||
would be better for yourself? Your—your stomach seems a little out of
|
||
order.”
|
||
|
||
“Don’t worry about my stomach, old dear,” said Valancy. “It is all
|
||
right. I’m going to keep right on eating. It’s so seldom I get the
|
||
chance of a satisfying meal.”
|
||
|
||
It was the first time any one had been called “old dear” in Deerwood.
|
||
The Stirlings thought Valancy had invented the phrase and they were
|
||
afraid of her from that moment. There was something so uncanny about
|
||
such an expression. But in poor Mrs. Frederick’s opinion the reference
|
||
to a satisfying meal was the worst thing Valancy had said yet. Valancy
|
||
had always been a disappointment to her. Now she was a disgrace. She
|
||
thought she would have to get up and go away from the table. Yet she
|
||
dared not leave Valancy there.
|
||
|
||
Aunt Alberta’s maid came in to remove the salad plates and bring in the
|
||
dessert. It was a welcome diversion. Everybody brightened up with a
|
||
determination to ignore Valancy and talk as if she wasn’t there. Uncle
|
||
Wellington mentioned Barney Snaith. Eventually somebody did mention
|
||
Barney Snaith at every Stirling function, Valancy reflected. Whatever
|
||
he was, he was an individual that could not be ignored. She resigned
|
||
herself to listen. There was a subtle fascination in the subject for
|
||
her, though she had not yet faced this fact. She could feel her pulses
|
||
beating to her finger-tips.
|
||
|
||
Of course they abused him. Nobody ever had a good word to say of Barney
|
||
Snaith. All the old, wild tales were canvassed—the defaulting
|
||
cashier-counterfeiter-infidel-murderer-in-hiding legends were thrashed
|
||
out. Uncle Wellington was very indignant that such a creature should be
|
||
allowed to exist at all in the neighbourhood of Deerwood. He didn’t
|
||
know what the police at Port Lawrence were thinking of. Everybody would
|
||
be murdered in their beds some night. It was a shame that he should be
|
||
allowed to be at large after all that he had done.
|
||
|
||
“What _has_ he done?” asked Valancy suddenly.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington stared at her, forgetting that she was to be ignored.
|
||
|
||
“Done! Done! He’s done _everything_.”
|
||
|
||
“_What_ has he done?” repeated Valancy inexorably. “What do you _know_
|
||
that he has done? You’re always running him down. And what has ever
|
||
been proved against him?”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t argue with women,” said Uncle Wellington. “And I don’t need
|
||
proof. When a man hides himself up there on an island in Muskoka, year
|
||
in and year out, and nobody can find out where he came from or how he
|
||
lives, or what he does there, _that’s_ proof enough. Find a mystery and
|
||
you find a crime.”
|
||
|
||
“The very idea of a man named Snaith!” said Second Cousin Sarah. “Why,
|
||
the name itself is enough to condemn him!”
|
||
|
||
“I wouldn’t like to meet him in a dark lane,” shivered Cousin
|
||
Georgiana.
|
||
|
||
“What do you suppose he would do to you?” asked Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Murder me,” said Cousin Georgiana solemnly.
|
||
|
||
“Just for the fun of it?” suggested Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Exactly,” said Cousin Georgiana unsuspiciously. “When there is so much
|
||
smoke there must be some fire. I was afraid he was a criminal when he
|
||
came here first. I _felt_ he had something to hide. I am not often
|
||
mistaken in my intuitions.”
|
||
|
||
“Criminal! Of course he’s a criminal,” said Uncle Wellington. “Nobody
|
||
doubts it”—glaring at Valancy. “Why, they say he served a term in the
|
||
penitentiary for embezzlement. I don’t doubt it. And they say he’s in
|
||
with that gang that are perpetrating all those bank robberies round the
|
||
country.”
|
||
|
||
“_Who_ say?” asked Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington knotted his ugly forehead at her. What had got into
|
||
this confounded girl, anyway? He ignored the question.
|
||
|
||
“He has the identical look of a jail-bird,” snapped Uncle Benjamin. “I
|
||
noticed it the first time I saw him.”
|
||
|
||
“‘A fellow by the hand of nature marked,
|
||
Quoted and signed to do a deed of shame’,”
|
||
|
||
|
||
declaimed Uncle James. He looked enormously pleased over managing to
|
||
work that quotation in at last. He had been waiting all his life for
|
||
the chance.
|
||
|
||
“One of his eyebrows is an arch and the other is a triangle,” said
|
||
Valancy. “Is _that_ why you think him so villainous?”
|
||
|
||
Uncle James lifted _his_ eyebrows. Generally when Uncle James lifted
|
||
his eyebrows the world came to an end. This time it continued to
|
||
function.
|
||
|
||
“How do _you_ know his eyebrows so well, Doss?” asked Olive, a trifle
|
||
maliciously. Such a remark would have covered Valancy with confusion
|
||
two weeks ago, and Olive knew it.
|
||
|
||
“Yes, how?” demanded Aunt Wellington.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve seen him twice and I looked at him closely,” said Valancy
|
||
composedly. “I thought his face the most interesting one I ever saw.”
|
||
|
||
“There is no doubt there is something fishy in the creature’s past
|
||
life,” said Olive, who began to think she was decidedly out of the
|
||
conversation, which had centred so amazingly around Valancy. “But he
|
||
can hardly be guilty of _everything_ he’s accused of, you know.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy felt annoyed with Olive. Why should _she_ speak up in even this
|
||
qualified defence of Barney Snaith? What had _she_ to do with him? For
|
||
that matter, what had Valancy? But Valancy did not ask herself this
|
||
question.
|
||
|
||
“They say he keeps dozens of cats in that hut up back on Mistawis,”
|
||
said Second Cousin Sarah Taylor, by way of appearing not entirely
|
||
ignorant of him.
|
||
|
||
Cats. It sounded quite alluring to Valancy, in the plural. She pictured
|
||
an island in Muskoka haunted by pussies.
|
||
|
||
“That alone shows there is something wrong with him,” decreed Aunt
|
||
Isabel.
|
||
|
||
“People who don’t like cats,” said Valancy, attacking her dessert with
|
||
a relish, “always seem to think that there is some peculiar virtue in
|
||
not liking them.”
|
||
|
||
“The man hasn’t a friend except Roaring Abel,” said Uncle Wellington.
|
||
“And if Roaring Abel had kept away from him, as everybody else did, it
|
||
would have been better for—for some members of his family.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington’s rather lame conclusion was due to a marital glance
|
||
from Aunt Wellington reminding him of what he had almost forgotten—that
|
||
there were girls at the table.
|
||
|
||
“If you mean,” said Valancy passionately, “that Barney Snaith is the
|
||
father of Cecily Gay’s child, he _isn’t_. It’s a wicked lie.”
|
||
|
||
In spite of her indignation Valancy was hugely amused at the expression
|
||
of the faces around that festal table. She had not seen anything like
|
||
it since the day, seventeen years ago, when at Cousin Gladys’ thimble
|
||
party, they discovered that she had got—SOMETHING—in her head at
|
||
school. _Lice_ in her head! Valancy was done with euphemisms.
|
||
|
||
Poor Mrs. Frederick was almost in a state of collapse. She had
|
||
believed—or pretended to believe—that Valancy still supposed that
|
||
children were found in parsley beds.
|
||
|
||
“Hush—hush!” implored Cousin Stickles.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t mean to hush,” said Valancy perversely. “I’ve hush-hushed all
|
||
my life. I’ll scream if I want to. Don’t make me want to. And stop
|
||
talking nonsense about Barney Snaith.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy didn’t exactly understand her own indignation. What did Barney
|
||
Snaith’s imputed crimes and misdemeanours matter to her? And why, out
|
||
of them all, did it seem most intolerable that he should have been
|
||
poor, pitiful little Cecily Gay’s false lover? For it _did_ seem
|
||
intolerable to her. She did not mind when they called him a thief and a
|
||
counterfeiter and jail-bird; but she could not endure to think that he
|
||
had loved and ruined Cecily Gay. She recalled his face on the two
|
||
occasions of their chance meetings—his twisted, enigmatic, engaging
|
||
smile, his twinkle, his thin, sensitive, almost ascetic lips, his
|
||
general air of frank daredeviltry. A man with such a smile and lips
|
||
might have murdered or stolen but he could not have betrayed. She
|
||
suddenly hated every one who said it or believed it of him.
|
||
|
||
“When _I_ was a young girl I never thought or spoke about such matters,
|
||
Doss,” said Aunt Wellington, crushingly.
|
||
|
||
“But I’m not a young girl,” retorted Valancy, uncrushed. “Aren’t you
|
||
always rubbing that into me? And you are all evil-minded, senseless
|
||
gossips. Can’t you leave poor Cissy Gay alone? She’s dying. Whatever
|
||
she did, God or the Devil has punished her enough for it. _You_ needn’t
|
||
take a hand, too. As for Barney Snaith, the only crime he has been
|
||
guilty of is living to himself and minding his own business. He can, it
|
||
seems, get along without you. Which _is_ an unpardonable sin, of
|
||
course, in your little snobocracy.” Valancy coined that concluding word
|
||
suddenly and felt that it was an inspiration. That was exactly what
|
||
they were and not one of them was fit to mend another.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy, your poor father would turn over in his grave if he could
|
||
hear you,” said Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“I dare say he would like that for a change,” said Valancy brazenly.
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” said Uncle James heavily, “the Ten Commandments are fairly up
|
||
to date still—especially the fifth. Have you forgotten that?”
|
||
|
||
“No,” said Valancy, “but I thought _you_ had—especially the ninth. Have
|
||
you ever thought, Uncle James, how dull life would be without the Ten
|
||
Commandments? It is only when things are forbidden that they become
|
||
fascinating.”
|
||
|
||
But her excitement had been too much for her. She knew, by certain
|
||
unmistakable warnings, that one of her attacks of pain was coming on.
|
||
It must not find her there. She rose from her chair.
|
||
|
||
“I am going home now. I only came for the dinner. It was very good,
|
||
Aunt Alberta, although your salad-dressing is not salt enough and a
|
||
dash of cayenne would improve it.”
|
||
|
||
None of the flabbergasted silver wedding guests could think of anything
|
||
to say until the lawn gate clanged behind Valancy in the dusk. Then—
|
||
|
||
“She’s feverish—I’ve said right along she was feverish,” moaned Cousin
|
||
Stickles.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin punished his pudgy left hand fiercely with his pudgy
|
||
right.
|
||
|
||
“She’s dippy—I tell you she’s gone dippy,” he snorted angrily. “That’s
|
||
all there is about it. Clean dippy.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, Benjamin,” said Cousin Georgiana soothingly, “don’t condemn her
|
||
too rashly. We _must_ remember what dear old Shakespeare says—that
|
||
charity thinketh no evil.”
|
||
|
||
“Charity! Poppy-cock!” snorted Uncle Benjamin. “I never heard a young
|
||
woman talk such stuff in my life as she just did. Talking about things
|
||
she ought to be ashamed to think of, much less mention. Blaspheming!
|
||
Insulting _us_! What she wants is a generous dose of spank-weed and I’d
|
||
like to be the one to administer it. H-uh-h-h-h!” Uncle Benjamin gulped
|
||
down the half of a scalding cup of coffee.
|
||
|
||
“Do you suppose that the mumps could work on a person that way?” wailed
|
||
Cousin Stickles.
|
||
|
||
“I opened an umbrella in the house yesterday,” sniffed Cousin
|
||
Georgiana. “I _knew_ it betokened some misfortune.”
|
||
|
||
“Have you tried to find out if she has a temperature?” asked Cousin
|
||
Mildred.
|
||
|
||
“She wouldn’t let Amelia put the thermometer under her tongue,”
|
||
whimpered Cousin Stickles.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick was openly in tears. All her defences were down.
|
||
|
||
“I must tell you,” she sobbed, “that Valancy has been acting very
|
||
strangely for over two weeks now. She hasn’t been a bit like
|
||
herself—Christine could tell you. I have hoped against hope that it was
|
||
only one of her colds coming on. But it is—it must be something worse.”
|
||
|
||
“This is bringing on my neuritis again,” said Cousin Gladys, putting
|
||
her hand to her head.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t cry, Amelia,” said Herbert kindly, pulling nervously at his
|
||
spiky grey hair. He hated “family ructions.” Very inconsiderate of Doss
|
||
to start one at _his_ silver wedding. Who could have supposed she had
|
||
it in her? “You’ll have to take her to a doctor. This may be only
|
||
a—er—a brainstorm. There are such things as brainstorms nowadays,
|
||
aren’t there?”
|
||
|
||
“I—I suggested consulting a doctor to her yesterday,” moaned Mrs.
|
||
Frederick. “And she said she wouldn’t go to a doctor—wouldn’t. Oh,
|
||
surely I have had trouble enough!”
|
||
|
||
“And she _won’t_ take Redfern’s Bitters,” said Cousin Stickles.
|
||
|
||
“Or _anything_,” said Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“And she’s determined to go to the Presbyterian church,” said Cousin
|
||
Stickles—repressing, however, to her credit be it said, the story of
|
||
the bannister.
|
||
|
||
“That proves she’s dippy,” growled Uncle Benjamin. “I noticed something
|
||
strange about her the minute she came in today. I noticed it _before_
|
||
today.” (Uncle Benjamin was thinking of “m-i-r-a-z-h.”) “Everything she
|
||
said today showed an unbalanced mind. That question—‘Was it a vital
|
||
part?’ Was there any sense at all in that remark? None whatever! There
|
||
never was anything like that in the Stirlings. It must be from the
|
||
Wansbarras.”
|
||
|
||
Poor Mrs. Frederick was too crushed to be indignant.
|
||
|
||
“I never heard of anything like that in the Wansbarras,” she sobbed.
|
||
|
||
“Your father was odd enough,” said Uncle Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
“Poor Pa was—peculiar,” admitted Mrs. Frederick tearfully, “but his
|
||
mind was never affected.”
|
||
|
||
“He talked all his life exactly as Valancy did today,” retorted Uncle
|
||
Benjamin. “And he believed he was his own great-great grandfather born
|
||
over again. I’ve heard him say it. Don’t tell _me_ that a man who
|
||
believed a thing like _that_ was ever in his right senses. Come, come,
|
||
Amelia, stop sniffling. Of course Doss has made a terrible exhibition
|
||
of herself today, but she’s not responsible. Old maids are apt to fly
|
||
off at a tangent like that. If she had been married when she should
|
||
have been she wouldn’t have got like this.”
|
||
|
||
“Nobody wanted to marry her,” said Mrs. Frederick, who felt that,
|
||
somehow, Uncle Benjamin was blaming her.
|
||
|
||
“Well, fortunately there’s no outsider here,” snapped Uncle Benjamin.
|
||
“We may keep it in the family yet. I’ll take her over to see Dr. Marsh
|
||
tomorrow. _I_ know how to deal with pig-headed people. Won’t that be
|
||
best, James?”
|
||
|
||
“We must have medical advice certainly,” agreed Uncle James.
|
||
|
||
“Well, that’s settled. In the meantime, Amelia, act as if nothing had
|
||
happened and keep an eye on her. Don’t let her be alone. Above all,
|
||
don’t let her sleep alone.”
|
||
|
||
Renewed whimpers from Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“I can’t help it. Night before last I suggested she’d better have
|
||
Christine sleep with her. She positively refused—_and locked her door_.
|
||
Oh, you don’t know how she’s changed. She won’t work. At least, she
|
||
won’t sew. She does her usual housework, of course. But she wouldn’t
|
||
sweep the parlour yesterday morning, though we _always_ sweep it on
|
||
Thursdays. She said she’d wait till it was dirty. ‘Would you rather
|
||
sweep a dirty room than a clean one?’ I asked her. She said, ‘Of
|
||
course. I’d see something for my labour then.’ Think of it!”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin thought of it.
|
||
|
||
“The jar of potpourri”—Cousin Stickles pronounced it as spelled—“has
|
||
disappeared from her room. I found the pieces in the next lot. She
|
||
won’t tell us what happened to it.”
|
||
|
||
“I should never have dreamed it of Doss,” said Uncle Herbert. “She has
|
||
always seemed such a quiet, sensible girl. A bit backward—but
|
||
sensible.”
|
||
|
||
“The only thing you can be sure of in this world is the multiplication
|
||
table,” said Uncle James, feeling cleverer than ever.
|
||
|
||
“Well, let’s cheer up,” suggested Uncle Benjamin. “Why are chorus girls
|
||
like fine stock raisers?”
|
||
|
||
“Why?” asked Cousin Stickles, since it had to be asked and Valancy
|
||
wasn’t there to ask it.
|
||
|
||
“Like to exhibit calves,” chuckled Uncle Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Stickles thought Uncle Benjamin a little indelicate. Before
|
||
Olive, too. But then, he was a man.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Herbert was thinking that things were rather dull now that Doss
|
||
had gone.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy hurried home through the faint blue twilight—hurried too fast
|
||
perhaps. The attack she had when she thankfully reached the shelter of
|
||
her own room was the worst yet. It was really very bad. She might die
|
||
in one of those spells. It would be dreadful to die in such pain.
|
||
Perhaps—perhaps this was death. Valancy felt pitifully alone. When she
|
||
could think at all she wondered what it would be like to have some one
|
||
with her who could sympathise—some one who really cared—just to hold
|
||
her hand tight, if nothing else—some one just to say, “Yes, I know.
|
||
It’s dreadful—be brave—you’ll soon be better;” not some one merely
|
||
fussy and alarmed. Not her mother or Cousin Stickles. Why did the
|
||
thought of Barney Snaith come into her mind? Why did she suddenly feel,
|
||
in the midst of this hideous loneliness of pain, that _he_ would be
|
||
sympathetic—sorry for any one that was suffering? Why did he seem to
|
||
her like an old, well-known friend? Was it because she had been
|
||
defending him—standing up to her family for him?
|
||
|
||
She was so bad at first that she could not even get herself a dose of
|
||
Dr. Trent’s prescription. But eventually she managed it, and soon after
|
||
relief came. The pain left her and she lay on her bed, spent,
|
||
exhausted, in a cold perspiration. Oh, that had been horrible! She
|
||
could not endure many more attacks like that. One didn’t mind dying if
|
||
death could be instant and painless. But to be hurt so in dying!
|
||
|
||
Suddenly she found herself laughing. That dinner _had_ been fun. And it
|
||
had all been so simple. She had merely _said_ the things she had always
|
||
_thought_. Their faces—oh, their faces! Uncle Benjamin—poor,
|
||
flabbergasted Uncle Benjamin! Valancy felt quite sure he would make a
|
||
new will that very night. Olive would get Valancy’s share of his fat
|
||
hoard. Olive had always got Valancy’s share of everything. Remember the
|
||
dust-pile.
|
||
|
||
To laugh at her clan as she had always wanted to laugh was all the
|
||
satisfaction she could get out of life now. But she thought it was
|
||
rather pitiful that it should be so. Might she not pity herself a
|
||
little when nobody else did?
|
||
|
||
Valancy got up and went to her window. The moist, beautiful wind
|
||
blowing across groves of young-leafed wild trees touched her face with
|
||
the caress of a wise, tender, old friend. The lombardies in Mrs.
|
||
Tredgold’s lawn, off to the left—Valancy could just see them between
|
||
the stable and the old carriage-shop—were in dark purple silhouette
|
||
against a clear sky and there was a milk-white, pulsating star just
|
||
over one of them, like a living pearl on a silver-green lake. Far
|
||
beyond the station were the shadowy, purple-hooded woods around Lake
|
||
Mistawis. A white, filmy mist hung over them and just above it was a
|
||
faint, young crescent. Valancy looked at it over her thin left
|
||
shoulder.
|
||
|
||
“I wish,” she said whimsically, “that I may have _one_ little dust-pile
|
||
before I die.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin found he had reckoned without his host when he promised
|
||
so airily to take Valancy to a doctor. Valancy would not go. Valancy
|
||
laughed in his face.
|
||
|
||
“Why on earth should I go to Dr. Marsh? There’s nothing the matter with
|
||
my mind. Though you all think I’ve suddenly gone crazy. Well, I
|
||
haven’t. I’ve simply grown tired of living to please other people and
|
||
have decided to please myself. It will give you something to talk about
|
||
besides my stealing the raspberry jam. So that’s that.”
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” said Uncle Benjamin, solemnly and helplessly, “you are not—like
|
||
yourself.”
|
||
|
||
“Who am I like, then?” asked Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin was rather posed.
|
||
|
||
“Your Grandfather Wansbarra,” he answered desperately.
|
||
|
||
“Thanks.” Valancy looked pleased. “That’s a real compliment. I remember
|
||
Grandfather Wansbarra. He was one of the few human beings I _have_
|
||
known—almost the only one. Now, it is of no use to scold or entreat or
|
||
command, Uncle Benjamin—or exchange anguished glances with Mother and
|
||
Cousin Stickles. I am not going to any doctor. And if you bring any
|
||
doctor here I won’t see him. So what are you going to do about it?”
|
||
|
||
What indeed! It was not seemly—or even possible—to hale Valancy
|
||
doctorwards by physical force. And in no other way could it be done,
|
||
seemingly. Her mother’s tears and imploring entreaties availed not.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t worry, Mother,” said Valancy, lightly but quite respectfully.
|
||
“It isn’t likely I’ll do anything very terrible. But I mean to have a
|
||
little fun.”
|
||
|
||
“Fun!” Mrs. Frederick uttered the word as if Valancy had said she was
|
||
going to have a little tuberculosis.
|
||
|
||
Olive, sent by her mother to see if _she_ had any influence over
|
||
Valancy, came away with flushed cheeks and angry eyes. She told her
|
||
mother that nothing could be done with Valancy. After _she_, Olive, had
|
||
talked to her just like a sister, tenderly and wisely, all Valancy had
|
||
said, narrowing her funny eyes to mere slits, was, “_I_ don’t show my
|
||
gums when I laugh.”
|
||
|
||
“More as if she were talking to herself than to me. Indeed, Mother, all
|
||
the time I was talking to her she gave me the impression of not really
|
||
listening. And that wasn’t all. When I finally decided that what I was
|
||
saying had no influence over her I begged her, when Cecil came next
|
||
week, not to say anything queer before him, at least. Mother, what do
|
||
you think she said?”
|
||
|
||
“I’m sure I can’t imagine,” groaned Aunt Wellington, prepared for
|
||
anything.
|
||
|
||
“She said, ‘I’d rather like to shock Cecil. His mouth is too red for a
|
||
man’s.’ Mother, I can never feel the same to Valancy again.”
|
||
|
||
“Her mind is affected, Olive,” said Aunt Wellington solemnly. “You must
|
||
not hold her responsible for what she says.”
|
||
|
||
When Aunt Wellington told Mrs. Frederick what Valancy had said to
|
||
Olive, Mrs. Frederick wanted Valancy to apologise.
|
||
|
||
“You made me apologise to Olive fifteen years ago for something I
|
||
didn’t do,” said Valancy. “That old apology will do for now.”
|
||
|
||
Another solemn family conclave was held. They were all there except
|
||
Cousin Gladys, who had been suffering such tortures of neuritis in her
|
||
head “ever since poor Doss went queer” that she couldn’t undertake any
|
||
responsibility. They decided—that is, they accepted a fact that was
|
||
thrust in their faces—that the wisest thing was to leave Valancy alone
|
||
for a while—“give her her head” as Uncle Benjamin expressed it—“keep a
|
||
careful eye on her but let her pretty much alone.” The term of
|
||
“watchful waiting” had not been invented then, but that was practically
|
||
the policy Valancy’s distracted relatives decided to follow.
|
||
|
||
“We must be guided by developments,” said Uncle Benjamin. “It
|
||
is”—solemnly—“easier to scramble eggs than unscramble them. Of
|
||
course—if she becomes violent——”
|
||
|
||
Uncle James consulted Dr. Ambrose Marsh. Dr. Ambrose Marsh approved
|
||
their decision. He pointed out to irate Uncle James—who would have
|
||
liked to lock Valancy up somewhere, out of hand—that Valancy had not,
|
||
as yet, really done or said anything that could be construed as proof
|
||
of lunacy—and without proof you cannot lock people up in this
|
||
degenerate age. Nothing that Uncle James had reported seemed very
|
||
alarming to Dr. Marsh, who put up his hand to conceal a smile several
|
||
times. But then he himself was not a Stirling. And he knew very little
|
||
about the old Valancy. Uncle James stalked out and drove back to
|
||
Deerwood, thinking that Ambrose Marsh wasn’t much of a doctor, after
|
||
all, and that Adelaide Stirling might have done better for herself.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XIV
|
||
|
||
|
||
Life cannot stop because tragedy enters it. Meals must be made ready
|
||
though a son dies and porches must be repaired even if your only
|
||
daughter is going out of her mind. Mrs. Frederick, in her systematic
|
||
way, had long ago appointed the second week in June for the repairing
|
||
of the front porch, the roof of which was sagging dangerously. Roaring
|
||
Abel had been engaged to do it many moons before and Roaring Abel
|
||
promptly appeared on the morning of the first day of the second week,
|
||
and fell to work. Of course he was drunk. Roaring Abel was never
|
||
anything but drunk. But he was only in the first stage, which made him
|
||
talkative and genial. The odour of whisky on his breath nearly drove
|
||
Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles wild at dinner. Even Valancy, with
|
||
all her emancipation, did not like it. But she liked Abel and she liked
|
||
his vivid, eloquent talk, and after she washed the dinner dishes she
|
||
went out and sat on the steps and talked to him.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles thought it a terrible proceeding,
|
||
but what could they do? Valancy only smiled mockingly at them when they
|
||
called her in, and did not go. It was so easy to defy once you got
|
||
started. The first step was the only one that really counted. They were
|
||
both afraid to say anything more to her lest she might make a scene
|
||
before Roaring Abel, who would spread it all over the country with his
|
||
own characteristic comments and exaggerations. It was too cold a day,
|
||
in spite of the June sunshine, for Mrs. Frederick to sit at the
|
||
dining-room window and listen to what was said. She had to shut the
|
||
window and Valancy and Roaring Abel had their talk to themselves. But
|
||
if Mrs. Frederick had known what the outcome of that talk was to be she
|
||
would have prevented it, if the porch was never repaired.
|
||
|
||
Valancy sat on the steps, defiant of the chill breeze of this cold June
|
||
which had made Aunt Isabel aver the seasons were changing. She did not
|
||
care whether she caught a cold or not. It was delightful to sit there
|
||
in that cold, beautiful, fragrant world and feel free. She filled her
|
||
lungs with the clean, lovely wind and held out her arms to it and let
|
||
it tear her hair to pieces while she listened to Roaring Abel, who told
|
||
her his troubles between intervals of hammering gaily in time to his
|
||
Scotch songs. Valancy liked to hear him. Every stroke of his hammer
|
||
fell true to the note.
|
||
|
||
Old Abel Gay, in spite of his seventy years, was handsome still, in a
|
||
stately, patriarchal manner. His tremendous beard, falling down over
|
||
his blue flannel shirt, was still a flaming, untouched red, though his
|
||
shock of hair was white as snow, and his eyes were a fiery, youthful
|
||
blue. His enormous, reddish-white eyebrows were more like moustaches
|
||
than eyebrows. Perhaps this was why he always kept his upper lip
|
||
scrupulously shaved. His cheeks were red and his nose ought to have
|
||
been, but wasn’t. It was a fine, upstanding, aquiline nose, such as the
|
||
noblest Roman of them all might have rejoiced in. Abel was six feet two
|
||
in his stockings, broad-shouldered, lean-hipped. In his youth he had
|
||
been a famous lover, finding all women too charming to bind himself to
|
||
one. His years had been a wild, colourful panorama of follies and
|
||
adventures, gallantries, fortunes and misfortunes. He had been
|
||
forty-five before he married—a pretty slip of a girl whom his goings-on
|
||
killed in a few years. Abel was piously drunk at her funeral and
|
||
insisted on repeating the fifty-fifth chapter of Isaiah—Abel knew most
|
||
of the Bible and all the Psalms by heart—while the minister, whom he
|
||
disliked, prayed or tried to pray. Thereafter his house was run by an
|
||
untidy old cousin who cooked his meals and kept things going after a
|
||
fashion. In this unpromising environment little Cecilia Gay had grown
|
||
up.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had known “Cissy Gay” fairly well in the democracy of the
|
||
public school, though Cissy had been three years younger than she.
|
||
After they left school their paths diverged and she had seen nothing of
|
||
her. Old Abel was a Presbyterian. That is, he got a Presbyterian
|
||
preacher to marry him, baptise his child and bury his wife; and he knew
|
||
more about Presbyterian theology than most ministers, which made him a
|
||
terror to them in arguments. But Roaring Abel never went to church.
|
||
Every Presbyterian minister who had been in Deerwood had tried his
|
||
hand—once—at reforming Roaring Abel. But he had not been pestered of
|
||
late. Rev. Mr. Bently had been in Deerwood for eight years, but he had
|
||
not sought out Roaring Abel since the first three months of his
|
||
pastorate. He had called on Roaring Abel then and found him in the
|
||
theological stage of drunkenness—which always followed the sentimental
|
||
maudlin one, and preceded the roaring, blasphemous one. The eloquently
|
||
prayerful one, in which he realised himself temporarily and intensely
|
||
as a sinner in the hands of an angry God, was the final one. Abel never
|
||
went beyond it. He generally fell asleep on his knees and awakened
|
||
sober, but he had never been “dead drunk” in his life. He told Mr.
|
||
Bently that he was a sound Presbyterian and sure of his election. He
|
||
had no sins—that he knew of—to repent of.
|
||
|
||
“Have you never done anything in your life that you are sorry for?”
|
||
asked Mr. Bently.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel scratched his bushy white head and pretended to reflect.
|
||
|
||
“Well, yes,” he said finally. “There were some women I might have
|
||
kissed and didn’t. I’ve always been sorry for _that_.”
|
||
|
||
Mr. Bently went out and went home.
|
||
|
||
Abel had seen that Cissy was properly baptised—jovially drunk at the
|
||
same time himself. He made her go to church and Sunday School
|
||
regularly. The church people took her up and she was in turn a member
|
||
of the Mission Band, the Girls’ Guild and the Young Women’s Missionary
|
||
Society. She was a faithful, unobtrusive, sincere, little worker.
|
||
Everybody liked Cissy Gay and was sorry for her. She was so modest and
|
||
sensitive and pretty in that delicate, elusive fashion of beauty which
|
||
fades so quickly if life is not kept in it by love and tenderness. But
|
||
then liking and pity did not prevent them from tearing her in pieces
|
||
like hungry cats when the catastrophe came. Four years previously Cissy
|
||
Gay had gone up to a Muskoka hotel as a summer waitress. And when she
|
||
had come back in the fall she was a changed creature. She hid herself
|
||
away and went nowhere. The reason soon leaked out and scandal raged.
|
||
That winter Cissy’s baby was born. Nobody ever knew who the father was.
|
||
Cecily kept her poor pale lips tightly locked on her sorry secret.
|
||
Nobody dared ask Roaring Abel any questions about it. Rumour and
|
||
surmise laid the guilt at Barney Snaith’s door because diligent inquiry
|
||
among the other maids at the hotel revealed the fact that nobody there
|
||
had ever seen Cissy Gay “with a fellow.” She had “kept herself to
|
||
herself” they said, rather resentfully. “Too good for _our_ dances. And
|
||
now look!”
|
||
|
||
The baby had lived for a year. After its death Cissy faded away. Two
|
||
years ago Dr. Marsh had given her only six months to live—her lungs
|
||
were hopelessly diseased. But she was still alive. Nobody went to see
|
||
her. Women would not go to Roaring Abel’s house. Mr. Bently had gone
|
||
once, when he knew Abel was away, but the dreadful old creature who was
|
||
scrubbing the kitchen floor told him Cissy wouldn’t see any one. The
|
||
old cousin had died and Roaring Abel had had two or three disreputable
|
||
housekeepers—the only kind who could be prevailed on to go to a house
|
||
where a girl was dying of consumption. But the last one had left and
|
||
Roaring Abel had now no one to wait on Cissy and “do” for him. This was
|
||
the burden of his plaint to Valancy and he condemned the “hypocrites”
|
||
of Deerwood and its surrounding communities with some rich, meaty oaths
|
||
that happened to reach Cousin Stickles’ ears as she passed through the
|
||
hall and nearly finished the poor lady. Was Valancy listening to
|
||
_that_?
|
||
|
||
Valancy hardly noticed the profanity. Her attention was focussed on the
|
||
horrible thought of poor, unhappy, disgraced little Cissy Gay, ill and
|
||
helpless in that forlorn old house out on the Mistawis road, without a
|
||
soul to help or comfort her. And this in a nominally Christian
|
||
community in the year of grace nineteen and some odd!
|
||
|
||
“Do you mean to say that Cissy is all alone there now, with nobody to
|
||
do anything for her—_nobody_?”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, she can move about a bit and get a bite and sup when she wants it.
|
||
But she can’t work. It’s d——d hard for a man to work hard all day and
|
||
go home at night tired and hungry and cook his own meals. Sometimes I’m
|
||
sorry I kicked old Rachel Edwards out.” Abel described Rachel
|
||
picturesquely.
|
||
|
||
“Her face looked as if it had wore out a hundred bodies. And she moped.
|
||
Talk about temper! Temper’s nothing to moping. She was too slow to
|
||
catch worms, and dirty—d——d dirty. I ain’t unreasonable—I know a man
|
||
has to eat his peck before he dies—but she went over the limit. What
|
||
d’ye sp’ose I saw that lady do? She’d made some punkin jam—had it on
|
||
the table in glass jars with the tops off. The dawg got up on the table
|
||
and stuck his paw into one of them. What did she do? She jest took holt
|
||
of the dawg and wrung the syrup off his paw back into the jar! Then
|
||
screwed the top on and set it in the pantry. I sets open the door and
|
||
says to her, ‘Go!’ The dame went, and I fired the jars of punkin after
|
||
her, two at a time. Thought I’d die laughing to see old Rachel run—with
|
||
them punkin jars raining after her. She’s told everywhere I’m crazy, so
|
||
nobody’ll come for love or money.”
|
||
|
||
“But Cissy _must_ have some one to look after her,” insisted Valancy,
|
||
whose mind was centred on this aspect of the case. She did not care
|
||
whether Roaring Abel had any one to cook for him or not. But her heart
|
||
was wrung for Cecilia Gay.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, she gits on. Barney Snaith always drops in when he’s passing and
|
||
does anything she wants done. Brings her oranges and flowers and
|
||
things. There’s a Christian for you. Yet that sanctimonious, snivelling
|
||
parcel of St. Andrew’s people wouldn’t be seen on the same side of the
|
||
road with him. Their dogs’ll go to heaven before they do. And their
|
||
minister—slick as if the cat had licked him!”
|
||
|
||
“There are plenty of good people, both in St. Andrew’s and St.
|
||
George’s, who would be kind to Cissy if _you_ would behave yourself,”
|
||
said Valancy severely. “They’re afraid to go near your place.”
|
||
|
||
“Because I’m such a sad old dog? But I don’t bite—never bit any one in
|
||
my life. A few loose words spilled around don’t hurt any one. And I’m
|
||
not asking people to come. Don’t want ’em poking and prying about. What
|
||
I want is a housekeeper. If I shaved every Sunday and went to church
|
||
I’d get all the housekeepers I’d want. I’d be respectable then. But
|
||
what’s the use of going to church when it’s all settled by
|
||
predestination? Tell me that, Miss.”
|
||
|
||
“Is it?” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Yes. Can’t git around it nohow. Wish I could. I don’t want either
|
||
heaven or hell for steady. Wish a man could have ’em mixed in equal
|
||
proportions.”
|
||
|
||
“Isn’t that the way it is in this world?” said Valancy
|
||
thoughtfully—but rather as if her thought was concerned with something
|
||
else than theology.
|
||
|
||
“No, no,” boomed Abel, striking a tremendous blow on a stubborn nail.
|
||
“There’s too much hell here—entirely too much hell. That’s why I get
|
||
drunk so often. It sets you free for a little while—free from
|
||
yourself—yes, by God, free from predestination. Ever try it?”
|
||
|
||
“No, I’ve another way of getting free,” said Valancy absently. “But
|
||
about Cissy now. She _must_ have some one to look after her——”
|
||
|
||
“What are you harping on Sis for? Seems to me you ain’t bothered much
|
||
about her up to now. You never even come to see her. And she used to
|
||
like you so well.”
|
||
|
||
“I should have,” said Valancy. “But never mind. You couldn’t
|
||
understand. The point is—you must have a housekeeper.”
|
||
|
||
“Where am I to get one? I can pay decent wages if I could get a decent
|
||
woman. D’ye think I like old hags?”
|
||
|
||
“Will I do?” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XV
|
||
|
||
|
||
“Let us be calm,” said Uncle Benjamin. “Let us be perfectly calm.”
|
||
|
||
“Calm!” Mrs. Frederick wrung her hands. “How can I be calm—how could
|
||
anybody be calm under such a disgrace as this?”
|
||
|
||
“Why in the world did you let her go?” asked Uncle James.
|
||
|
||
“_Let_ her! How could I stop her, James? It seems she packed the big
|
||
valise and sent it away with Roaring Abel when he went home after
|
||
supper, while Christine and I were out in the kitchen. Then Doss
|
||
herself came down with her little satchel, dressed in her green serge
|
||
suit. I felt a terrible premonition. I can’t tell you how it was, but I
|
||
seemed to _know_ that Doss was going to do something dreadful.”
|
||
|
||
“It’s a pity you couldn’t have had your premonition a little sooner,”
|
||
said Uncle Benjamin drily.
|
||
|
||
“I said, ‘Doss, _where are you going_?’ and _she_ said, ‘I am going to
|
||
look for my Blue Castle.’”
|
||
|
||
“Wouldn’t you think _that_ would convince Marsh that her mind is
|
||
affected?” interjected Uncle James.
|
||
|
||
“And _I_ said, ‘Valancy, what _do_ you mean?’ And _she_ said, ‘I am
|
||
going to keep house for Roaring Abel and nurse Cissy. He will pay me
|
||
thirty dollars a month.’ I wonder I didn’t drop dead on the spot.”
|
||
|
||
“You shouldn’t have let her go—you shouldn’t have let her out of the
|
||
house,” said Uncle James. “You should have locked the door—anything——”
|
||
|
||
“She was between me and the front door. And you can’t realise how
|
||
determined she was. She was like a rock. That’s the strangest thing of
|
||
all about her. She used to be so good and obedient, and now she’s
|
||
neither to hold nor bind. But I said _everything_ I could think of to
|
||
bring her to her senses. I asked her if she had no regard for her
|
||
reputation. I said to her solemnly, ‘Doss, when a woman’s reputation is
|
||
once smirched nothing can ever make it spotless again. Your character
|
||
will be gone for ever if you go to Roaring Abel’s to wait on a bad girl
|
||
like Sis Gay.’ And she said, ‘I don’t believe Cissy was a bad girl, but
|
||
I don’t care if she was.’ Those were her very words, ‘I don’t care if
|
||
she was.’”
|
||
|
||
“She has lost all sense of decency,” exploded Uncle Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
“‘Cissy Gay is dying,’ she said, ‘and it’s a shame and disgrace that
|
||
she is dying in a Christian community with no one to do anything for
|
||
her. Whatever she’s been or done, she’s a human being.’”
|
||
|
||
“Well, you know, when it comes to that, I suppose she is,” said Uncle
|
||
James with the air of one making a splendid concession.
|
||
|
||
“I asked Doss if she had no regard for appearances. She said, ‘I’ve
|
||
been keeping up appearances all my life. Now I’m going in for
|
||
realities. Appearances can go hang!’ _Go hang!_”
|
||
|
||
“An outrageous thing!” said Uncle Benjamin violently. “An outrageous
|
||
thing!”
|
||
|
||
Which relieved his feelings, but didn’t help any one else.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick wept. Cousin Stickles took up the refrain between her
|
||
moans of despair.
|
||
|
||
“I told her—we _both_ told her—that Roaring Abel had certainly killed
|
||
his wife in one of his drunken rages and would kill her. She laughed
|
||
and said, ‘I’m not afraid of Roaring Abel. He won’t kill _me_, and he’s
|
||
too old for me to be afraid of his gallantries.’ What did she mean?
|
||
What _are_ gallantries?”
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick saw that she must stop crying if she wanted to regain
|
||
control of the conversation.
|
||
|
||
“_I_ said to her, ‘Valancy, if you have no regard for your own
|
||
reputation and your family’s standing, have you none for _my_
|
||
feelings?’ She said, ‘None.’ Just like that, _‘None!’_”
|
||
|
||
“Insane people never _do_ have any regard for other people’s feelings,”
|
||
said Uncle Benjamin. “That’s one of the symptoms.”
|
||
|
||
“I broke out into tears then, and she said, ‘Come now, Mother, be a
|
||
good sport. I’m going to do an act of Christian charity, and as for the
|
||
damage it will do my reputation, why, you know I haven’t any
|
||
matrimonial chances anyhow, so what does it matter?’ And with that she
|
||
turned and went out.”
|
||
|
||
“The last words I said to her,” said Cousin Stickles pathetically,
|
||
“were, ‘Who will rub my back at nights now?’ And she said—she said—but
|
||
no, I cannot repeat it.”
|
||
|
||
“Nonsense,” said Uncle Benjamin. “Out with it. This is no time to be
|
||
squeamish.”
|
||
|
||
“She said”—Cousin Stickles’ voice was little more than a whisper—“she
|
||
said—_‘Oh, darn!’_”
|
||
|
||
“To think I should have lived to hear my daughter swearing!” sobbed
|
||
Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“It—it was only imitation swearing,” faltered Cousin Stickles, desirous
|
||
of smoothing things over now that the worst was out. But she had
|
||
_never_ told about the bannister.
|
||
|
||
“It will be only a step from that to real swearing,” said Uncle James
|
||
sternly.
|
||
|
||
“The worst of this”—Mrs. Frederick hunted for a dry spot on her
|
||
handkerchief—“is that every one will know now that she is deranged. We
|
||
can’t keep it a secret any longer. Oh, I cannot bear it!”
|
||
|
||
“You should have been stricter with her when she was young,” said Uncle
|
||
Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t see how I could have been,” said Mrs. Frederick—truthfully
|
||
enough.
|
||
|
||
“The worst feature of the case is that that Snaith scoundrel is always
|
||
hanging around Roaring Abel’s,” said Uncle James. “I shall be thankful
|
||
if nothing worse comes of this mad freak than a few weeks at Roaring
|
||
Abel’s. Cissy Gay _can’t_ live much longer.”
|
||
|
||
“And she didn’t even take her flannel petticoat!” lamented Cousin
|
||
Stickles.
|
||
|
||
“I’ll see Ambrose Marsh again about this,” said Uncle Benjamin—meaning
|
||
Valancy, not the flannel petticoat.
|
||
|
||
“I’ll see Lawyer Ferguson,” said Uncle James.
|
||
|
||
“Meanwhile,” added Uncle Benjamin, “let us be calm.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XVI
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy had walked out to Roaring Abel’s house on the Mistawis road
|
||
under a sky of purple and amber, with a queer exhilaration and
|
||
expectancy in her heart. Back there, behind her, her mother and Cousin
|
||
Stickles were crying—over themselves, not over her. But here the wind
|
||
was in her face, soft, dew-wet, cool, blowing along the grassy roads.
|
||
Oh, she loved the wind! The robins were whistling sleepily in the firs
|
||
along the way and the moist air was fragrant with the tang of balsam.
|
||
Big cars went purring past in the violet dusk—the stream of summer
|
||
tourists to Muskoka had already begun—but Valancy did not envy any of
|
||
their occupants. Muskoka cottages might be charming, but beyond, in the
|
||
sunset skies, among the spires of the firs, her Blue Castle towered.
|
||
She brushed the old years and habits and inhibitions away from her like
|
||
dead leaves. She would _not_ be littered with them.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel’s rambling, tumble-down old house was situated about three
|
||
miles from the village, on the very edge of “up back,” as the sparsely
|
||
settled, hilly, wooded country around Mistawis was called vernacularly.
|
||
It did not, it must be confessed, look much like a Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
It had once been a snug place enough in the days when Abel Gay had been
|
||
young and prosperous, and the punning, arched sign over the gate—“A.
|
||
Gay, Carpenter,” had been fine and freshly painted. Now it was a faded,
|
||
dreary old place, with a leprous, patched roof and shutters hanging
|
||
askew. Abel never seemed to do any carpenter jobs about his own house.
|
||
It had a listless air, as if tired of life. There was a dwindling grove
|
||
of ragged, crone-like old spruces behind it. The garden, which Cissy
|
||
used to keep neat and pretty, had run wild. On two sides of the house
|
||
were fields full of nothing but mulleins. Behind the house was a long
|
||
stretch of useless barrens, full of scrub pines and spruces, with here
|
||
and there a blossoming bit of wild cherry, running back to a belt of
|
||
timber on the shores of Lake Mistawis, two miles away. A rough, rocky,
|
||
boulder-strewn lane ran through it to the woods—a lane white with
|
||
pestiferous, beautiful daisies.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel met Valancy at the door.
|
||
|
||
“So you’ve come,” he said incredulously. “I never s’posed that ruck of
|
||
Stirlings would let you.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy showed all her pointed teeth in a grin.
|
||
|
||
“They couldn’t stop me.”
|
||
|
||
“I didn’t think you’d so much spunk,” said Roaring Abel admiringly.
|
||
“And look at the nice ankles of her,” he added, as he stepped aside to
|
||
let her in.
|
||
|
||
If Cousin Stickles had heard this she would have been certain that
|
||
Valancy’s doom, earthly and unearthly, was sealed. But Abel’s
|
||
superannuated gallantry did not worry Valancy. Besides, this was the
|
||
first compliment she had ever received in her life and she found
|
||
herself liking it. She sometimes suspected she had nice ankles, but
|
||
nobody had ever mentioned it before. In the Stirling clan ankles were
|
||
among the unmentionables.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel took her into the kitchen, where Cissy Gay was lying on
|
||
the sofa, breathing quickly, with little scarlet spots on her hollow
|
||
cheeks. Valancy had not seen Cecilia Gay for years. Then she had been
|
||
such a pretty creature, a slight, blossom-like girl, with soft, golden
|
||
hair, clear-cut, almost waxen features, and large, beautiful blue eyes.
|
||
She was shocked at the change in her. Could this be sweet Cissy—this
|
||
pitiful little thing that looked like a tired, broken flower? She had
|
||
wept all the beauty out of her eyes; they looked too big—enormous—in
|
||
her wasted face. The last time Valancy had seen Cecilia Gay those
|
||
faded, piteous eyes had been limpid, shadowy blue pools aglow with
|
||
mirth. The contrast was so terrible that Valancy’s own eyes filled with
|
||
tears. She knelt down by Cissy and put her arms about her.
|
||
|
||
“Cissy dear, I’ve come to look after you. I’ll stay with you
|
||
till—till—as long as you want me.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh!” Cissy put her thin arms about Valancy’s neck. “Oh—_will_ you?
|
||
It’s been so—lonely. I can wait on myself—but it’s been so _lonely_.
|
||
It—would just be like—heaven—to have some one here—like you. You were
|
||
always—so sweet to me—long ago.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy held Cissy close. She was suddenly happy. Here was some one who
|
||
needed her—some one she could help. She was no longer a superfluity.
|
||
Old things had passed away; everything had become new.
|
||
|
||
“Most things are predestinated, but some are just darn sheer luck,”
|
||
said Roaring Abel, complacently smoking his pipe in the corner.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XVII
|
||
|
||
|
||
When Valancy had lived for a week at Roaring Abel’s she felt as if
|
||
years had separated her from her old life and all the people she had
|
||
known in it. They were beginning to seem remote—dream-like—far-away—and
|
||
as the days went on they seemed still more so, until they ceased to
|
||
matter altogether.
|
||
|
||
She was happy. Nobody ever bothered her with conundrums or insisted on
|
||
giving her Purple Pills. Nobody called her Doss or worried her about
|
||
catching cold. There were no quilts to piece, no abominable
|
||
rubber-plant to water, no ice-cold maternal tantrums to endure. She
|
||
could be alone whenever she liked, go to bed when she liked, sneeze
|
||
when she liked. In the long, wondrous, northern twilights, when Cissy
|
||
was asleep and Roaring Abel away, she could sit for hours on the shaky
|
||
back verandah steps, looking out over the barrens to the hills beyond,
|
||
covered with their fine, purple bloom, listening to the friendly wind
|
||
singing wild, sweet melodies in the little spruces, and drinking in the
|
||
aroma of the sunned grasses, until darkness flowed over the landscape
|
||
like a cool, welcome wave.
|
||
|
||
Sometimes of an afternoon, when Cissy was strong enough, the two girls
|
||
went into the barrens and looked at the wood-flowers. But they did not
|
||
pick any. Valancy had read to Cissy the gospel thereof according to
|
||
John Foster: “It is a pity to gather wood-flowers. They lose half their
|
||
witchery away from the green and the flicker. The way to enjoy
|
||
wood-flowers is to track them down to their remote haunts—gloat over
|
||
them—and then leave them with backward glances, taking with us only the
|
||
beguiling memory of their grace and fragrance.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy was in the midst of realities after a lifetime of unrealities.
|
||
And busy—very busy. The house had to be cleaned. Not for nothing had
|
||
Valancy been brought up in the Stirling habits of neatness and
|
||
cleanliness. If she found satisfaction in cleaning dirty rooms she got
|
||
her fill of it there. Roaring Abel thought she was foolish to bother
|
||
doing so much more than she was asked to do, but he did not interfere
|
||
with her. He was very well satisfied with his bargain. Valancy was a
|
||
good cook. Abel said she got a flavour into things. The only fault he
|
||
found with her was that she did not sing at her work.
|
||
|
||
“Folks should always sing at their work,” he insisted. “Sounds
|
||
cheerful-like.”
|
||
|
||
“Not always,” retorted Valancy. “Fancy a butcher singing at his work.
|
||
Or an undertaker.”
|
||
|
||
Abel burst into his great broad laugh.
|
||
|
||
“There’s no getting the better of you. You’ve got an answer every time.
|
||
I should think the Stirlings would be glad to be rid of you. _They_
|
||
don’t like being sassed back.”
|
||
|
||
During the day Abel was generally away from home—if not working, then
|
||
shooting or fishing with Barney Snaith. He generally came home at
|
||
nights—always very late and often very drunk. The first night they
|
||
heard him come howling into the yard, Cissy had told Valancy not to be
|
||
afraid.
|
||
|
||
“Father never does anything—he just makes a noise.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy, lying on the sofa in Cissy’s room, where she had elected to
|
||
sleep, lest Cissy should need attention in the night—Cissy would never
|
||
have called her—was not at all afraid, and said so. By the time Abel
|
||
had got his horses put away, the roaring stage had passed and he was in
|
||
his room at the end of the hall crying and praying. Valancy could still
|
||
hear his dismal moans when she went calmly to sleep. For the most part,
|
||
Abel was a good-natured creature, but occasionally he had a temper.
|
||
Once Valancy asked him coolly:
|
||
|
||
“What is the use of getting in a rage?”
|
||
|
||
“It’s such a d——d relief,” said Abel.
|
||
|
||
They both burst out laughing together.
|
||
|
||
“You’re a great little sport,” said Abel admiringly. “Don’t mind my bad
|
||
French. I don’t mean a thing by it. Jest habit. Say, I like a woman
|
||
that ain’t afraid to speak up to me. Sis there was always too meek—too
|
||
meek. That’s why she got adrift. I like you.”
|
||
|
||
“All the same,” said Valancy determinedly, “there is no use in sending
|
||
things to hell as you’re always doing. And I’m _not_ going to have you
|
||
tracking mud all over a floor I’ve just scrubbed. You _must_ use the
|
||
scraper whether you consign it to perdition or not.”
|
||
|
||
Cissy loved the cleanness and neatness. She had kept it so, too, until
|
||
her strength failed. She was very pitifully happy because she had
|
||
Valancy with her. It had been so terrible—the long, lonely days and
|
||
nights with no companionship save those dreadful old women who came to
|
||
work. Cissy had hated and feared them. She clung to Valancy like a
|
||
child.
|
||
|
||
There was no doubt that Cissy was dying. Yet at no time did she seem
|
||
alarmingly ill. She did not even cough a great deal. Most days she was
|
||
able to get up and dress—sometimes even to work about in the garden or
|
||
the barrens for an hour or two. For a few weeks after Valancy’s coming
|
||
she seemed so much better that Valancy began to hope she might get
|
||
well. But Cissy shook her head.
|
||
|
||
“No, I can’t get well. My lungs are almost gone. And I—don’t want to.
|
||
I’m so tired, Valancy. Only dying can rest me. But it’s lovely to have
|
||
you here—you’ll never know how much it means to me. But Valancy—you
|
||
work too hard. You don’t need to—Father only wants his meals cooked. I
|
||
don’t think you are strong yourself. You turn so pale sometimes. And
|
||
those drops you take. _Are_ you well, dear?”
|
||
|
||
“I’m all right,” said Valancy lightly. She would not have Cissy
|
||
worried. “And I’m not working hard. I’m glad to have some work to
|
||
do—something that really wants to be done.”
|
||
|
||
“Then”—Cissy slipped her hand wistfully into Valancy’s—“don’t let’s
|
||
talk any more about my being sick. Let’s just forget it. Let’s pretend
|
||
I’m a little girl again—and you have come here to play with me. I used
|
||
to wish that long ago—wish that you could come. I knew you couldn’t, of
|
||
course. But how I did wish it! You always seemed so different from the
|
||
other girls—so kind and sweet—and as if you had something in yourself
|
||
nobody knew about—some dear, pretty secret. _Had_ you, Valancy?”
|
||
|
||
“I had my Blue Castle,” said Valancy, laughing a little. She was
|
||
pleased that Cissy had thought of her like this. She had never
|
||
suspected that anybody liked or admired or wondered about her. She told
|
||
Cissy all about her Blue Castle. She had never told any one about it
|
||
before.
|
||
|
||
“Every one has a Blue Castle, I think,” said Cissy softly. “Only every
|
||
one has a different name for it. _I_ had mine—once.”
|
||
|
||
She put her two thin little hands over her face. She did not tell
|
||
Valancy—then—who had destroyed her Blue Castle. But Valancy knew that,
|
||
whoever it was, it was not Barney Snaith.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XVIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy was acquainted with Barney by now—well acquainted, it seemed,
|
||
though she had spoken to him only a few times. But then she had felt
|
||
just as well acquainted with him the first time they had met. She had
|
||
been in the garden at twilight, hunting for a few stalks of white
|
||
narcissus for Cissy’s room when she heard that terrible old Grey
|
||
Slosson coming down through the woods from Mistawis—one could hear it
|
||
miles away. Valancy did not look up as it drew near, thumping over the
|
||
rocks in that crazy lane. She had never looked up, though Barney had
|
||
gone racketting past every evening since she had been at Roaring
|
||
Abel’s. This time he did not racket past. The old Grey Slosson stopped
|
||
with even more terrible noises than it made going. Valancy was
|
||
conscious that Barney had sprung from it and was leaning over the
|
||
ramshackle gate. She suddenly straightened up and looked into his face.
|
||
Their eyes met—Valancy was suddenly conscious of a delicious weakness.
|
||
Was one of her heart attacks coming on?—But this was a new symptom.
|
||
|
||
His eyes, which she had always thought brown, now seen close, were deep
|
||
violet—translucent and intense. Neither of his eyebrows looked like the
|
||
other. He was thin—too thin—she wished she could feed him up a bit—she
|
||
wished she could sew the buttons on his coat—and make him cut his
|
||
hair—and shave every day. There was _something_ in his face—one hardly
|
||
knew what it was. Tiredness? Sadness? Disillusionment? He had dimples
|
||
in his thin cheeks when he smiled. All these thoughts flashed through
|
||
Valancy’s mind in that one moment while his eyes looked into hers.
|
||
|
||
“Good-evening, Miss Stirling.”
|
||
|
||
Nothing could be more commonplace and conventional. Any one might have
|
||
said it. But Barney Snaith had a way of saying things that gave them
|
||
poignancy. When he said good-evening you felt that it _was_ a good
|
||
evening and that it was partly his doing that it was. Also, you felt
|
||
that some of the credit was yours. Valancy felt all this vaguely, but
|
||
she couldn’t imagine why she was trembling from head to foot—it _must_
|
||
be her heart. If only he didn’t notice it!
|
||
|
||
“I’m going over to the Port,” Barney was saying. “Can I acquire merit
|
||
by getting or doing anything there for you or Cissy?”
|
||
|
||
“Will you get some salt codfish for us?” said Valancy. It was the only
|
||
thing she could think of. Roaring Abel had expressed a desire that day
|
||
for a dinner of boiled salt codfish. When her knights came riding to
|
||
the Blue Castle, Valancy had sent them on many a quest, but she had
|
||
never asked any of them to get her salt codfish.
|
||
|
||
“Certainly. You’re sure there’s nothing else? Lots of room in Lady Jane
|
||
Grey Slosson. And she always gets back _some_ time, does Lady Jane.”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t think there’s anything more,” said Valancy. She knew he would
|
||
bring oranges for Cissy anyhow—he always did.
|
||
|
||
Barney did not turn away at once. He was silent for a little. Then he
|
||
said, slowly and whimsically:
|
||
|
||
“Miss Stirling, you’re a brick! You’re a whole cartload of bricks. To
|
||
come here and look after Cissy—under the circumstances.”
|
||
|
||
“There’s nothing so bricky about that,” said Valancy. “I’d nothing else
|
||
to do. And—I like it here. I don’t feel as if I’d done anything
|
||
specially meritorious. Mr. Gay is paying me fair wages. I never earned
|
||
any money before—and I like it.” It seemed so easy to talk to Barney
|
||
Snaith, someway—this terrible Barney Snaith of the lurid tales and
|
||
mysterious past—as easy and natural as if talking to herself.
|
||
|
||
“All the money in the world couldn’t buy what you’re doing for Cissy
|
||
Gay,” said Barney. “It’s splendid and fine of you. And if there’s
|
||
anything I can do to help you in any way, you have only to let me know.
|
||
If Roaring Abel ever tries to annoy you——”
|
||
|
||
“He doesn’t. He’s lovely to me. I like Roaring Abel,” said Valancy
|
||
frankly.
|
||
|
||
“So do I. But there’s one stage of his drunkenness—perhaps you haven’t
|
||
encountered it yet—when he sings ribald songs——”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, yes. He came home last night like that. Cissy and I just went to
|
||
our room and shut ourselves in where we couldn’t hear him. He
|
||
apologised this morning. I’m not afraid of any of Roaring Abel’s
|
||
stages.”
|
||
|
||
“Well, I’m sure he’ll be decent to you, apart from his inebriated
|
||
yowls,” said Barney. “And I’ve told him he’s got to stop damning things
|
||
when you’re around.”
|
||
|
||
“Why?” asked Valancy slily, with one of her odd, slanted glances and a
|
||
sudden flake of pink on each cheek, born of the thought that Barney
|
||
Snaith had actually done so much for _her_. “I often feel like damning
|
||
things myself.”
|
||
|
||
For a moment Barney stared. Was this elfin girl the little, old-maidish
|
||
creature who had stood there two minutes ago? Surely there was magic
|
||
and devilry going on in that shabby, weedy old garden.
|
||
|
||
Then he laughed.
|
||
|
||
“It will be a relief to have some one to do it for you, then. So you
|
||
don’t want anything but salt codfish?”
|
||
|
||
“Not tonight. But I dare say I’ll have some errands for you very often
|
||
when you go to Port Lawrence. I can’t trust Mr. Gay to remember to
|
||
bring all the things I want.”
|
||
|
||
Barney had gone away, then, in his Lady Jane, and Valancy stood in the
|
||
garden for a long time.
|
||
|
||
Since then he had called several times, walking down through the
|
||
barrens, whistling. How that whistle of his echoed through the spruces
|
||
on those June twilights! Valancy caught herself listening for it every
|
||
evening—rebuked herself—then let herself go. Why shouldn’t she listen
|
||
for it?
|
||
|
||
He always brought Cissy fruit and flowers. Once he brought Valancy a
|
||
box of candy—the first box of candy she had ever been given. It seemed
|
||
sacrilege to eat it.
|
||
|
||
She found herself thinking of him in season and out of season. She
|
||
wanted to know if he ever thought about her when she wasn’t before his
|
||
eyes, and, if so, what. She wanted to see that mysterious house of his
|
||
back on the Mistawis island. Cissy had never seen it. Cissy, though she
|
||
talked freely of Barney and had known him for five years, really knew
|
||
little more of him than Valancy herself.
|
||
|
||
“But he isn’t bad,” said Cissy. “Nobody need ever tell me he is. He
|
||
_can’t_ have done a thing to be ashamed of.”
|
||
|
||
“Then why does he live as he does?” asked Valancy—to hear somebody
|
||
defend him.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know. He’s a mystery. And of course there’s something behind
|
||
it, but I _know_ it isn’t disgrace. Barney Snaith simply couldn’t do
|
||
anything disgraceful, Valancy.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy was not so sure. Barney must have done _something_—sometime. He
|
||
was a man of education and intelligence. She had soon discovered that,
|
||
in listening to his conversations and wrangles with Roaring Abel—who
|
||
was surprisingly well read and could discuss any subject under the sun
|
||
when sober. Such a man wouldn’t bury himself for five years in Muskoka
|
||
and live and look like a tramp if there were not too good—or bad—a
|
||
reason for it. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she was
|
||
sure now that he had never been Cissy Gay’s lover. There was nothing
|
||
like _that_ between them. Though he was very fond of Cissy and she of
|
||
him, as any one could see. But it was a fondness that didn’t worry
|
||
Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“You don’t know what Barney has been to me, these past two years,”
|
||
Cissy had said simply. “_Everything_ would have been unbearable without
|
||
him.”
|
||
|
||
“Cissy Gay is the sweetest girl I ever knew—and there’s a man somewhere
|
||
I’d like to shoot if I could find him,” Barney had said savagely.
|
||
|
||
Barney was an interesting talker, with a knack of telling a great deal
|
||
about his adventures and nothing at all about himself. There was one
|
||
glorious rainy day when Barney and Abel swapped yarns all the afternoon
|
||
while Valancy mended tablecloths and listened. Barney told weird tales
|
||
of his adventures with “shacks” on trains while hoboing it across the
|
||
continent. Valancy thought she ought to think his stealing rides quite
|
||
dreadful, but didn’t. The story of his working his way to England on a
|
||
cattle-ship sounded more legitimate. And his yarns of the Yukon
|
||
enthralled her—especially the one of the night he was lost on the
|
||
divide between Gold Run and Sulphur Valley. He had spent two years out
|
||
there. Where in all this was there room for the penitentiary and the
|
||
other things?
|
||
|
||
If he were telling the truth. But Valancy knew he was.
|
||
|
||
“Found no gold,” he said. “Came away poorer than when I went. But such
|
||
a place to live! Those silences at the back of the north wind _got_ me.
|
||
I’ve never belonged to myself since.”
|
||
|
||
Yet he was not a great talker. He told a great deal in a few
|
||
well-chosen words—how well-chosen Valancy did not realise. And he had a
|
||
knack of saying things without opening his mouth at all.
|
||
|
||
“I like a man whose eyes say more than his lips,” thought Valancy.
|
||
|
||
But then she liked everything about him—his tawny hair—his whimsical
|
||
smiles—the little glints of fun in his eyes—his loyal affection for
|
||
that unspeakable Lady Jane—his habit of sitting with his hands in his
|
||
pockets, his chin sunk on his breast, looking up from under his
|
||
mismated eyebrows. She liked his nice voice which sounded as if it
|
||
might become caressing or wooing with very little provocation. She was
|
||
at times almost afraid to let herself think these thoughts. They were
|
||
so vivid that she felt as if the others _must_ know what she was
|
||
thinking.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve been watching a woodpecker all day,” he said one evening on the
|
||
shaky old back verandah. His account of the woodpecker’s doings was
|
||
satisfying. He had often some gay or cunning little anecdote of the
|
||
wood folk to tell them. And sometimes he and Roaring Abel smoked
|
||
fiercely the whole evening and never said a word, while Cissy lay in
|
||
the hammock swung between the verandah posts and Valancy sat idly on
|
||
the steps, her hands clasped over her knees, and wondered dreamily if
|
||
she were really Valancy Stirling and if it were only three weeks since
|
||
she had left the ugly old house on Elm Street.
|
||
|
||
The barrens lay before her in a white moon splendour, where dozens of
|
||
little rabbits frisked. Barney, when he liked, could sit down on the
|
||
edge of the barrens and lure those rabbits right to him by some
|
||
mysterious sorcery he possessed. Valancy had once seen a squirrel leap
|
||
from a scrub pine to his shoulder and sit there chattering to him. It
|
||
reminded her of John Foster.
|
||
|
||
It was one of the delights of Valancy’s new life that she could read
|
||
John Foster’s books as often and as long as she liked. She could read
|
||
them in bed if she wanted to. She read them all to Cissy, who loved
|
||
them. She also tried to read them to Abel and Barney, who did not love
|
||
them. Abel was bored and Barney politely refused to listen at all.
|
||
|
||
“Piffle,” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XIX
|
||
|
||
|
||
Of course, the Stirlings had not left the poor maniac alone all this
|
||
time or refrained from heroic efforts to rescue her perishing soul and
|
||
reputation. Uncle James, whose lawyer had helped him as little as his
|
||
doctor, came one day and, finding Valancy alone in the kitchen, as he
|
||
supposed, gave her a terrible talking-to—told her she was breaking her
|
||
mother’s heart and disgracing her family.
|
||
|
||
“But _why_?” said Valancy, not ceasing to scour her porridge pot
|
||
decently. “I’m doing honest work for honest pay. What is there in that
|
||
that is disgraceful?”
|
||
|
||
“Don’t quibble, Valancy,” said Uncle James solemnly. “This is no fit
|
||
place for you to be, and you know it. Why, I’m told that that jail-bird,
|
||
Snaith, is hanging around here every evening.”
|
||
|
||
“Not _every_ evening,” said Valancy reflectively. “No, not quite every
|
||
evening.”
|
||
|
||
“It’s—it’s insufferable!” said Uncle James violently. “Valancy, you
|
||
_must_ come home. We won’t judge you harshly. I assure you we won’t.
|
||
We will overlook all this.”
|
||
|
||
“Thank you,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Have you no sense of shame?” demanded Uncle James.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, yes. But the things _I_ am ashamed of are not the things _you_ are
|
||
ashamed of.” Valancy proceeded to rinse her dishcloth meticulously.
|
||
|
||
Still was Uncle James patient. He gripped the sides of his chair and
|
||
ground his teeth.
|
||
|
||
“We know your mind isn’t just right. We’ll make allowances. But you
|
||
_must_ come home. You shall not stay here with that drunken,
|
||
blasphemous old scoundrel——”
|
||
|
||
“Were you by any chance referring to _me_, _Mister_ Stirling?” demanded
|
||
Roaring Abel, suddenly appearing in the doorway of the back verandah
|
||
where he had been smoking a peaceful pipe and listening to “old Jim
|
||
Stirling’s” tirade with huge enjoyment. His red beard fairly bristled
|
||
with indignation and his huge eyebrows quivered. But cowardice was not
|
||
among James Stirling’s shortcomings.
|
||
|
||
“I was. And, furthermore, I want to tell you that you have acted an
|
||
iniquitous part in luring this weak and unfortunate girl away from her
|
||
home and friends, and I will have you punished yet for it——”
|
||
|
||
James Stirling got no further. Roaring Abel crossed the kitchen at a
|
||
bound, caught him by his collar and his trousers, and hurled him
|
||
through the doorway and over the garden paling with as little apparent
|
||
effort as he might have employed in whisking a troublesome kitten out
|
||
of the way.
|
||
|
||
“The next time you come back here,” he bellowed, “I’ll throw you
|
||
through the window—and all the better if the window is shut! Coming
|
||
here, thinking yourself God to put the world to rights!”
|
||
|
||
Valancy candidly and unashamedly owned to herself that she had seen few
|
||
more satisfying sights than Uncle James’ coat-tails flying out into the
|
||
asparagus bed. She had once been afraid of this man’s judgment. Now she
|
||
saw clearly that he was nothing but a rather stupid little village
|
||
tin-god.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel turned with his great broad laugh.
|
||
|
||
“He’ll think of that for years when he wakes up in the night. The
|
||
Almighty made a mistake in making so many Stirlings. But since they are
|
||
made, we’ve got to reckon with them. Too many to kill out. But if they
|
||
come here bothering you I’ll shoo ’em off before a cat could lick its
|
||
ear.”
|
||
|
||
The next time they sent Dr. Stalling. Surely Roaring Abel would not
|
||
throw him into asparagus beds. Dr. Stalling was not so sure of this and
|
||
had no great liking for the task. He did not believe Valancy Stirling
|
||
was out of her mind. She had always been queer. He, Dr. Stalling, had
|
||
never been able to understand her. Therefore, beyond doubt, she was
|
||
queer. She was only just a little queerer than usual now. And Dr.
|
||
Stalling had his own reasons for disliking Roaring Abel. When Dr.
|
||
Stalling had first come to Deerwood he had had a liking for long hikes
|
||
around Mistawis and Muskoka. On one of these occasions he had got lost
|
||
and after much wandering had fallen in with Roaring Abel with his gun
|
||
over his shoulder.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling had contrived to ask his question in about the most
|
||
idiotic manner possible. He said, “Can you tell me where I’m going?”
|
||
|
||
“How the devil should I know where you’re going, gosling?” retorted
|
||
Abel contemptuously.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling was so enraged that he could not speak for a moment or two
|
||
and in that moment Abel had disappeared in the woods. Dr. Stalling had
|
||
eventually found his way home, but he had never hankered to encounter
|
||
Abel Gay again.
|
||
|
||
Nevertheless he came now to do his duty. Valancy greeted him with a
|
||
sinking heart. She had to own to herself that she was terribly afraid
|
||
of Dr. Stalling still. She had a miserable conviction that if he shook
|
||
his long, bony finger at her and told her to go home, she dared not
|
||
disobey.
|
||
|
||
“Mr. Gay,” said Dr. Stalling politely and condescendingly, “may I see
|
||
Miss Stirling alone for a few minutes?”
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel was a little drunk—just drunk enough to be excessively
|
||
polite and very cunning. He had been on the point of going away when
|
||
Dr. Stalling arrived, but now he sat down in a corner of the parlour
|
||
and folded his arms.
|
||
|
||
“No, no, mister,” he said solemnly. “That wouldn’t do—wouldn’t do at
|
||
all. I’ve got the reputation of my household to keep up. I’ve got to
|
||
chaperone this young lady. Can’t have any sparkin’ going on here behind
|
||
my back.”
|
||
|
||
Outraged Dr. Stalling looked so terrible that Valancy wondered how Abel
|
||
could endure his aspect. But Abel was not worried at all.
|
||
|
||
“D’ye know anything about it, anyway?” he asked genially.
|
||
|
||
“About _what_?”
|
||
|
||
“Sparking,” said Abel coolly.
|
||
|
||
Poor Dr. Stalling, who had never married because he believed in a
|
||
celibate clergy, would not notice this ribald remark. He turned his
|
||
back on Abel and addressed himself to Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Miss Stirling, I am here in response to your mother’s wishes. She
|
||
begged me to come. I am charged with some messages from her. Will
|
||
you”—he wagged his forefinger—“will you hear them?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” said Valancy faintly, eyeing the forefinger. It had a hypnotic
|
||
effect on her.
|
||
|
||
“The first is this. If you will leave this—this——”
|
||
|
||
“House,” interjected Roaring Abel. “H-o-u-s-e. Troubled with an
|
||
impediment in your speech, ain’t you, Mister?”
|
||
|
||
“—this _place_ and return to your home, Mr. James Stirling will himself
|
||
pay for a good nurse to come here and wait on Miss Gay.”
|
||
|
||
Back of her terror Valancy smiled in secret. Uncle James must indeed
|
||
regard the matter as desperate when he would loosen his purse-strings
|
||
like that. At any rate, her clan no longer despised her or ignored her.
|
||
She had become important to them.
|
||
|
||
“That’s _my_ business, Mister,” said Abel. “Miss Stirling can go if she
|
||
pleases, or stay if she pleases. I made a fair bargain with her, and
|
||
she’s free to conclude it when she likes. She gives me meals that stick
|
||
to my ribs. She don’t forget to put salt in the porridge. She never
|
||
slams doors, and when she has nothing to say she don’t talk. That’s
|
||
uncanny in a woman, you know, Mister. I’m satisfied. If she isn’t,
|
||
she’s free to go. But no woman comes here in Jim Stirling’s pay. If any
|
||
one does”—Abel’s voice was uncannily bland and polite—“I’ll spatter the
|
||
road with her brains. Tell him that with A. Gay’s compliments.”
|
||
|
||
“Dr. Stalling, a nurse is not what Cissy needs,” said Valancy
|
||
earnestly. “She isn’t so ill as that, yet. What she wants is
|
||
companionship—somebody she knows and likes just to live with her. You
|
||
can understand that, I’m sure.”
|
||
|
||
“I understand that your motive is quite—ahem—commendable.” Dr. Stalling
|
||
felt that he was very broad-minded indeed—especially as in his secret
|
||
soul he did not believe Valancy’s motive _was_ commendable. He hadn’t
|
||
the least idea what she was up to, but he was sure her motive was not
|
||
commendable. When he could not understand a thing he straightway
|
||
condemned it. Simplicity itself! “But your first duty is to your
|
||
mother. _She_ needs you. She implores you to come home—she will forgive
|
||
everything if you will only come home.”
|
||
|
||
“That’s a pretty little thought,” remarked Abel meditatively, as he
|
||
ground some tobacco up in his hand.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling ignored him.
|
||
|
||
“She entreats, but I, Miss Stirling,”—Dr. Stalling remembered that he
|
||
was an ambassador of Jehovah—“_I command._ As your pastor and spiritual
|
||
guide, I command you to come home with me—this very day. Get your hat
|
||
and coat and come _now_.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling shook his finger at Valancy. Before that pitiless finger
|
||
she drooped and wilted visibly.
|
||
|
||
“She’s giving in,” thought Roaring Abel. “She’ll go with him. Beats
|
||
all, the power these preacher fellows have over women.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy _was_ on the point of obeying Dr. Stalling. She must go home
|
||
with him—and give up. She would lapse back to Doss Stirling again and
|
||
for her few remaining days or weeks be the cowed, futile creature she
|
||
had always been. It was her fate—typified by that relentless, uplifted
|
||
forefinger. She could no more escape from it than Roaring Abel from his
|
||
predestination. She eyed it as the fascinated bird eyes the snake.
|
||
Another moment—
|
||
|
||
“_Fear is the original sin_,” suddenly said a still, small voice away
|
||
back—back—back of Valancy’s consciousness. “_Almost all the evil in the
|
||
world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of
|
||
something._”
|
||
|
||
Valancy stood up. She was still in the clutches of fear, but her soul
|
||
was her own again. She would not be false to that inner voice.
|
||
|
||
“Dr. Stalling,” she said slowly, “I do not at present owe _any_ duty to
|
||
my mother. She is quite well; she has all the assistance and
|
||
companionship she requires; she does not need me at all. I _am_ needed
|
||
here. I am going to stay here.”
|
||
|
||
“There’s spunk for you,” said Roaring Abel admiringly.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling dropped his forefinger. One could not keep on shaking a
|
||
finger forever.
|
||
|
||
“Miss Stirling, is there _nothing_ that can influence you? Do you
|
||
remember your childhood days——”
|
||
|
||
“Perfectly. And hate them.”
|
||
|
||
“Do you realise what people will say? What they _are_ saying?”
|
||
|
||
“I can imagine it,” said Valancy, with a shrug of her shoulders. She
|
||
was suddenly free of fear again. “I haven’t listened to the gossip of
|
||
Deerwood teaparties and sewing circles twenty years for nothing. But,
|
||
Dr. Stalling, it doesn’t matter in the least to me what they say—not in
|
||
the least.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Stalling went away then. A girl who cared nothing for public
|
||
opinion! Over whom sacred family ties had no restraining influence! Who
|
||
hated her childhood memories!
|
||
|
||
Then Cousin Georgiana came—on her own initiative, for nobody would have
|
||
thought it worth while to send her. She found Valancy alone, weeding
|
||
the little vegetable garden she had planted, and she made all the
|
||
platitudinous pleas she could think of. Valancy heard her patiently.
|
||
Cousin Georgiana wasn’t such a bad old soul. Then she said:
|
||
|
||
“And now that you have got all that out of your system, Cousin
|
||
Georgiana, can you tell me how to make creamed codfish so that it will
|
||
not be as thick as porridge and as salt as the Dead Sea?”
|
||
|
||
* * * * * * *
|
||
|
||
“We’ll just have to _wait_,” said Uncle Benjamin. “After all, Cissy Gay
|
||
can’t live long. Dr. Marsh tells me she may drop off any day.”
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick wept. It would really have been so much easier to bear
|
||
if Valancy had died. She could have worn mourning then.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XX
|
||
|
||
|
||
When Abel Gay paid Valancy her first month’s wages—which he did
|
||
promptly, in bills reeking with the odour of tobacco and
|
||
whiskey—Valancy went into Deerwood and spent every cent of it. She got
|
||
a pretty green crêpe dress with a girdle of crimson beads, at a bargain
|
||
sale, a pair of silk stockings, to match, and a little crinkled green
|
||
hat with a crimson rose in it. She even bought a foolish little
|
||
beribboned and belaced nightgown.
|
||
|
||
She passed the house on Elm Street twice—Valancy never even thought
|
||
about it as “home”—but saw no one. No doubt her mother was sitting in
|
||
the room this lovely June evening playing solitaire—and cheating.
|
||
Valancy knew that Mrs. Frederick always cheated. She never lost a game.
|
||
Most of the people Valancy met looked at her seriously and passed her
|
||
with a cool nod. Nobody stopped to speak to her.
|
||
|
||
Valancy put on her green dress when she got home. Then she took it off
|
||
again. She felt so miserably undressed in its low neck and short
|
||
sleeves. And that low, crimson girdle around the hips seemed positively
|
||
indecent. She hung it up in the closet, feeling flatly that she had
|
||
wasted her money. She would never have the courage to wear that dress.
|
||
John Foster’s arraignment of fear had no power to stiffen her against
|
||
this. In this one thing habit and custom were still all-powerful. Yet
|
||
she sighed as she went down to meet Barney Snaith in her old
|
||
snuff-brown silk. That green thing had been very becoming—she had seen
|
||
so much in her one ashamed glance. Above it her eyes had looked like
|
||
odd brown jewels and the girdle had given her flat figure an entirely
|
||
different appearance. She wished she could have left it on. But there
|
||
were some things John Foster did not know.
|
||
|
||
Every Sunday evening Valancy went to the little Free Methodist church
|
||
in a valley on the edge of “up back”—a spireless little grey building
|
||
among the pines, with a few sunken graves and mossy gravestones in the
|
||
small, paling-encircled, grass-grown square beside it. She liked the
|
||
minister who preached there. He was so simple and sincere. An old man,
|
||
who lived in Port Lawrence and came out by the lake in a little
|
||
disappearing propeller boat to give a free service to the people of the
|
||
small, stony farms back of the hills, who would otherwise never have
|
||
heard any gospel message. She liked the simple service and the fervent
|
||
singing. She liked to sit by the open window and look out into the pine
|
||
woods. The congregation was always small. The Free Methodists were few
|
||
in number, poor and generally illiterate. But Valancy loved those
|
||
Sunday evenings. For the first time in her life she liked going to
|
||
church. The rumour reached Deerwood that she had “turned Free
|
||
Methodist” and sent Mrs. Frederick to bed for a day. But Valancy had
|
||
not turned anything. She went to the church because she liked it and
|
||
because in some inexplicable way it did her good. Old Mr. Towers
|
||
believed exactly what he preached and somehow it made a tremendous
|
||
difference.
|
||
|
||
Oddly enough, Roaring Abel disapproved of her going to the hill church
|
||
as strongly as Mrs. Frederick herself could have done. He had “no use
|
||
for Free Methodists. He was a Presbyterian.” But Valancy went in spite
|
||
of him.
|
||
|
||
“We’ll hear something worse than _that_ about her soon,” Uncle Benjamin
|
||
predicted gloomily.
|
||
|
||
They did.
|
||
|
||
Valancy could not quite explain, even to herself, just why she wanted
|
||
to go to that party. It was a dance “up back” at Chidley Corners; and
|
||
dances at Chidley Corners were not, as a rule, the sort of assemblies
|
||
where well-brought-up young ladies were found. Valancy knew it was
|
||
coming off, for Roaring Abel had been engaged as one of the fiddlers.
|
||
|
||
But the idea of going had never occurred to her until Roaring Abel
|
||
himself broached it at supper.
|
||
|
||
“You come with me to the dance,” he ordered. “It’ll do you good—put
|
||
some colour in your face. You look peaked—you want something to liven
|
||
you up.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy found herself suddenly wanting to go. She knew nothing at all
|
||
of what dances at Chidley Corners were apt to be like. Her idea of
|
||
dances had been fashioned on the correct affairs that went by that name
|
||
in Deerwood and Port Lawrence. Of course she knew the Corners’ dance
|
||
wouldn’t be just like them. Much more informal, of course. But so much
|
||
the more interesting. Why shouldn’t she go? Cissy was in a week of
|
||
apparent health and improvement. She wouldn’t mind staying alone in the
|
||
least. She entreated Valancy to go if she wanted to. And Valancy _did_
|
||
want to go.
|
||
|
||
She went to her room to dress. A rage against the snuff-brown silk
|
||
seized her. Wear _that_ to a party! Never. She pulled her green crêpe
|
||
from its hanger and put it on feverishly. It was nonsense to feel
|
||
so—so—naked—just because her neck and arms were bare. That was just her
|
||
old maidishness. She would not be ridden by it. On went the dress—the
|
||
slippers.
|
||
|
||
It was the first time she had worn a pretty dress since the organdies
|
||
of her early teens. And _they_ had never made her look like this.
|
||
|
||
If she only had a necklace or something. She wouldn’t feel so bare
|
||
then. She ran down to the garden. There were clovers there—great
|
||
crimson things growing in the long grass. Valancy gathered handfuls of
|
||
them and strung them on a cord. Fastened above her neck they gave her
|
||
the comfortable sensation of a collar and were oddly becoming. Another
|
||
circlet of them went round her hair, dressed in the low puffs that
|
||
became her. Excitement brought those faint pink stains to her face. She
|
||
flung on her coat and pulled the little, twisty hat over her hair.
|
||
|
||
“You look so nice and—and—different, dear,” said Cissy. “Like a green
|
||
moonbeam with a gleam of red in it, if there could be such a thing.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy stooped to kiss her.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t feel right about leaving you alone, Cissy.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I’ll be all right. I feel better tonight than I have for a long
|
||
while. I’ve been feeling badly to see you sticking here so closely on
|
||
my account. I hope you’ll have a nice time. I never was at a party at
|
||
the Corners, but I used to go sometimes, long ago, to dances up back.
|
||
We always had good times. And you needn’t be afraid of Father being
|
||
drunk tonight. He never drinks when he engages to play for a party.
|
||
But—there may be—liquor. What will you do if it gets rough?”
|
||
|
||
“Nobody would molest me.”
|
||
|
||
“Not seriously, I suppose. Father would see to that. But it _might_ be
|
||
noisy and—and unpleasant.”
|
||
|
||
“I won’t mind. I’m only going as a looker-on. I don’t expect to dance.
|
||
I just want to _see_ what a party up back is like. I’ve never seen
|
||
anything except decorous Deerwood.”
|
||
|
||
Cissy smiled rather dubiously. She knew much better than Valancy what a
|
||
party “up back” might be like if there should be liquor. But again
|
||
there mightn’t be.
|
||
|
||
“I hope you’ll enjoy it, dear,” she repeated.
|
||
|
||
Valancy enjoyed the drive there. They went early, for it was twelve
|
||
miles to Chidley Corners, and they had to go in Abel’s old, ragged
|
||
top-buggy. The road was rough and rocky, like most Muskoka roads, but
|
||
full of the austere charm of northern woods. It wound through
|
||
beautiful, purring pines that were ranks of enchantment in the June
|
||
sunset, and over the curious jade-green rivers of Muskoka, fringed by
|
||
aspens that were always quivering with some supernal joy.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel was excellent company, too. He knew all the stories and
|
||
legends of the wild, beautiful “up back,” and he told them to Valancy
|
||
as they drove along. Valancy had several fits of inward laughter over
|
||
what Uncle Benjamin and Aunt Wellington, _et al._, would feel and think
|
||
and say if they saw her driving with Roaring Abel in that terrible
|
||
buggy to a dance at Chidley Corners.
|
||
|
||
At first the dance was quiet enough, and Valancy was amused and
|
||
entertained. She even danced twice herself, with a couple of nice “up
|
||
back” boys who danced beautifully and told her she did, too.
|
||
|
||
Another compliment came her way—not a very subtle one, perhaps, but
|
||
Valancy had had too few compliments in her life to be over-nice on that
|
||
point. She overheard two of the “up back” young men talking about her
|
||
in the dark “lean-to” behind her.
|
||
|
||
“Know who that girl in green is?”
|
||
|
||
“Nope. Guess she’s from out front. The Port, maybe. Got a stylish look
|
||
to her.”
|
||
|
||
“No beaut but cute-looking, I’ll say. ’Jever see such eyes?”
|
||
|
||
The big room was decorated with pine and fir boughs, and lighted by
|
||
Chinese lanterns. The floor was waxed, and Roaring Abel’s fiddle,
|
||
purring under his skilled touch, worked magic. The “up back” girls were
|
||
pretty and prettily dressed. Valancy thought it the nicest party she
|
||
had ever attended.
|
||
|
||
By eleven o’clock she had changed her mind. A new crowd had arrived—a
|
||
crowd unmistakably drunk. Whiskey began to circulate freely. Very soon
|
||
almost all the men were partly drunk. Those in the porch and outside
|
||
around the door began howling “come-all-ye’s” and continued to howl
|
||
them. The room grew noisy and reeking. Quarrels started up here and
|
||
there. Bad language and obscene songs were heard. The girls, swung
|
||
rudely in the dances, became dishevelled and tawdry. Valancy, alone in
|
||
her corner, was feeling disgusted and repentant. Why had she ever come
|
||
to such a place? Freedom and independence were all very well, but one
|
||
should not be a little fool. She might have known what it would be
|
||
like—she might have taken warning from Cissy’s guarded sentences. Her
|
||
head was aching—she was sick of the whole thing. But what could she do?
|
||
She must stay to the end. Abel could not leave till then. And that
|
||
would probably be not till three or four in the morning.
|
||
|
||
The new influx of boys had left the girls far in the minority and
|
||
partners were scarce. Valancy was pestered with invitations to dance.
|
||
She refused them all shortly, and some of her refusals were not well
|
||
taken. There were muttered oaths and sullen looks. Across the room she
|
||
saw a group of the strangers talking together and glancing meaningly at
|
||
her. What were they plotting?
|
||
|
||
It was at this moment that she saw Barney Snaith looking in over the
|
||
heads of the crowd at the doorway. Valancy had two distinct
|
||
convictions—one was that she was quite safe now; the other was that
|
||
_this_ was why she had wanted to come to the dance. It had been such an
|
||
absurd hope that she had not recognised it before, but now she knew she
|
||
had come because of the possibility that Barney might be there, too.
|
||
She thought that perhaps she ought to be ashamed for this, but she
|
||
wasn’t. After her feeling of relief her next feeling was one of
|
||
annoyance with Barney for coming there unshaved. Surely he might have
|
||
enough self-respect to groom himself up decently when he went to a
|
||
party. There he was, bareheaded, bristly-chinned, in his old trousers
|
||
and his blue homespun shirt. Not even a coat. Valancy could have shaken
|
||
him in her anger. No wonder people believed everything bad of him.
|
||
|
||
But she was not afraid any longer. One of the whispering group left his
|
||
comrades and came across the room to her, through the whirling couples
|
||
that now filled it uncomfortably. He was a tall, broad-shouldered
|
||
fellow, not ill-dressed or ill-looking but unmistakably half drunk. He
|
||
asked Valancy to dance. Valancy declined civilly. His face turned
|
||
livid. He threw his arm about her and pulled her to him. His hot,
|
||
whiskied breath burned her face.
|
||
|
||
“We won’t have fine-lady airs here, my girl. If you ain’t too good to
|
||
come here you ain’t too good to dance with us. Me and my pals have been
|
||
watching you. You’ve got to give us each a turn and a kiss to boot.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy tried desperately and vainly to free herself. She was being
|
||
dragged out into the maze of shouting, stamping, yelling dancers. The
|
||
next moment the man who held her went staggering across the room from a
|
||
neatly planted blow on the jaw, knocking down whirling couples as he
|
||
went. Valancy felt her arm grasped.
|
||
|
||
“This way—quick,” said Barney Snaith. He swung her out through the open
|
||
window behind them, vaulted lightly over the sill and caught her hand.
|
||
|
||
“Quick—we must run for it—they’ll be after us.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy ran as she had never run before, clinging tight to Barney’s
|
||
hand, wondering why she did not drop dead in such a mad scamper.
|
||
Suppose she did! What a scandal it would make for her poor people. For
|
||
the first time Valancy felt a little sorry for them. Also, she felt
|
||
glad that she had escaped from that horrible row. Also, glad that she
|
||
was holding tight to Barney’s hand. Her feelings were badly mixed and
|
||
she had never had so many in such a brief time in her life.
|
||
|
||
They finally reached a quiet corner in the pine woods. The pursuit had
|
||
taken a different direction and the whoops and yells behind them were
|
||
growing faint. Valancy, out of breath, with a crazily beating heart,
|
||
collapsed on the trunk of a fallen pine.
|
||
|
||
“Thanks,” she gasped.
|
||
|
||
“What a goose you were to come to such a place!” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
“I—didn’t—know—it—would—be like this,” protested Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“You _should_ have known. Chidley Corners!”
|
||
|
||
“It—was—just—a name—to me.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy knew Barney could not realise how ignorant she was of the
|
||
regions “up back.” She had lived in Deerwood all her life and of course
|
||
he supposed she knew. He didn’t know how she had been brought up. There
|
||
was no use trying to explain.
|
||
|
||
“When I drifted in at Abel’s this evening and Cissy told me you’d come
|
||
here I was amazed. And downright scared. Cissy told me she was worried
|
||
about you but hadn’t liked to say anything to dissuade you for fear
|
||
you’d think she was thinking selfishly about herself. So I came on up
|
||
here instead of going to Deerwood.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy felt a sudden delightful glow irradiating soul and body under
|
||
the dark pines. So he had actually come up to look after her.
|
||
|
||
“As soon as they stop hunting for us we’ll sneak around to the Muskoka
|
||
road. I left Lady Jane down there. I’ll take you home. I suppose you’ve
|
||
had enough of your party.”
|
||
|
||
“Quite,” said Valancy meekly. The first half of the way home neither of
|
||
them said anything. It would not have been much use. Lady Jane made so
|
||
much noise they could not have heard each other. Anyway, Valancy did
|
||
not feel conversationally inclined. She was ashamed of the whole
|
||
affair—ashamed of her folly in going—ashamed of being found in such a
|
||
place by Barney Snaith. By Barney Snaith, reputed jail-breaker,
|
||
infidel, forger and defaulter. Valancy’s lips twitched in the darkness
|
||
as she thought of it. But she _was_ ashamed.
|
||
|
||
And yet she was enjoying herself—was full of a strange
|
||
exultation—bumping over that rough road beside Barney Snaith. The big
|
||
trees shot by them. The tall mulleins stood up along the road in stiff,
|
||
orderly ranks like companies of soldiers. The thistles looked like
|
||
drunken fairies or tipsy elves as their car-lights passed over them.
|
||
This was the first time she had even been in a car. After all, she
|
||
liked it. She was not in the least afraid, with Barney at the wheel.
|
||
Her spirits rose rapidly as they tore along. She ceased to feel
|
||
ashamed. She ceased to feel anything except that she was part of a
|
||
comet rushing gloriously through the night of space.
|
||
|
||
All at once, just where the pine woods frayed out to the scrub barrens,
|
||
Lady Jane became quiet—too quiet. Lady Jane slowed down quietly—and
|
||
stopped.
|
||
|
||
Barney uttered an aghast exclamation. Got out. Investigated. Came
|
||
apologetically back.
|
||
|
||
“I’m a doddering idiot. Out of gas. I knew I was short when I left
|
||
home, but I meant to fill up in Deerwood. Then I forgot all about it in
|
||
my hurry to get to the Corners.”
|
||
|
||
“What can we do?” asked Valancy coolly.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know. There’s no gas nearer than Deerwood, nine miles away.
|
||
And I don’t dare leave you here alone. There are always tramps on this
|
||
road—and some of those crazy fools back at the Corners may come
|
||
straggling along presently. There were boys there from the Port. As far
|
||
as I can see, the best thing to do is for us just to sit patiently here
|
||
until some car comes along and lends us enough gas to get to Roaring
|
||
Abel’s with.”
|
||
|
||
“Well, what’s the matter with that?” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“We may have to sit here all night,” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
“I don’t mind,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Barney gave a short laugh. “If you don’t, I needn’t. I haven’t any
|
||
reputation to lose.”
|
||
|
||
“Nor I,” said Valancy comfortably.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXI
|
||
|
||
|
||
“We’ll just sit here,” said Barney, “and if we think of anything worth
|
||
while saying we’ll say it. Otherwise, not. Don’t imagine you’re bound
|
||
to talk to me.”
|
||
|
||
“John Foster says,” quoted Valancy, “‘If you can sit in silence with a
|
||
person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable, you and that
|
||
person can be friends. If you cannot, friends you’ll never be and you
|
||
need not waste time in trying.’”
|
||
|
||
“Evidently John Foster says a sensible thing once in a while,” conceded
|
||
Barney.
|
||
|
||
They sat in silence for a long while. Little rabbits hopped across the
|
||
road. Once or twice an owl laughed out delightfully. The road beyond
|
||
them was fringed with the woven shadow lace of trees. Away off to the
|
||
southwest the sky was full of silvery little cirrus clouds above the
|
||
spot where Barney’s island must be.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was perfectly happy. Some things dawn on you slowly. Some
|
||
things come by lightning flashes. Valancy had had a lightning flash.
|
||
|
||
She knew quite well now that she loved Barney. Yesterday she had been
|
||
all her own. Now she was this man’s. Yet he had done nothing—said
|
||
nothing. He had not even looked at her as a woman. But that didn’t
|
||
matter. Nor did it matter what he was or what he had done. She loved
|
||
him without any reservations. Everything in her went out wholly to him.
|
||
She had no wish to stifle or disown her love. She seemed to be his so
|
||
absolutely that thought apart from him—thought in which he did not
|
||
predominate—was an impossibility.
|
||
|
||
She had realised, quite simply and fully, that she loved him, in the
|
||
moment when he was leaning on the car door, explaining that Lady Jane
|
||
had no gas. She had looked deep into his eyes in the moonlight and had
|
||
known. In just that infinitesimal space of time everything was changed.
|
||
Old things passed away and all things became new.
|
||
|
||
She was no longer unimportant, little, old maid Valancy Stirling. She
|
||
was a woman, full of love and therefore rich and significant—justified
|
||
to herself. Life was no longer empty and futile, and death could cheat
|
||
her of nothing. Love had cast out her last fear.
|
||
|
||
Love! What a searing, torturing, intolerably sweet thing it was—this
|
||
possession of body, soul and mind! With something at its core as fine
|
||
and remote and purely spiritual as the tiny blue spark in the heart of
|
||
the unbreakable diamond. No dream had ever been like this. She was no
|
||
longer solitary. She was one of a vast sisterhood—all the women who had
|
||
ever loved in the world.
|
||
|
||
Barney need never know it—though she would not in the least have minded
|
||
his knowing. But _she_ knew it and it made a tremendous difference to
|
||
her. Just to love! She did not ask to be loved. It was rapture enough
|
||
just to sit there beside him in silence, alone in the summer night in
|
||
the white splendour of moonshine, with the wind blowing down on them
|
||
out of the pine woods. She had always envied the wind. So free. Blowing
|
||
where it listed. Through the hills. Over the lakes. What a tang, what a
|
||
zip it had! What a magic of adventure! Valancy felt as if she had
|
||
exchanged her shop-worn soul for a fresh one, fire-new from the
|
||
workshop of the gods. As far back as she could look, life had been
|
||
dull—colourless—savourless. Now she had come to a little patch of
|
||
violets, purple and fragrant—hers for the plucking. No matter who or
|
||
what had been in Barney’s past—no matter who or what might be in his
|
||
future—no one else could ever have this perfect hour. She surrendered
|
||
herself utterly to the charm of the moment.
|
||
|
||
“Ever dream of ballooning?” said Barney suddenly.
|
||
|
||
“No,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“I do—often. Dream of sailing through the clouds—seeing the glories of
|
||
sunset—spending hours in the midst of a terrific storm with lightning
|
||
playing above and below you—skimming above a silver cloud floor under a
|
||
full moon—wonderful!”
|
||
|
||
“It does sound so,” said Valancy. “I’ve stayed on earth in my dreams.”
|
||
|
||
She told him about her Blue Castle. It was so easy to tell Barney
|
||
things. One felt he understood everything—even the things you didn’t
|
||
tell him. And then she told him a little of her existence before she
|
||
came to Roaring Abel’s. She wanted him to see why she had gone to the
|
||
dance “up back.”
|
||
|
||
“You see—I’ve never had any real life,” she said. “I’ve just—breathed.
|
||
Every door has always been shut to me.”
|
||
|
||
“But you’re still young,” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I know. Yes, I’m ‘still young’—but that’s so different from
|
||
_young_,” said Valancy bitterly. For a moment she was tempted to tell
|
||
Barney why her years had nothing to do with her future; but she did
|
||
not. She was not going to think of death tonight.
|
||
|
||
“Though I never was really young,” she went on—“until tonight,” she
|
||
added in her heart. “I never had a life like other girls. You couldn’t
|
||
understand. Why,”—she had a desperate desire that Barney should know
|
||
the worst about her—“I didn’t even love my mother. Isn’t it awful that
|
||
I don’t love my mother?”
|
||
|
||
“Rather awful—for her,” said Barney drily.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, she didn’t know it. She took my love for granted. And I wasn’t any
|
||
use or comfort to her or anybody. I was just a—a—vegetable. And I got
|
||
tired of it. That’s why I came to keep house for Mr. Gay and look after
|
||
Cissy.”
|
||
|
||
“And I suppose your people thought you’d gone mad.”
|
||
|
||
“They did—and do—literally,” said Valancy. “But it’s a comfort to them.
|
||
They’d rather believe me mad than bad. There’s no other alternative.
|
||
But I’ve been _living_ since I came to Mr. Gay’s. It’s been a
|
||
delightful experience. I suppose I’ll pay for it when I have to go
|
||
back—but I’ll have _had_ it.”
|
||
|
||
“That’s true,” said Barney. “If you buy your experience it’s your own.
|
||
So it’s no matter how much you pay for it. Somebody else’s experience
|
||
can never be yours. Well, it’s a funny old world.”
|
||
|
||
“Do you think it really is old?” asked Valancy dreamily. “I never
|
||
believe _that_ in June. It seems so young tonight—somehow. In that
|
||
quivering moonlight—like a young, white girl—waiting.”
|
||
|
||
“Moonlight here on the verge of up back is different from moonlight
|
||
anywhere else,” agreed Barney. “It always makes me feel so clean,
|
||
somehow—body and soul. And of course the age of gold always comes back
|
||
in spring.”
|
||
|
||
It was ten o’clock now. A dragon of black cloud ate up the moon. The
|
||
spring air grew chill—Valancy shivered. Barney reached back into the
|
||
innards of Lady Jane and clawed up an old, tobacco-scented overcoat.
|
||
|
||
“Put that on,” he ordered.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t you want it yourself?” protested Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“No. I’m not going to have you catching cold on my hands.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I won’t catch cold. I haven’t had a cold since I came to Mr.
|
||
Gay’s—though I’ve done the foolishest things. It’s funny, too—I used to
|
||
have them all the time. I feel so selfish taking your coat.”
|
||
|
||
“You’ve sneezed three times. No use winding up your ‘experience’ up
|
||
back with grippe or pneumonia.”
|
||
|
||
He pulled it up tight about her throat and buttoned it on her. Valancy
|
||
submitted with secret delight. How nice it was to have some one look
|
||
after you so! She snuggled down into the tobaccoey folds and wished the
|
||
night could last forever.
|
||
|
||
Ten minutes later a car swooped down on them from “up back.” Barney
|
||
sprang from Lady Jane and waved his hand. The car came to a stop beside
|
||
them. Valancy saw Uncle Wellington and Olive gazing at her in horror
|
||
from it.
|
||
|
||
So Uncle Wellington had got a car! And he must have been spending the
|
||
evening up at Mistawis with Cousin Herbert. Valancy almost laughed
|
||
aloud at the expression on his face as he recognised her. The pompous,
|
||
bewhiskered old humbug!
|
||
|
||
“Can you let me have enough gas to take me to Deerwood?” Barney was
|
||
asking politely. But Uncle Wellington was not attending to him.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy, how came you _here_!” he said sternly.
|
||
|
||
“By chance or God’s grace,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“With this jail-bird—at ten o’clock at night!” said Uncle Wellington.
|
||
|
||
Valancy turned to Barney. The moon had escaped from its dragon and in
|
||
its light her eyes were full of deviltry.
|
||
|
||
“_Are_ you a jail-bird?”
|
||
|
||
“Does it matter?” said Barney, gleams of fun in _his_ eyes.
|
||
|
||
“Not to me. I only asked out of curiosity,” continued Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Then I won’t tell you. I never satisfy curiosity.” He turned to Uncle
|
||
Wellington and his voice changed subtly.
|
||
|
||
“Mr. Stirling, I asked you if you could let me have some gas. If you
|
||
can, well and good. If not, we are only delaying you unnecessarily.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington was in a horrible dilemma. To give gas to this
|
||
shameless pair! But not to give it to them! To go away and leave them
|
||
there in the Mistawis woods—until daylight, likely. It was better to
|
||
give it to them and let them get out of sight before any one else saw
|
||
them.
|
||
|
||
“Got anything to get gas in?” he grunted surlily.
|
||
|
||
Barney produced a two-gallon measure from Lady Jane. The two men went
|
||
to the rear of the Stirling car and began manipulating the tap. Valancy
|
||
stole sly glances at Olive over the collar of Barney’s coat. Olive was
|
||
sitting grimly staring straight ahead with an outraged expression. She
|
||
did not mean to take any notice of Valancy. Olive had her own secret
|
||
reasons for feeling outraged. Cecil had been in Deerwood lately and of
|
||
course had heard all about Valancy. He agreed that her mind was
|
||
deranged and was exceedingly anxious to find out whence the derangement
|
||
had been inherited. It was a serious thing to have in the family—a very
|
||
serious thing. One had to think of one’s—descendants.
|
||
|
||
“She got it from the Wansbarras,” said Olive positively. “There’s
|
||
nothing like that in the Stirlings—nothing!”
|
||
|
||
“I hope not—I certainly hope not,” Cecil had responded dubiously. “But
|
||
then—to go out as a servant—for that is what it practically amounts to.
|
||
Your cousin!”
|
||
|
||
Poor Olive felt the implication. The Port Lawrence Prices were not
|
||
accustomed to ally themselves with families whose members “worked out.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy could not resist temptation. She leaned forward.
|
||
|
||
“Olive, does it hurt?”
|
||
|
||
Olive bit—stiffly.
|
||
|
||
“Does _what_ hurt?”
|
||
|
||
“Looking like that.”
|
||
|
||
For a moment Olive resolved she would take no further notice of
|
||
Valancy. Then duty came uppermost. She must not miss the opportunity.
|
||
|
||
“Doss,” she implored, leaning forward also, “won’t you come home—come
|
||
home tonight?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy yawned.
|
||
|
||
“You sound like a revival meeting,” she said. “You really do.”
|
||
|
||
“If you will come back——”
|
||
|
||
“All will be forgiven.”
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” said Olive eagerly. Wouldn’t it be splendid if _she_ could
|
||
induce the prodigal daughter to return? “We’ll never cast it up to you.
|
||
Doss, there are nights when I cannot sleep for thinking of you.”
|
||
|
||
“And me having the time of my life,” said Valancy, laughing.
|
||
|
||
“Doss, I can’t believe you’re bad. I’ve always said you couldn’t be
|
||
bad——”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t believe I can be,” said Valancy. “I’m afraid I’m hopelessly
|
||
proper. I’ve been sitting here for three hours with Barney Snaith and
|
||
he hasn’t even tried to kiss me. I wouldn’t have minded if he had,
|
||
Olive.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy was still leaning forward. Her little hat with its crimson rose
|
||
was tilted down over one eye. Olive stared. In the moonlight Valancy’s
|
||
eyes—Valancy’s smile—what had happened to Valancy! She looked—not
|
||
pretty—Doss couldn’t be pretty—but provocative, fascinating—yes,
|
||
abominably so. Olive drew back. It was beneath her dignity to say more.
|
||
After all, Valancy must be both mad _and_ bad.
|
||
|
||
“Thanks—that’s enough,” said Barney behind the car. “Much obliged, Mr.
|
||
Stirling. Two gallons—seventy cents. Thank you.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington climbed foolishly and feebly into his car. He wanted
|
||
to give Snaith a piece of his mind, but dared not. Who knew what the
|
||
creature might do if provoked? No doubt he carried firearms.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Wellington looked indecisively at Valancy. But Valancy had turned
|
||
her back on him and was watching Barney pour the gas into Lady Jane’s
|
||
maw.
|
||
|
||
“Drive on,” said Olive decisively. “There’s no use in waiting here. Let
|
||
me tell you what she said to me.”
|
||
|
||
“The little hussy! The shameless little hussy!” said Uncle Wellington.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXII
|
||
|
||
|
||
The next thing the Stirlings heard was that Valancy had been seen with
|
||
Barney Snaith in a movie theatre in Port Lawrence and after it at
|
||
supper in a Chinese restaurant there. This was quite true—and no one
|
||
was more surprised at it than Valancy herself. Barney had come along in
|
||
Lady Jane one dim twilight and told Valancy unceremoniously if she
|
||
wanted a drive to hop in.
|
||
|
||
“I’m going to the Port. Will you go there with me?”
|
||
|
||
His eyes were teasing and there was a bit of defiance in his voice.
|
||
Valancy, who did not conceal from herself that she would have gone
|
||
anywhere with him to any place, “hopped in” without more ado. They tore
|
||
into and through Deerwood. Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles, taking a
|
||
little air on the verandah, saw them whirl by in a cloud of dust and
|
||
sought comfort in each other’s eyes. Valancy, who in some dim
|
||
pre-existence had been afraid of a car, was hatless and her hair was
|
||
blowing wildly round her face. She would certainly come down with
|
||
bronchitis—and die at Roaring Abel’s. She wore a low-necked dress and
|
||
her arms were bare. That Snaith creature was in his shirt-sleeves,
|
||
smoking a pipe. They were going at the rate of forty miles an
|
||
hour—sixty, Cousin Stickles averred. Lady Jane could hit the pike when
|
||
she wanted to. Valancy waved her hand gaily to her relatives. As for
|
||
Mrs. Frederick, she was wishing she knew how to go into hysterics.
|
||
|
||
“Was it for this,” she demanded in hollow tones, “that I suffered the
|
||
pangs of motherhood?”
|
||
|
||
“I will _not_ believe,” said Cousin Stickles solemnly, “that our prayers
|
||
will not yet be answered.”
|
||
|
||
“Who—_who_ will protect that unfortunate girl when I am gone?” moaned
|
||
Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
As for Valancy, she was wondering if it could really be only a few
|
||
weeks since she had sat there with them on that verandah. Hating the
|
||
rubber-plant. Pestered with teasing questions like black flies. Always
|
||
thinking of appearances. Cowed because of Aunt Wellington’s teaspoons
|
||
and Uncle Benjamin’s money. Poverty-stricken. Afraid of everybody.
|
||
Envying Olive. A slave to moth-eaten traditions. Nothing to hope for or
|
||
expect.
|
||
|
||
And now every day was a gay adventure.
|
||
|
||
Lady Jane flew over the fifteen miles between Deerwood and the
|
||
Port—through the Port. The way Barney went past traffic policemen was
|
||
not holy. The lights were beginning to twinkle out like stars in the
|
||
clear, lemon-hued twilight air. This was the only time Valancy ever
|
||
really liked the town, and she was crazy with the delight of speeding.
|
||
Was it possible she had ever been afraid of a car? She was perfectly
|
||
happy, riding beside Barney. Not that she deluded herself into thinking
|
||
it had any significance. She knew quite well that Barney had asked her
|
||
to go on the impulse of the moment—an impulse born of a feeling of pity
|
||
for her and her starved little dreams. She was looking tired after a
|
||
wakeful night with a heart attack, followed by a busy day. She had so
|
||
little fun. He’d give her an outing for once. Besides, Abel was in the
|
||
kitchen, at the point of drunkenness where he was declaring he did not
|
||
believe in God and beginning to sing ribald songs. It was just as well
|
||
she should be out of the way for a while. Barney knew Roaring Abel’s
|
||
repertoire.
|
||
|
||
They went to the movie—Valancy had never been to a movie. And then,
|
||
finding a nice hunger upon them, they went and had fried
|
||
chicken—unbelievably delicious—in the Chinese restaurant. After which
|
||
they rattled home again, leaving a devastating trail of scandal behind
|
||
them. Mrs. Frederick gave up going to church altogether. She could not
|
||
endure her friends’ pitying glances and questions. But Cousin Stickles
|
||
went every Sunday. She said they had been given a cross to bear.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
On one of Cissy’s wakeful nights, she told Valancy her poor little
|
||
story. They were sitting by the open window. Cissy could not get her
|
||
breath lying down that night. An inglorious gibbous moon was hanging
|
||
over the wooded hills and in its spectral light Cissy looked frail and
|
||
lovely and incredibly young. A child. It did not seem possible that she
|
||
could have lived through all the passion and pain and shame of her
|
||
story.
|
||
|
||
“He was stopping at the hotel across the lake. He used to come over in
|
||
his canoe at night—we met in the pines down the shore. He was a young
|
||
college student—his father was a rich man in Toronto. Oh, Valancy, I
|
||
didn’t mean to be bad—I didn’t, indeed. But I loved him so—I love him
|
||
yet—I’ll always love him. And I—didn’t know—some things. I
|
||
didn’t—understand. Then his father came and took him away. And—after a
|
||
little—I found out—oh, Valancy,—I was so frightened. I didn’t know what
|
||
to do. I wrote him—and he came. He—he said he would marry me, Valancy.”
|
||
|
||
“And why—and why?——”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, Valancy, he didn’t love me any more. I saw that at a glance. He—he
|
||
was just offering to marry me because he thought he ought to—because he
|
||
was sorry for me. He wasn’t bad—but he was so young—and what was I that
|
||
he should keep on loving me?”
|
||
|
||
“Never mind making excuses for him,” said Valancy a bit shortly. “So
|
||
you wouldn’t marry him?”
|
||
|
||
“I couldn’t—not when he didn’t love me any more. Somehow—I can’t
|
||
explain—it seemed a worse thing to do than—the other. He—he argued a
|
||
little—but he went away. Do you think I did right, Valancy?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes, I do. _You_ did right. But he——”
|
||
|
||
“Don’t blame him, dear. Please don’t. Let’s not talk about him at all.
|
||
There’s no need. I wanted to tell you how it was—I didn’t want you to
|
||
think me bad——”
|
||
|
||
“I never did think so.”
|
||
|
||
“Yes, I felt that—whenever you came. Oh, Valancy, what you’ve been to
|
||
me! I can never tell you—but God will bless you for it. I know He
|
||
will—‘with what measure ye mete.’”
|
||
|
||
Cissy sobbed for a few minutes in Valancy’s arms. Then she wiped her
|
||
eyes.
|
||
|
||
“Well, that’s almost all. I came home. I wasn’t really so very unhappy.
|
||
I suppose I should have been—but I wasn’t. Father wasn’t hard on me.
|
||
And my baby was so sweet while he lived. I was even happy—I loved him
|
||
so much, the dear little thing. He was so sweet, Valancy—with such
|
||
lovely blue eyes—and little rings of pale gold hair like silk floss—and
|
||
tiny dimpled hands. I used to bite his satin-smooth little face all
|
||
over—softly, so as not to hurt him, you know——”
|
||
|
||
“I know,” said Valancy, wincing. “I know—a woman _always_ knows—and
|
||
dreams——”
|
||
|
||
“And he was _all_ mine. Nobody else had any claim on him. When he died,
|
||
oh, Valancy, I thought I must die too—I didn’t see how anybody could
|
||
endure such anguish and live. To see his dear little eyes and know he
|
||
would never open them again—to miss his warm little body nestled
|
||
against mine at night and think of him sleeping alone and cold, his wee
|
||
face under the hard frozen earth. It was so awful for the first
|
||
year—after that it was a little easier, one didn’t keep thinking ‘this
|
||
day last year’—but I was so glad when I found out I was dying.”
|
||
|
||
“‘Who could endure life if it were not for the hope of death?’”
|
||
murmured Valancy softly—it was of course a quotation from some book of
|
||
John Foster’s.
|
||
|
||
“I’m glad I’ve told you all about it,” sighed Cissy. “I wanted you to
|
||
know.”
|
||
|
||
Cissy died a few nights after that. Roaring Abel was away. When Valancy
|
||
saw the change that had come over Cissy’s face she wanted to telephone
|
||
for the doctor. But Cissy wouldn’t let her.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy, why should you? He can do nothing for me. I’ve known for
|
||
several days that—this—was near. Let me die in peace, dear—just holding
|
||
your hand. Oh, I’m so glad you’re here. Tell Father good-bye for me.
|
||
He’s always been as good to me as he knew how—and Barney. Somehow, I
|
||
think that Barney——”
|
||
|
||
But a spasm of coughing interrupted and exhausted her. She fell asleep
|
||
when it was over, still holding to Valancy’s hand. Valancy sat there in
|
||
the silence. She was not frightened—or even sorry. At sunrise Cissy
|
||
died. She opened her eyes and looked past Valancy at
|
||
something—something that made her smile suddenly and happily. And,
|
||
smiling, she died.
|
||
|
||
Valancy crossed Cissy’s hands on her breast and went to the open
|
||
window. In the eastern sky, amid the fires of sunrise, an old moon was
|
||
hanging—as slender and lovely as a new moon. Valancy had never seen an
|
||
old, old moon before. She watched it pale and fade until it paled and
|
||
faded out of sight in the living rose of day. A little pool in the
|
||
barrens shone in the sunrise like a great golden lily.
|
||
|
||
But the world suddenly seemed a colder place to Valancy. Again nobody
|
||
needed her. She was not in the least sorry Cecilia was dead. She was
|
||
only sorry for all her suffering in life. But nobody could ever hurt
|
||
her again. Valancy had always thought death dreadful. But Cissy had
|
||
died so quietly—so pleasantly. And at the very last—something—had made
|
||
up to her for everything. She was lying there now, in her white sleep,
|
||
looking like a child. Beautiful! All the lines of shame and pain gone.
|
||
|
||
Roaring Abel drove in, justifying his name. Valancy went down and told
|
||
him. The shock sobered him at once. He slumped down on the seat of his
|
||
buggy, his great head hanging.
|
||
|
||
“Cissy dead—Cissy dead,” he said vacantly. “I didn’t think it would ’a’
|
||
come so soon. Dead. She used to run down the lane to meet me with a
|
||
little white rose stuck in her hair. Cissy used to be a pretty little
|
||
girl. And a good little girl.”
|
||
|
||
“She has always been a good little girl,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXIV
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy herself made Cissy ready for burial. No hands but hers should
|
||
touch that pitiful, wasted little body. The old house was spotless on
|
||
the day of the funeral. Barney Snaith was not there. He had done all he
|
||
could to help Valancy before it—he had shrouded the pale Cecilia in
|
||
white roses from the garden—and then had gone back to his island. But
|
||
everybody else was there. All Deerwood and “up back” came. They forgave
|
||
Cissy splendidly at last. Mr. Bradly gave a very beautiful funeral
|
||
address. Valancy had wanted her old Free Methodist man, but Roaring
|
||
Abel was obdurate. He was a Presbyterian and no one but a Presbyterian
|
||
minister should bury _his_ daughter. Mr. Bradly was very tactful. He
|
||
avoided all dubious points and it was plain to be seen he hoped for the
|
||
best. Six reputable citizens of Deerwood bore Cecilia Gay to her grave
|
||
in decorous Deerwood cemetery. Among them was Uncle Wellington.
|
||
|
||
The Stirlings all came to the funeral, men and women. They had had a
|
||
family conclave over it. Surely now that Cissy Gay was dead Valancy
|
||
would come home. She simply could not stay there with Roaring Abel.
|
||
That being the case, the wisest course—decreed Uncle James—was to
|
||
attend the funeral—legitimise the whole thing, so to speak—show
|
||
Deerwood that Valancy had really done a most creditable deed in going
|
||
to nurse poor Cecilia Gay and that her family backed her up in it.
|
||
Death, the miracle worker, suddenly made the thing quite respectable.
|
||
If Valancy would return to home and decency while public opinion was
|
||
under its influence all might yet be well. Society was suddenly
|
||
forgetting all Cecilia’s wicked doings and remembering what a pretty,
|
||
modest little thing she had been—“and motherless, you know—motherless!”
|
||
It was the psychological moment—said Uncle James.
|
||
|
||
So the Stirlings went to the funeral. Even Cousin Gladys’ neuritis
|
||
allowed her to come. Cousin Stickles was there, her bonnet dripping all
|
||
over her face, crying as woefully as if Cissy had been her nearest and
|
||
dearest. Funerals always brought Cousin Stickles’ “own sad bereavement”
|
||
back.
|
||
|
||
And Uncle Wellington was a pall-bearer.
|
||
|
||
Valancy, pale, subdued-looking, her slanted eyes smudged with purple,
|
||
in her snuff-brown dress, moving quietly about, finding seats for
|
||
people, consulting in undertones with minister and undertaker,
|
||
marshalling the “mourners” into the parlour, was so decorous and proper
|
||
and Stirlingish that her family took heart of grace. This was not—could
|
||
not be—the girl who had sat all night in the woods with Barney
|
||
Snaith—who had gone tearing bareheaded through Deerwood and Port
|
||
Lawrence. This was the Valancy they knew. Really, surprisingly capable
|
||
and efficient. Perhaps she had always been kept down a bit too
|
||
much—Amelia really was rather strict—hadn’t had a chance to show what
|
||
was in her. So thought the Stirlings. And Edward Beck, from the Port
|
||
road, a widower with a large family who was beginning to take notice,
|
||
took notice of Valancy and thought she might make a mighty fine second
|
||
wife. No beauty—but a fifty-year-old widower, Mr. Beck told himself
|
||
very reasonably, couldn’t expect everything. Altogether, it seemed that
|
||
Valancy’s matrimonial chances were never so bright as they were at
|
||
Cecilia Gay’s funeral.
|
||
|
||
What the Stirlings and Edward Beck would have thought had they known
|
||
the back of Valancy’s mind must be left to the imagination. Valancy was
|
||
hating the funeral—hating the people who came to stare with curiosity
|
||
at Cecilia’s marble-white face—hating the smugness—hating the dragging,
|
||
melancholy singing—hating Mr. Bradly’s cautious platitudes. If she
|
||
could have had her absurd way, there would have been no funeral at all.
|
||
She would have covered Cissy over with flowers, shut her away from
|
||
prying eyes, and buried her beside her nameless little baby in the
|
||
grassy burying-ground under the pines of the “up back” church, with a
|
||
bit of kindly prayer from the old Free Methodist minister. She
|
||
remembered Cissy saying once, “I wish I could be buried deep in the
|
||
heart of the woods where nobody would ever come to say, ‘Cissy Gay is
|
||
buried here,’ and tell over my miserable story.”
|
||
|
||
But this! However, it would soon be over. Valancy knew, if the
|
||
Stirlings and Edward Beck didn’t, exactly what she intended to do then.
|
||
She had lain awake all the preceding night thinking about it and
|
||
finally deciding on it.
|
||
|
||
When the funeral procession had left the house, Mrs. Frederick sought
|
||
out Valancy in the kitchen.
|
||
|
||
“My child,” she said tremulously, “you’ll come home _now_?”
|
||
|
||
“Home,” said Valancy absently. She was getting on an apron and
|
||
calculating how much tea she must put to steep for supper. There would
|
||
be several guests from “up back”—distant relatives of the Gays’ who had
|
||
not remembered them for years. And she was so tired she wished she
|
||
could borrow a pair of legs from the cat.
|
||
|
||
“Yes, home,” said Mrs. Frederick, with a touch of asperity. “I suppose
|
||
you won’t dream of staying here _now_—alone with Roaring Abel.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, no, I’m not going to stay _here_,” said Valancy. “Of course, I’ll
|
||
have to stay for a day or two, to put the house in order generally. But
|
||
that will be all. Excuse me, Mother, won’t you? I’ve a frightful lot to
|
||
do—all those ‘up back’ people will be here to supper.”
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick retreated in considerable relief, and the Stirlings went
|
||
home with lighter hearts.
|
||
|
||
“We will just treat her as if nothing had happened when she comes
|
||
back,” decreed Uncle Benjamin. “That will be the best plan. Just as if
|
||
nothing had happened.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXV
|
||
|
||
|
||
On the evening of the day after the funeral Roaring Abel went off for a
|
||
spree. He had been sober for four whole days and could endure it no
|
||
longer. Before he went, Valancy told him she would be going away the
|
||
next day. Roaring Abel was sorry, and said so. A distant cousin from
|
||
“up back” was coming to keep house for him—quite willing to do so now
|
||
since there was no sick girl to wait on—but Abel was not under any
|
||
delusions concerning her.
|
||
|
||
“She won’t be like you, my girl. Well, I’m obliged to you. You helped
|
||
me out of a bad hole and I won’t forget it. And I won’t forget what you
|
||
did for Cissy. I’m your friend, and if you ever want any of the
|
||
Stirlings spanked and sot in a corner send for me. I’m going to wet my
|
||
whistle. Lord, but I’m dry! Don’t reckon I’ll be back afore tomorrow
|
||
night, so if you’re going home tomorrow, good-bye now.”
|
||
|
||
“I _may_ go home tomorrow,” said Valancy, “but I’m not going back to
|
||
Deerwood.”
|
||
|
||
“Not going——”
|
||
|
||
“You’ll find the key on the woodshed nail,” interrupted Valancy,
|
||
politely and unmistakably. “The dog will be in the barn and the cat in
|
||
the cellar. Don’t forget to feed her till your cousin comes. The pantry
|
||
is full and I made bread and pies today. Good-bye, Mr. Gay. You have
|
||
been very kind to me and I appreciate it.”
|
||
|
||
“We’ve had a d——d decent time of it together, and that’s a fact,” said
|
||
Roaring Abel. “You’re the best small sport in the world, and your
|
||
little finger is worth the whole Stirling clan tied together. Good-bye
|
||
and good-luck.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy went out to the garden. Her legs trembled a little, but
|
||
otherwise she felt and looked composed. She held something tightly in
|
||
her hand. The garden was lying in the magic of the warm, odorous July
|
||
twilight. A few stars were out and the robins were calling through the
|
||
velvety silences of the barrens. Valancy stood by the gate expectantly.
|
||
Would he come? If he did not——
|
||
|
||
He was coming. Valancy heard Lady Jane Grey far back in the woods. Her
|
||
breath came a little more quickly. Nearer—and nearer—she could see Lady
|
||
Jane now—bumping down the lane—nearer—nearer—he was there—he had sprung
|
||
from the car and was leaning over the gate, looking at her.
|
||
|
||
“Going home, Miss Stirling?”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know—yet,” said Valancy slowly. Her mind was made up, with no
|
||
shadow of turning, but the moment was very tremendous.
|
||
|
||
“I thought I’d run down and ask if there was anything I could do for
|
||
you,” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
Valancy took it with a canter.
|
||
|
||
“Yes, there is something you can do for me,” she said, evenly and
|
||
distinctly. “Will you marry me?”
|
||
|
||
For a moment Barney was silent. There was no particular expression on
|
||
his face. Then he gave an odd laugh.
|
||
|
||
“Come, now! I knew luck was just waiting around the corner for me. All
|
||
the signs have been pointing that way today.”
|
||
|
||
“Wait.” Valancy lifted her hand. “I’m in earnest—but I want to get my
|
||
breath after that question. Of course, with my bringing up, I realise
|
||
perfectly well that this is one of the things ‘a lady should not do.’”
|
||
|
||
“But why—why?”
|
||
|
||
“For two reasons.” Valancy was still a little breathless, but she
|
||
looked Barney straight in the eyes, while all the dead Stirlings
|
||
revolved rapidly in their graves and the living ones did nothing
|
||
because they did not know that Valancy was at that moment proposing
|
||
lawful marriage to the notorious Barney Snaith. “The first reason is,
|
||
I—I”—Valancy tried to say “I love you” but could not. She had to take
|
||
refuge in a pretended flippancy. “I’m crazy about you. The second
|
||
is—this.”
|
||
|
||
She handed him Dr. Trent’s letter.
|
||
|
||
Barney opened it with the air of a man thankful to find some safe, sane
|
||
thing to do. As he read it his face changed. He understood—more perhaps
|
||
than Valancy wanted him to.
|
||
|
||
“Are you sure nothing can be done for you?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy did not misunderstand the question.
|
||
|
||
“Yes. You know Dr. Trent’s reputation in regard to heart disease. I
|
||
haven’t long to live—perhaps only a few months—a few weeks. I want to
|
||
_live_ them. I can’t go back to Deerwood—you know what my life was like
|
||
there. And”—she managed it this time—“I love you. I want to spend the
|
||
rest of my life with you. That’s all.”
|
||
|
||
Barney folded his arms on the gate and looked gravely enough at a
|
||
white, saucy star that was winking at him just over Roaring Abel’s
|
||
kitchen chimney.
|
||
|
||
“You don’t know anything about me. I may be a—murderer.”
|
||
|
||
“No, I don’t. You _may_ be something dreadful. Everything they say of
|
||
you may be true. But it doesn’t matter to me.”
|
||
|
||
“You care that much for me, Valancy?” said Barney incredulously,
|
||
looking away from the star and into her eyes—her strange, mysterious
|
||
eyes.
|
||
|
||
“I care—that much,” said Valancy in a low voice. She was trembling. He
|
||
had called her by her name for the first time. It was sweeter than
|
||
another man’s caress could have been just to hear him say her name like
|
||
that.
|
||
|
||
“If we are going to get married,” said Barney, speaking suddenly in a
|
||
casual, matter-of-fact voice, “some things must be understood.”
|
||
|
||
“Everything must be understood,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“I have things I want to hide,” said Barney coolly. “You are not to ask
|
||
me about them.”
|
||
|
||
“I won’t,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“You must never ask to see my mail.”
|
||
|
||
“Never.”
|
||
|
||
“And we are never to pretend anything to each other.”
|
||
|
||
“We won’t,” said Valancy. “You won’t even have to pretend you like me.
|
||
If you marry me I know you’re only doing it out of pity.”
|
||
|
||
“And we’ll never tell a lie to each other about anything—a big lie or a
|
||
petty lie.”
|
||
|
||
“Especially a petty lie,” agreed Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“And you’ll have to live back on my island. I won’t live anywhere
|
||
else.”
|
||
|
||
“That’s partly why I want to marry you,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Barney peered at her.
|
||
|
||
“I believe you mean it. Well—let’s get married, then.”
|
||
|
||
“Thank you,” said Valancy, with a sudden return of primness. She would
|
||
have been much less embarrassed if he had refused her.
|
||
|
||
“I suppose I haven’t any right to make conditions. But I’m going to
|
||
make one. You are never to refer to my heart or my liability to sudden
|
||
death. You are never to urge me to be careful. You are to
|
||
forget—absolutely forget—that I’m not perfectly healthy. I have written
|
||
a letter to my mother—here it is—you are to keep it. I have explained
|
||
everything in it. If I drop dead suddenly—as I likely will do——”
|
||
|
||
“It will exonerate me in the eyes of your kindred from the suspicion of
|
||
having poisoned you,” said Barney with a grin.
|
||
|
||
“Exactly.” Valancy laughed gaily. “Dear me, I’m glad this is over. It
|
||
has been—a bit of an ordeal. You see, I’m not in the habit of going
|
||
about asking men to marry me. It is so nice of you not to refuse me—or
|
||
offer to be a brother!”
|
||
|
||
“I’ll go to the Port tomorrow and get a license. We can be married
|
||
tomorrow evening. Dr. Stalling, I suppose?”
|
||
|
||
“Heavens, no.” Valancy shuddered. “Besides, he wouldn’t do it. He’d
|
||
shake his forefinger at me and I’d jilt you at the altar. No, I want my
|
||
old Mr. Towers to marry me.”
|
||
|
||
“Will you marry me as I stand?” demanded Barney. A passing car, full of
|
||
tourists, honked loudly—it seemed derisively. Valancy looked at him.
|
||
Blue homespun shirt, nondescript hat, muddy overalls. Unshaved!
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” she said.
|
||
|
||
Barney put his hands over the gate and took her little, cold ones
|
||
gently in his.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy,” he said, trying to speak lightly, “of course I’m not in love
|
||
with you—never thought of such a thing as being in love. But, do you
|
||
know, I’ve always thought you were a bit of a dear.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXVI
|
||
|
||
|
||
The next day passed for Valancy like a dream. She could not make
|
||
herself or anything she did seem real. She saw nothing of Barney,
|
||
though she expected he must go rattling past on his way to the Port for
|
||
a license.
|
||
|
||
Perhaps he had changed his mind.
|
||
|
||
But at dusk the lights of Lady Jane suddenly swooped over the crest of
|
||
the wooded hill beyond the lane. Valancy was waiting at the gate for
|
||
her bridegroom. She wore her green dress and her green hat because she
|
||
had nothing else to wear. She did not look or feel at all
|
||
bride-like—she really looked like a wild elf strayed out of the
|
||
greenwood. But that did not matter. Nothing at all mattered except that
|
||
Barney was coming for her.
|
||
|
||
“Ready?” said Barney, stopping Lady Jane with some new, horrible
|
||
noises.
|
||
|
||
“Yes.” Valancy stepped in and sat down. Barney was in his blue shirt
|
||
and overalls. But they were clean overalls. He was smoking a
|
||
villainous-looking pipe and he was bareheaded. But he had a pair of
|
||
oddly smart boots on under his shabby overalls. And he was shaved. They
|
||
clattered into Deerwood and through Deerwood and hit the long, wooded
|
||
road to the Port.
|
||
|
||
“Haven’t changed your mind?” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
“No. Have you?”
|
||
|
||
“No.”
|
||
|
||
That was their whole conversation on the fifteen miles. Everything was
|
||
more dream-like than ever. Valancy didn’t know whether she felt happy.
|
||
Or terrified. Or just plain fool.
|
||
|
||
Then the lights of Port Lawrence were about them. Valancy felt as if
|
||
she were surrounded by the gleaming, hungry eyes of hundreds of great,
|
||
stealthy panthers. Barney briefly asked where Mr. Towers lived, and
|
||
Valancy as briefly told him. They stopped before the shabby little
|
||
house in an unfashionable street. They went in to the small, shabby
|
||
parlour. Barney produced his license. So he _had_ got it. Also a ring.
|
||
This thing was real. She, Valancy Stirling, was actually on the point
|
||
of being married.
|
||
|
||
They were standing up together before Mr. Towers. Valancy heard Mr.
|
||
Towers and Barney saying things. She heard some other person saying
|
||
things. She herself was thinking of the way she had once planned to be
|
||
married—away back in her early teens when such a thing had not seemed
|
||
impossible. White silk and tulle veil and orange-blossoms; no
|
||
bridesmaid. But one flower girl, in a frock of cream shadow lace over
|
||
pale pink, with a wreath of flowers in her hair, carrying a basket of
|
||
roses and lilies-of-the-valley. And the groom, a noble-looking
|
||
creature, irreproachably clad in whatever the fashion of the day
|
||
decreed. Valancy lifted her eyes and saw herself and Barney in the
|
||
little, slanting, distorting mirror over the mantelpiece. She in her
|
||
odd, unbridal green hat and dress; Barney in shirt and overalls. But it
|
||
was Barney. That was all that mattered. No veil—no flowers—no guests—no
|
||
presents—no wedding-cake—but just Barney. For all the rest of her life
|
||
there would be Barney.
|
||
|
||
“Mrs. Snaith, I hope you will be very happy,” Mr. Towers was saying.
|
||
|
||
He had not seemed surprised at their appearance—not even at Barney’s
|
||
overalls. He had seen plenty of queer weddings “up back.” He did not
|
||
know Valancy was one of the Deerwood Stirlings—he did not even know
|
||
there _were_ Deerwood Stirlings. He did not know Barney Snaith was a
|
||
fugitive from justice. Really, he was an incredibly ignorant old man.
|
||
Therefore he married them and gave them his blessing very gently and
|
||
solemnly and prayed for them that night after they had gone away. His
|
||
conscience did not trouble him at all.
|
||
|
||
“What a nice way to get married!” Barney was saying as he put Lady Jane
|
||
in gear. “No fuss and flub-dub. I never supposed it was half so easy.”
|
||
|
||
“For heaven’s sake,” said Valancy suddenly, “let’s forget we _are_
|
||
married and talk as if we weren’t. I can’t stand another drive like the
|
||
one we had coming in.”
|
||
|
||
Barney howled and threw Lady Jane into high with an infernal noise.
|
||
|
||
“And I thought I was making it easy for you,” he said. “You didn’t seem
|
||
to want to talk.”
|
||
|
||
“I didn’t. But I wanted you to talk. I don’t want you to make love to
|
||
me, but I want you to act like an ordinary human being. Tell me about
|
||
this island of yours. What sort of a place is it?”
|
||
|
||
“The jolliest place in the world. You’re going to love it. The first
|
||
time I saw it I loved it. Old Tom MacMurray owned it then. He built the
|
||
little shack on it, lived there in winter and rented it to Toronto
|
||
people in summer. I bought it from him—became by that one simple
|
||
transaction a landed proprietor owning a house and an island. There is
|
||
something so satisfying in owning a whole island. And isn’t an
|
||
uninhabited island a charming idea? I’d wanted to own one ever since
|
||
I’d read _Robinson Crusoe_. It seemed too good to be true. And beauty!
|
||
Most of the scenery belongs to the government, but they don’t tax you
|
||
for looking at it, and the moon belongs to everybody. You won’t find my
|
||
shack very tidy. I suppose you’ll want to make it tidy.”
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” said Valancy honestly. “I _have_ to be tidy. I don’t really
|
||
_want_ to be. But untidiness hurts me. Yes, I’ll have to tidy up your
|
||
shack.”
|
||
|
||
“I was prepared for that,” said Barney, with a hollow groan.
|
||
|
||
“But,” continued Valancy relentingly, “I won’t insist on your wiping
|
||
your feet when you come in.”
|
||
|
||
“No, you’ll only sweep up after me with the air of a martyr,” said
|
||
Barney. “Well, anyway, you can’t tidy the lean-to. You can’t even enter
|
||
it. The door will be locked and I shall keep the key.”
|
||
|
||
“Bluebeard’s chamber,” said Valancy. “I shan’t even think of it. I
|
||
don’t care how many wives you have hanging up in it. So long as they’re
|
||
really dead.”
|
||
|
||
“Dead as door-nails. You can do as you like in the rest of the house.
|
||
There’s not much of it—just one big living-room and one small bedroom.
|
||
Well built, though. Old Tom loved his job. The beams of our house are
|
||
cedar and the rafters fir. Our living-room windows face west and east.
|
||
It’s wonderful to have a room where you can see both sunrise and
|
||
sunset. I have two cats there. Banjo and Good Luck. Adorable animals.
|
||
Banjo is a big, enchanting, grey devil-cat. Striped, of course. I don’t
|
||
care a hang for any cat that hasn’t stripes. I never knew a cat who
|
||
could swear as genteelly and effectively as Banjo. His only fault is
|
||
that he snores horribly when he is asleep. Luck is a dainty little cat.
|
||
Always looking wistfully at you, as if he wanted to tell you something.
|
||
Maybe he will pull it off sometime. Once in a thousand years, you know,
|
||
one cat is allowed to speak. My cats are philosophers—neither of them
|
||
ever cries over spilt milk.
|
||
|
||
“Two old crows live in a pine-tree on the point and are reasonably
|
||
neighbourly. Call ’em Nip and Tuck. And I have a demure little tame
|
||
owl. Name, Leander. I brought him up from a baby and he lives over on
|
||
the mainland and chuckles to himself o’ nights. And bats—it’s a great
|
||
place for bats at night. Scared of bats?”
|
||
|
||
“No; I like them.”
|
||
|
||
“So do I. Nice, queer, uncanny, mysterious creatures. Coming from
|
||
nowhere—going nowhere. Swoop! Banjo likes ’em, too. Eats ’em. I have a
|
||
canoe and a disappearing propeller boat. Went to the Port in it today
|
||
to get my license. Quieter than Lady Jane.”
|
||
|
||
“I thought you hadn’t gone at all—that you _had_ changed your mind,”
|
||
admitted Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Barney laughed—the laugh Valancy did not like—the little, bitter,
|
||
cynical laugh.
|
||
|
||
“I never change my mind,” he said shortly.
|
||
|
||
They went back through Deerwood. Up the Muskoka road. Past Roaring
|
||
Abel’s. Over the rocky, daisied lane. The dark pine woods swallowed
|
||
them up. Through the pine woods, where the air was sweet with the
|
||
incense of the unseen, fragile bells of the linnæas that carpeted the
|
||
banks of the trail. Out to the shore of Mistawis. Lady Jane must be
|
||
left here. They got out. Barney led the way down a little path to the
|
||
edge of the lake.
|
||
|
||
“There’s our island,” he said gloatingly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked—and looked—and looked again. There was a diaphanous,
|
||
lilac mist on the lake, shrouding the island. Through it the two
|
||
enormous pine-trees that clasped hands over Barney’s shack loomed out
|
||
like dark turrets. Behind them was a sky still rose-hued in the
|
||
afterlight, and a pale young moon.
|
||
|
||
Valancy shivered like a tree the wind stirs suddenly. Something seemed
|
||
to sweep over her soul.
|
||
|
||
“My Blue Castle!” she said. “Oh, my Blue Castle!”
|
||
|
||
They got into the canoe and paddled out to it. They left behind the
|
||
realm of everyday and things known and landed on a realm of mystery and
|
||
enchantment where anything might happen—anything might be true. Barney
|
||
lifted Valancy out of the canoe and swung her to a lichen-covered rock
|
||
under a young pine-tree. His arms were about her and suddenly his lips
|
||
were on hers. Valancy found herself shivering with the rapture of her
|
||
first kiss.
|
||
|
||
“Welcome home, dear,” Barney was saying.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXVII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Cousin Georgiana came down the lane leading up to her little house. She
|
||
lived half a mile out of Deerwood and she wanted to go in to Amelia’s
|
||
and find out if Doss had come home yet. Cousin Georgiana was anxious to
|
||
see Doss. She had something very important to tell her. Something, she
|
||
was sure, Doss would be delighted to hear. Poor Doss! She _had_ had
|
||
rather a dull life of it. Cousin Georgiana owned to herself that _she_
|
||
would not like to live under Amelia’s thumb. But that would be all
|
||
changed now. Cousin Georgiana felt tremendously important. For the time
|
||
being, she quite forgot to wonder which of them would go next.
|
||
|
||
And here was Doss herself, coming along the road from Roaring Abel’s in
|
||
such a queer green dress and hat. Talk about luck. Cousin Georgiana
|
||
would have a chance to impart her wonderful secret right away, with
|
||
nobody else about to interrupt. It was, you might say, a Providence.
|
||
|
||
Valancy, who had been living for four days on her enchanted island, had
|
||
decided that she might as well go in to Deerwood and tell her relatives
|
||
that she was married. Otherwise, finding that she had disappeared from
|
||
Roaring Abel’s, they might get out a search warrant for her. Barney had
|
||
offered to drive her in, but she had preferred to go alone. She smiled
|
||
very radiantly at Cousin Georgiana, who, she remembered, as of some one
|
||
known a long time ago, had really been not a bad little creature.
|
||
Valancy was so happy that she could have smiled at anybody—even Uncle
|
||
James. She was not averse to Cousin Georgiana’s company. Already, since
|
||
the houses along the road were becoming numerous, she was conscious
|
||
that curious eyes were looking at her from every window.
|
||
|
||
“I suppose you’re going home, dear Doss?” said Cousin Georgiana as she
|
||
shook hands—furtively eyeing Valancy’s dress and wondering if she had
|
||
_any_ petticoat on at all.
|
||
|
||
“Sooner or later,” said Valancy cryptically.
|
||
|
||
“Then I’ll go along with you. I’ve been wanting to see you _very_
|
||
especially, Doss dear. I’ve something quite _wonderful_ to tell you.”
|
||
|
||
“Yes?” said Valancy absently. What on earth was Cousin Georgiana
|
||
looking so mysterious and important about? But did it matter? No.
|
||
Nothing mattered but Barney and the Blue Castle up back in Mistawis.
|
||
|
||
“Who do you suppose called to see me the other day?” asked Cousin
|
||
Georgiana archly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy couldn’t guess.
|
||
|
||
“Edward Beck.” Cousin Georgiana lowered her voice almost to a whisper.
|
||
“_Edward Beck._”
|
||
|
||
Why the italics? And _was_ Cousin Georgiana blushing?
|
||
|
||
“Who on earth is Edward Beck?” asked Valancy indifferently.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Georgiana stared.
|
||
|
||
“Surely you remember Edward Beck,” she said reproachfully. “He lives in
|
||
that lovely house on the Port Lawrence road and he comes to our
|
||
church—regularly. You _must_ remember him.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I think I do now,” said Valancy, with an effort of memory. “He’s
|
||
that old man with a wen on his forehead and dozens of children, who
|
||
always sits in the pew by the door, isn’t he?”
|
||
|
||
“Not dozens of children, dear—oh, no, not dozens. Not even _one_ dozen.
|
||
Only nine. At least only nine that count. The rest are dead. He _isn’t_
|
||
old—he’s only about forty-eight—the prime of life, Doss—and what does
|
||
it matter about a wen?”
|
||
|
||
“Nothing, of course,” agreed Valancy quite sincerely. It certainly did
|
||
not matter to her whether Edward Beck had a wen or a dozen wens or no
|
||
wen at all. But Valancy was getting vaguely suspicious. There was
|
||
certainly an air of suppressed triumph about Cousin Georgiana. Could it
|
||
be possible that Cousin Georgiana was thinking of marrying again?
|
||
Marrying Edward Beck? Absurd. Cousin Georgiana was sixty-five if she
|
||
were a day and her little anxious face was as closely covered with fine
|
||
wrinkles as if she had been a hundred. But still——
|
||
|
||
“My dear,” said Cousin Georgiana, “Edward Beck wants to marry _you_.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy stared at Cousin Georgiana for a moment. Then she wanted to go
|
||
off into a peal of laughter. But she only said:
|
||
|
||
“Me?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes, you. He fell in love with you at the funeral. And he came to
|
||
consult me about it. I was such a friend of his first wife, you know.
|
||
He is very much in earnest, Dossie. And it’s a wonderful chance for
|
||
you. He’s very well off—and you know—you—you——”
|
||
|
||
“Am not so young as I once was,” agreed Valancy. “‘To her that hath
|
||
shall be given.’ Do you really think I would make a good stepmother,
|
||
Cousin Georgiana?”
|
||
|
||
“I’m sure you would. You were always so fond of children.”
|
||
|
||
“But nine is such a family to start with,” objected Valancy gravely.
|
||
|
||
“The two oldest are grown up and the third almost. That leaves only six
|
||
that really count. And most of them are boys. So much easier to bring
|
||
up than girls. There’s an excellent book—‘Health Care of the Growing
|
||
Child’—Gladys has a copy, I think. It would be such a help to you. And
|
||
there are books about morals. You’d manage nicely. Of course I told Mr.
|
||
Beck that I thought you would—would——”
|
||
|
||
“Jump at him,” supplied Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, no, no, dear. I wouldn’t use such an indelicate expression. I told
|
||
him I thought you would consider his proposal favourably. And you will,
|
||
won’t you, dearie?”
|
||
|
||
“There’s only one obstacle,” said Valancy dreamily. “You see, I’m
|
||
married already.”
|
||
|
||
“Married!” Cousin Georgiana stopped stock-still and stared at Valancy.
|
||
“Married!”
|
||
|
||
“Yes. I was married to Barney Snaith last Tuesday evening in Port
|
||
Lawrence.”
|
||
|
||
There was a convenient gate-post hard by. Cousin Georgiana took firm
|
||
hold of it.
|
||
|
||
“Doss, dear—I’m an old woman—are you trying to make fun of me?”
|
||
|
||
“Not at all. I’m only telling you the truth. For heaven’s sake, Cousin
|
||
Georgiana,”—Valancy was alarmed by certain symptoms—“don’t go crying
|
||
here on the public road!”
|
||
|
||
Cousin Georgiana choked back the tears and gave a little moan of
|
||
despair instead.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, Doss, _what_ have you done? What _have_ you done?”
|
||
|
||
“I’ve just been telling you. I’ve got married,” said Valancy, calmly
|
||
and patiently.
|
||
|
||
“To that—that—aw—that—_Barney Snaith_. Why, they say he’s had a dozen
|
||
wives already.”
|
||
|
||
“I’m the only one round at present,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“What will your poor mother say?” moaned Cousin Georgiana.
|
||
|
||
“Come along with me and hear, if you want to know,” said Valancy. “I’m
|
||
on my way to tell her now.”
|
||
|
||
Cousin Georgiana let go the gate-post cautiously and found that she
|
||
could stand alone. She meekly trotted on beside Valancy—who suddenly
|
||
seemed quite a different person in her eyes. Cousin Georgiana had a
|
||
tremendous respect for a married woman. But it was terrible to think of
|
||
what the poor girl had done. So rash. So reckless. Of course Valancy
|
||
must be stark mad. But she seemed so happy in her madness that Cousin
|
||
Georgiana had a momentary conviction that it would be a pity if the
|
||
clan tried to scold her back to sanity. She had never seen that look in
|
||
Valancy’s eyes before. But what _would_ Amelia say? And Ben?
|
||
|
||
“To marry a man you know nothing about,” thought Cousin Georgiana
|
||
aloud.
|
||
|
||
“I know more about him than I know of Edward Beck,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Edward Beck _goes to church_,” said Cousin Georgiana. “Does Bar—does
|
||
your husband?”
|
||
|
||
“He has promised that he will go with me on fine Sundays,” said
|
||
Valancy.
|
||
|
||
When they turned in at the Stirling gate Valancy gave an exclamation of
|
||
surprise.
|
||
|
||
“Look at my rosebush! Why, it’s blooming!”
|
||
|
||
It was. Covered with blossoms. Great, crimson, velvety blossoms.
|
||
Fragrant. Glowing. Wonderful.
|
||
|
||
“My cutting it to pieces must have done it good,” said Valancy,
|
||
laughing. She gathered a handful of the blossoms—they would look well
|
||
on the supper-table of the verandah at Mistawis—and went, still
|
||
laughing, up the walk, conscious that Olive was standing on the steps,
|
||
Olive, goddess-like in loveliness, looking down with a slight frown on
|
||
her forehead. Olive, beautiful, insolent. Her full form voluptuous in
|
||
its swathings of rose silk and lace. Her golden-brown hair curling
|
||
richly under her big, white-frilled hat. Her colour ripe and melting.
|
||
|
||
“Beautiful,” thought Valancy coolly, “but”—as if she suddenly saw her
|
||
cousin through new eyes—“without the slightest touch of distinction.”
|
||
|
||
So Valancy had come home, thank goodness, thought Olive. But Valancy
|
||
was not looking like a repentant, returned prodigal. This was the cause
|
||
of Olive’s frown. She was looking triumphant—graceless! That outlandish
|
||
dress—that queer hat—those hands full of blood-red roses. Yet there was
|
||
something about both dress and hat, as Olive instantly felt, that was
|
||
entirely lacking in her own attire. This deepened the frown. She put
|
||
out a condescending hand.
|
||
|
||
“So you’re back, Doss? Very warm day, isn’t it? Did you walk in?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes. Coming in?”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, no. I’ve just been in. I’ve come often to comfort poor Aunty.
|
||
She’s been so lonesome. I’m going to Mrs. Bartlett’s tea. I have to
|
||
help pour. She’s giving it for her cousin from Toronto. Such a charming
|
||
girl. You’d have loved meeting her, Doss. I think Mrs. Bartlett did
|
||
send you a card. Perhaps you’ll drop in later on.”
|
||
|
||
“No, I don’t think so,” said Valancy indifferently. “I’ll have to be
|
||
home to get Barney’s supper. We’re going for a moonlit canoe ride
|
||
around Mistawis tonight.”
|
||
|
||
“Barney? Supper?” gasped Olive. “What _do_ you mean, Valancy Stirling?”
|
||
|
||
“Valancy Snaith, by the grace of God.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy flaunted her wedding-ring in Olive’s stricken face. Then she
|
||
nimbly stepped past her and into the house. Cousin Georgiana followed.
|
||
She would not miss a moment of the great scene, even though Olive did
|
||
look as if she were going to faint.
|
||
|
||
Olive did not faint. She went stupidly down the street to Mrs.
|
||
Bartlett’s. _What_ did Doss mean? She couldn’t have—that ring—oh, what
|
||
fresh scandal was that wretched girl bringing on her defenceless family
|
||
now? She should have been—shut up—long ago.
|
||
|
||
Valancy opened the sitting-room door and stepped unexpectedly right
|
||
into a grim assemblage of Stirlings. They had not come together of
|
||
malice prepense. Aunt Wellington and Cousin Gladys and Aunt Mildred and
|
||
Cousin Sarah had just called in on their way home from a meeting of the
|
||
missionary society. Uncle James had dropped in to give Amelia some
|
||
information regarding a doubtful investment. Uncle Benjamin had called,
|
||
apparently, to tell them it was a hot day and ask them what was the
|
||
difference between a bee and a donkey. Cousin Stickles had been
|
||
tactless enough to know the answer—“one gets all the honey, the other
|
||
all the whacks”—and Uncle Benjamin was in a bad humour. In all of their
|
||
minds, unexpressed, was the idea of finding out if Valancy had yet come
|
||
home, and, if not, what steps must be taken in the matter.
|
||
|
||
Well, here was Valancy at last, a poised, confident thing, not humble
|
||
and deprecating as she should have been. And so oddly, improperly
|
||
young-looking. She stood in the doorway and looked at them, Cousin
|
||
Georgiana timorous, expectant, behind her. Valancy was so happy she
|
||
didn’t hate her people any more. She could even see a number of good
|
||
qualities in them that she had never seen before. And she was sorry for
|
||
them. Her pity made her quite gentle.
|
||
|
||
“Well, Mother,” she said pleasantly.
|
||
|
||
“So you’ve come home at last!” said Mrs. Frederick, getting out a
|
||
handkerchief. She dared not be outraged, but she did not mean to be
|
||
cheated of her tears.
|
||
|
||
“Well, not exactly,” said Valancy. She threw her bomb. “I thought I
|
||
ought to drop in and tell you I was married. Last Tuesday night. To
|
||
Barney Snaith.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin bounced up and sat down again.
|
||
|
||
“God bless my soul!” he said dully. The rest seemed turned to stone.
|
||
Except Cousin Gladys, who turned faint. Aunt Mildred and Uncle
|
||
Wellington had to help her out to the kitchen.
|
||
|
||
“She would have to keep up the Victorian traditions,” said Valancy,
|
||
with a grin. She sat down, uninvited, on a chair. Cousin Stickles had
|
||
begun to sob.
|
||
|
||
“Is there _one_ day in your life that you haven’t cried?” asked Valancy
|
||
curiously.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy,” said Uncle James, being the first to recover the power of
|
||
utterance, “did you mean what you said just now?”
|
||
|
||
“I did.”
|
||
|
||
“Do you mean to say that you have actually gone and
|
||
married—_married_—that notorious Barney
|
||
Snaith—that—that—criminal—that——”
|
||
|
||
“I have.”
|
||
|
||
“Then,” said Uncle James violently, “you are a shameless creature, lost
|
||
to all sense of propriety and virtue, and I wash my hands entirely of
|
||
you. I do not want ever to see your face again.”
|
||
|
||
“What have you left to say when I commit murder?” asked Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin again appealed to God to bless his soul.
|
||
|
||
“That drunken outlaw—that——”
|
||
|
||
A dangerous spark appeared in Valancy’s eyes. They might say what they
|
||
liked to and of her but they should not abuse Barney.
|
||
|
||
“Say ‘damn’ and you’ll feel better,” she suggested.
|
||
|
||
“I can express my feelings without blasphemy. And I tell you you have
|
||
covered yourself with eternal disgrace and infamy by marrying that
|
||
drunkard——”
|
||
|
||
“_You_ would be more endurable if you got drunk occasionally. Barney is
|
||
_not_ a drunkard.”
|
||
|
||
“He was seen drunk in Port Lawrence—pickled to the gills,” said Uncle
|
||
Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
“If that is true—and I don’t believe it—he had a good reason for it.
|
||
Now I suggest that you all stop looking tragic and accept the
|
||
situation. I’m married—you can’t undo that. And I’m perfectly happy.”
|
||
|
||
“I suppose we ought to be thankful he has really married her,” said
|
||
Cousin Sarah, by way of trying to look on the bright side.
|
||
|
||
“If he really has,” said Uncle James, who had just washed his hands of
|
||
Valancy. “Who married you?”
|
||
|
||
“Mr. Towers, of Port Lawrence.”
|
||
|
||
“By a Free Methodist!” groaned Mrs. Frederick—as if to have been
|
||
married by an imprisoned Methodist would have been a shade less
|
||
disgraceful. It was the first thing she had said. Mrs. Frederick didn’t
|
||
know _what_ to say. The whole thing was too horrible—too nightmarish.
|
||
She was sure she must wake up soon. After all their bright hopes at the
|
||
funeral!
|
||
|
||
“It makes me think of those what-d’ye-call-’ems,” said Uncle Benjamin
|
||
helplessly. “Those yarns—you know—of fairies taking babies out of their
|
||
cradles.”
|
||
|
||
“Valancy could hardly be a changeling at twenty-nine,” said Aunt
|
||
Wellington satirically.
|
||
|
||
“She was the oddest-looking baby I ever saw, anyway,” averred Uncle
|
||
Benjamin. “I said so at the time—you remember, Amelia? I said I had
|
||
never seen such eyes in a human head.”
|
||
|
||
“I’m glad _I_ never had any children,” said Cousin Sarah. “If they
|
||
don’t break your heart in one way they do it in another.”
|
||
|
||
“Isn’t it better to have your heart broken than to have it wither up?”
|
||
queried Valancy. “Before it could be broken it must have felt something
|
||
splendid. _That_ would be worth the pain.”
|
||
|
||
“Dippy—clean dippy,” muttered Uncle Benjamin, with a vague,
|
||
unsatisfactory feeling that somebody had said something like that
|
||
before.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy,” said Mrs. Frederick solemnly, “do you ever pray to be
|
||
forgiven for disobeying your mother?”
|
||
|
||
“I _should_ pray to be forgiven for obeying you so long,” said Valancy
|
||
stubbornly. “But I don’t pray about that at all. I just thank God every
|
||
day for my happiness.”
|
||
|
||
“I would rather,” said Mrs. Frederick, beginning to cry rather
|
||
belatedly, “see you dead before me than listen to what you have told me
|
||
today.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked at her mother and aunts, and wondered if they could ever
|
||
have known anything of the real meaning of love. She felt sorrier for
|
||
them than ever. They were so very pitiable. And they never suspected
|
||
it.
|
||
|
||
“Barney Snaith is a scoundrel to have deluded you into marrying him,”
|
||
said Uncle James violently.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, _I_ did the deluding. I asked _him_ to marry me,” said Valancy,
|
||
with a wicked smile.
|
||
|
||
“Have you _no_ pride?” demanded Aunt Wellington.
|
||
|
||
“Lots of it. I am proud that I have achieved a husband by my own
|
||
unaided efforts. Cousin Georgiana here wanted to help me to Edward
|
||
Beck.”
|
||
|
||
“Edward Beck is worth twenty thousand dollars and has the finest house
|
||
between here and Port Lawrence,” said Uncle Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
“That sounds very fine,” said Valancy scornfully, “but it isn’t worth
|
||
_that_”—she snapped her fingers—“compared to feeling Barney’s arms
|
||
around me and his cheek against mine.”
|
||
|
||
“_Oh_, Doss!” said Cousin Stickles. Cousin Sarah said, “Oh, _Doss_!”
|
||
Aunt Wellington said, “Valancy, you need not be indecent.”
|
||
|
||
“Why, it surely isn’t indecent to like to have your husband put his arm
|
||
around you? I should think it would be indecent if you didn’t.”
|
||
|
||
“Why expect decency from her?” inquired Uncle James sarcastically. “She
|
||
has cut herself off from decency forevermore. She has made her bed. Let
|
||
her lie on it.”
|
||
|
||
“Thanks,” said Valancy very gratefully. “How you would have enjoyed
|
||
being Torquemada! Now, I must really be getting back. Mother, may I
|
||
have those three woollen cushions I worked last winter?”
|
||
|
||
“Take them—take everything!” said Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I don’t want everything—or much. I don’t want my Blue Castle
|
||
cluttered. Just the cushions. I’ll call for them some day when we motor
|
||
in.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy rose and went to the door. There she turned. She was sorrier
|
||
than ever for them all. _They_ had no Blue Castle in the purple
|
||
solitudes of Mistawis.
|
||
|
||
“The trouble with you people is that you don’t laugh enough,” she said.
|
||
|
||
“Doss, dear,” said Cousin Georgiana mournfully, “some day you will
|
||
discover that blood is thicker than water.”
|
||
|
||
“Of course it is. But who wants water to be thick?” parried Valancy.
|
||
“We want water to be thin—sparkling—crystal-clear.”
|
||
|
||
Cousin Stickles groaned.
|
||
|
||
Valancy would not ask any of them to come and see her—she was afraid
|
||
they _would_ come out of curiosity. But she said:
|
||
|
||
“Do you mind if I drop in and see you once in a while, Mother?”
|
||
|
||
“My house will always be open to you,” said Mrs. Frederick, with a
|
||
mournful dignity.
|
||
|
||
“You should never recognise her again,” said Uncle James sternly, as
|
||
the door closed behind Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“I cannot quite forget that I am a mother,” said Mrs. Frederick. “My
|
||
poor, unfortunate girl!”
|
||
|
||
“I dare say the marriage isn’t legal,” said Uncle James comfortingly.
|
||
“He has probably been married half a dozen times before. But _I_ am
|
||
through with her. I have done all I could, Amelia. I think you will
|
||
admit that. Henceforth”—Uncle James was terribly solemn about
|
||
it—“Valancy is to me as one dead.”
|
||
|
||
“Mrs. Barney Snaith,” said Cousin Georgiana, as if trying it out to see
|
||
how it would sound.
|
||
|
||
“He has a score of aliases, no doubt,” said Uncle Benjamin. “For my
|
||
part, I believe the man is half Indian. I haven’t a doubt they’re
|
||
living in a wigwam.”
|
||
|
||
“If he has married her under the name of Snaith and it isn’t his real
|
||
name wouldn’t that make the marriage null and void?” asked Cousin
|
||
Stickles hopefully.
|
||
|
||
Uncle James shook his head.
|
||
|
||
“No, it is the man who marries, not the name.”
|
||
|
||
“You know,” said Cousin Gladys, who had recovered and returned but was
|
||
still shaky, “I had a distinct premonition of this at Herbert’s silver
|
||
dinner. I remarked it at the time. When she was defending Snaith. You
|
||
remember, of course. It came over me like a revelation. I spoke to
|
||
David when I went home about it.”
|
||
|
||
“What—_what_,” demanded Aunt Wellington of the universe, “has come over
|
||
Valancy? _Valancy!_”
|
||
|
||
The universe did not answer but Uncle James did.
|
||
|
||
“Isn’t there something coming up of late about secondary personalities
|
||
cropping out? I don’t hold with many of those new-fangled notions, but
|
||
there may be something in this one. It would account for her
|
||
incomprehensible conduct.”
|
||
|
||
“Valancy is so fond of mushrooms,” sighed Cousin Georgiana. “I’m afraid
|
||
she’ll get poisoned eating toadstools by mistake living up back in the
|
||
woods.”
|
||
|
||
“There are worse things than death,” said Uncle James, believing that
|
||
it was the first time in the world that such a statement had been made.
|
||
|
||
“Nothing can ever be the same again!” sobbed Cousin Stickles.
|
||
|
||
Valancy, hurrying along the dusty road, back to cool Mistawis and her
|
||
purple island, had forgotten all about them—just as she had forgotten
|
||
that she might drop dead at any moment if she hurried.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXVIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Summer passed by. The Stirling clan—with the insignificant exception of
|
||
Cousin Georgiana—had tacitly agreed to follow Uncle James’ example and
|
||
look upon Valancy as one dead. To be sure, Valancy had an unquiet,
|
||
ghostly habit of recurring resurrections when she and Barney clattered
|
||
through Deerwood and out to the Port in that unspeakable car. Valancy,
|
||
bareheaded, with stars in her eyes. Barney, bareheaded, smoking his
|
||
pipe. But shaved. Always shaved now, if any of them had noticed it.
|
||
They even had the audacity to go in to Uncle Benjamin’s store to buy
|
||
groceries. Twice Uncle Benjamin ignored them. Was not Valancy one of
|
||
the dead? While Snaith had never existed. But the third time he told
|
||
Barney he was a scoundrel who should be hung for luring an unfortunate,
|
||
weak-minded girl away from her home and friends.
|
||
|
||
Barney’s one straight eyebrow went up.
|
||
|
||
“I have made her happy,” he said coolly, “and she was miserable with
|
||
her friends. So that’s that.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin stared. It had never occurred to him that women had to
|
||
be, or ought to be, “made happy.”
|
||
|
||
“You—you pup!” he said.
|
||
|
||
“Why be so unoriginal?” queried Barney amiably. “Anybody could call me
|
||
a pup. Why not think of something worthy of the Stirlings? Besides, I’m
|
||
not a pup. I’m really quite a middle-aged dog. Thirty-five, if you’re
|
||
interested in knowing.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin remembered just in time that Valancy was dead. He turned
|
||
his back on Barney.
|
||
|
||
Valancy _was_ happy—gloriously and entirely so. She seemed to be living
|
||
in a wonderful house of life and every day opened a new, mysterious
|
||
room. It was in a world which had nothing in common with the one she
|
||
had left behind—a world where time was not—which was young with
|
||
immortal youth—where there was neither past nor future but only the
|
||
present. She surrendered herself utterly to the charm of it.
|
||
|
||
The absolute freedom of it all was unbelievable. They could do exactly
|
||
as they liked. No Mrs. Grundy. No traditions. No relatives. Or in-laws.
|
||
“Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away,” as Barney quoted
|
||
shamelessly.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had gone home once and got her cushions. And Cousin Georgiana
|
||
had given her one of her famous candlewick spreads of most elaborate
|
||
design. “For your spare-room bed, dear,” she said.
|
||
|
||
“But I haven’t got any spare-room,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Georgiana looked horrified. A house without a spare-room was
|
||
monstrous to her.
|
||
|
||
“But it’s a lovely spread,” said Valancy, with a kiss, “and I’m so glad
|
||
to have it. I’ll put it on my own bed. Barney’s old patch-work quilt is
|
||
getting ragged.”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t see how you can be contented to live up back,” sighed Cousin
|
||
Georgiana. “It’s so out of the world.”
|
||
|
||
“Contented!” Valancy laughed. What was the use of trying to explain to
|
||
Cousin Georgiana. “It is,” she agreed, “most gloriously and entirely
|
||
out of the world.”
|
||
|
||
“And you are really happy, dear?” asked Cousin Georgiana wistfully.
|
||
|
||
“I really am,” said Valancy gravely, her eyes dancing.
|
||
|
||
“Marriage is such a serious thing,” sighed Cousin Georgiana.
|
||
|
||
“When it’s going to last long,” agreed Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Cousin Georgiana did not understand this at all. But it worried her and
|
||
she lay awake at nights wondering what Valancy meant by it.
|
||
|
||
Valancy loved her Blue Castle and was completely satisfied with it. The
|
||
big living-room had three windows, all commanding exquisite views of
|
||
exquisite Mistawis. The one in the end of the room was an oriel
|
||
window—which Tom MacMurray, Barney explained, had got out of some
|
||
little, old “up back” church that had been sold. It faced the west and
|
||
when the sunsets flooded it Valancy’s whole being knelt in prayer as if
|
||
in some great cathedral. The new moons always looked down through it,
|
||
the lower pine boughs swayed about the top of it, and all through the
|
||
nights the soft, dim silver of the lake dreamed through it.
|
||
|
||
There was a stone fireplace on the other side. No desecrating gas
|
||
imitation but a real fireplace where you could burn real logs. With a
|
||
big grizzly bearskin on the floor before it, and beside it a hideous,
|
||
red-plush sofa of Tom MacMurray’s régime. But its ugliness was hidden
|
||
by silver-grey timber wolf skins, and Valancy’s cushions made it gay
|
||
and comfortable. In a corner a nice, tall, lazy old clock ticked—the
|
||
right kind of a clock. One that did not hurry the hours away but ticked
|
||
them off deliberately. It was the jolliest looking old clock. A fat,
|
||
corpulent clock with a great, round, man’s face painted on it, the
|
||
hands stretching out of its nose and the hours encircling it like a
|
||
halo.
|
||
|
||
There was a big glass case of stuffed owls and several deer
|
||
heads—likewise of Tom MacMurray’s vintage. Some comfortable old chairs
|
||
that asked to be sat upon. A squat little chair with a cushion was
|
||
prescriptively Banjo’s. If anybody else dared sit on it Banjo glared
|
||
him out of it with his topaz-hued, black-ringed eyes. Banjo had an
|
||
adorable habit of hanging over the back of it, trying to catch his own
|
||
tail. Losing his temper because he couldn’t catch it. Giving it a
|
||
fierce bite for spite when he _did_ catch it. Yowling malignantly with
|
||
pain. Barney and Valancy laughed at him until they ached. But it was
|
||
Good Luck they loved. They were both agreed that Good Luck was so
|
||
lovable that he practically amounted to an obsession.
|
||
|
||
One side of the wall was lined with rough, homemade book-shelves filled
|
||
with books, and between the two side windows hung an old mirror in a
|
||
faded gilt frame, with fat cupids gamboling in the panel over the
|
||
glass. A mirror, Valancy thought, that must be like the fabled mirror
|
||
into which Venus had once looked and which thereafter reflected as
|
||
beautiful every woman who looked into it. Valancy thought she was
|
||
almost pretty in that mirror. But that may have been because she had
|
||
shingled her hair.
|
||
|
||
This was before the day of bobs and was regarded as a wild, unheard-of
|
||
proceeding—unless you had typhoid. When Mrs. Frederick heard of it she
|
||
almost decided to erase Valancy’s name from the family Bible. Barney
|
||
cut the hair, square off at the back of Valancy’s neck, bringing it
|
||
down in a short black fringe over her forehead. It gave a meaning and a
|
||
purpose to her little, three-cornered face that it never had possessed
|
||
before. Even her nose ceased to irritate her. Her eyes were bright, and
|
||
her sallow skin had cleared to the hue of creamy ivory. The old family
|
||
joke had come true—she was really fat at last—anyway, no longer skinny.
|
||
Valancy might never be beautiful, but she was of the type that looks
|
||
its best in the woods—elfin—mocking—alluring.
|
||
|
||
Her heart bothered her very little. When an attack threatened she was
|
||
generally able to head it off with Dr. Trent’s prescription. The only
|
||
bad one she had was one night when she was temporarily out of medicine.
|
||
And it _was_ a bad one. For the time being, Valancy realised keenly
|
||
that death was actually waiting to pounce on her any moment. But the
|
||
rest of the time she would not—did not—let herself remember it at all.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXIX
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy toiled not, neither did she spin. There was really very little
|
||
work to do. She cooked their meals on a coal-oil stove, performing all
|
||
her little domestic rites carefully and exultingly, and they ate out on
|
||
the verandah that almost overhung the lake. Before them lay Mistawis,
|
||
like a scene out of some fairy tale of old time. And Barney smiling his
|
||
twisted, enigmatical smile at her across the table.
|
||
|
||
“What a view old Tom picked out when he built this shack!” Barney would
|
||
say exultantly.
|
||
|
||
Supper was the meal Valancy liked best. The faint laughter of winds was
|
||
always about them and the colours of Mistawis, imperial and spiritual,
|
||
under the changing clouds were something that cannot be expressed in
|
||
mere words. Shadows, too. Clustering in the pines until a wind shook
|
||
them out and pursued them over Mistawis. They lay all day along the
|
||
shores, threaded by ferns and wild blossoms. They stole around the
|
||
headlands in the glow of the sunset, until twilight wove them all into
|
||
one great web of dusk.
|
||
|
||
The cats, with their wise, innocent little faces, would sit on the
|
||
verandah railing and eat the tidbits Barney flung them. And how good
|
||
everything tasted! Valancy, amid all the romance of Mistawis, never
|
||
forgot that men had stomachs. Barney paid her no end of compliments on
|
||
her cooking.
|
||
|
||
“After all,” he admitted, “there’s something to be said for square
|
||
meals. I’ve mostly got along by boiling two or three dozen eggs hard at
|
||
once and eating a few when I got hungry, with a slice of bacon once in
|
||
a while and a jorum of tea.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy poured tea out of Barney’s little battered old pewter teapot of
|
||
incredible age. She had not even a set of dishes—only Barney’s
|
||
mismatched chipped bits—and a dear, big, pobby old jug of robin’s-egg
|
||
blue.
|
||
|
||
After the meal was over they would sit there and talk for hours—or sit
|
||
and say nothing, in all the languages of the world, Barney pulling away
|
||
at his pipe, Valancy dreaming idly and deliciously, gazing at the
|
||
far-off hills beyond Mistawis where the spires of firs came out against
|
||
the sunset. The moonlight would begin to silver the Mistawis dusk. Bats
|
||
would begin to swoop darkly against the pale, western gold. The little
|
||
waterfall that came down on the high bank not far away would, by some
|
||
whim of the wildwood gods, begin to look like a wonderful white woman
|
||
beckoning through the spicy, fragrant evergreens. And Leander would
|
||
begin to chuckle diabolically on the mainland shore. How sweet it was
|
||
to sit there and do nothing in the beautiful silence, with Barney at
|
||
the other side of the table, smoking!
|
||
|
||
There were plenty of other islands in sight, though none were near
|
||
enough to be troublesome as neighbours. There was one little group of
|
||
islets far off to the west which they called the Fortunate Isles. At
|
||
sunrise they looked like a cluster of emeralds, at sunset like a
|
||
cluster of amethysts. They were too small for houses; but the lights on
|
||
the larger islands would bloom out all over the lake, and bonfires
|
||
would be lighted on their shores, streaming up into the wood shadows
|
||
and throwing great, blood-red ribbons over the waters. Music would
|
||
drift to them alluringly from boats here and there, or from the
|
||
verandahs on the big house of the millionaire on the biggest island.
|
||
|
||
“Would you like a house like that, Moonlight?” Barney asked once,
|
||
waving his hand at it. He had taken to calling her Moonlight, and
|
||
Valancy loved it.
|
||
|
||
“No,” said Valancy, who had once dreamed of a mountain castle ten times
|
||
the size of the rich man’s “cottage” and now pitied the poor
|
||
inhabitants of palaces. “No. It’s too elegant. I would have to carry it
|
||
with me everywhere I went. On my back like a snail. It would own
|
||
me—possess me, body and soul. I like a house I can love and cuddle and
|
||
boss. Just like ours here. I don’t envy Hamilton Gossard ‘the finest
|
||
summer residence in Canada.’ It is magnificent, but it isn’t my Blue
|
||
Castle.”
|
||
|
||
Away down at the far end of the lake they got every night a glimpse of
|
||
a big, continental train rushing through a clearing. Valancy liked to
|
||
watch its lighted windows flash by and wonder who was on it and what
|
||
hopes and fears it carried. She also amused herself by picturing Barney
|
||
and herself going to the dances and dinners in the houses on the
|
||
islands, but she did not want to go in reality. Once they did go to a
|
||
masquerade dance in the pavilion at one of the hotels up the lake, and
|
||
had a glorious evening, but slipped away in their canoe, before
|
||
unmasking time, back to the Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
“It was lovely—but I don’t want to go again,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
So many hours a day Barney shut himself up in Bluebeard’s Chamber.
|
||
Valancy never saw the inside of it. From the smells that filtered
|
||
through at times she concluded he must be conducting chemical
|
||
experiments—or counterfeiting money. Valancy supposed there must be
|
||
smelly processes in making counterfeit money. But she did not trouble
|
||
herself about it. She had no desire to peer into the locked chambers of
|
||
Barney’s house of life. His past and his future concerned her not. Only
|
||
this rapturous present. Nothing else mattered.
|
||
|
||
Once he went away and stayed away two days and nights. He had asked
|
||
Valancy if she would be afraid to stay alone and she had said she would
|
||
not. He never told her where he had been. She was not afraid to be
|
||
alone, but she was horribly lonely. The sweetest sound she had ever
|
||
heard was Lady Jane’s clatter through the woods when Barney returned.
|
||
And then his signal whistle from the shore. She ran down to the landing
|
||
rock to greet him—to nestle herself into his eager arms—they _did_ seem
|
||
eager.
|
||
|
||
“Have you missed me, Moonlight?” Barney was whispering.
|
||
|
||
“It seems a hundred years since you went away,” said Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“I won’t leave you again.”
|
||
|
||
“You must,” protested Valancy, “if you want to. I’d be miserable if I
|
||
thought you wanted to go and didn’t, because of me. I want you to feel
|
||
perfectly free.”
|
||
|
||
Barney laughed—a little cynically.
|
||
|
||
“There is no such thing as freedom on earth,” he said. “Only different
|
||
kinds of bondages. And comparative bondages. _You_ think you are free
|
||
now because you’ve escaped from a peculiarly unbearable kind of
|
||
bondage. But are you? You love me—_that’s_ a bondage.”
|
||
|
||
“Who said or wrote that ‘the prison unto which we doom ourselves no
|
||
prison is’?” asked Valancy dreamily, clinging to his arm as they
|
||
climbed up the rock steps.
|
||
|
||
“Ah, now you have it,” said Barney. “That’s all the freedom we can hope
|
||
for—the freedom to choose our prison. But, Moonlight,”—he stopped at
|
||
the door of the Blue Castle and looked about him—at the glorious lake,
|
||
the great, shadowy woods, the bonfires, the twinkling
|
||
lights—“Moonlight, I’m glad to be home again. When I came down through
|
||
the woods and saw my home lights—mine—gleaming out under the old
|
||
pines—something I’d never seen before—oh, girl, I was glad—glad!”
|
||
|
||
But in spite of Barney’s doctrine of bondage, Valancy thought they were
|
||
splendidly free. It was amazing to be able to sit up half the night and
|
||
look at the moon if you wanted to. To be late for meals if you wanted
|
||
to—she who had always been rebuked so sharply by her mother and so
|
||
reproachfully by Cousin Stickles if she were one minute late. Dawdle
|
||
over meals as long as you wanted to. Leave your crusts if you wanted
|
||
to. Not come home at all for meals if you wanted to. Sit on a sun-warm
|
||
rock and paddle your bare feet in the hot sand if you wanted to. Just
|
||
sit and do nothing in the beautiful silence if you wanted to. In short,
|
||
do any fool thing you wanted to whenever the notion took you. If _that_
|
||
wasn’t freedom, what was?
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXX
|
||
|
||
|
||
They didn’t spend all their days on the island. They spent more than
|
||
half of them wandering at will through the enchanted Muskoka country.
|
||
Barney knew the woods as a book and he taught their lore and craft to
|
||
Valancy. He could always find trail and haunt of the shy wood people.
|
||
Valancy learned the different fairy-likenesses of the mosses—the charm
|
||
and exquisiteness of woodland blossoms. She learned to know every bird
|
||
at sight and mimic its call—though never so perfectly as Barney. She
|
||
made friends with every kind of tree. She learned to paddle a canoe as
|
||
well as Barney himself. She liked to be out in the rain and she never
|
||
caught cold.
|
||
|
||
Sometimes they took a lunch with them and went berrying—strawberries
|
||
and blueberries. How pretty blueberries were—the dainty green of the
|
||
unripe berries, the glossy pinks and scarlets of the half ripes, the
|
||
misty blue of the fully matured! And Valancy learned the real flavour
|
||
of the strawberry in its highest perfection. There was a certain sunlit
|
||
dell on the banks of Mistawis along which white birches grew on one
|
||
side and on the other still, changeless ranks of young spruces. There
|
||
were long grasses at the roots of the birches, combed down by the winds
|
||
and wet with morning dew late into the afternoons. Here they found
|
||
berries that might have graced the banquets of Lucullus, great
|
||
ambrosial sweetnesses hanging like rubies to long, rosy stalks. They
|
||
lifted them by the stalk and ate them from it, uncrushed and virgin,
|
||
tasting each berry by itself with all its wild fragrance ensphered
|
||
therein. When Valancy carried any of these berries home that elusive
|
||
essence escaped and they became nothing more than the common berries of
|
||
the market-place—very kitchenly good indeed, but not as they would have
|
||
been, eaten in their birch dell until her fingers were stained as pink
|
||
as Aurora’s eyelids.
|
||
|
||
Or they went after water-lilies. Barney knew where to find them in the
|
||
creeks and bays of Mistawis. Then the Blue Castle was glorious with
|
||
them, every receptacle that Valancy could contrive filled with the
|
||
exquisite things. If not water lilies then cardinal flowers, fresh and
|
||
vivid from the swamps of Mistawis, where they burned like ribbons of
|
||
flame.
|
||
|
||
Sometimes they went trouting on little nameless rivers or hidden brooks
|
||
on whose banks Naiads might have sunned their white, wet limbs. Then
|
||
all they took with them were some raw potatoes and salt. They roasted
|
||
the potatoes over a fire and Barney showed Valancy how to cook the
|
||
trout by wrapping them in leaves, coating them with mud and baking them
|
||
in a bed of hot coals. Never were such delicious meals. Valancy had
|
||
such an appetite it was no wonder she put flesh on her bones.
|
||
|
||
Or they just prowled and explored through woods that always seemed to
|
||
be expecting something wonderful to happen. At least, that was the way
|
||
Valancy felt about them. Down the next hollow—over the next hill—you
|
||
would find it.
|
||
|
||
“We don’t know where we’re going, but isn’t it fun to go?” Barney used
|
||
to say.
|
||
|
||
Once or twice night overtook them, too far from their Blue Castle to
|
||
get back. But Barney made a fragrant bed of bracken and fir boughs and
|
||
they slept on it dreamlessly, under a ceiling of old spruces with moss
|
||
hanging from them, while beyond them moonlight and the murmur of pines
|
||
blended together so that one could hardly tell which was light and
|
||
which was sound.
|
||
|
||
There were rainy days, of course, when Muskoka was a wet green land.
|
||
Days when showers drifted across Mistawis like pale ghosts of rain and
|
||
they never thought of staying in because of it. Days when it rained in
|
||
right good earnest and they had to stay in. Then Barney shut himself up
|
||
in Bluebeard’s Chamber and Valancy read, or dreamed on the wolfskins
|
||
with Good Luck purring beside her and Banjo watching them suspiciously
|
||
from his own peculiar chair. On Sunday evenings they paddled across to
|
||
a point of land and walked from there through the woods to the little
|
||
Free Methodist church. One felt really too happy for Sunday. Valancy
|
||
had never really liked Sundays before.
|
||
|
||
And always, Sundays and weekdays, she was with Barney. Nothing else
|
||
really mattered. And what a companion he was! How understanding! How
|
||
jolly! How—how Barney-like! That summed it all up.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had taken some of her two hundred dollars out of the bank and
|
||
spent it in pretty clothes. She had a little smoke-blue chiffon which
|
||
she always put on when they spent the evening at home—smoke-blue with
|
||
touches of silver about it. It was after she began wearing it that
|
||
Barney began calling her Moonlight.
|
||
|
||
“Moonlight and blue twilight—that is what you look like in that dress.
|
||
I like it. It belongs to you. You aren’t exactly pretty, but you have
|
||
some adorable beauty-spots. Your eyes. And that little kissable dent
|
||
just between your collar bones. You have the wrist and ankle of an
|
||
aristocrat. That little head of yours is beautifully shaped. And when
|
||
you look backward over your shoulder you’re maddening—especially in
|
||
twilight or moonlight. An elf maiden. A wood sprite. You belong to the
|
||
woods, Moonlight—you should never be out of them. In spite of your
|
||
ancestry, there is something wild and remote and untamed about you. And
|
||
you have such a nice, sweet, throaty, summery voice. Such a nice voice
|
||
for love-making.”
|
||
|
||
“Shure an’ ye’ve kissed the Blarney Stone,” scoffed Valancy. But she
|
||
tasted these compliments for weeks.
|
||
|
||
She got a pale green bathing-suit, too—a garment which would have given
|
||
her clan their deaths if they had ever seen her in it. Barney taught
|
||
her how to swim. Sometimes she put her bathing-dress on when she got up
|
||
and didn’t take it off until she went to bed—running down to the water
|
||
for a plunge whenever she felt like it and sprawling on the sun-warm
|
||
rocks to dry.
|
||
|
||
She had forgotten all the old humiliating things that used to come up
|
||
against her in the night—the injustices and the disappointments. It was
|
||
as if they had all happened to some other person—not to her, Valancy
|
||
Snaith, who had always been happy.
|
||
|
||
“I understand now what it means to be born again,” she told Barney.
|
||
|
||
Holmes speaks of grief “staining backward” through the pages of life;
|
||
but Valancy found her happiness had stained backward likewise and
|
||
flooded with rose-colour her whole previous drab existence. She found
|
||
it hard to believe that she had ever been lonely and unhappy and
|
||
afraid.
|
||
|
||
“When death comes, I shall have lived,” thought Valancy. “I shall have
|
||
had my hour.”
|
||
|
||
And her dust-pile!
|
||
|
||
One day Valancy had heaped up the sand in the little island cove in a
|
||
tremendous cone and stuck a gay little Union Jack on top of it.
|
||
|
||
“What are you celebrating?” Barney wanted to know.
|
||
|
||
“I’m just exorcising an old demon,” Valancy told him.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXI
|
||
|
||
|
||
Autumn came. Late September with cool nights. They had to forsake the
|
||
verandah; but they kindled a fire in the big fireplace and sat before
|
||
it with jest and laughter. They left the doors open, and Banjo and Good
|
||
Luck came and went at pleasure. Sometimes they sat gravely on the
|
||
bearskin rug between Barney and Valancy; sometimes they slunk off into
|
||
the mystery of the chill night outside. The stars smouldered in the
|
||
horizon mists through the old oriel. The haunting, persistent croon of
|
||
the pine-trees filled the air. The little waves began to make soft,
|
||
sobbing splashes on the rocks below them in the rising winds. They
|
||
needed no light but the firelight that sometimes leaped up and revealed
|
||
them—sometimes shrouded them in shadow. When the night wind rose higher
|
||
Barney would shut the door and light a lamp and read to her—poetry and
|
||
essays and gorgeous, dim chronicles of ancient wars. Barney never would
|
||
read novels: he vowed they bored him. But sometimes she read them
|
||
herself, curled up on the wolf skins, laughing aloud in peace. For
|
||
Barney was not one of those aggravating people who can never hear you
|
||
smiling audibly over something you’ve read without inquiring placidly,
|
||
“What is the joke?”
|
||
|
||
October—with a gorgeous pageant of color around Mistawis, into which
|
||
Valancy plunged her soul. Never had she imagined anything so splendid.
|
||
A great, tinted peace. Blue, wind-winnowed skies. Sunlight sleeping in
|
||
the glades of that fairyland. Long dreamy purple days paddling idly in
|
||
their canoe along shores and up the rivers of crimson and gold. A
|
||
sleepy, red hunter’s moon. Enchanted tempests that stripped the leaves
|
||
from the trees and heaped them along the shores. Flying shadows of
|
||
clouds. What had all the smug, opulent lands out front to compare with
|
||
this?
|
||
|
||
November—with uncanny witchery in its changed trees. With murky red
|
||
sunsets flaming in smoky crimson behind the westering hills. With dear
|
||
days when the austere woods were beautiful and gracious in a dignified
|
||
serenity of folded hands and closed eyes—days full of a fine, pale
|
||
sunshine that sifted through the late, leafless gold of the
|
||
juniper-trees and glimmered among the grey beeches, lighting up
|
||
evergreen banks of moss and washing the colonnades of the pines. Days
|
||
with a high-sprung sky of flawless turquoise. Days when an exquisite
|
||
melancholy seemed to hang over the landscape and dream about the lake.
|
||
But days, too, of the wild blackness of great autumn storms, followed
|
||
by dank, wet, streaming nights when there was witch-laughter in the
|
||
pines and fitful moans among the mainland trees. What cared they? Old
|
||
Tom had built his roof well, and his chimney drew.
|
||
|
||
“Warm fire—books—comfort—safety from storm—our cats on the rug.
|
||
Moonlight,” said Barney, “would you be any happier now if you had a
|
||
million dollars?”
|
||
|
||
“No—nor half so happy. I’d be bored by conventions and obligations
|
||
then.”
|
||
|
||
December. Early snows and Orion. The pale fires of the Milky Way. It
|
||
was really winter now—wonderful, cold, starry winter. How Valancy had
|
||
always hated winter! Dull, brief, uneventful days. Long, cold,
|
||
companionless nights. Cousin Stickles with her back that had to be
|
||
rubbed continually. Cousin Stickles making weird noises gargling her
|
||
throat in the mornings. Cousin Stickles whining over the price of coal.
|
||
Her mother, probing, questioning, ignoring. Endless colds and
|
||
bronchitis—or the dread of it. Redfern’s Liniment and Purple Pills.
|
||
|
||
But now she loved winter. Winter was beautiful “up back”—almost
|
||
intolerably beautiful. Days of clear brilliance. Evenings that were
|
||
like cups of glamour—the purest vintage of winter’s wine. Nights with
|
||
their fire of stars. Cold, exquisite winter sunrises. Lovely ferns of
|
||
ice all over the windows of the Blue Castle. Moonlight on birches in a
|
||
silver thaw. Ragged shadows on windy evenings—torn, twisted, fantastic
|
||
shadows. Great silences, austere and searching. Jewelled, barbaric
|
||
hills. The sun suddenly breaking through grey clouds over long, white
|
||
Mistawis. Icy-grey twilights, broken by snow-squalls, when their cosy
|
||
living-room, with its goblins of firelight and inscrutable cats seemed
|
||
cosier than ever. Every hour brought a new revelation and wonder.
|
||
|
||
Barney ran Lady Jane into Roaring Abel’s barn and taught Valancy how to
|
||
snowshoe—Valancy, who ought to be laid up with bronchitis. But Valancy
|
||
had not even a cold. Later on in the winter Barney had a terrible one
|
||
and Valancy nursed him through it with a dread of pneumonia in her
|
||
heart. But Valancy’s colds seemed to have gone where old moons go.
|
||
Which was luck—for she hadn’t even Redfern’s Liniment. She had
|
||
thoughtfully bought a bottle at the Port and Barney had hurled it into
|
||
frozen Mistawis with a scowl.
|
||
|
||
“Bring no more of that devilish stuff here,” he had ordered briefly. It
|
||
was the first and last time he had spoken harshly to her.
|
||
|
||
They went for long tramps through the exquisite reticence of winter
|
||
woods and the silver jungles of frosted trees, and found loveliness
|
||
everywhere.
|
||
|
||
At times they seemed to be walking through a spellbound world of
|
||
crystal and pearl, so white and radiant were clearings and lakes and
|
||
sky. The air was so crisp and clear that it was half intoxicating.
|
||
|
||
Once they stood in a hesitation of ecstasy at the entrance of a narrow
|
||
path between ranks of birches. Every twig and spray was outlined in
|
||
snow. The undergrowth along its sides was a little fairy forest cut out
|
||
of marble. The shadows cast by the pale sunshine were fine and
|
||
spiritual.
|
||
|
||
“Come away,” said Barney, turning. “We must not commit the desecration
|
||
of tramping through there.”
|
||
|
||
One evening they came upon a snowdrift far back in an old clearing
|
||
which was in the exact likeness of a beautiful woman’s profile. Seen
|
||
too close by, the resemblance was lost, as in the fairy-tale of the
|
||
Castle of St. John. Seen from behind, it was a shapeless oddity. But at
|
||
just the right distance and angle the outline was so perfect that when
|
||
they came suddenly upon it, gleaming out against the dark background of
|
||
spruce in the glow of that winter sunset they both exclaimed in
|
||
amazement. There was a low, noble brow, a straight, classic nose, lips
|
||
and chin and cheek-curve modelled as if some goddess of old time had
|
||
sat to the sculptor, and a breast of such cold, swelling purity as the
|
||
very spirit of the winter woods might display.
|
||
|
||
“‘All the beauty that old Greece and Rome, sung painted, taught,’”
|
||
quoted Barney.
|
||
|
||
“And to think no human eyes save ours have seen or will see it,”
|
||
breathed Valancy, who felt at times as if she were living in a book by
|
||
John Foster. As she looked around her she recalled some passages she
|
||
had marked in the new Foster book Barney had brought her from the
|
||
Port—with an adjuration not to expect _him_ to read or listen to it.
|
||
|
||
“‘All the tintings of winter woods are extremely delicate and
|
||
elusive,’” recalled Valancy. “‘When the brief afternoon wanes and the
|
||
sun just touches the tops of the hills, there seems to be all over the
|
||
woods an abundance, not of colour, but of the spirit of colour. There
|
||
is really nothing but pure white after all, but one has the impression
|
||
of fairy-like blendings of rose and violet, opal and heliotrope on the
|
||
slopes—in the dingles and along the curves of the forest-land. You feel
|
||
sure the tint is there, but when you look at it directly it is gone.
|
||
From the corner of your eye you are aware that it is lurking over
|
||
yonder in a spot where there was nothing but pale purity a moment ago.
|
||
Only just when the sun is setting is there a fleeting moment of real
|
||
colour. Then the redness streams out over the snow and incarnadines the
|
||
hills and rivers and smites the crest of the pines with flame. Just a
|
||
few minutes of transfiguration and revelation—and it is gone.’
|
||
|
||
“I wonder if John Foster ever spent a winter in Mistawis,” said
|
||
Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Not likely,” scoffed Barney. “People who write tosh like that
|
||
generally write it in a warm house on some smug city street.”
|
||
|
||
“You are too hard on John Foster,” said Valancy severely. “No one could
|
||
have written that little paragraph I read you last night without having
|
||
seen it first—you know he couldn’t.”
|
||
|
||
“I didn’t listen to it,” said Barney morosely. “You know I told you I
|
||
wouldn’t.”
|
||
|
||
“Then you’ve got to listen to it now,” persisted Valancy. She made him
|
||
stand still on his snowshoes while she repeated it.
|
||
|
||
“‘She is a rare artist, this old Mother Nature, who works “for the joy
|
||
of working” and not in any spirit of vain show. Today the fir woods are
|
||
a symphony of greens and greys, so subtle that you cannot tell where
|
||
one shade begins to be the other. Grey trunk, green bough, grey-green
|
||
moss above the white, grey-shadowed floor. Yet the old gypsy doesn’t
|
||
like unrelieved monotones. She must have a dash of colour. See it. A
|
||
broken dead fir bough, of a beautiful red-brown, swinging among the
|
||
beards of moss.’”
|
||
|
||
“Good Lord, do you learn all that fellow’s books by heart?” was
|
||
Barney’s disgusted reaction as he strode off.
|
||
|
||
“John Foster’s books were all that saved my soul alive the past five
|
||
years,” averred Valancy. “Oh, Barney, look at that exquisite filigree
|
||
of snow in the furrows of that old elm-tree trunk.”
|
||
|
||
When they came out to the lake they changed from snowshoes to skates
|
||
and skated home. For a wonder Valancy had learned, when she was a
|
||
little schoolgirl, to skate on the pond behind the Deerwood school. She
|
||
never had any skates of her own, but some of the other girls had lent
|
||
her theirs and she seemed to have a natural knack of it. Uncle Benjamin
|
||
had once promised her a pair of skates for Christmas, but when
|
||
Christmas came he had given her rubbers instead. She had never skated
|
||
since she grew up, but the old trick came back quickly, and glorious
|
||
were the hours she and Barney spent skimming over the white lakes and
|
||
past the dark islands where the summer cottages were closed and silent.
|
||
Tonight they flew down Mistawis before the wind, in an exhilaration
|
||
that crimsoned Valancy’s cheeks under her white tam. And at the end was
|
||
her dear little house, on the island of pines, with a coating of snow
|
||
on its roof, sparkling in the moonlight. Its windows glinted impishly
|
||
at her in the stray gleams.
|
||
|
||
“Looks exactly like a picture-book, doesn’t it?” said Barney.
|
||
|
||
They had a lovely Christmas. No rush. No scramble. No niggling attempts
|
||
to make ends meet. No wild effort to remember whether she hadn’t given
|
||
the same kind of present to the same person two Christmases before—no
|
||
mob of last-minute shoppers—no dreary family “reunions” where she sat
|
||
mute and unimportant—no attacks of “nerves.” They decorated the Blue
|
||
Castle with pine boughs, and Valancy made delightful little tinsel
|
||
stars and hung them up amid the greenery. She cooked a dinner to which
|
||
Barney did full justice, while Good Luck and Banjo picked the bones.
|
||
|
||
“A land that can produce a goose like that is an admirable land,” vowed
|
||
Barney. “Canada forever!” And they drank to the Union Jack a bottle of
|
||
dandelion wine that Cousin Georgiana had given Valancy along with the
|
||
bedspread.
|
||
|
||
“One never knows,” Cousin Georgiana had said solemnly, “when one may
|
||
need a little stimulant.”
|
||
|
||
Barney had asked Valancy what she wanted for a Christmas present.
|
||
|
||
“Something frivolous and unnecessary,” said Valancy, who had got a pair
|
||
of goloshes last Christmas and two long-sleeved, woolen undervests the
|
||
year before. And so on back.
|
||
|
||
To her delight, Barney gave her a necklace of pearl beads. Valancy had
|
||
wanted a string of milky pearl beads—like congealed moonshine—all her
|
||
life. And these were so pretty. All that worried her was that they were
|
||
really too good. They must have cost a great deal—fifteen dollars, at
|
||
least. Could Barney afford that? She didn’t know a thing about his
|
||
finances. She had refused to let him buy any of her clothes—she had
|
||
enough for that, she told him, as long as she would need clothes. In a
|
||
round, black jar on the chimney-piece Barney put money for their
|
||
household expenses—always enough. The jar was never empty, though
|
||
Valancy never caught him replenishing it. He couldn’t have much, of
|
||
course, and that necklace—but Valancy tossed care aside. She would wear
|
||
it and enjoy it. It was the first pretty thing she had ever had.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXII
|
||
|
||
|
||
New Year. The old, shabby, inglorious outlived calendar came down. The
|
||
new one went up. January was a month of storms. It snowed for three
|
||
weeks on end. The thermometer went miles below zero and stayed there.
|
||
But, as Barney and Valancy pointed out to each other, there were no
|
||
mosquitoes. And the roar and crackle of their big fire drowned the
|
||
howls of the north wind. Good Luck and Banjo waxed fat and developed
|
||
resplendent coats of thick, silky fur. Nip and Tuck had gone.
|
||
|
||
“But they’ll come back in spring,” promised Barney.
|
||
|
||
There was no monotony. Sometimes they had dramatic little private spats
|
||
that never even thought of becoming quarrels. Sometimes Roaring Abel
|
||
dropped in—for an evening or a whole day—with his old tartan cap and
|
||
his long red beard coated with snow. He generally brought his fiddle
|
||
and played for them, to the delight of all except Banjo, who would go
|
||
temporarily insane and retreat under Valancy’s bed. Sometimes Abel and
|
||
Barney talked while Valancy made candy for them; sometimes they sat and
|
||
smoked in silence _à la_ Tennyson and Carlyle, until the Blue Castle
|
||
reeked and Valancy fled to the open. Sometimes they played checkers
|
||
fiercely and silently the whole night through. Sometimes they all ate
|
||
the russet apples Abel had brought, while the jolly old clock ticked
|
||
the delightful minutes away.
|
||
|
||
“A plate of apples, an open fire, and ‘a jolly goode booke whereon to
|
||
looke’ are a fair substitute for heaven,” vowed Barney. “Any one can
|
||
have the streets of gold. Let’s have another whack at Carman.”
|
||
|
||
It was easier now for the Stirlings to believe Valancy of the dead. Not
|
||
even dim rumours of her having been over at the Port came to trouble
|
||
them, though she and Barney used to skate there occasionally to see a
|
||
movie and eat hot dogs shamelessly at the corner stand afterwards.
|
||
Presumably none of the Stirlings ever thought about her—except Cousin
|
||
Georgiana, who used to lie awake worrying about poor Doss. Did she have
|
||
enough to eat? Was that dreadful creature good to her? Was she warm
|
||
enough at nights?
|
||
|
||
Valancy was quite warm at nights. She used to wake up and revel
|
||
silently in the cosiness of those winter nights on that little island
|
||
in the frozen lake. The nights of other winters had been so cold and
|
||
long. Valancy hated to wake up in them and think about the bleakness
|
||
and emptiness of the day that had passed and the bleakness and
|
||
emptiness of the day that would come. Now she almost counted that
|
||
night lost on which she didn’t wake up and lie awake for half an hour
|
||
just being happy, while Barney’s regular breathing went on beside her,
|
||
and through the open door the smouldering brands in the fireplace
|
||
winked at her in the gloom. It was very nice to feel a little Lucky cat
|
||
jump up on your bed in the darkness and snuggle down at your feet,
|
||
purring; but Banjo would be sitting dourly by himself out in front of
|
||
the fire like a brooding demon. At such moments Banjo was anything but
|
||
canny, but Valancy loved his uncanniness.
|
||
|
||
The side of the bed had to be right against the window. There was no
|
||
other place for it in the tiny room. Valancy, lying there, could look
|
||
out of the window, through the big pine boughs that actually touched
|
||
it, away up Mistawis, white and lustrous as a pavement of pearl, or
|
||
dark and terrible in the storm. Sometimes the pine boughs tapped
|
||
against the panes with friendly signals. Sometimes she heard the little
|
||
hissing whisper of snow against them right at her side. Some nights the
|
||
whole outer world seemed given over to the empery of silence; then came
|
||
nights when there would be a majestic sweep of wind in the pines;
|
||
nights of dear starlight when it whistled freakishly and joyously
|
||
around the Blue Castle; brooding nights before storm when it crept
|
||
along the floor of the lake with a low, wailing cry of boding and
|
||
mystery. Valancy wasted many perfectly good sleeping hours in these
|
||
delightful communings. But she could sleep as long in the morning as
|
||
she wanted to. Nobody cared. Barney cooked his own breakfast of bacon
|
||
and eggs and then shut himself up in Bluebeard’s Chamber till supper
|
||
time. Then they had an evening of reading and talk. They talked about
|
||
everything in this world and a good many things in other worlds. They
|
||
laughed over their own jokes until the Blue Castles re-echoed.
|
||
|
||
“You _do_ laugh beautifully,” Barney told her once. “It makes me want
|
||
to laugh just to hear you laugh. There’s a trick about your laugh—as if
|
||
there were so much more fun back of it that you wouldn’t let out. Did
|
||
you laugh like that before you came to Mistawis, Moonlight?”
|
||
|
||
“I never laughed at all—really. I used to giggle foolishly when I felt
|
||
I was expected to. But now—the laugh just comes.”
|
||
|
||
It struck Valancy more than once that Barney himself laughed a great
|
||
deal oftener than he used to and that his laugh had changed. It had
|
||
become wholesome. She rarely heard the little cynical note in it now.
|
||
Could a man laugh like that who had crimes on his conscience? Yet
|
||
Barney _must_ have done something. Valancy had indifferently made up
|
||
her mind as to what he had done. She concluded he was a defaulting bank
|
||
cashier. She had found in one of Barney’s books an old clipping cut
|
||
from a Montreal paper in which a vanished, defaulting cashier was
|
||
described. The description applied to Barney—as well as to half a dozen
|
||
other men Valancy knew—and from some casual remarks he had dropped from
|
||
time to time she concluded he knew Montreal rather well. Valancy had it
|
||
all figured out in the back of her mind. Barney had been in a bank. He
|
||
was tempted to take some money to speculate—meaning, of course, to put
|
||
it back. He had got in deeper and deeper, until he found there was
|
||
nothing for it but flight. It had happened so to scores of men. He had,
|
||
Valancy was absolutely certain, never meant to do wrong. Of course, the
|
||
name of the man in the clipping was Bernard Craig. But Valancy had
|
||
always thought Snaith was an alias. Not that it mattered.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had only one unhappy night that winter. It came in late March
|
||
when most of the snow had gone and Nip and Tuck had returned. Barney
|
||
had gone off in the afternoon for a long, woodland tramp, saying he
|
||
would be back by dark if all went well. Soon after he had gone it had
|
||
begun to snow. The wind rose and presently Mistawis was in the grip of
|
||
one of the worst storms of the winter. It tore up the lake and struck
|
||
at the little house. The dark angry woods on the mainland scowled at
|
||
Valancy, menace in the toss of their boughs, threats in their windy
|
||
gloom, terror in the roar of their hearts. The trees on the island
|
||
crouched in fear. Valancy spent the night huddled on the rug before the
|
||
fire, her face buried in her hands, when she was not vainly peering
|
||
from the oriel in a futile effort to see through the furious smoke of
|
||
wind and snow that had once been blue-dimpled Mistawis. Where was
|
||
Barney? Lost on the merciless lakes? Sinking exhausted in the drifts of
|
||
the pathless woods? Valancy died a hundred deaths that night and paid
|
||
in full for all the happiness of her Blue Castle. When morning came the
|
||
storm broke and cleared; the sun shone gloriously over Mistawis; and at
|
||
noon Barney came home. Valancy saw him from the oriel as he came around
|
||
a wooded point, slender and black against the glistening white world.
|
||
She did not run to meet him. Something happened to her knees and she
|
||
dropped down on Banjo’s chair. Luckily Banjo got out from under in
|
||
time, his whiskers bristling with indignation. Barney found her there,
|
||
her head buried in her hands.
|
||
|
||
“Barney, I thought you were dead,” she whispered.
|
||
|
||
Barney hooted.
|
||
|
||
“After two years of the Klondike did you think a baby storm like this
|
||
could get me? I spent the night in that old lumber shanty over by
|
||
Muskoka. A bit cold but snug enough. Little goose! Your eyes look like
|
||
burnt holes in a blanket. Did you sit up here all night worrying over
|
||
an old woodsman like me?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” said Valancy. “I—couldn’t help it. The storm seemed so wild.
|
||
Anybody might have been lost in it. When—I saw you—come round the
|
||
point—there—something happened to me. I don’t know what. It was as if I
|
||
had died and come back to life. I can’t describe it any other way.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Spring. Mistawis black and sullen for a week or two, then flaming in
|
||
sapphire and turquoise, lilac and rose again, laughing through the
|
||
oriel, caressing its amethyst islands, rippling under winds soft as
|
||
silk. Frogs, little green wizards of swamp and pool, singing everywhere
|
||
in the long twilights and long into the nights; islands fairy-like in a
|
||
green haze; the evanescent beauty of wild young trees in early leaf;
|
||
frost-like loveliness of the new foliage of juniper-trees; the woods
|
||
putting on a fashion of spring flowers, dainty, spiritual things akin
|
||
to the soul of the wilderness; red mist on the maples; willows decked
|
||
out with glossy silver pussies; all the forgotten violets of Mistawis
|
||
blooming again; lure of April moons.
|
||
|
||
“Think how many thousands of springs have been here on Mistawis—and all
|
||
of them beautiful,” said Valancy. “Oh, Barney, look at that wild plum!
|
||
I will—I must quote from John Foster. There’s a passage in one of his
|
||
books—I’ve re-read it a hundred times. He must have written it before a
|
||
tree just like that:
|
||
|
||
“‘Behold the young wild plum-tree which has adorned herself after
|
||
immemorial fashion in a wedding-veil of fine lace. The fingers of wood
|
||
pixies must have woven it, for nothing like it ever came from an
|
||
earthly loom. I vow the tree is conscious of its loveliness. It is
|
||
bridling before our very eyes—as if its beauty were not the most
|
||
ephemeral thing in the woods, as it is the rarest and most exceeding,
|
||
for today it is and tomorrow it is not. Every south wind purring
|
||
through the boughs will winnow away a shower of slender petals. But
|
||
what matter? Today it is queen of the wild places and it is always
|
||
today in the woods.’”
|
||
|
||
“I’m sure you feel much better since you’ve got that out of your
|
||
system,” said Barney heartlessly.
|
||
|
||
“Here’s a patch of dandelions,” said Valancy, unsubdued. “Dandelions
|
||
shouldn’t grow in the woods, though. They haven’t any sense of the
|
||
fitness of things at all. They are too cheerful and self-satisfied.
|
||
They haven’t any of the mystery and reserve of the real wood-flowers.”
|
||
|
||
“In short, they’ve no secrets,” said Barney. “But wait a bit. The woods
|
||
will have their own way even with those obvious dandelions. In a little
|
||
while all that obtrusive yellowness and complacency will be gone and
|
||
we’ll find here misty, phantom-like globes hovering over those long
|
||
grasses in full harmony with the traditions of the forest.”
|
||
|
||
“That sounds John Fosterish,” teased Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“What have I done that deserved a slam like that?” complained Barney.
|
||
|
||
One of the earliest signs of spring was the renaissance of Lady Jane.
|
||
Barney put her on roads that no other car would look at, and they went
|
||
through Deerwood in mud to the axles. They passed several Stirlings,
|
||
who groaned and reflected that now spring was come they would encounter
|
||
that shameless pair everywhere. Valancy, prowling about Deerwood shops,
|
||
met Uncle Benjamin on the street; but he did not realise until he had
|
||
gone two blocks further on that the girl in the scarlet-collared
|
||
blanket coat, with cheeks reddened in the sharp April air and the
|
||
fringe of black hair over laughing, slanted eyes, was Valancy. When he
|
||
did realise it, Uncle Benjamin was indignant. What business had Valancy
|
||
to look like—like—like a young girl? The way of the transgressor was
|
||
hard. Had to be. Scriptural and proper. Yet Valancy’s path couldn’t be
|
||
hard. She wouldn’t look like that if it were. There was something
|
||
wrong. It was almost enough to make a man turn modernist.
|
||
|
||
Barney and Valancy clanged on to the Port, so that it was dark when
|
||
they went through Deerwood again. At her old home Valancy, seized with
|
||
a sudden impulse, got out, opened the little gate and tiptoed around to
|
||
the sitting-room window. There sat her mother and Cousin Stickles
|
||
drearily, grimly knitting. Baffling and inhuman as ever. If they had
|
||
looked the least bit lonesome Valancy would have gone in. But they did
|
||
not. Valancy would not disturb them for worlds.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXIV
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy had two wonderful moments that spring.
|
||
|
||
One day, coming home through the woods, with her arms full of trailing
|
||
arbutus and creeping spruce, she met a man who she knew must be Allan
|
||
Tierney. Allan Tierney, the celebrated painter of beautiful women. He
|
||
lived in New York in winter, but he owned an island cottage at the
|
||
northern end of Mistawis to which he always came the minute the ice was
|
||
out of the lake. He was reputed to be a lonely, eccentric man. He never
|
||
flattered his sitters. There was no need to, for he would not paint any
|
||
one who required flattery. To be painted by Allan Tierney was all the
|
||
_cachet_ of beauty a woman could desire. Valancy had heard so much
|
||
about him that she couldn’t help turning her head back over her
|
||
shoulder for another shy, curious look at him. A shaft of pale spring
|
||
sunlight fell through a great pine athwart her bare black head and her
|
||
slanted eyes. She wore a pale green sweater and had bound a fillet of
|
||
linnæa vine about her hair. The feathery fountain of trailing spruce
|
||
overflowed her arms and fell around her. Allan Tierney’s eyes lighted
|
||
up.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve had a caller,” said Barney the next afternoon, when Valancy had
|
||
returned from another flower quest.
|
||
|
||
“Who?” Valancy was surprised but indifferent. She began filling a
|
||
basket with arbutus.
|
||
|
||
“Allan Tierney. He wants to paint you, Moonlight.”
|
||
|
||
“Me!” Valancy dropped her basket and her arbutus. “You’re laughing at
|
||
me, Barney.”
|
||
|
||
“I’m not. That’s what Tierney came for. To ask my permission to paint
|
||
my wife—as the Spirit of Muskoka, or something like that.”
|
||
|
||
“But—but—” stammered Valancy, “Allan Tierney never paints any but—any
|
||
but——”
|
||
|
||
“Beautiful women,” finished Barney. “Conceded. Q. E. D., Mistress
|
||
Barney Snaith is a beautiful woman.”
|
||
|
||
“Nonsense,” said Valancy, stooping to retrieve her arbutus. “You _know_
|
||
that’s nonsense, Barney. I know I’m a heap better-looking than I was a
|
||
year ago, but I’m not beautiful.”
|
||
|
||
“Allan Tierney never makes a mistake,” said Barney. “You forget,
|
||
Moonlight, that there are different kinds of beauty. Your imagination
|
||
is obsessed by the very obvious type of your cousin Olive. Oh, I’ve
|
||
seen her—she’s a stunner—but you’d never catch Allan Tierney wanting to
|
||
paint her. In the horrible but expressive slang phrase, she keeps all
|
||
her goods in the shop-window. But in your subconscious mind you have a
|
||
conviction that nobody can be beautiful who doesn’t look like Olive.
|
||
Also, you remember your face as it was in the days when your soul was
|
||
not allowed to shine through it. Tierney said something about the curve
|
||
of your cheek as you looked back over your shoulder. You know I’ve
|
||
often told you it was distracting. And he’s quite batty about your
|
||
eyes. If I wasn’t absolutely sure it was solely professional—he’s
|
||
really a crabbed old bachelor, you know—I’d be jealous.”
|
||
|
||
“Well, I don’t want to be painted,” said Valancy. “I hope you told him
|
||
that.”
|
||
|
||
“I couldn’t tell him that. I didn’t know what _you_ wanted. But I told
|
||
him _I_ didn’t want my wife painted—hung up in a salon for the mob to
|
||
stare at. Belonging to another man. For of course I couldn’t buy the
|
||
picture. So even if you had wanted to be painted, Moonlight, your
|
||
tyrannous husband would not have permitted it. Tierney was a bit
|
||
squiffy. He isn’t used to being turned down like that. His requests are
|
||
almost like royalty’s.”
|
||
|
||
“But we are outlaws,” laughed Valancy. “We bow to no decrees—we
|
||
acknowledge no sovereignty.”
|
||
|
||
In her heart she thought unashamedly:
|
||
|
||
“I wish Olive could know that Allan Tierney wanted to paint me. _Me!_
|
||
Little-old-maid-Valancy-Stirling-that-was.”
|
||
|
||
Her second wonder-moment came one evening in May. She realised that
|
||
Barney actually liked her. She had always hoped he did, but sometimes
|
||
she had a little, disagreeable, haunting dread that he was just kind
|
||
and nice and chummy out of pity; knowing that she hadn’t long to live
|
||
and determined she should have a good time as long as she did live; but
|
||
away back in his mind rather looking forward to freedom again, with no
|
||
intrusive woman creature in his island fastness and no chattering thing
|
||
beside him in his woodland prowls. She knew he could never love her.
|
||
She did not even want him to. If he loved her he would be unhappy when
|
||
she died—Valancy never flinched from the plain word. No “passing away”
|
||
for her. And she did not want him to be the least unhappy. But neither
|
||
did she want him to be glad—or relieved. She wanted him to like her and
|
||
miss her as a good chum. But she had never been sure until this night
|
||
that he did.
|
||
|
||
They had walked over the hills in the sunset. They had the delight of
|
||
discovering a virgin spring in a ferny hollow and had drunk together
|
||
from it out of a birch-bark cup; they had come to an old tumble-down
|
||
rail fence and sat on it for a long time. They didn’t talk much, but
|
||
Valancy had a curious sense of _oneness_. She knew that she couldn’t
|
||
have felt that if he hadn’t liked her.
|
||
|
||
“You nice little thing,” said Barney suddenly. “Oh, you nice little
|
||
thing! Sometimes I feel you’re too nice to be real—that I’m just
|
||
dreaming you.”
|
||
|
||
“Why can’t I die now—this very minute—when I am so happy!” thought
|
||
Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Well, it couldn’t be so very long now. Somehow, Valancy had always felt
|
||
she would live out the year Dr. Trent had allotted. She had not been
|
||
careful—she had never tried to be. But, somehow, she had always counted
|
||
on living out her year. She had not let herself think about it at all.
|
||
But now, sitting here beside Barney, with her hand in his, a sudden
|
||
realisation came to her. She had not had a heart attack for a long
|
||
while—two months at least. The last one she had had was two or three
|
||
nights before Barney was out in the storm. Since then she had not
|
||
remembered she had a heart. Well, no doubt, it betokened the nearness
|
||
of the end. Nature had given up the struggle. There would be no more
|
||
pain.
|
||
|
||
“I’m afraid heaven will be very dull after this past year,” thought
|
||
Valancy. “But perhaps one will not remember. Would that be—nice? No,
|
||
no. I don’t want to forget Barney. I’d rather be miserable in heaven
|
||
remembering him than happy forgetting him. And I’ll always remember
|
||
through all eternity—that he really, _really_ liked me.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXV
|
||
|
||
|
||
Thirty seconds can be very long sometimes. Long enough to work a
|
||
miracle or a revolution. In thirty seconds life changed wholly for
|
||
Barney and Valancy Snaith.
|
||
|
||
They had gone around the lake one June evening in their disappearing
|
||
propeller, fished for an hour in a little creek, left their boat there,
|
||
and walked up through the woods to Port Lawrence two miles away.
|
||
Valancy prowled a bit in the shops and got herself a new pair of
|
||
sensible shoes. Her old pair had suddenly and completely given out, and
|
||
this evening she had been compelled to put on the little fancy pair of
|
||
patent-leather with rather high, slender heels, which she had bought in
|
||
a fit of folly one day in the winter because of their beauty and
|
||
because she wanted to make one foolish, extravagant purchase in her
|
||
life. She sometimes put them on of an evening in the Blue Castle, but
|
||
this was the first time she had worn them outside. She had not found it
|
||
any too easy walking up through the woods in them, and Barney guyed her
|
||
unmercifully about them. But in spite of the inconvenience, Valancy
|
||
secretly rather liked the look of her trim ankles and high instep above
|
||
those pretty, foolish shoes and did not change them in the shop as she
|
||
might have done.
|
||
|
||
The sun was hanging low above the pines when they left Port Lawrence.
|
||
To the north of it the woods closed around the town quite suddenly.
|
||
Valancy always had a sense of stepping from one world to another—from
|
||
reality to fairyland—when she went out of Port Lawrence and in a
|
||
twinkling found it shut off behind her by the armies of the pines.
|
||
|
||
A mile and a half from Port Lawrence there was a small railroad station
|
||
with a little station-house which at this hour of the day was deserted,
|
||
since no local train was due. Not a soul was in sight when Barney and
|
||
Valancy emerged from the woods. Off to the left a sudden curve in the
|
||
track hid it from view, but over the tree-tops beyond, the long plume
|
||
of smoke betokened the approach of a through train. The rails were
|
||
vibrating to its thunder as Barney stepped across the switch. Valancy
|
||
was a few steps behind him, loitering to gather June-bells along the
|
||
little, winding path. But there was plenty of time to get across before
|
||
the train came. She stepped unconcernedly over the first rail.
|
||
|
||
She could never tell how it happened. The ensuing thirty seconds always
|
||
seemed in her recollection like a chaotic nightmare in which she
|
||
endured the agony of a thousand lifetimes.
|
||
|
||
The heel of her pretty, foolish shoe caught in a crevice of the switch.
|
||
She could not pull it loose.
|
||
|
||
“Barney—Barney!” she called in alarm.
|
||
|
||
Barney turned—saw her predicament—saw her ashen face—dashed back. He
|
||
tried to pull her clear—he tried to wrench her foot from the prisoning
|
||
hold. In vain. In a moment the train would sweep around the curve—would
|
||
be on them.
|
||
|
||
“Go—go—quick—you’ll be killed, Barney!” shrieked Valancy, trying to
|
||
push him away.
|
||
|
||
Barney dropped on his knees, ghost-white, frantically tearing at her
|
||
shoe-lace. The knot defied his trembling fingers. He snatched a knife
|
||
from his pocket and slashed at it. Valancy still strove blindly to push
|
||
him away. Her mind was full of the hideous thought that Barney was
|
||
going to be killed. She had no thought for her own danger.
|
||
|
||
“Barney—go—go—for God’s sake—go!”
|
||
|
||
“Never!” muttered Barney between his set teeth. He gave one mad wrench
|
||
at the lace. As the train thundered around the curve he sprang up and
|
||
caught Valancy—dragging her clear, leaving the shoe behind her. The
|
||
wind from the train as it swept by turned to icy cold the streaming
|
||
perspiration on his face.
|
||
|
||
“Thank God!” he breathed.
|
||
|
||
For a moment they stood stupidly staring at each other, two white,
|
||
shaken, wild-eyed creatures. Then they stumbled over to the little seat
|
||
at the end of the station-house and dropped on it. Barney buried his
|
||
face in his hands and said not a word. Valancy sat, staring straight
|
||
ahead of her with unseeing eyes at the great pine woods, the stumps of
|
||
the clearing, the long, gleaming rails. There was only one thought in
|
||
her dazed mind—a thought that seemed to burn it as a shaving of fire
|
||
might burn her body.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent had told her over a year ago that she had a serious form of
|
||
heart-disease—that any excitement might be fatal.
|
||
|
||
If that were so, why was she not dead now? This very minute? She had
|
||
just experienced as much and as terrible excitement as most people
|
||
experience in a lifetime, crowded into that endless thirty seconds. Yet
|
||
she had not died of it. She was not an iota the worse for it. A little
|
||
wobbly at the knees, as any one would have been; a quicker heart-beat,
|
||
as any one would have; nothing more.
|
||
|
||
Why!
|
||
|
||
_Was it possible Dr. Trent had made a mistake?_
|
||
|
||
Valancy shivered as if a cold wind had suddenly chilled her to the
|
||
soul. She looked at Barney, hunched up beside her. His silence was very
|
||
eloquent. Had the same thought occurred to him? Did he suddenly find
|
||
himself confronted by the appalling suspicion that he was married, not
|
||
for a few months or a year, but for good and all to a woman he did not
|
||
love and who had foisted herself upon him by some trick or lie? Valancy
|
||
turned sick before the horror of it. It could not be. It would be too
|
||
cruel—too devilish. Dr. Trent _couldn’t_ have made a mistake.
|
||
Impossible. He was one of the best heart specialists in Ontario. She
|
||
was foolish—unnerved by the recent horror. She remembered some of the
|
||
hideous spasms of pain she had had. There must be something serious the
|
||
matter with her heart to account for them.
|
||
|
||
But she had not had any for nearly three months.
|
||
|
||
Why?
|
||
|
||
Presently Barney bestirred himself. He stood up, without looking at
|
||
Valancy, and said casually:
|
||
|
||
“I suppose we’d better be hiking back. Sun’s getting low. Are you good
|
||
for the rest of the road?”
|
||
|
||
“I think so,” said Valancy miserably.
|
||
|
||
Barney went across the clearing and picked up the parcel he had
|
||
dropped—the parcel containing her new shoes. He brought it to her and
|
||
let her take out the shoes and put them on without any assistance,
|
||
while he stood with his back to her and looked out over the pines.
|
||
|
||
They walked in silence down the shadowy trail to the lake. In silence
|
||
Barney steered his boat into the sunset miracle that was Mistawis. In
|
||
silence they went around feathery headlands and across coral bays and
|
||
silver rivers where canoes were slipping up and down in the afterglow.
|
||
In silence they went past cottages echoing with music and laughter. In
|
||
silence drew up at the landing-place below the Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
Valancy went up the rock steps and into the house. She dropped
|
||
miserably on the first chair she came to and sat there staring through
|
||
the oriel, oblivious of Good Luck’s frantic purrs of joy and Banjo’s
|
||
savage glares of protest at her occupancy of his chair.
|
||
|
||
Barney came in a few minutes later. He did not come near her, but he
|
||
stood behind her and asked gently if she felt any the worse for her
|
||
experience. Valancy would have given her year of happiness to have been
|
||
able honestly to answer “Yes.”
|
||
|
||
“No,” she said flatly.
|
||
|
||
Barney went into Bluebeard’s Chamber and shut the door. She heard him
|
||
pacing up and down—up and down. He had never paced like that before.
|
||
|
||
And an hour ago—only an hour ago—she had been so happy!
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXVI
|
||
|
||
|
||
Finally Valancy went to bed. Before she went she re-read Dr. Trent’s
|
||
letter. It comforted her a little. So positive. So assured. The writing
|
||
so black and steady. Not the writing of a man who didn’t know what he
|
||
was writing about. But she could not sleep. She pretended to be asleep
|
||
when Barney came in. Barney pretended to go to sleep. But Valancy knew
|
||
perfectly well he wasn’t sleeping any more than she was. She knew he
|
||
was lying there, staring through the darkness. Thinking of what? Trying
|
||
to face—what?
|
||
|
||
Valancy, who had spent so many happy wakeful hours of night lying by
|
||
that window, now paid the price of them all in this one night of
|
||
misery. A horrible, portentous fact was slowly looming out before her
|
||
from the nebula of surmise and fear. She could not shut her eyes to
|
||
it—push it away—ignore it.
|
||
|
||
There could be nothing seriously wrong with her heart, no matter what
|
||
Dr. Trent had said. If there had been, those thirty seconds would have
|
||
killed her. It was no use to recall Dr. Trent’s letter and reputation.
|
||
The greatest specialists made mistakes sometimes. Dr. Trent had made
|
||
one.
|
||
|
||
Towards morning Valancy fell into a fitful doze with ridiculous dreams.
|
||
One of them was of Barney taunting her with having tricked him. In her
|
||
dream she lost her temper and struck him violently on the head with her
|
||
rolling-pin. He proved to be made of glass and shivered into splinters
|
||
all over the floor. She woke with a cry of horror—a gasp of relief—a
|
||
short laugh over the absurdity of her dream—a miserable sickening
|
||
recollection of what had happened.
|
||
|
||
Barney was gone. Valancy knew, as people sometimes know
|
||
things—inescapably, without being told—that he was not in the house or
|
||
in Bluebeard’s Chamber either. There was a curious silence in the
|
||
living-room. A silence with something uncanny about it. The old clock
|
||
had stopped. Barney must have forgotten to wind it up, something he had
|
||
never done before. The room without it was dead, though the sunshine
|
||
streamed in through the oriel and dimples of light from the dancing
|
||
waves beyond quivered over the walls.
|
||
|
||
The canoe was gone but Lady Jane was under the mainland trees. So
|
||
Barney had betaken himself to the wilds. He would not return till
|
||
night—perhaps not even then. He must be angry with her. That furious
|
||
silence of his must mean anger—cold, deep, justifiable resentment.
|
||
Well, Valancy knew what she must do first. She was not suffering very
|
||
keenly now. Yet the curious numbness that pervaded her being was in a
|
||
way worse than pain. It was as if something in her had died. She forced
|
||
herself to cook and eat a little breakfast. Mechanically she put the
|
||
Blue Castle in perfect order. Then she put on her hat and coat, locked
|
||
the door and hid the key in the hollow of the old pine and crossed to
|
||
the mainland in the motor boat. She was going into Deerwood to see Dr.
|
||
Trent. She must _know_.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXVII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent looked at her blankly and fumbled among his recollections.
|
||
|
||
“Er—Miss—Miss—”
|
||
|
||
“Mrs. Snaith,” said Valancy quietly. “I was Miss Valancy Stirling when
|
||
I came to you last May—over a year ago. I wanted to consult you about
|
||
my heart.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent’s face cleared.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, of course. I remember now. I’m really not to blame for not knowing
|
||
you. You’ve changed—splendidly. And married. Well, well, it has agreed
|
||
with you. You don’t look much like an invalid now, hey? I remember that
|
||
day. I was badly upset. Hearing about poor Ned bowled me over. But
|
||
Ned’s as good as new and you, too, evidently. I told you so, you
|
||
know—told you there was nothing to worry over.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked at him.
|
||
|
||
“You told me, in your letter,” she said slowly, with a curious feeling
|
||
that some one else was talking through her lips, “that I had angina
|
||
pectoris—in the last stages—complicated with an aneurism. That I might
|
||
die any minute—that I couldn’t live longer than a year.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent stared at her.
|
||
|
||
“Impossible!” he said blankly. “I couldn’t have told you that!”
|
||
|
||
Valancy took his letter from her bag and handed it to him.
|
||
|
||
“Miss Valancy Stirling,” he read. “Yes—yes. Of course I wrote you—on
|
||
the train—that night. But I _told_ you there was nothing serious——”
|
||
|
||
“Read your letter,” insisted Valancy.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent took it out—unfolded it—glanced over it. A dismayed look came
|
||
into his face. He jumped to his feet and strode agitatedly about the
|
||
room.
|
||
|
||
“Good heavens! This is the letter I meant for old Miss Jane Sterling.
|
||
From Port Lawrence. She was here that day, too. I sent you the wrong
|
||
letter. What unpardonable carelessness! But I was beside myself that
|
||
night. My God, and you believed that—you believed—but you didn’t—you
|
||
went to another doctor——”
|
||
|
||
Valancy stood up, turned round, looked foolishly about her and sat down
|
||
again.
|
||
|
||
“I believed it,” she said faintly. “I didn’t go to any other doctor.
|
||
I—I—it would take too long to explain. But I believed I was going to
|
||
die soon.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Trent halted before her.
|
||
|
||
“I can never forgive myself. What a year you must have had! But you
|
||
don’t look—I can’t understand!”
|
||
|
||
“Never mind,” said Valancy dully. “And so there’s nothing the matter
|
||
with my heart?”
|
||
|
||
“Well, nothing serious. You had what is called pseudo-angina. It’s
|
||
never fatal—passes away completely with proper treatment. Or sometimes
|
||
with a shock of joy. Have you been troubled much with it?”
|
||
|
||
“Not at all since March,” answered Valancy. She remembered the
|
||
marvellous feeling of re-creation she had had when she saw Barney
|
||
coming home safe after the storm. Had that “shock of joy” cured her?
|
||
|
||
“Then likely you’re all right. I told you what to do in the letter you
|
||
should have got. _And_ of course I supposed you’d go to another doctor.
|
||
Child, why didn’t you?”
|
||
|
||
“I didn’t want anybody to know.”
|
||
|
||
“Idiot,” said Dr. Trent bluntly. “I can’t understand such folly. And
|
||
poor old Miss Sterling. She must have got your letter—telling her there
|
||
was nothing serious the matter. Well, well, it couldn’t have made any
|
||
difference. Her case was hopeless. Nothing that she could have done or
|
||
left undone could have made any difference. I was surprised she lived
|
||
as long as she did—two months. She was here that day—not long before
|
||
you. I hated to tell her the truth. You think I’m a blunt old
|
||
curmudgeon—and my letters _are_ blunt enough. I can’t soften things.
|
||
But I’m a snivelling coward when it comes to telling a woman face to
|
||
face that she’s got to die soon. I told her I’d look up some features
|
||
of the case I wasn’t quite sure of and let her know next day. But you
|
||
got her letter—look here, ‘Dear Miss S-t-_e_-r-l-i-n-g.’”
|
||
|
||
“Yes. I noticed that. But I thought it a mistake. I didn’t know there
|
||
were any Sterlings in Port Lawrence.”
|
||
|
||
“She was the only one. A lonely old soul. Lived by herself with only a
|
||
little home girl. She died two months after she was here—died in her
|
||
sleep. My mistake couldn’t have made any difference to her. But you! I
|
||
can’t forgive myself for inflicting a year’s misery on you. It’s time I
|
||
retired, all right, when I do things like that—even if my son was
|
||
supposed to be fatally injured. Can you ever forgive me?”
|
||
|
||
A year of misery! Valancy smiled a tortured smile as she thought of all
|
||
the happiness Dr. Trent’s mistake had bought her. But she was paying
|
||
for it now—oh, she was paying. If to feel was to live she was living
|
||
with a vengeance.
|
||
|
||
She let Dr. Trent examine her and answered all his questions. When he
|
||
told her she was fit as a fiddle and would probably live to be a
|
||
hundred, she got up and went away silently. She knew that there were a
|
||
great many horrible things outside waiting to be thought over. Dr.
|
||
Trent thought she was odd. Anybody would have thought, from her
|
||
hopeless eyes and woebegone face, that he had given her a sentence of
|
||
death instead of life. Snaith? Snaith? Who the devil had she married?
|
||
He had never heard of Snaiths in Deerwood. And she had been such a
|
||
sallow, faded, little old maid. Gad, but marriage _had_ made a
|
||
difference in her, anyhow, whoever Snaith was. Snaith? Dr. Trent
|
||
remembered. That rapscallion “up back!” Had Valancy Stirling married
|
||
_him_? And her clan had let her! Well, probably that solved the
|
||
mystery. She had married in haste and repented at leisure, and that was
|
||
why she wasn’t overjoyed at learning she was a good insurance prospect,
|
||
after all. Married! To God knew whom! Or what! Jail-bird? Defaulter?
|
||
Fugitive from justice? It must be pretty bad if she had looked to death
|
||
as a release, poor girl. But why were women such fools? Dr. Trent
|
||
dismissed Valancy from his mind, though to the day of his death he was
|
||
ashamed of putting those letters into the wrong envelopes.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXVIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy walked quickly through the back streets and through Lover’s
|
||
Lane. She did not want to meet any one she knew. She didn’t want to
|
||
meet even people she didn’t know. She hated to be seen. Her mind was so
|
||
confused, so torn, so messy. She felt that her appearance must be the
|
||
same. She drew a sobbing breath of relief as she left the village
|
||
behind and found herself on the “up back” road. There was little fear
|
||
of meeting any one she knew here. The cars that fled by her with
|
||
raucous shrieks were filled with strangers. One of them was packed with
|
||
young people who whirled past her singing uproariously:
|
||
|
||
“My wife has the fever, O then,
|
||
My wife has the fever, O then,
|
||
My wife has the fever,
|
||
Oh, I hope it won’t leave her,
|
||
For I want to be single again.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy flinched as if one of them had leaned from the car and cut her
|
||
across the face with a whip.
|
||
|
||
She had made a covenant with death and death had cheated her. Now life
|
||
stood mocking her. She had trapped Barney. Trapped him into marrying
|
||
her. And divorce was so hard to get in Ontario. So expensive. And
|
||
Barney was poor.
|
||
|
||
With life, fear had come back into her heart. Sickening fear. Fear of
|
||
what Barney would think. Would say. Fear of the future that must be
|
||
lived without him. Fear of her insulted, repudiated clan.
|
||
|
||
She had had one draught from a divine cup and now it was dashed from
|
||
her lips. With no kind, friendly death to rescue her. She must go on
|
||
living and longing for it. Everything was spoiled, smirched, defaced.
|
||
Even that year in the Blue Castle. Even her unashamed love for Barney.
|
||
It had been beautiful because death waited. Now it was only sordid
|
||
because death was gone. How could any one bear an unbearable thing?
|
||
|
||
She must go back and tell him. Make him believe she had not meant to
|
||
trick him—she _must_ make him believe that. She must say good-bye to
|
||
her Blue Castle and return to the brick house on Elm Street. Back to
|
||
everything she had thought left behind forever. The old bondage—the old
|
||
fears. But that did not matter. All that mattered now was that Barney
|
||
must somehow be made to believe she had not consciously tricked him.
|
||
|
||
When Valancy reached the pines by the lake she was brought out of her
|
||
daze of pain by a startling sight. There, parked by the side of old,
|
||
battered ragged Lady Jane, was another car. A wonderful car. A purple
|
||
car. Not a dark, royal purple but a blatant, screaming purple. It shone
|
||
like a mirror and its interior plainly indicated the car caste of Vere
|
||
de Vere. On the driver’s seat sat a haughty chauffeur in livery. And in
|
||
the tonneau sat a man who opened the door and bounced out nimbly as
|
||
Valancy came down the path to the landing-place. He stood under the
|
||
pines waiting for her and Valancy took in every detail of him.
|
||
|
||
A stout, short, pudgy man, with a broad, rubicund, good-humoured face—a
|
||
clean-shaven face, though an unparalysed little imp at the back of
|
||
Valancy’s paralysed mind suggested the thought, “Such a face should
|
||
have a fringe of white whisker around it.” Old-fashioned, steel-rimmed
|
||
spectacles on prominent blue eyes. A pursey mouth; a little round,
|
||
knobby nose. Where—where—where, groped Valancy, had she seen that face
|
||
before? It seemed as familiar to her as her own.
|
||
|
||
The stranger wore a green hat and a light fawn overcoat over a suit of
|
||
a loud check pattern. His tie was a brilliant green of lighter shade;
|
||
on the plump hand he outstretched to intercept Valancy an enormous
|
||
diamond winked at her. But he had a pleasant, fatherly smile, and in
|
||
his hearty, unmodulated voice was a ring of something that attracted
|
||
her.
|
||
|
||
“Can you tell me, Miss, if that house yonder belongs to a Mr. Redfern?
|
||
And if so, how can I get to it?”
|
||
|
||
Redfern! A vision of bottles seemed to dance before Valancy’s eyes—long
|
||
bottles of bitters—round bottles of hair tonic—square bottles of
|
||
liniment—short, corpulent little bottles of purple pills—and all of
|
||
them bearing that very prosperous, beaming moon-face and steel-rimmed
|
||
spectacles on the label.
|
||
|
||
Dr. Redfern!
|
||
|
||
“No,” said Valancy faintly. “No—that house belongs to Mr. Snaith.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Redfern nodded.
|
||
|
||
“Yes, I understand Bernie’s been calling himself Snaith. Well, it’s his
|
||
middle name—was his poor mother’s. Bernard Snaith Redfern—that’s him.
|
||
And now, Miss, you can tell me how to get over to that island? Nobody
|
||
seems to be home there. I’ve done some waving and yelling. Henry,
|
||
there, wouldn’t yell. He’s a one-job man. But old Doc Redfern can yell
|
||
with the best of them yet, and ain’t above doing it. Raised nothing but
|
||
a couple of crows. Guess Bernie’s out for the day.”
|
||
|
||
“He was away when I left this morning,” said Valancy. “I suppose he
|
||
hasn’t come home yet.”
|
||
|
||
She spoke flatly and tonelessly. This last shock had temporarily bereft
|
||
her of whatever little power of reasoning had been left her by Dr.
|
||
Trent’s revelation. In the back of her mind the aforesaid little imp
|
||
was jeeringly repeating a silly old proverb, “It never rains but it
|
||
pours.” But she was not trying to think. What was the use?
|
||
|
||
Dr. Redfern was gazing at her in perplexity.
|
||
|
||
“When you left this morning? Do you live—over there?”
|
||
|
||
He waved his diamond at the Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
“Of course,” said Valancy stupidly. “I’m his wife.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Redfern took out a yellow silk handkerchief, removed his hat and
|
||
mopped his brow. He was very bald, and Valancy’s imp whispered, “Why be
|
||
bald? Why lose your manly beauty? Try Redfern’s Hair Vigor. It keeps
|
||
you young.”
|
||
|
||
“Excuse me,” said Dr. Redfern. “This is a bit of a shock.”
|
||
|
||
“Shocks seem to be in the air this morning.” The imp said this out loud
|
||
before Valancy could prevent it.
|
||
|
||
“I didn’t know Bernie was—married. I didn’t think he _would_ have got
|
||
married without telling his old dad.”
|
||
|
||
Were Dr. Redfern’s eyes misty? Amid her own dull ache of misery and
|
||
fear and dread, Valancy felt a pang of pity for him.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t blame him,” she said hurriedly. “It—it wasn’t his fault. It—was
|
||
all my doing.”
|
||
|
||
“You didn’t ask him to marry you, I suppose,” twinkled Dr. Redfern. “He
|
||
might have let me know. I’d have got acquainted with my daughter-in-law
|
||
before this if he had. But I’m glad to meet you now, my dear—very glad.
|
||
You look like a sensible young woman. I used to sorter fear Barney’d
|
||
pick out some pretty bit of fluff just because she was good-looking.
|
||
They were all after him, of course. Wanted his money? Eh? Didn’t like
|
||
the pills and the bitters but liked the dollars. Eh? Wanted to dip
|
||
their pretty little fingers in old Doc’s millions. Eh?”
|
||
|
||
“Millions!” said Valancy faintly. She wished she could sit down
|
||
somewhere—she wished she could have a chance to think—she wished she
|
||
and the Blue Castle could sink to the bottom of Mistawis and vanish
|
||
from human sight forevermore.
|
||
|
||
“Millions,” said Dr. Redfern complacently. “And Bernie chucks them
|
||
for—that.” Again he shook the diamond contemptuously at the Blue
|
||
Castle. “Wouldn’t you think he’d have more sense? And all on account of
|
||
a white bit of a girl. He must have got over _that_ feeling, anyhow,
|
||
since he’s married. You must persuade him to come back to civilisation.
|
||
All nonsense wasting his life like this. Ain’t you going to take me
|
||
over to your house, my dear? I suppose you’ve some way of getting
|
||
there.”
|
||
|
||
“Of course,” said Valancy stupidly. She led the way down to the little
|
||
cove where the disappearing propeller boat was snuggled.
|
||
|
||
“Does your—your man want to come, too?”
|
||
|
||
“Who? Henry. Not he. Look at him sitting there disapproving.
|
||
Disapproves of the whole expedition. The trail up from the road nearly
|
||
gave him a conniption. Well, it _was_ a devilish road to put a car on.
|
||
Whose old bus is that up there?”
|
||
|
||
“Barney’s.”
|
||
|
||
“Good Lord! Does Bernie Redfern ride in a thing like that? It looks
|
||
like the great-great-grandmother of all the Fords.”
|
||
|
||
“It isn’t a Ford. It’s a Grey Slosson,” said Valancy spiritedly. For
|
||
some occult reason, Dr. Redfern’s good-humoured ridicule of dear old
|
||
Lady Jane stung her to life. A life that was all pain but still _life_.
|
||
Better than the horrible half-dead-and-half-aliveness of the past few
|
||
minutes—or years. She waved Dr. Redfern curtly into the boat and took
|
||
him over to the Blue Castle. The key was still in the old pine—the
|
||
house still silent and deserted. Valancy took the doctor through the
|
||
living-room to the western verandah. She must at least be out where
|
||
there was air. It was still sunny, but in the southwest a great
|
||
thundercloud, with white crests and gorges of purple shadow, was slowly
|
||
rising over Mistawis. The doctor dropped with a gasp on a rustic chair
|
||
and mopped his brow again.
|
||
|
||
“Warm, eh? Lord, what a view! Wonder if it would soften Henry if he
|
||
could see it.”
|
||
|
||
“Have you had dinner?” asked Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Yes, my dear—had it before we left Port Lawrence. Didn’t know what
|
||
sort of wild hermit’s hollow we were coming to, you see. Hadn’t any
|
||
idea I was going to find a nice little daughter-in-law here all ready
|
||
to toss me up a meal. Cats, eh? Puss, puss! See that. Cats love me.
|
||
Bernie was always fond of cats! It’s about the only thing he took from
|
||
me. He’s his poor mother’s boy.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy had been thinking idly that Barney must resemble his mother.
|
||
She had remained standing by the steps, but Dr. Redfern waved her to
|
||
the swing seat.
|
||
|
||
“Sit down, dear. Never stand when you can sit. I want to get a good
|
||
look at Barney’s wife. Well, well, I like your face. No beauty—you
|
||
don’t mind my saying that—you’ve sense enough to know it, I reckon. Sit
|
||
down.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy sat down. To be obliged to sit still when mental agony urges us
|
||
to stride up and down is the refinement of torture. Every nerve in her
|
||
being was crying out to be alone—to be hidden. But she had to sit and
|
||
listen to Dr. Redfern, who didn’t mind talking at all.
|
||
|
||
“When do you think Bernie will be back?”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know—not before night probably.”
|
||
|
||
“Where did he go?”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know that either. Likely to the woods—up back.”
|
||
|
||
“So he doesn’t tell you his comings and goings, either? Bernie was
|
||
always a secretive young devil. Never understood him. Just like his
|
||
poor mother. But I thought a lot of him. It hurt me when he disappeared
|
||
as he did. Eleven years ago. I haven’t seen my boy for eleven years.”
|
||
|
||
“Eleven years.” Valancy was surprised. “It’s only six since he came
|
||
here.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, he was in the Klondike before that—and all over the world. He used
|
||
to drop me a line now and then—never give any clue to where he was but
|
||
just a line to say he was all right. I s’pose he’s told you all about
|
||
it.”
|
||
|
||
“No. I know nothing of his past life,” said Valancy with sudden
|
||
eagerness. She wanted to know—she must know now. It hadn’t mattered
|
||
before. Now she must know all. And she could never hear it from Barney.
|
||
She might never even see him again. If she did, it would not be to talk
|
||
of his past.
|
||
|
||
“What happened? Why did he leave his home? Tell me. Tell me.”
|
||
|
||
“Well, it ain’t much of a story. Just a young fool gone mad because of
|
||
a quarrel with his girl. Only Bernie was a stubborn fool. Always
|
||
stubborn. You never could make that boy do anything he didn’t want to
|
||
do. From the day he was born. Yet he was always a quiet, gentle little
|
||
chap, too. Good as gold. His poor mother died when he was only two
|
||
years old. I’d just begun to make money with my Hair Vigor. I’d dreamed
|
||
the formula for it, you see. Some dream that. The cash rolled in.
|
||
Bernie had everything he wanted. I sent him to the best schools—private
|
||
schools. I meant to make a gentleman of him. Never had any chance
|
||
myself. Meant he should have every chance. He went through McGill. Got
|
||
honours and all that. I wanted him to go in for law. He hankered after
|
||
journalism and stuff like that. Wanted me to buy a paper for him—or
|
||
back him in publishing what he called a ‘real, worthwhile,
|
||
honest-to-goodness Canadian Magazine.’ I s’pose I’d have done it—I
|
||
always did what he wanted me to do. Wasn’t he all I had to live for? I
|
||
wanted him to be happy. And he never was happy. Can you believe it? Not
|
||
that he said so. But I’d always a feeling that he wasn’t happy.
|
||
Everything he wanted—all the money he could spend—his own bank
|
||
account—travel—seeing the world—but he wasn’t happy. Not till he fell
|
||
in love with Ethel Traverse. Then he was happy for a little while.”
|
||
|
||
The cloud had reached the sun and a great, chill, purple shadow came
|
||
swiftly over Mistawis. It touched the Blue Castle—rolled over it.
|
||
Valancy shivered.
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” she said, with painful eagerness, though every word was cutting
|
||
her to the heart. “What—was—she—like?”
|
||
|
||
“Prettiest girl in Montreal,” said Dr. Redfern. “Oh, she was a looker,
|
||
all right. Eh? Gold hair—shiny as silk—great, big, soft, black
|
||
eyes—skin like milk and roses. Don’t wonder Bernie fell for her. And
|
||
brains as well. _She_ wasn’t a bit of fluff. B. A. from McGill. A
|
||
thoroughbred, too. One of the best families. But a bit lean in the
|
||
purse. Eh! Bernie was mad about her. Happiest young fool you ever saw.
|
||
Then—the bust-up.”
|
||
|
||
“What happened?” Valancy had taken off her hat and was absently
|
||
thrusting a pin in and out of it. Good Luck was purring beside her.
|
||
Banjo was regarding Dr. Redfern with suspicion. Nip and Tuck were
|
||
lazily cawing in the pines. Mistawis was beckoning. Everything was the
|
||
same. Nothing was the same. It was a hundred years since yesterday.
|
||
Yesterday, at this time, she and Barney had been eating a belated
|
||
dinner here with laughter. Laughter? Valancy felt that she had done
|
||
with laughter forever. And with tears, for that matter. She had no
|
||
further use for either of them.
|
||
|
||
“Blest if I know, my dear. Some fool quarrel, I suppose. Bernie just
|
||
lit out—disappeared. He wrote me from the Yukon. Said his engagement
|
||
was broken and he wasn’t coming back. And not to try to hunt him up
|
||
because he was never coming back. I didn’t. What was the use? I knew
|
||
Bernie. I went on piling up money because there wasn’t anything else
|
||
to do. But I was mighty lonely. All I lived for was them little notes
|
||
now and then from Bernie—Klondike—England—South
|
||
Africa—China—everywhere. I thought maybe he’d come back some day to his
|
||
lonesome old dad. Then six years ago even the letters stopped. I didn’t
|
||
hear a word of or from him till last Christmas.”
|
||
|
||
“Did he write?”
|
||
|
||
“No. But he drew a check for fifteen thousand dollars on his bank
|
||
account. The bank manager is a friend of mine—one of my biggest
|
||
shareholders. He’d always promised me he’d let me know if Bernie drew
|
||
any checks. Bernie had fifty thousand there. And he’d never touched a
|
||
cent of it till last Christmas. The check was made out to Aynsley’s,
|
||
Toronto——”
|
||
|
||
“Aynsley’s?” Valancy heard herself saying Aynsley’s! She had a box on
|
||
her dressing-table with the Aynsley trademark.
|
||
|
||
“Yes. The big jewellery house there. After I’d thought it over a while,
|
||
I got brisk. I wanted to locate Bernie. Had a special reason for it. It
|
||
was time he gave up his fool hoboing and come to his senses. Drawing
|
||
that fifteen told me there was something in the wind. The manager
|
||
communicated with the Aynsleys—his wife was an Aynsley—and found out
|
||
that Bernard Redfern had bought a pearl necklace there. His address was
|
||
given as Box 444, Port Lawrence, Muskoka, Ont. First I thought I’d
|
||
write. Then I thought I’d wait till the open season for cars and come
|
||
down myself. Ain’t no hand at writing. I’ve motored from Montreal. Got
|
||
to Port Lawrence yesterday. Enquired at the post-office. Told me they
|
||
knew nothing of any Bernard Snaith Redfern, but there was a Barney
|
||
Snaith had a P. O. box there. Lived on an island out here, they said.
|
||
So here I am. And where’s Barney?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy was fingering her necklace. She was wearing fifteen thousand
|
||
dollars around her neck. And she had worried lest Barney had paid
|
||
fifteen dollars for it and couldn’t afford it. Suddenly she laughed in
|
||
Dr. Redfern’s face.
|
||
|
||
“Excuse me. It’s so—amusing,” said poor Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Isn’t it?” said Dr. Redfern, seeing a joke—but not exactly hers. “Now,
|
||
you seem like a sensible young woman, and I dare say you’ve lots of
|
||
influence over Bernie. Can’t you get him to come back to civilisation
|
||
and live like other people? I’ve a house up there. Big as a castle.
|
||
Furnished like a palace. I want company in it—Bernie’s wife—Bernie’s
|
||
children.”
|
||
|
||
“Did Ethel Traverse ever marry?” queried Valancy irrelevantly.
|
||
|
||
“Bless you, yes. Two years after Bernie levanted. But she’s a widow
|
||
now. Pretty as ever. To be frank, that was my special reason for
|
||
wanting to find Bernie. I thought they’d make it up, maybe. But, of
|
||
course, that’s all off now. Doesn’t matter. Bernie’s choice of a wife
|
||
is good enough for me. It’s my boy I want. Think he’ll soon be back?”
|
||
|
||
“I don’t know. But I don’t think he’ll come before night. Quite late,
|
||
perhaps. And perhaps not till tomorrow. But I can put you up
|
||
comfortably. He’ll certainly be back tomorrow.”
|
||
|
||
Dr. Redfern shook his head.
|
||
|
||
“Too damp. I’ll take no chances with rheumatism.”
|
||
|
||
“Why suffer that ceaseless anguish? Why not try Redfern’s Liniment?”
|
||
quoted the imp in the back of Valancy’s mind.
|
||
|
||
“I must get back to Port Lawrence before rain starts. Henry goes quite
|
||
mad when he gets mud on the car. But I’ll come back tomorrow. Meanwhile
|
||
you talk Bernie into reason.”
|
||
|
||
He shook her hand and patted her kindly on the shoulder. He looked as
|
||
if he would have kissed her, with a little encouragement, but Valancy
|
||
did not give it. Not that she would have minded. He was rather dreadful
|
||
and loud—and—and—dreadful. But there was something about him she liked.
|
||
She thought dully that she might have liked being his daughter-in-law
|
||
if he had not been a millionaire. A score of times over. And Barney was
|
||
his son—and heir.
|
||
|
||
She took him over in the motor boat and watched the lordly purple car
|
||
roll away through the woods with Henry at the wheel looking things not
|
||
lawful to be uttered. Then she went back to the Blue Castle. What she
|
||
had to do must be done quickly. Barney _might_ return at any moment.
|
||
And it was certainly going to rain. She was thankful she no longer felt
|
||
very bad. When you are bludgeoned on the head repeatedly, you naturally
|
||
and mercifully become more or less insensible and stupid.
|
||
|
||
She stood briefly like a faded flower bitten by frost, by the hearth,
|
||
looking down on the white ashes of the last fire that had blazed in the
|
||
Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
“At any rate,” she thought wearily, “Barney isn’t poor. He will be able
|
||
to afford a divorce. Quite nicely.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XXXIX
|
||
|
||
|
||
She must write a note. The imp in the back of her mind laughed. In
|
||
every story she had ever read when a runaway wife decamped from home
|
||
she left a note, generally on the pin-cushion. It was not a very
|
||
original idea. But one had to leave something intelligible. What was
|
||
there to do but write a note? She looked vaguely about her for
|
||
something to write with. Ink? There was none. Valancy had never written
|
||
anything since she had come to the Blue Castle, save memoranda of
|
||
household necessaries for Barney. A pencil sufficed for them, but now
|
||
the pencil was not to be found. Valancy absently crossed to the door of
|
||
Bluebeard’s Chamber and tried it. She vaguely expected to find it
|
||
locked, but it opened unresistingly. She had never tried it before, and
|
||
did not know whether Barney habitually kept it locked or not. If he
|
||
did, he must have been badly upset to leave it unlocked. She did not
|
||
realise that she was doing something he had told her not to do. She was
|
||
only looking for something to write with. All her faculties were
|
||
concentrated on deciding just what she would say and how she would say
|
||
it. There was not the slightest curiosity in her as she went into the
|
||
lean-to.
|
||
|
||
There were no beautiful women hanging by their hair on the walls. It
|
||
seemed a very harmless apartment, with a commonplace little sheet-iron
|
||
stove in the middle of it, its pipe sticking out through the roof. At
|
||
one end was a table or counter crowded with odd-looking utensils. Used
|
||
no doubt by Barney in his smelly operations. Chemical experiments,
|
||
probably, she reflected dully. At the other end was a big writing desk
|
||
and swivel-chair. The side walls were lined with books.
|
||
|
||
Valancy went blindly to the desk. There she stood motionless for a few
|
||
minutes, looking down at something that lay on it. A bundle of
|
||
galley-proofs. The page on top bore the title _Wild Honey_, and under
|
||
the title were the words “by John Foster.”
|
||
|
||
The opening sentence—“Pines are the trees of myth and legend. They
|
||
strike their roots deep into the traditions of an older world, but wind
|
||
and star love their lofty tops. What music when old Æolus draws his bow
|
||
across the branches of the pines—” She had heard Barney say that one
|
||
day when they walked under them.
|
||
|
||
So Barney was John Foster!
|
||
|
||
Valancy was not excited. She had absorbed all the shocks and sensations
|
||
that she could compass for one day. This affected her neither one way
|
||
nor the other. She only thought:
|
||
|
||
“So this explains it.”
|
||
|
||
“It” was a small matter that had, somehow, stuck in her mind more
|
||
persistently than its importance seemed to justify. Soon after Barney
|
||
had brought her John Foster’s latest book she had been in a Port
|
||
Lawrence bookshop and heard a customer ask the proprietor for John
|
||
Foster’s new book. The proprietor had said curtly, “Not out yet. Won’t
|
||
be out till next week.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy had opened her lips to say, “Oh, yes, it _is_ out,” but closed
|
||
them again. After all, it was none of her business. She supposed the
|
||
proprietor wanted to cover up his negligence in not getting the book in
|
||
promptly. Now she knew. The book Barney had given her had been one of
|
||
the author’s complimentary copies, sent in advance.
|
||
|
||
Well! Valancy pushed the proofs indifferently aside and sat down in the
|
||
swivel-chair. She took up Barney’s pen—and a vile one it was—pulled a
|
||
sheet of paper to her and began to write. She could not think of
|
||
anything to say except bald facts.
|
||
|
||
|
||
“Dear Barney:—
|
||
|
||
I went to Dr. Trent this morning and found out he had sent me the wrong
|
||
letter by mistake. There never was anything serious the matter with my
|
||
heart and I am quite well now.
|
||
|
||
I did not mean to trick you. Please believe that. I could not bear it
|
||
if you did not believe that. I am very sorry for the mistake. But
|
||
surely you can get a divorce if I leave you. Is desertion a ground for
|
||
divorce in Canada? Of course if there is anything I can do to help or
|
||
hasten it I will do it gladly, if your lawyer will let me know.
|
||
|
||
I thank you for all your kindness to me. I shall never forget it. Think
|
||
as kindly of me as you can, because I did not mean to trap you.
|
||
Good-bye.
|
||
|
||
Yours gratefully,
|
||
|
||
VALANCY.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
It was very cold and stiff, she knew. But to try to say anything else
|
||
would be dangerous—like tearing away a dam. She didn’t know what
|
||
torrent of wild incoherences and passionate anguish might pour out. In
|
||
a postscript she added:
|
||
|
||
|
||
“Your father was here today. He is coming back tomorrow. He told me
|
||
everything. I think you should go back to him. He is very lonely for
|
||
you.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
She put the letter in an envelope, wrote “Barney” across it, and left
|
||
it on the desk. On it she laid the string of pearls. If they had been
|
||
the beads she believed them she would have kept them in memory of that
|
||
wonderful year. But she could not keep the fifteen thousand dollar gift
|
||
of a man who had married her out of pity and whom she was now leaving.
|
||
It hurt her to give up her pretty bauble. That was an odd thing, she
|
||
reflected. The fact that she was leaving Barney did not hurt her—yet.
|
||
It lay at her heart like a cold, insensible thing. If it came to
|
||
life—Valancy shuddered and went out——
|
||
|
||
She put on her hat and mechanically fed Good Luck and Banjo. She locked
|
||
the door and carefully hid the key in the old pine. Then she crossed to
|
||
the mainland in the disappearing propeller. She stood for a moment on
|
||
the bank, looking at her Blue Castle. The rain had not yet come, but
|
||
the sky was dark, and Mistawis grey and sullen. The little house under
|
||
the pines looked very pathetic—a casket rifled of its jewels—a lamp
|
||
with its flame blown out.
|
||
|
||
“I shall never again hear the wind crying over Mistawis at night,”
|
||
thought Valancy. This hurt her, too. She could have laughed to think
|
||
that such a trifle could hurt her at such a time.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XL
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy paused a moment on the porch of the brick house in Elm Street.
|
||
She felt that she ought to knock like a stranger. Her rosebush, she
|
||
idly noticed, was loaded with buds. The rubber-plant stood beside the
|
||
prim door. A momentary horror overcame her—a horror of the existence to
|
||
which she was returning. Then she opened the door and walked in.
|
||
|
||
“I wonder if the Prodigal Son ever felt really at home again,” she
|
||
thought.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles were in the sitting-room. Uncle
|
||
Benjamin was there, too. They looked blankly at Valancy, realising at
|
||
once that something was wrong. This was not the saucy, impudent thing
|
||
who had laughed at them in this very room last summer. This was a
|
||
grey-faced woman with the eyes of a creature who had been stricken by a
|
||
mortal blow.
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked indifferently around the room. She had changed so
|
||
much—and it had changed so little. The same pictures hung on the walls.
|
||
The little orphan who knelt at her never-finished prayer by the bed
|
||
whereon reposed the black kitten that never grew up into a cat. The
|
||
grey “steel engraving” of Quatre Bras, where the British regiment
|
||
forever stood at bay. The crayon enlargement of the boyish father she
|
||
had never known. There they all hung in the same places. The green
|
||
cascade of “Wandering Jew” still tumbled out of the old granite
|
||
saucepan on the window-stand. The same elaborate, never-used pitcher
|
||
stood at the same angle on the sideboard shelf. The blue and gilt vases
|
||
that had been among her mother’s wedding-presents still primly adorned
|
||
the mantelpiece, flanking the china clock of berosed and besprayed ware
|
||
that never went. The chairs in exactly the same places. Her mother and
|
||
Cousin Stickles, likewise unchanged, regarding her with stony
|
||
unwelcome.
|
||
|
||
Valancy had to speak first.
|
||
|
||
“I’ve come home, Mother,” she said tiredly.
|
||
|
||
“So I see.” Mrs. Frederick’s voice was very icy. She had resigned
|
||
herself to Valancy’s desertion. She had almost succeeded in forgetting
|
||
there was a Valancy. She had rearranged and organised her systematic
|
||
life without any reference to an ungrateful, rebellious child. She had
|
||
taken her place again in a society which ignored the fact that she had
|
||
ever had a daughter and pitied her, if it pitied her at all, only in
|
||
discreet whispers and asides. The plain truth was that, by this time,
|
||
Mrs. Frederick did not want Valancy to come back—did not want ever to
|
||
see or hear of her again.
|
||
|
||
And now, of course, Valancy was here. With tragedy and disgrace and
|
||
scandal trailing after her visibly.
|
||
|
||
“So I see,” said Mrs. Frederick. “May I ask why?”
|
||
|
||
“Because—I’m—not—going to die,” said Valancy huskily.
|
||
|
||
“God bless my soul!” said Uncle Benjamin. “Who said you were going to
|
||
die?”
|
||
|
||
“I suppose,” said Cousin Stickles shrewishly—Cousin Stickles did not
|
||
want Valancy back either—“I suppose you’ve found out he has another
|
||
wife—as we’ve been sure all along.”
|
||
|
||
“No. I only wish he had,” said Valancy. She was not suffering
|
||
particularly, but she was very tired. If only the explanations were all
|
||
over and she were upstairs in her old, ugly room—alone. Just alone! The
|
||
rattle of the beads on her mother’s sleeves, as they swung on the arms
|
||
of the reed chair, almost drove her crazy. Nothing else was worrying
|
||
her; but all at once it seemed that she simply could not endure that
|
||
thin, insistent rattle.
|
||
|
||
“My home, as I told you, is always open to you,” said Mrs. Frederick
|
||
stonily, “but I can never forgive you.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy gave a mirthless laugh.
|
||
|
||
“I’d care very little for that if I could only forgive myself,” she
|
||
said.
|
||
|
||
“Come, come,” said Uncle Benjamin testily. But rather enjoying himself.
|
||
He felt he had Valancy under his thumb again. “We’ve had enough of
|
||
mystery. What has happened? Why have you left that fellow? No doubt
|
||
there’s reason enough—but what particular reason is it?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy began to speak mechanically. She told her tale bluntly and
|
||
barely.
|
||
|
||
“A year ago Dr. Trent told me I had angina pectoris and could not live
|
||
long. I wanted to have some—life—before I died. That’s why I went away.
|
||
Why I married Barney. And now I’ve found it is all a mistake. There is
|
||
nothing wrong with my heart. I’ve got to live—and Barney only married
|
||
me out of pity. So I have to leave him—free.”
|
||
|
||
“God bless me!” said Uncle Benjamin. Cousin Stickles began to cry.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy, if you’d only had confidence in your own mother——”
|
||
|
||
“Yes, yes, I know,” said Valancy impatiently. “What’s the use of going
|
||
into that now? I can’t undo this year. God knows I wish I could. I’ve
|
||
tricked Barney into marrying me—and he’s really Bernard Redfern. Dr.
|
||
Redfern’s son, of Montreal. And his father wants him to go back to
|
||
him.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin made a queer sound. Cousin Stickles took her
|
||
black-bordered handkerchief away from her eyes and stared at Valancy. A
|
||
queer gleam suddenly shot into Mrs. Frederick’s stone-grey orbs.
|
||
|
||
“Dr. Redfern—not the Purple Pill man?” she said.
|
||
|
||
Valancy nodded. “He’s John Foster, too—the writer of those nature
|
||
books.”
|
||
|
||
“But—but—” Mrs. Frederick was visibly agitated, though not over the
|
||
thought that she was the mother-in-law of John Foster—“_Dr. Redfern is
|
||
a millionaire_!”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin shut his mouth with a snap.
|
||
|
||
“Ten times over,” he said.
|
||
|
||
Valancy nodded.
|
||
|
||
“Yes. Barney left home years ago—because of—of some
|
||
trouble—some—disappointment. Now he will likely go back. So you see—I
|
||
had to come home. He doesn’t love me. I can’t hold him to a bond he was
|
||
tricked into.”
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin looked incredibly sly.
|
||
|
||
“Did he say so? Does he want to get rid of you?”
|
||
|
||
“No. I haven’t seen him since I found out. But I tell you—he only
|
||
married me out of pity—because I asked him to—because he thought it
|
||
would only be for a little while.”
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick and Cousin Stickles both tried to speak, but Uncle
|
||
Benjamin waved a hand at them and frowned portentously.
|
||
|
||
“Let _me_ handle this,” wave and frown seemed to say. To Valancy:
|
||
|
||
“Well, well, dear, we’ll talk it all over later. You see, we don’t
|
||
quite understand everything yet. As Cousin Stickles says, you should
|
||
have confided in us before. Later on—I dare say we can find a way out
|
||
of this.”
|
||
|
||
“You think Barney can easily get a divorce, don’t you?” said Valancy
|
||
eagerly.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin silenced with another wave the exclamation of horror he
|
||
knew was trembling on Mrs. Frederick’s lips.
|
||
|
||
“Trust to me, Valancy. Everything will arrange itself. Tell me this,
|
||
Dossie. Have you been happy up back? Was Sn—Mr. Redfern good to you?”
|
||
|
||
“I have been very happy and Barney was very good to me,” said Valancy,
|
||
as if reciting a lesson. She remembered when she studied grammar at
|
||
school she had disliked the past and perfect tenses. They had always
|
||
seemed so pathetic. “I have been”—it was all over and done with.
|
||
|
||
“Then don’t worry, little girl.” How amazingly paternal Uncle Benjamin
|
||
was! “Your family will stand behind you. We’ll see what can be done.”
|
||
|
||
“Thank you,” said Valancy dully. Really, it was quite decent of Uncle
|
||
Benjamin. “Can I go and lie down a little while? I’m—I’m—tired.”
|
||
|
||
“Of course you’re tired.” Uncle Benjamin patted her hand gently—very
|
||
gently. “All worn out and nervous. Go and lie down, by all means.
|
||
You’ll see things in quite a different light after you’ve had a good
|
||
sleep.”
|
||
|
||
He held the door open. As she went through he whispered, “What is the
|
||
best way to keep a man’s love?”
|
||
|
||
Valancy smiled wanly. But she had come back to the old life—the old
|
||
shackles. “What?” she asked as meekly as of yore.
|
||
|
||
“Not to return it,” said Uncle Benjamin with a chuckle. He shut the
|
||
door and rubbed his hands. Nodded and smiled mysteriously round the
|
||
room.
|
||
|
||
“Poor little Doss!” he said pathetically.
|
||
|
||
“Do you really suppose that—Snaith—can actually be Dr. Redfern’s son?”
|
||
gasped Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“I see no reason for doubting it. She says Dr. Redfern has been there.
|
||
Why, the man is rich as wedding-cake. Amelia, I’ve always believed
|
||
there was more in Doss than most people thought. You kept her down too
|
||
much—repressed her. She never had a chance to show what was in her. And
|
||
now she’s landed a millionaire for a husband.”
|
||
|
||
“But—” hesitated Mrs. Frederick, “he—he—they told terrible tales about
|
||
him.”
|
||
|
||
“All gossip and invention—all gossip and invention. It’s always been a
|
||
mystery to me why people should be so ready to invent and circulate
|
||
slanders about other people they know absolutely nothing about. I can’t
|
||
understand why you paid so much attention to gossip and surmise. Just
|
||
because he didn’t choose to mix up with everybody, people resented it.
|
||
I was surprised to find what a decent fellow he seemed to be that time
|
||
he came into my store with Valancy. I discounted all the yarns then and
|
||
there.”
|
||
|
||
“But he was seen dead drunk in Port Lawrence once,” said Cousin
|
||
Stickles. Doubtfully, yet as one very willing to be convinced to the
|
||
contrary.
|
||
|
||
“Who saw him?” demanded Uncle Benjamin truculently. “Who saw him? Old
|
||
Jemmy Strang _said_ he saw him. I wouldn’t take old Jemmy Strang’s word
|
||
on oath. He’s too drunk himself half the time to see straight. He said
|
||
he saw him lying drunk on a bench in the Park. Pshaw! Redfern’s been
|
||
asleep there. Don’t worry over _that_.”
|
||
|
||
“But his clothes—and that awful old car—” said Mrs. Frederick
|
||
uncertainly.
|
||
|
||
“Eccentricities of genius,” declared Uncle Benjamin. “You heard Doss
|
||
say he was John Foster. I’m not up in literature myself, but I heard a
|
||
lecturer from Toronto say that John Foster’s books had put Canada on
|
||
the literary map of the world.”
|
||
|
||
“I—suppose—we must forgive her,” yielded Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“Forgive her!” Uncle Benjamin snorted. Really, Amelia was an incredibly
|
||
stupid woman. No wonder poor Doss had gone sick and tired of living
|
||
with her. “Well, yes, I think you’d better forgive her! The question
|
||
is—will Snaith forgive _us_!”
|
||
|
||
“What if she persists in leaving him? You’ve no idea how stubborn she
|
||
can be,” said Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“Leave it all to me, Amelia. Leave it all to me. You women have muddled
|
||
it enough. This whole affair has been bungled from start to finish. If
|
||
you had put yourself to a little trouble years ago, Amelia, she would
|
||
not have bolted over the traces as she did. Just let her alone—don’t
|
||
worry her with advice or questions till she’s ready to talk. She’s
|
||
evidently run away in a panic because she’s afraid he’d be angry with
|
||
her for fooling him. Most extraordinary thing of Trent to tell her such
|
||
a yarn! That’s what comes of going to strange doctors. Well, well, we
|
||
mustn’t blame her too harshly, poor child. Redfern will come after her.
|
||
If he doesn’t, I’ll hunt him up and talk to him as man to man. He may
|
||
be a millionaire, but Valancy is a Stirling. He can’t repudiate her
|
||
just because she was mistaken about her heart disease. Not likely he’ll
|
||
want to. Doss is a little overstrung. Bless me, I must get in the habit
|
||
of calling her Valancy. She isn’t a baby any longer. Now, remember,
|
||
Amelia. Be very kind and sympathetic.”
|
||
|
||
It was something of a large order to expect Mrs. Frederick to be kind
|
||
and sympathetic. But she did her best. When supper was ready she went
|
||
up and asked Valancy if she wouldn’t like a cup of tea. Valancy, lying
|
||
on her bed, declined. She just wanted to be left alone for a while.
|
||
Mrs. Frederick left her alone. She did not even remind Valancy that her
|
||
plight was the outcome of her own lack of daughterly respect and
|
||
obedience. One could not—exactly—say things like that to the
|
||
daughter-in-law of a millionaire.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XLI
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked dully about her old room. It, too, was so exactly the
|
||
same that it seemed almost impossible to believe in the changes that
|
||
had come to her since she had last slept in it. It
|
||
seemed—somehow—indecent that it should be so much the same. There was
|
||
Queen Louise everlastingly coming down the stairway, and nobody had let
|
||
the forlorn puppy in out of the rain. Here was the purple paper blind
|
||
and the greenish mirror. Outside, the old carriage-shop with its
|
||
blatant advertisements. Beyond it, the station with the same derelicts
|
||
and flirtatious flappers.
|
||
|
||
Here the old life waited for her, like some grim ogre that bided his
|
||
time and licked his chops. A monstrous horror of it suddenly possessed
|
||
her. When night fell and she had undressed and got into bed, the
|
||
merciful numbness passed away and she lay in anguish and thought of her
|
||
island under the stars. The camp-fires—all their little household jokes
|
||
and phrases and catch words—their furry beautiful cats—the lights
|
||
agleam on the fairy islands—canoes skimming over Mistawis in the magic
|
||
of morning—white birches shining among the dark spruces like beautiful
|
||
women’s bodies—winter snows and rose-red sunset fires—lakes drunken
|
||
with moonshine—all the delights of her lost paradise. She would not let
|
||
herself think of Barney. Only of these lesser things. She could not
|
||
endure to think of Barney.
|
||
|
||
Then she thought of him inescapably. She ached for him. She wanted his
|
||
arms around her—his face against hers—his whispers in her ear. She
|
||
recalled all his friendly looks and quips and jests—his little
|
||
compliments—his caresses. She counted them all over as a woman might
|
||
count her jewels—not one did she miss from the first day they had met.
|
||
These memories were all she could have now. She shut her eyes and
|
||
prayed.
|
||
|
||
“Let me remember every one, God! Let me never forget one of them!”
|
||
|
||
Yet it would be better to forget. This agony of longing and loneliness
|
||
would not be so terrible if one could forget. And Ethel Traverse. That
|
||
shimmering witch woman with her white skin and black eyes and shining
|
||
hair. The woman Barney had loved. The woman whom he still loved. Hadn’t
|
||
he told her he never changed his mind? Who was waiting for him in
|
||
Montreal. Who was the right wife for a rich and famous man. Barney
|
||
would marry her, of course, when he got his divorce. How Valancy hated
|
||
her! And envied her! Barney had said, “I love you,” to _her_. Valancy
|
||
had wondered what tone Barney would say “I love you” in—how his
|
||
dark-blue eyes would look when he said it. Ethel Traverse knew. Valancy
|
||
hated her for the knowledge—hated and envied her.
|
||
|
||
“She can never have those hours in the Blue Castle. They are _mine_,”
|
||
thought Valancy savagely. Ethel would never make strawberry jam or
|
||
dance to old Abel’s fiddle or fry bacon for Barney over a camp-fire.
|
||
She would never come to the little Mistawis shack at all.
|
||
|
||
What was Barney doing—thinking—feeling now? Had he come home and found
|
||
her letter? Was he still angry with her? Or a little pitiful. Was he
|
||
lying on their bed looking out on stormy Mistawis and listening to the
|
||
rain streaming down on the roof? Or was he still wandering in the
|
||
wilderness, raging at the predicament in which he found himself? Hating
|
||
her? Pain took her and wrung her like some great pitiless giant. She
|
||
got up and walked the floor. Would morning never come to end this
|
||
hideous night? And yet what could morning bring her? The old life
|
||
without the old stagnation that was at least bearable. The old life
|
||
with the new memories, the new longings, the new anguish.
|
||
|
||
“Oh, why can’t I die?” moaned Valancy.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XLII
|
||
|
||
|
||
It was not until early afternoon the next day that a dreadful old car
|
||
clanked up Elm Street and stopped in front of the brick house. A
|
||
hatless man sprang from it and rushed up the steps. The bell was rung
|
||
as it had never been rung before—vehemently, intensely. The ringer was
|
||
demanding entrance, not asking it. Uncle Benjamin chuckled as he
|
||
hurried to the door. Uncle Benjamin had “just dropped in” to enquire
|
||
how dear Doss—Valancy was. Dear Doss—Valancy, he had been informed, was
|
||
just the same. She had come down for breakfast—which she didn’t
|
||
eat—gone back to her room, come down for dinner—which she didn’t
|
||
eat—gone back to her room. That was all. She had not talked. And she
|
||
had been let, kindly, considerately, alone.
|
||
|
||
“Very good. Redfern will be here today,” said Uncle Benjamin. And now
|
||
Uncle Benjamin’s reputation as a prophet was made. Redfern was
|
||
here—unmistakably so.
|
||
|
||
“Is my wife here?” he demanded of Uncle Benjamin without preface.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin smiled expressively.
|
||
|
||
“Mr. Redfern, I believe? Very glad to meet you, sir. Yes, that naughty
|
||
little girl of yours is here. We have been——”
|
||
|
||
“I must see her,” Barney cut Uncle Benjamin ruthlessly short.
|
||
|
||
“Certainly, Mr. Redfern. Just step in here. Valancy will be down in a
|
||
minute.”
|
||
|
||
He ushered Barney into the parlour and betook himself to the
|
||
sitting-room and Mrs. Frederick.
|
||
|
||
“Go up and tell Valancy to come down. Her husband is here.”
|
||
|
||
But so dubious was Uncle Benjamin as to whether Valancy could really
|
||
come down in a minute—or at all—that he followed Mrs. Frederick on
|
||
tiptoe up the stairs and listened in the hall.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy dear,” said Mrs. Frederick tenderly, “your husband is in the
|
||
parlour, asking for you.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, Mother.” Valancy got up from the window and wrung her hands. “I
|
||
cannot see him—I cannot! Tell him to go away—_ask_ him to go away. I
|
||
can’t see him!”
|
||
|
||
“Tell her,” hissed Uncle Benjamin through the keyhole, “that Redfern
|
||
says he won’t go away until he _has_ seen her.”
|
||
|
||
Redfern had not said anything of the kind, but Uncle Benjamin thought
|
||
he was that sort of a fellow. Valancy knew he was. She understood that
|
||
she might as well go down first as last.
|
||
|
||
She did not even look at Uncle Benjamin as she passed him on the
|
||
landing. Uncle Benjamin did not mind. Rubbing his hands and chuckling,
|
||
he retreated to the kitchen, where he genially demanded of Cousin
|
||
Stickles:
|
||
|
||
“Why are good husbands like bread?”
|
||
|
||
Cousin Stickles asked why.
|
||
|
||
“Because women need them,” beamed Uncle Benjamin.
|
||
|
||
Valancy was looking anything but beautiful when she entered the
|
||
parlour. Her white night had played fearful havoc with her face. She
|
||
wore an ugly old brown-and-blue gingham, having left all her pretty
|
||
dresses in the Blue Castle. But Barney dashed across the room and
|
||
caught her in his arms.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy, darling—oh, you darling little idiot! Whatever possessed you
|
||
to run away like that? When I came home last night and found your
|
||
letter I went quite mad. It was twelve o’clock—I knew it was too late
|
||
to come here then. I walked the floor all night. Then this morning Dad
|
||
came—I couldn’t get away till now. Valancy, whatever got into you?
|
||
Divorce, forsooth! Don’t you know——”
|
||
|
||
“I know you only married me out of pity,” said Valancy, brushing him
|
||
away feebly. “I know you don’t love me—I know——”
|
||
|
||
“You’ve been lying awake at three o’clock too long,” said Barney,
|
||
shaking her. “That’s all that’s the matter with you. Love you! Oh,
|
||
don’t I love you! My girl, when I saw that train coming down on you I
|
||
knew whether I loved you or not!”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, I was afraid you would try to make me think you cared,” cried
|
||
Valancy passionately. “Don’t—don’t! I _know_. I know all about Ethel
|
||
Traverse—your father told me everything. Oh, Barney, don’t torture me!
|
||
I can never go back to you!”
|
||
|
||
Barney released her and looked at her for a moment. Something in her
|
||
pallid, resolute face spoke more convincingly than words of her
|
||
determination.
|
||
|
||
“Valancy,” he said quietly, “Father couldn’t have told you everything
|
||
because he didn’t know it. Will you let _me_ tell you—everything?”
|
||
|
||
“Yes,” said Valancy wearily. Oh, how dear he was! How she longed to
|
||
throw herself into his arms! As he put her gently down in a chair, she
|
||
could have kissed the slender, brown hands that touched her arms. She
|
||
could not look up as he stood before her. She dared not meet his eyes.
|
||
For his sake, she must be brave. She knew him—kind, unselfish. Of
|
||
course he would pretend he did not want his freedom—she might have
|
||
known he would pretend that, once the first shock of realisation was
|
||
over. He was so sorry for her—he understood her terrible position. When
|
||
had he ever failed to understand? But she would never accept his
|
||
sacrifice. Never!
|
||
|
||
“You’ve seen Dad and you know I’m Bernard Redfern. And I suppose you’ve
|
||
guessed that I’m John Foster—since you went into Bluebeard’s Chamber.”
|
||
|
||
“Yes. But I didn’t go in out of curiosity. I forgot you had told me not
|
||
to go in—I forgot——”
|
||
|
||
“Never mind. I’m not going to kill you and hang you up on the wall, so
|
||
there’s no need to call for Sister Anne. I’m only going to tell you my
|
||
story from the beginning. I came back last night intending to do it.
|
||
Yes, I’m ‘old Doc. Redfern’s son’—of Purple Pills and Bitters fame. Oh,
|
||
don’t I know it? Wasn’t it rubbed into me for years?”
|
||
|
||
Barney laughed bitterly and strode up and down the room a few times.
|
||
Uncle Benjamin, tiptoeing through the hall, heard the laugh and
|
||
frowned. Surely Doss wasn’t going to be a stubborn little fool. Barney
|
||
threw himself into a chair before Valancy.
|
||
|
||
“Yes. As long as I can remember I’ve been a millionaire’s son. But when
|
||
I was born Dad wasn’t a millionaire. He wasn’t even a doctor—isn’t yet.
|
||
He was a veterinary and a failure at it. He and Mother lived in a
|
||
little village up in Quebec and were abominably poor. I don’t remember
|
||
Mother. Haven’t even a picture of her. She died when I was two years
|
||
old. She was fifteen years younger than Father—a little school teacher.
|
||
When she died Dad moved into Montreal and formed a company to sell his
|
||
hair tonic. He’d dreamed the prescription one night, it seems. Well, it
|
||
caught on. Money began to flow in. Dad invented—or dreamed—the other
|
||
things, too—Pills, Bitters, Liniment and so on. He was a millionaire by
|
||
the time I was ten, with a house so big a small chap like myself always
|
||
felt lost in it. I had every toy a boy could wish for—and I was the
|
||
loneliest little devil in the world. I remember only one happy day in
|
||
my childhood, Valancy. Only one. Even you were better off than that.
|
||
Dad had gone out to see an old friend in the country and took me along.
|
||
I was turned loose in the barnyard and I spent the whole day hammering
|
||
nails in a block of wood. I had a glorious day. When I had to go back
|
||
to my roomful of playthings in the big house in Montreal I cried. But I
|
||
didn’t tell Dad why. I never told him anything. It’s always been a hard
|
||
thing for me to tell things, Valancy—anything that went deep. And most
|
||
things went deep with me. I was a sensitive child and I was even more
|
||
sensitive as a boy. No one ever knew what I suffered. Dad never dreamed
|
||
of it.
|
||
|
||
“When he sent me to a private school—I was only eleven—the boys ducked
|
||
me in the swimming-tank until I stood on a table and read aloud all the
|
||
advertisements of Father’s patent abominations. I did it—then”—Barney
|
||
clinched his fists—“I was frightened and half drowned and all my world
|
||
was against me. But when I went to college and the sophs tried the same
|
||
stunt I didn’t do it.” Barney smiled grimly. “They couldn’t make me do
|
||
it. But they could—and did—make my life miserable. I never heard the
|
||
last of the Pills and the Bitters and the Hair Tonic. ‘After using’ was
|
||
my nickname—you see I’d always such a thick thatch. My four college
|
||
years were a nightmare. You know—or you don’t know—what merciless
|
||
beasts boys can be when they get a victim like me. I had few
|
||
friends—there was always some barrier between me and the kind of people
|
||
I cared for. And the other kind—who would have been very willing to be
|
||
intimate with rich old Doc. Redfern’s son—I didn’t care for. But I had
|
||
one friend—or thought I had. A clever, bookish chap—a bit of a writer.
|
||
That was a bond between us—I had some secret aspirations along that
|
||
line. He was older than I was—I looked up to him and worshipped him.
|
||
For a year I was happier than I’d ever been. Then—a burlesque sketch
|
||
came out in the college magazine—a mordant thing, ridiculing Dad’s
|
||
remedies. The names were changed, of course, but everybody knew what
|
||
and who was meant. Oh, it was clever—damnably so—and witty. McGill
|
||
rocked with laughter over it. I found out _he_ had written it.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, were you sure?” Valancy’s dull eyes flamed with indignation.
|
||
|
||
“Yes. He admitted it when I asked him. Said a good idea was worth more
|
||
to him than a friend, any time. And he added a gratuitous thrust. ‘You
|
||
know, Redfern, there are some things money won’t buy. For instance—it
|
||
won’t buy you a grandfather.’ Well, it was a nasty slam. I was young
|
||
enough to feel cut up. And it destroyed a lot of my ideals and
|
||
illusions, which was the worst thing about it. I was a young
|
||
misanthrope after that. Didn’t want to be friends with any one. And
|
||
then—the year after I left college—I met Ethel Traverse.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy shivered. Barney, his hands stuck in his pockets, was regarding
|
||
the floor moodily and didn’t notice it.
|
||
|
||
“Dad told you about her, I suppose. She was very beautiful. And I loved
|
||
her. Oh, yes, I loved her. I won’t deny it or belittle it now. It was a
|
||
lonely, romantic boy’s first passionate love, and it was very real. And
|
||
I thought she loved me. I was fool enough to think that. I was wildly
|
||
happy when she promised to marry me. For a few months. Then—I found out
|
||
she didn’t. I was an involuntary eavesdropper on a certain occasion for
|
||
a moment. That moment was enough. The proverbial fate of the
|
||
eavesdropper overtook me. A girl friend of hers was asking her how she
|
||
could stomach Doc. Redfern’s son and the patent-medicine background.
|
||
|
||
“‘His money will gild the Pills and sweeten the Bitters,’ said Ethel,
|
||
with a laugh. ‘Mother told me to catch him if I could. We’re on the
|
||
rocks. But pah! I smell turpentine whenever he comes near me.’”
|
||
|
||
“Oh, Barney!” cried Valancy, wrung with pity for him. She had forgotten
|
||
all about herself and was filled with compassion for Barney and rage
|
||
against Ethel Traverse. How dared she?
|
||
|
||
“Well,”—Barney got up and began pacing round the room—“that finished
|
||
me. Completely. I left civilisation and those accursed dopes behind me
|
||
and went to the Yukon. For five years I knocked about the world—in all
|
||
sorts of outlandish places. I earned enough to live on—I wouldn’t touch
|
||
a cent of Dad’s money. Then one day I woke up to the fact that I no
|
||
longer cared a hang about Ethel, one way or another. She was somebody
|
||
I’d known in another world—that was all. But I had no hankering to go
|
||
back to the old life. None of that for me. I was free and I meant to
|
||
keep so. I came to Mistawis—saw Tom MacMurray’s island. My first book
|
||
had been published the year before, and made a hit—I had a bit of money
|
||
from my royalties. I bought my island. But I kept away from people. I
|
||
had no faith in anybody. I didn’t believe there was such a thing as
|
||
real friendship or true love in the world—not for me, anyhow—the son of
|
||
Purple Pills. I used to revel in all the wild yarns they told of me. In
|
||
fact, I’m afraid I suggested a few of them myself. By mysterious
|
||
remarks which people interpreted in the light of their own
|
||
prepossessions.
|
||
|
||
“Then—you came. I _had_ to believe you loved me—really loved _me_—not
|
||
my father’s millions. There was no other reason why you should want to
|
||
marry a penniless devil with my supposed record. And I was sorry for
|
||
you. Oh, yes, I don’t deny I married you because I was sorry for you.
|
||
And then—I found you the best and jolliest and dearest little pal and
|
||
chum a fellow ever had. Witty—loyal—sweet. You made me believe again in
|
||
the reality of friendship and love. The world seemed good again just
|
||
because you were in it, honey. I’d have been willing to go on forever
|
||
just as we were. I knew that, the night I came home and saw my
|
||
homelight shining out from the island for the first time. And knew you
|
||
were there waiting for me. After being homeless all my life it was
|
||
beautiful to have a home. To come home hungry at night and know there
|
||
was a good supper and a cheery fire—and _you_.
|
||
|
||
“But I didn’t realise what you actually meant to me till that moment at
|
||
the switch. Then it came like a lightning flash. I knew I couldn’t live
|
||
without you—that if I couldn’t pull you loose in time I’d have to die
|
||
with you. I admit it bowled me over—knocked me silly. I couldn’t get my
|
||
bearings for a while. That’s why I acted like a mule. But the thought
|
||
that drove me to the tall timber was the awful one that you were going
|
||
to die. I’d always hated the thought of it—but I supposed there wasn’t
|
||
any chance for you, so I put it out of my mind. Now I had to face
|
||
it—you were under sentence of death and I couldn’t live without you.
|
||
When I came home last night I had made up my mind that I’d take you to
|
||
all the specialists in the world—that something surely could be done
|
||
for you. I felt sure you couldn’t be as bad as Dr. Trent thought, when
|
||
those moments on the track hadn’t even hurt you. And I found your
|
||
note—and went mad with happiness—and a little terror for fear you
|
||
didn’t care much for me, after all, and had gone away to get rid of me.
|
||
But now, it’s all right, isn’t it, darling?”
|
||
|
||
Was she, Valancy being called “darling”?
|
||
|
||
“I _can’t_ believe you care for me,” she said helplessly. “I _know_ you
|
||
can’t. What’s the use, Barney? Of course, you’re sorry for me—of course
|
||
you want to do the best you can to straighten out the mess. But it
|
||
can’t be straightened out that way. You couldn’t love me—me.” She stood
|
||
up and pointed tragically to the mirror over the mantel. Certainly, not
|
||
even Allan Tierney could have seen beauty in the woeful, haggard little
|
||
face reflected there.
|
||
|
||
Barney didn’t look at the mirror. He looked at Valancy as if he would
|
||
like to snatch her—or beat her.
|
||
|
||
“Love you! Girl, you’re in the very core of my heart. I hold you there
|
||
like a jewel. Didn’t I promise you I’d never tell you a lie? Love you!
|
||
I love you with all there is of me to love. Heart, soul, brain. Every
|
||
fibre of body and spirit thrilling to the sweetness of you. There’s
|
||
nobody in the world for me but you, Valancy.”
|
||
|
||
“You’re—a good actor, Barney,” said Valancy, with a wan little smile.
|
||
|
||
Barney looked at her.
|
||
|
||
“So you don’t believe me—yet?”
|
||
|
||
“I—can’t.”
|
||
|
||
“Oh—damn!” said Barney violently.
|
||
|
||
Valancy looked up startled. She had never seen _this_ Barney. Scowling!
|
||
Eyes black with anger. Sneering lips. Dead-white face.
|
||
|
||
“You don’t want to believe it,” said Barney in the silk-smooth voice of
|
||
ultimate rage. “You’re tired of me. You want to get out of it—free from
|
||
me. You’re ashamed of the Pills and the Liniment, just as she was. Your
|
||
Stirling pride can’t stomach them. It was all right as long as you
|
||
thought you hadn’t long to live. A good lark—you could put up with me.
|
||
But a lifetime with old Doc Redfern’s son is a different thing. Oh, I
|
||
understand—perfectly. I’ve been very dense—but I understand, at last.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy stood up. She stared into his furious face. Then—she suddenly
|
||
laughed.
|
||
|
||
“You darling!” she said. “You do mean it! You do really love me! You
|
||
wouldn’t be so enraged if you didn’t.”
|
||
|
||
Barney stared at her for a moment. Then he caught her in his arms with
|
||
the little low laugh of the triumphant lover.
|
||
|
||
Uncle Benjamin, who had been frozen with horror at the keyhole,
|
||
suddenly thawed out and tiptoed back to Mrs. Frederick and Cousin
|
||
Stickles.
|
||
|
||
“Everything is all right,” he announced jubilantly.
|
||
|
||
Dear little Doss! He would send for his lawyer right away and alter his
|
||
will again. Doss should be his sole heiress. To her that had should
|
||
certainly be given.
|
||
|
||
Mrs. Frederick, returning to her comfortable belief in an overruling
|
||
Providence, got out the family Bible and made an entry under
|
||
“Marriages.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XLIII
|
||
|
||
|
||
“But, Barney,” protested Valancy after a few minutes, “your
|
||
father—somehow—gave me to understand that you _still_ loved _her_.”
|
||
|
||
“He would. Dad holds the championship for making blunders. If there’s a
|
||
thing that’s better left unsaid you can trust him to say it. But he
|
||
isn’t a bad old soul, Valancy. You’ll like him.”
|
||
|
||
“I do, now.”
|
||
|
||
“And his money isn’t tainted money. He made it honestly. His medicines
|
||
are quite harmless. Even his Purple Pills do people whole heaps of good
|
||
when they believe in them.”
|
||
|
||
“But—I’m not fit for your life,” sighed Valancy. “I’m not—clever—or
|
||
well-educated—or——”
|
||
|
||
“My life is in Mistawis—and all the wild places of the world. I’m not
|
||
going to ask you to live the life of a society woman. Of course, we
|
||
must spend a bit of the time with Dad—he’s lonely and old——”
|
||
|
||
“But not in that big house of his,” pleaded Valancy. “I can’t live in a
|
||
palace.”
|
||
|
||
“Can’t come down to that after your Blue Castle,” grinned Barney.
|
||
“Don’t worry, sweet. I couldn’t live in that house myself. It has a
|
||
white marble stairway with gilt bannisters and looks like a furniture
|
||
shop with the labels off. Likewise it’s the pride of Dad’s heart. We’ll
|
||
get a little house somewhere outside of Montreal—in the real
|
||
country—near enough to see Dad often. I think we’ll build one for
|
||
ourselves. A house you build for yourself is so much nicer than a
|
||
hand-me-down. But we’ll spend our summers in Mistawis. And our autumns
|
||
travelling. I want you to see the Alhambra—it’s the nearest thing to
|
||
the Blue Castle of your dreams I can think of. And there’s an old-world
|
||
garden in Italy where I want to show you the moon rising over Rome
|
||
through the dark cypress-trees.”
|
||
|
||
“Will that be any lovelier than the moon rising over Mistawis?”
|
||
|
||
“Not lovelier. But a different kind of loveliness. There are so many
|
||
kinds of loveliness. Valancy, before this year you’ve spent all your
|
||
life in ugliness. You know nothing of the beauty of the world. We’ll
|
||
climb mountains—hunt for treasures in the bazaars of Samarcand—search
|
||
out the magic of east and west—run hand in hand to the rim of the
|
||
world. I want to show you it all—see it again through your eyes. Girl,
|
||
there are a million things I want to show you—do with you—say to you.
|
||
It will take a lifetime. And we must see about that picture by Tierney,
|
||
after all.”
|
||
|
||
“Will you promise me one thing?” asked Valancy solemnly.
|
||
|
||
“Anything,” said Barney recklessly.
|
||
|
||
“Only one thing. You are never, under any circumstances or under any
|
||
provocation, to cast it up to me that I asked you to marry me.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XLIV
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
E_xtract from letter written by Miss Olive Stirling to Mr. Cecil
|
||
Bruce:_
|
||
|
||
“It’s really disgusting that Doss’ crazy adventures should have turned
|
||
out like this. It makes one feel that there is no use in behaving
|
||
properly.
|
||
|
||
“I’m _sure_ her mind was unbalanced when she left home. What she said
|
||
about a dust-pile showed that. Of course I don’t think there was ever a
|
||
thing the matter with her heart. Or perhaps Snaith or Redfern or
|
||
whatever his name really is fed Purple Pills to her, back in that
|
||
Mistawis hut and cured her. It would make quite a testimonial for the
|
||
family ads, wouldn’t it?
|
||
|
||
“He’s such an insignificant-looking creature. I mentioned this to Doss
|
||
but all she said was, ‘I don’t like collar ad men.’
|
||
|
||
“Well, he’s certainly no collar ad man. Though I must say there is
|
||
something rather distinguished about him, now that he has cut his hair
|
||
and put on decent clothes. I really think, Cecil, you should exercise
|
||
more. It doesn’t do to get too fleshy.
|
||
|
||
“He also claims, I believe, to be John Foster. We can believe _that_ or
|
||
not, as we like, I suppose.
|
||
|
||
“Old Doc Redfern has given them two millions for a wedding-present.
|
||
Evidently the Purple Pills bring in the bacon. They’re going to spend
|
||
the fall in Italy and the winter in Egypt and motor through Normandy in
|
||
apple-blossom time. _Not_ in that dreadful old Lizzie, though. Redfern
|
||
has got a wonderful new car.
|
||
|
||
“Well, I think I’ll run away, too, and disgrace myself. It seems to
|
||
pay.
|
||
|
||
“Uncle Ben is a scream. Likewise Uncle James. The fuss they all make
|
||
over Doss now is absolutely sickening. To hear Aunt Amelia talking of
|
||
‘my son-in-law, Bernard Redfern’ and ‘my daughter, Mrs. Bernard
|
||
Redfern.’ Mother and Father are as bad as the rest. And they can’t see
|
||
that Valancy is just laughing at them all in her sleeve.”
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
CHAPTER XLV
|
||
|
||
|
||
Valancy and Barney turned under the mainland pines in the cool dusk of
|
||
the September night for a farewell look at the Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
Mistawis
|
||
was drowned in sunset lilac light, incredibly delicate and elusive. Nip
|
||
and Tuck were cawing lazily in the old pines. Good Luck and Banjo were
|
||
mewed and mewing in separate baskets in Barney’s new, dark-green car
|
||
_en route_ to Cousin Georgiana’s. Cousin Georgiana was going to take
|
||
care of them until Barney and Valancy came back. Aunt Wellington and
|
||
Cousin Sarah and Aunt Alberta had also entreated the privilege of
|
||
looking after them, but to Cousin Georgiana was it given. Valancy was
|
||
in tears.
|
||
|
||
“Don’t cry, Moonlight. We’ll be back next summer. And now we’re off for
|
||
a real honeymoon.”
|
||
|
||
Valancy smiled through her tears. She was so happy that her happiness
|
||
terrified her. But, despite the delights before her—‘the glory that was
|
||
Greece and the grandeur that was Rome’—lure of the ageless Nile—glamour
|
||
of the Riviera—mosque and palace and minaret—she knew perfectly well
|
||
that no spot or place or home in the world could ever possess the
|
||
sorcery of her Blue Castle.
|
||
|
||
THE END
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BLUE CASTLE: A NOVEL ***
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